Happy Father’s Day for those of you who have fathers you respect

I don’t have a father anymore, and I miss him all the time. If you got one, give him a call!

I spent the weekend with my daughter and granddaughter (National Grandparents Day is on Sunday, 10 September, my wife’s birthday, so that’ll be easy to remember), and Skatje fixed a delicious dinner of fish and mushrooms, while Iliana made festive mudcakes. I haven’t heard from my oldest son yet, but that’s better than what my other son did — he called to tell me he’s going camping at the Mora Campground near La Push, and he didn’t invite me! I’m very upset. I love that part of the world.

He also reminded me of one time I was camping out that way with my brother, Jim, and how we got soaked in the constant rain there and drove into Forks to get cheeseburgers. It’s weird how the older you get, the more associations every bit of dirt on the planet acquires, and everything keeps bringing back old memories.

Anyway, Jim’s dead now too, and he left behind 3 kids who I hope are all remembering him today.

Now I need to go recover from hours of driving and an exhausting 4 year old.


  1. birgerjohansson says

    I lost my father to cancer 1983 and I never really bounced back from the trauma. Modern pharmaceuticals rock.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    If you have a camera with a mucrophone, I recommend you “document” your elderly relatives while they are still around.
    Another thing: elderly are more vulnerable to extreme temperatures. Maybe help your parents invest in A/C if they have not alreday got it.
    New medicines for osteoporosis are in the pipeline; check if your parents are among those who might need it. A simple fall might crush the pelvis bones, usually leading to death in a month or two.

  3. Oggie: Mathom says

    Just got off the phone with my father. Mom died, back in May, on Mother’s Day (also the birthday of his great granddaughers). The UU minister helped my sister (who lives up in Maine with him), my dad, and I deal with Mom’s death. The memorial service/celebration of life had us crying and laughing. And allowed Dad to finally cry. He is doing much better.

    I told him, “Happy Father’s Day Cubed,” him being a great grandfather and all. You, PZ, and I are only Fathers squared, so, “Happy Father’s Day Squared, PZ.”

  4. John Morales says

    I never had a father, nor am I a father.

    But fair enough if others appreciate theirs, of if their progeny appreciate them.

  5. whheydt says

    My father died in June 1975. While I miss him, the big hole is that my wife died almost exactly (28 June) a year ago.

  6. wzrd1 says

    My eldest once said, “You make questionable decisions, but you give great advice”.
    My reply was, “Now you know why I can give such great advice, by making mistakes and learning from them”.

    birgerjohansson, my wife was to start immune therapy for osteoporosis. Apparently, there’s a synthetic antibody that suppresses osteoclasts, thereby allowing osteoblasts to proliferate and grow bone faster than it’s resorbed. As you said, there’s a bucketload coming down the pike soon as well.

  7. chigau (違う) says

    I am a couple of years away from being the same age as my father was when he died.

  8. moarscienceplz says

    “Skatje fixed a delicious dinner of fish and mushrooms, while Iliana made festive mudcakes.”
    Skatje might have bought a bag of masa harina and made a quick masa dough for Iliana to pat out into tortillas. Cook ’em up in a frying pan in a few minutes and they would go great with fish and mushrooms. Got to help these sprouts to understand that food comes from the soil and the kitchen, and not from Doordash, ASAP.

  9. Silentbob says

    @ 5 John Morales

    I never had a father

    I did. You were lucky.

    (Can’t resist pointing out that if anyone else made the quoted claim, Mr Hyperliteralism would have spent the rest of the day arguing at length that while they may have had a deceased father, or an absent father, they nevertheless had a father. I shan’t follow his example.)

  10. John Morales says

    Sorry to hear that, Silentbob.

    I reckon you’re right — no father is better than a bad father.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    BTW the Swedish Church provides support programs for people that have lost a family member and you do not need to be religious to participate.
    This is a bona fide application of the Golden rule; unconditional support.

    I have lost several relatives to Alzheimers and I have followed articles about research for more than twenty years: it can compete with cancer for the title “The emperor of maladies “.
    Fortunately we are finally seeing some progress in basic science of understanding this disease.

  12. simply not edible says

    I sent my stepfather a message – he and my mother are celebrating a well deserved vacation in Denmark right now.

    I lost my biological father to him being a completely unreliable alcoholic who did not know how to actually SHOW care for his family. He is not dead, and I genuinely hope he does better now, but it’s just been too much for me to take, and I ended up having to choose my own mental health over a continued relationship with that particular man. Had he been anyone besides my biological father, I would have cut ties years earlier and spared myself much psychological trauma that I now sadly have to deal with.

    Family and father figures are complicated, but my life started improving when I realized that they are also flexible and we have agency in deciding who we do and don’t include in that. Like so much in life, it’s more than just simple biology if it’s going to have any real value.

  13. simply not edible says

    Of course, where I say “father figures” I meant “parental figures”, it’s just… a father’s day post.

  14. magistramarla says

    I found my father when I was in my 30s. My abusive mother had raised me believing that he was dead.
    My cousins were afraid of her wrath, so they waited until she was very far gone with dementia to tell me the truth.
    I enjoyed getting to know my Dad during the 15 years we had before he died.
    He was delighted to get to know his five grandchildren.
    I wish that I had been able to grow up with him rather than with my mother.