I subscribe to the Oglaf patreon. I find the comic amusing, and via the patreon, I get extra content, sporadically. Recently, Trudy and Doug posted “A bunch of ideas we had that didn’t quite turn into strips but that we also couldn’t quite let go of,” and there was one that I also found irresistible. It’s mildly scatological and definitely profane, and also biological, so I have to post it here.

Matthew 6:28-29

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

Flowers of the field are shitty with Matthew.

What? We aren’t working because we’re not running a bakery or some shit?

We’re processing carbon dioxide to oxygen and carbohydrates, storing that energy, growing roots and leaves, drawing water and nutrients from the soil, deploying defenses against climate and pests, constantly battling for reproduction and survival.

Fuck you.

Let’s see you attract appropriate pollinators with scent and colour and then tell us we don’t work, you anthrocentric shit.

I post it here because, tragically, I cannot use it in my classes, no matter how appropriate the point is.