Poll on the Pope’s qualifications as a physicist

The Pope has announced that God was the cause behind the Big Bang, which is nice…but unfortunately, he hasn’t shown any data, nor has he published in any of the physics journals. Instead, we’re going to have to rely on a poll.

The pope says God was behind the Big Bang, which scientists believe created the universe. What do you think?

God created everything in seven days as the Bible says, no Big Bang necessary. 13.2%
There is no God and the Big Bang was probably responsible for all creation. 21.2%
I agree with the Pope. If there was a Big Bang, it was God’s work. 39.7%
No one really knows and likely never will. 25.9%

What? No “The Pope is making it all up” option?

More examples of that sophisticated theology

I know you’ve been wondering about the answer to these questions: Does Poop Smell in Heaven? How about before the Fall? Now you can get answers.

The answers are:

  • Nobody poops in heaven.

  • If you’re a young earth creationist, nobody may have pooped during creation week, but if they did, it didn’t stink.

  • If you are a theistic evolutionist, then poop did smell.

All I can infer from that is that the more godly and fundamentalist you are, the more likely you are to be constipated.

I nominate @PZMyers for a Shorty Award in #MasterOfHisDomain because he is!

It’s been a year? Wow. Last year at this time, there was a run of silly votes for what is called the Shorty awards on Twitter — you may recall that a couple of quacks, Mike Adams and Joe Mercola, snapped and started cheating furiously to win the Health category, to no avail: their votes were mostly disqualified. It was hilarious.

Anyway, I got an email asking me to promote another set of candidates this year. If you already have a twitter account — you don’t get to create one for the sole purpose of voting — you can follow the directions below.

I was hoping I could get some help adding a skeptical bent to the Shorty Awards. Last year the health category had Mike Adams and Joe half-man-half-drink Mercola strongly in the lead at the time we noticed, but thanks to their followers vote rigging (disqualifying Adams and having over half of Mercola’s votes revoked, twice) as well as strong support from the skeptical community we managed to get Rachael Dunlop to legitimately and overwhelmingly take out the category.

They’re back on again this year and I’m hoping we can get support from the atheist and skeptical community worldwide from the word go this year, and I’d love it if you could mention it on your blogs and podcasts.

To vote one simply needs a twitter account with prior activity. Accounts created just for voting could result in disqualification of the nominee. Once someone has an account, it’s as simple as sending a tweet in the formats of “I nominate (@person) for a Shorty Award in (#category) because (reason)” or a shorter version of “#shortyawards (@person) (#category) (reason)”.

I have a few recommendations for voting, but of course everyone is more than entitled to vote for whomever they’d like. You are allowed to vote for multiple different people in a single category, so it’s easy enough to vote for a requested person as well as who you’d prefer to see take it out.

“I nominate @DrRachie for a Shorty Award in #health because she does such standup work against quacks.”
“I nominate @BastardSheep for a Shorty Award in #NoPants because #NoPants is life!”
“I nominate @BadAstronomer for a Shorty Award in #science because he always brings us such interesting and amazing info.”
“I nominate @RSPCA for a Shorty Award in #charity because of the awesome work they do for animals.”
“I nominate @GeorgeHrab for a Shorty Award in #entertainment because of his awesome podcast, music and comedy stylings.”
“I nominate @jref for a Shorty Award in #Education because of their promotion of reason in schooling.”
“I nominate @nocompulsoryvac for a Shorty Award in #Quacks because of her tireless effort to spread lies about vaccines.”

And of course @PZMyers for every single category, because that’s kinda traditional isn’t it?

I’ll deviate a little from the recommendations. DrRachie won it last year: I think @RhysMorgan ought to win in the #health category this year.

Nice suck-up in that last line, too.

It wasn’t just shoddy, it was fraud

The infamous Andrew Wakefield study that claimed to find a link between autism and vaccinations is still being scrutinized, and the latest investigation has uncovered evidence of faked data.

A new examination found, by comparing the reported diagnoses in the paper to hospital records, that Wakefield and colleagues altered facts about patients in their study.

The analysis, by British journalist Brian Deer, found that despite the claim in Wakefield’s paper that the 12 children studied were normal until they had the MMR shot, five had previously documented developmental problems. Deer also found that all the cases were somehow misrepresented when he compared data from medical records and the children’s parents.

Children died because of the hysteria fomented by the contemptible Wakefield. How does that guy live with himself?


Here’s how: he’s in denial. Watch Anderson Cooper call an apoplectic Wakefield a liar.

So this is how mainstream religion responds to extremist violence?

I know the excuses already. The cowardly assassin, Mumtaz Qadri, who murdered Governor Taseer in Pakistan was an outlier, a freak, a weirdo, and we atheist bastards better not try to demean religion by associating a rogue individual with it. Can we spit in contempt on an entire culture instead?

Taseer was buried in his home town of Lahore. The 66-year-old was assassinated yesterday by Mumtaz Qadri, one of his police bodyguards, after he had campaigned for reform of the law on blasphemy.

Qadri appeared in court, unrepentant, where waiting lawyers threw handfuls of rose petals over him and others in the crowd slapped his back and kissed his cheek as he was led in and out amid heavy security.

Yeah, Qadri must be a despised outcast and entirely unrepresentative of what the moderates believe.

To be showered with rose petals for gunning down a defenseless man you were hired to protect…it sounds like Islamic Paradise.

Conservative self-identifies with single-celled brainless organism

Among my usual flood of daily email, I frequently get tossed onto mailing lists for conservative think tanks. Why? I don’t know. I suspect that it’s for the same reason I also get a lot of gay porn in my email: not because I follow it or asked to be added, but because some tired d-bag with no imagination thinks its funny to dun me with more junk. The joke’s on them, though: I might keep it around and skim the stuff now and then to get inspiration for a blog post, and then click-click — a few presses of a button and I add the source to my junk mail filter, and never see it again.

No, I didn’t get inspired by gay porn today, but by drivel from some freakish conservative think tank called the Witherspoon Institute, about which I know next to nothing except that they’re another of those organizations that cloak themselves in the Holy Founding Fathers of America to promote illiberal non-freethinking anti-government BS. This latest is by a philosopher criticizing a book about modern reproductive biotechnologies. He doesn’t like ’em. Not one bit, no sir.

But you know an essay from a philosopher is going to be pretty much worthless when it opens and closes with references to… C.S. Lewis. I don’t know why that man gets so much happy clappy press from believers. I suspect he must have sold his soul to the devil.

Anyway, the bizarre part is in the middle, where Justin Barnard is poleaxed by the author’s, Steven Potter’s, willingness to destroy human embryos. Potter apparently considers several of the sides of the debate, but fails to come down on the side of the Religious Right, that is, that embryos are absolutely and undeniably full human beings from the instant of fertilization, instead espousing the dreadful notion that the definition of personhood falls into a huge gray area.

Potter’s own attempt to wrestle with the morality of destroying human embryos is philosophically, if not biologically, confused from the start. He begins by claiming that “each egg and sperm has the potential to make a person.” Biologically, this is simply false. Gametes, by themselves, have no intrinsic developmental potential for human personhood. Of course, Potter knows this. So his use of “potential” is likely more latitudinarian. Still, three pages later, Potter describes the zygote as having “remarkable potential.” “It can,” he explains, “turn itself into a person.” Ironically, Potter fails to recognize that this potentialist understanding of human personhood is at odds with his rather surprising admission of the embryological facts. Potter writes, “Of course we all began as a zygote. Everyone does.” What is shocking about this concession is what it so obviously entails–an entailment that seems lost on Potter. If I, the human being I am today, “began as a zygote,” then the zygote that began the-human-being-I-am-today was me–i.e., it was a human person. It was not merely a cell with “remarkable potential” to become me. It was me.

If anyone is confused here, it’s Barnard. Of course each egg and sperm has the potential to form a person, especially when we throw biotechnology into the equation, as the book he’s reviewing explicitly does. We already have techniques to revert and differentiate a sperm cell into an egg. For that matter, given time and research, we’ll be able to reprogram just about any cell into a totipotent state, and clone someone from a cheek swab. Does Mr Barnard regard every cell he sheds as a potential person?

Perhaps he wants to argue that a sperm or egg cell doesn’t have the potential for personhood without a human assist. But then by that limitation the zygote has to be excluded as well — no human zygote can develop to term without the extreme cooperation of another individual. Try it; extract a fertilized egg and set it in a beaker by your nightstand, and wait for a baby to crawl out. Won’t happen. A uterus and attendant physiological and behavioral meat construct, i.e., woman, is also an amazing piece of biotechnology that is a necessary component of the developmental process.

But the real blow to this whole “potential” argument is damaged irreparably by Barnard’s last few sentences — was he going for a reductio here? Is the entire essay an exercise in irony? ‘Cause that dope was dumb.

Yes, Mr Barnard began as a zygote. That does not mean the zygote was Mr Barnard. My car began as a stack of metal ingots and barrels of plastics; that does not imply that an ingot of iron is a car. My house began as a set of blueprints and an idea in an architect’s mind; nobody is going to pay the architect rent for living in his cranium or on a stack of paper in a cabinet. The zygote was not Justin Barnard, unless Justin Barnard is still a vegetating single-celled blob, in which case I’d like to know how he typed his essay.

Since Barnard claims to be a philosopher, I’ll cite another, a guy named Aristotle. This is a quote I use in the classroom when I try to explain to them how epigenesis works, in contrast to preformation. Aristotle did some basic poking around in chicken eggs and in semen, and he noticed something rather obvious—there were no bones in there, nor blood, nor anything meatlike or gristly or brainy. So he made the simple suggestion that they weren’t there.

Why not admit straight away that the semen…is such that out of it blood and flesh can be formed, instead of maintaining that semen is both blood and flesh?

Barnard is making the classic preformationist error of assuming that everything had to be there in the beginning: I am made of bones and blood and flesh and brains and guts and consciousness and self-identity, therefore the zygote must have contained bones and blood and flesh and brains and guts and consciousness and self-identity.

It didn’t.

Why not admit straight away that the zygote is such that out of it selfhood may arise, rather than maintaining that the zygote is the self?

In that case we have to recognize that the person is not present instantaneously at one discrete moment, but emerges gradually over months to years of time, that there were moments when self was not present and other moments when self clearly was present, and moments in between where there is ambiguity or partial identity or otherwise blurry gray boundaries. This is a conclusion that makes conservative ideologues wince and shy away — I think it’s too complicated for their brains, which may in some ways be equivalent to the gormless reflexive metabolic state of the zygote — but it is how science understands the process of development.

The Annals of Thoracic Surgery has its own notions of transparency

I don’t think journal editor L. Henry Edmunds is quite clear on how the scientific method should work: we’re supposed to have the free exchange of information. His journal recently retracted a paper (from other sources, it was apparently because the authors, um, “recycled” data from another study), and when asked why, his answer was “It’s none of your damned business”, ranted a bit against “journalists and bloggists”, and then made an interesting comparison: “If you get divorced from your wife, the public doesn’t need to know the details.”.

Hmmm. Except that details of your relationship with your wife aren’t part of your professional interactions with colleagues, aren’t usually presented as data in papers and talks, aren’t part of an institution of collaboration and research that relies on those details, and your relationship isn’t going to someday maybe crack open my chest or the chests of thousands of other people, who are going to depend on the information about your divorce to improve the quality and duration of their lives.