I knew there was a reason I hated cats. The one we’ve got is a Luddite.

She’s been busily chewing through and clawing computer cables. Earlier this week, she destroyed the phone—while I was on it. She saw me talking to someone, there was this lovely dangling cord, so she leapt up, snagged it, tore the base from the wall and smashed it on the floor, and left me standing there holding a disconnected handset to my ear.

Last night was the final straw. She managed to discover our wireless router, climbed up to the high shelf where it was located, and threw it down to the ground. It looks OK superficially, the little green light comes on, but now none of our computers can find a signal from it, so it seems to be dead.

That’s right. This cat has been methodically demolishing all telecommunications from the Myers household. I’m using my iPad and its 3G connection to send out this last desperate plea for help…before she comes for it, too.

Anyway, this is a problem. I usually put up a series of blog posts before I head off to work, but that’s not an option today. Blame the cat.

I’m going off to the Twin Cities this weekend with my wife, who has a professional meeting there, and I’m going to pick up a new router while I’m there. Also, I think, a couple of squirt bottles. Anyone know if they make iron shackles that fit cats? Something crude and low-tech would be appropriate.

Anyone who lives in a log cabin and hates technology and doesn’t believe in phones and cables and wires want to adopt a cat?

On top of my usual horrible Wednesday class load, which means I don’t emerge from non-stop working with students until 5pm, my division has scheduled a major meeting for 3 hours from 6pm to 9pm. Goodbye 16 October, I think I’ll just deny your existence until the calendar rolls over to 17.

It would be nice if I could just go back to bed right now.

I’ve been distracted this morning — I had to put down a rebellion. Various bacteria have been staging a revolt and trying to bolt out of the confines of my gut by cunningly fleeing into the sewers; not cunningly enough, though, as I’ve dealt with the traitors by sending great chasers of hydrochloric acid after them. This is how a tyrant deals with betrayal and cowardice! Death to the disloyal! Painful slow burning death!

Now I have to go lie down.

Reminder: I’m going to be in Austin this weekend. On Saturday, I’m going to be giving a lecture on bat evolution (in a church!) followed by the always awesome bat cruise. One and a half million bats will darken the twilight skies, while a mob of atheists cheer them on. How can you miss this?

You know what, guys? I’m really worn out. Wednesdays I’ve just got back-to-back-to-back teaching — I talk and coax students into talking for about 3 hours straight — and I’m planning to vegetate for a while. Maybe a glass of wine and a really bad movie, and then early to bed.

You don’t need me for anything, do you? Just talk among yourselves, in your best Boris Karloff voices.

At 6pm Eastern (in about 2 hours), I’ll be getting interviewed on WFMU radio. It’s a call-in show, so feel free to ask intelligent questions.

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Well, that was fun, but I fear I may not have sold many books. I got the impression it was a very liberal audience that wasn’t quite with reality, so all the questions that started off well with ideas about religion vs. science or an afterlife tended to veer off into acupuncture or UFOs of something, and I’d have to say “no, that’s bunk.”

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You can download the show now.

I didn’t forget you. I got into Washington DC late last night, had a flavulous meal with Melody and Simon, slept, had a pleasant and interesting conversation with some ex-Muslims, had brunch with some local CFI people, gave a talk or something, signed a whole bunch of books, took a long cab ride to Dulles, and am now sitting in an airport waiting for a magic winged cylinder to fly me home. I get back to Minneapolis around 9, then drive home to get there about midnight, and then I get to rise up in the morning and go teach a couple of classes, which I’ll be preparing for on the plane.

I haven’t had much me time lately, but I did make a new friend, thanks to some generous Hordies.

So what have you been up to lately?

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We have a few pictures of the event at GWU.

Tomorrow I’m heading off to Washington DC to talk happily atheistically, but later this month on the 28th I’ll be in Austin, Texas for their world-renowned bat cruise (will it be on a bat-boat with bat-beer and bat-people? Will we also fight crime? I hope so). I’m also doing a talk on Bat Evolution for the Atheist Community of Austin before we go observe the bats. It’s going to be a real Bat Weekend! You should come. Just go register now.

My wife loves bats, too. I think she’s jealous that she’s not going.

This webcomic was just too sad, and it reminded me of my childhood a little bit. Only it wasn’t my father, but my grandfather. And he’d drive me over to the Eagles Club and tell me to wait there or play on the sidewalk while he had a few drinks.

But he never gave me a couple of dollars to get some pop while I waited. That kid was so lucky.