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Sep 25 2012

Bacon Shortage Looms; Prices To Double Next Year

I can’t hear through the noise that I’m makin’
As the bones in my knees get to shakin’
It’s the worst news I’ve seen
For Two Thousand Thirteen—
We’ll be facing a shortage of bacon!

We’ll pay more, or we’ll just do without
But the shortage is real, there’s no doubt!
The source of our pain
Is the absence of rain
We’ll be victims of this season’s drought.

With the global pig industry troubled,
Where the market collapsed ‘ere it bubbled,
Better rein in your fork
Cos the prices of pork
They expect, by next year, to be doubled.

Via the Chicago (Hog Butcher for the World) Tribune, news of an unavoidable bacon shortage in the second half of next year. The Financial Times confirms that this is a global crisis; swine herds in Poland are down nearly 10%, and informal surveys of UK farmers suggest nearly double that.

Drought conditions have led to jumps in global prices of corn (maize), wheat, and soybeans, while US politicians ignored any mention of climate change. Maybe–just maybe–the politician’s natural affinity for pork will finally make a difference.

12 comments

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  1. 1
    Trebuchet

    Global warming is imposing Sharia law! It’s a plot!

  2. 2
    Funny Diva

    Love it, Cuttlefish.

    But I believe you meant ‘”rein” in your fork’?

    Proofreadin’Diva
    “but…I don’t eat bacon with a fork!”

  3. 3
    Cuttlefish

    D’oh! Thanks, Diva! I may eventually have to actually start proofreading these things!

    And while bacon is finger food… pork chops want a fork.

    And now, I want pork chops.

  4. 4
    Pierce R. Butler

    … an unavoidable bacon shortage in the second half of next year.

    If it doesn’t have an immediate impact on Teh Election, why would any news media bother to mention it?

  5. 5
    Funny Diva

    Damn you, Cuttlefish! You and your pork-mongery!

    I shouldn’t be so peckish this soon after lunch!

    (baby-back ribs, otoh, are also finger food!)

  6. 6
    pipenta

    Well, bacon has jumped the shark.

    I remember when the idea of bacon in chocolate chip cookies seemed racy and exciting. Then I had some bacon brownies at one of my favorite bistros, and the taste was fine but the muscle fiber was not a texture I want in a dessert. I did not see them on the menu again.

    Then there were bacon shower curtains, bacon air fresheners, the endless bacon tattoos. Archie McPhee was having a baconfest. Recipes for bacon-infused vodka appeared all over teh intrawebs. Appetizers and cocktails had been concatenated. We were having major air over the chondrichthyan, if you know what I mean. And you are all, I am sure, nerdy enough that you do.

    And last week, when I stopped by my friendly neighborhood package store, the fellow in line in front of me was buying bacon ale in opaque pink bottles.

    It had to stop.

    It had to stop.

  7. 7
    Trebuchet

    In an hour or so, I will dine on a twice-baked potato. With cheese and bacon crumbles on top! Yummm.

  8. 8
    Argle Bargle

    It’s not just bacon which will become scarce. A lot of food prices are going to climb higher and higher in the forseeable future.

  9. 9
    Cuttlefish

    Absolutely, Rodney–bacon just happened to be the attention-getting headline for at least three different news sources. As pipenta says, bacon is larger than life.

  10. 10
    rq

    You could always grow your own pig.

  11. 11
    Cuttlefish

    rq, given the high cost of feed, that would be expensive, and given how my kids would immediately make said pig a pet/member of the family, a move like that …*sunglasses*… couldn’t be rasher.

  12. 12
    rq

    I only just caught your reply. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
    But you can always feed it with table scraps (cheaper). Just don’t let them watch Babe.

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