Graduation Rites

All across our mighty nation
At this time of graduation
It is Christian obligation
To acknowledge god in prayer
With a solemn invocation
Or an eloquent oration
That’s an open invitation
Aimed at everybody there

With a biblical quotation
To elicit contemplation:
“Lead us not into temptation”
As we head into the world
And with no equivocation
We affirm our adoration
And we pledge our dedication
To a banner there unfurled.

Now some godless aberration
Through his email machination
Seeks no less than termination
Of our simple, cherished rite!
Says we’re all in violation
Of the proper legislation
And demands an abrogation
Or he’ll lawyer up and fight!

Having read his information
We admit, with resignation,
Though it seems abomination
We sought federal advice
With our lawyers’ consultation,
To avoid much litigation
We announce the cancellation
Of the virgin sacrifice.

Via PZ, we hear of the annual dance between God and Country. Only one or the other gets invited to public school graduations, it seems. In Bastrop, LA, it was God that got the ticket, until Damon Fowler reminded the school that their traditional prayer was unconstitutional. As a reward for his civics lesson, the school lauded the young man, and is dedicating the graduation ceremonies to him.

Oh, wait, no. They are threatening him, and pretty much riding him out of town on a rail. Though the school board quickly realized he was in the right, the good christians of the area are planning to overwhelm the compromise “moment of silence” with prayer. This, of course, is their right. And it shows how much they value the words of Jesus, specifically Matthew 6:5-6. I kinda wish someone there would take that moment of silence (if it is indeed disturbed by loud prayer) as an opportunity to sacrifice a chicken or goat, right there, spray its carcass with rum, and basically exercise the same first amendment rights the other praying folks are. Except that I would feel a bit bad for the poor animal.

Comments

  1. says

    Just get one of those plastic squeaky chickens at petsmart or a stuffed goat toy. Then, you can do all the wonky ritual stuff without feeling so bad about the animals.

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