We must elect a president, to start a revolution,
Who’s bold enough, and brave enough, to question evolution!
Whose moral code is biblical, immune from all depravity,
Who won’t give up the fight till we repeal the law of gravity

We need a Christian president—that’s one thing that I know—
Whose values for our future grew two thousand years ago!
Whose thinking starts and finishes inside a holy book
Who doesn’t know of science, and who doesn’t want to look

We need a man for president, a man who holds dominion
Whose superior position is a fact, and not opinion
The Values Voter Summit knows Republicans can’t lose
So long as we’re consistently against a right to choose!

We need a fucking troglodyte, a knuckle-dragging freak
Whose knowledge of the bible trumps ability to speak
The voters don’t want brains at all, so much as they want nerve…
They say, in a democracy, you get what you deserve.