The bowtie makes me suspicious right away
I shouldn’t have to tell my students that I don’t regard their backpacks as urinals, but apparently some professors have issues.
A Macalester College student has accused her chemistry professor of pissing (“urinating,” to use the legal term) on her backpack last December, reports the Mac Weekly. That prof, identified in a police report regarding “fourth-degree intentional damage to property” (well that really removes a lot of the nuance from the incident), is Paul Fischer, who is no longer a Mac employee.
That’s a first to me. There is an official police report on the incident.
A report from the St. Paul Police Department (SPPD) states that, on Feb. 6 at 9:41 a.m., a Macalester student informed SPPD officers that an individual had urinated on her belongings on Dec. 5, 2025, on Macalester’s campus. The report names former Macalester chemistry Professor Paul Fischer as the suspect in the case.
According to a statement SPPD spokesperson Alyssa Arcand made to the Pioneer Press, the student left her backpack unattended for several minutes in a classroom building and discovered urine on it when she returned.
So the event happened at the end of Fall term. Then, at the beginning of Spring term, Fischer is abruptly terminated.
On Feb. 19, chemistry Professor Keith Kuwata sent an email to all chemistry majors and minors, as well as biology majors with a biochemistry emphasis, stating that “Fischer is no longer an employee of Macalester College and is not authorized to be anywhere on campus.”
Kuwata’s email also notes that it has been “an unsettling time for many of you.” He stated that the department’s top priorities were student well-being and academic success.
My sympathies to the chemistry faculty at Macalester, that’s a rough decision to make, to suddenly drop a professor early in the term. I hope the students aren’t too traumatized by a professor suddenly losing his mind. That comment about “an unsettling time” suggests there is a lot more to the story, but they aren’t talking.
Apparently, Fischer started teaching at Macalester in 2001, not much different from me, starting at UMM in 2000. Do professors typically start falling apart around the 25 year mark? Should I be worried?
Again, I want to reassure my students that I probably won’t start pissing on everything.
Now, now. Don’t go making promises you can’t keep.
Probably?
Why did she wait two months to report it? Seems like that would be something one would want to immediately report.
From your link:
Now my question is why did it take so long for this person to get terminated.
Those reports come from RateMyProfessor, which is definitely not a reliable source.
See, if it was a zoologist, instead of a chemist, it would just be a case of “marking his territory”. But no, so boot ‘im out.
That behavior suggests disinhibition from frontal lobe dysfunction, possibly dementia, stroke, or tumor. He should see a neurologist.
As tragic as this seems to be, the good side is that 20 years from now, the students will have an absolutely unique story to tell about their bright, college days.