No, it’s not a talent, it’s a disease. After the jump, my observations on the Sandusky verdict. Yes, these are my actual notes while watching the CNN coverage, and yes, they are in rhymed verse. And yes, they are better than the vast majority of the mainstream coverage.
Sandusky is guilty, and now it appears
He’ll be going to prison for four hundred years.
The church should take notice; it’s possible, then,
For a man to be sent from Penn State to State Pen*
(Penn State is the one place you’ll find, if you search,
More revered in this state than the Catholic Church)
The crowds are excited; they’re cheering; it’s weird,
But it’s not the “not guilty” that so many feared.
It’s tragic for all; I won’t cheer with the crowd—
And of course, they’ll appeal, which of course is allowed.
The lawyers still argue; the jury has spoken;
The saga continues; more lives have been broken;
This should be an end, but of course it drags on,
The defense makes a case, but their spirit has gone,
The state is elated; the verdict is theirs;
A message to kids that society cares;
They thank all the victims who spoke up in court,
Who struggled with stigma, by every report,
But testified freely; who dared show their face,
Whose evidence clearly was key in this case…
Debate will continue, for days and for weeks,
There’s no resolution that everyone seeks;
But children are special; they must be protected,
By those we’ve appointed; by those we’ve elected;
And coaches, and bishops, and churches, and schools,
Are expected to lead, not to just follow rules.
These groups are respected; these people are trusted;
You violate this? Then expect to be busted.
The verdict is good; I would not have dissented…
But damn… how I wish it could all be prevented.
*credit where credit is due–kelsey lionel dahmer (@yokelsey) had this joke first, as far as I can tell.