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Jan 24 2011

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrghghghghgh!

I’ve had broken bones
And kidney stones;
Had migraines wrack my brain
I’ve been cut; I’ve been burned,
And eventually learned
That it doesn’t help much to complain.
I’ve got scars I can trace
Where a dog bit my face
(Well, there’s really no good place to bite us)
Ah, but son of a bitch,
I just can’t stand the itch
Of this damned contact dermatitis!

In the “true tales from the life of Cuttlefish” files, I am going nuts! My hands are shaking with the effort of not scratching (which effort fails miserably), and I can think of nothing but the itching. I want to take a belt sander to my torso, and I think amputating my arms at the shoulder is worth considering. Yes, I’ve called the doctor.

Oh, and all the stuff in the verse is true. The dog was a german shepherd, and it was going for my throat while its owner pulled it back, so it only bit my face. Sitting here, itching, that seems like the good old days.

9 comments

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  1. 1
    Katrina

    You have my sympathy. I've had bouts of eczema since I was a little kid. Happy was I when they finally came up with topical steroids.Have you gotten any meds for it? If it's allergy-related, Benadryl cream can sometimes help.Good luck, and keep those tentacles away from the itch.

  2. 2
    Theophylact

    Epoxy? Polyurethane? Mango peel?

  3. 3
    SUIRAUQA

    Gawd! Use a topical analgesic or steroid or something! Itches hurt in more ways than one! I hope you feel better soon.Also, did you sue the owner of the German Shepherd?

  4. 4
    Johnny Vector

    Ugh, I hate urushiol. Assuming that's what it is. No, wait, I hate urushiol whether or not that's what it is.

  5. 5
    Melissa

    I usually don't leave a comment after reading your poems. But this one made me want to. I'm heading to the doctor for the same thing tomorrow. Our brains tell us not to scratch, but our damned hands seem to have minds of their own. I hope you get better soon. Would it cheer you up to know someone gave me your first book of poems as an xmas present? A wonderful gift.

  6. 6
    Dana Hunter

    Times like these make you wish we'd already sorted out perfect android bodies and brain uploading technology, don't they just? Hope your suffering ends soon!

  7. 7
    Ebonmuse

    I'm pretty impressed that you're still capable of writing poetry while in this lamentable state.

  8. 8
    Anna O'Connell

    You have my utmost sympathy. I too have experienced contact dermatitis, and had the great fun last late spring of experiencing what the doctor said was "the worst case of poison ivy he had EVER seen". Steroids and cortisone creams are your friends.

  9. 9
    David

    Poor Cuttlefish. :-(Get well soon. I hope you find a treatment that works for the dermatitis.

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