I refuse to mansplain vaginas to you

Instead, I’ll let the Vagina Museum talk about spider vaginas (actually, they’re called epigynes…oh crap, I did it anyway.)

Very few people are interested in spider epigynes, so here, here’s a whole article about vaginas. They’re rather nifty organs, you know, with many different names.

Hah! You probably thought I was going to list a bunch of slang terms, didn’t you?

How about if I show you pictures of vaginas instead?

I’m sorry to say that humans are pretty basic — no spermatheca at all. I’m pleased that they also lack sclerotization, at least.


  1. wzrd1 says

    I dunno, could our Bartholin’s Glands and bulbourethral glands be simply repurposed and respecialized spermatheca? Or just a convergence in evolution?
    Find out next week, in Flights of Fancy!

    I do find it fascinating how many ways nature reuses and retasks tubes. Pretty much everything starts out as a tube or closed end tube, becoming a tube – to bag and compartments occur incrementally. Maybe a bit of a one trick pony in the shapes department, but nature sure has that trick down pat in very, very, very useful ways! Can contain organs, a nervous system, digestive system, respiratory system and some really weird and complex self-replication systems that have way too many parts to ever work properly. ;)
    Of course, you’re welcome to try to model cellular signaling for differentiation on something that’s a square, rather than a round tube. I tend to avoid trying such things, as I really am trying to stop howling at the moon.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    Looking at all these alien-y bits i am beginning to be jealous of species that reproduce by cloning.
    Or maybe just belong to a species where pollen or spermatozoa go away and take care of the messy reproduction business somewhere beyond the horizon.

  3. wzrd1 says

    christoph @ 3, what were those bits doing that was naughty? Did doctor help those naughty bits become nice bits again?

    birgerjohansson @ 4, don’t get me started on pollen. Tree pollen allergy makes a fair bit of the spring an exercise in misery for me.
    And remember, life as a plant is a continuous exercise in chemical warfare against competing plants. Granted, mostly under the soil, but it still remains a thing. Then, there’s herbivores to counter, usually with other nasty chemicals. Way, way too much work in that. Most animals don’t need to make so many expensive chemicals up, so can simply enjoy basking for a fair bit of time.

  4. bcw bcw says

    @8 but half the time Ikea forgets the sex tool you need for screwing and you end up having to use your fingers like in real life.

  5. Rob Grigjanis says

    wzrd1 @7:

    Tree pollen allergy makes a fair bit of the spring an exercise in misery for me.

    My commiserations. In Toronto, this June was the worst in my memory, and a write-off in terms of working out. Last year was OK…

  6. birgerjohansson says

    Wzrd1 1 @ 7
    Brazilian killer bee swarm: “We want your pollen! Give us all your pollen!

  7. wzrd1 says

    Rob Grigjanis @ 16, the worst year I remember, I thought I was becoming asthmatic, then it rained and the gutters were solid green with tree pollen.

    We had a brief period as a thunderstorm was rolling in and the sky got a particular shade of green consistent with tornadoes. Thankfully, it was pretty much linear winds in front and during the storm and it blew over. Had a power blink, consistent with an arc tripping protectors and reapplying power again afterward. And no tornado activity in the area.
    Had a few near misses in my life, one with the damned funnel cloud beginning to drop literally on top of our heads, thankfully that one was disrupted from grounding from high winds coming through the gap in the mountains. Once that storm passed over the three mountains, it Hoovered a farm and quit.