That other Pennsylvania candidate

No Dr Oz today. There’s an even worse guy running for office in Pennsylvania: Doug Mastriano wants to be governor, and he’s a certifiable nutcase.

The Republican nominee for governor of Pennsylvania has done any number of things that would doom to Hades the political prospects of any mortal politician: wearing a Confederate uniform, doing business with a white nationalist website, calling Roe v. Wade worse than the Holocaust, associating with militia figures from groups such as the Oath Keepers, appearing at the Capitol during the Jan. 6 insurrection, and sharing QAnon conspiracy ideas, anti-Semitic propaganda and anti-Muslim hatred.

But though he walks through the shadow of the valley of defeat, he fears no evil — because he has his very own campaign prophet! Her name is Julie Green, and she personally receives messages directly from God, “sometimes … twice a day,” she says, when He instructs her to turn on certain recordings and then speaks to her through the music’s “frequencies.”

Yes. English grammar.

This is not that unusual in America since every conservative president seems to adopt a personal god-walloper. For many years — most of my life, it seems — it was Billy Graham. Julie Green, though, is particularly weird.

Pennsylvania Republican gubernatorial nominee Doug Mastriano has promoted and campaigned with Julie Green, a “prophet” who has claimed that God will execute political figures “for their planned pandemic, shortages, inflation, mandates and for stealing an election.” The Mastriano ally and fringe religious commentator has also alleged a variety of conspiracy theories, including that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi “loves to drink the little children’s blood”; the government is conducting “human sacrifices” to stay in power; and President Joe Biden is secretly dead and an “actor” is playing him.

Green’s prophecies are badly performed pro-Trump fantasies in which God has “chosen” Trump to be his “Moses” to “deliver the people out of the hands of these nowaday pharaohs.” In this telling, the “majority” of states will decertify their 2020 election results, Trump will “take back his rightful place of power,” and God will send his “Angel of Death” to take the lives of people who stole the 2020 election, among other alleged misdeeds.

Green’s prophecies justify the coming deaths of elected officials by alleging vast conspiracy theories. For instance, she claimed Rep. Ilhan Omar is “a spy sent from your land to get everything you could to give it back to the nation that you serve”; she said that Sen. Mitt Romney’s “fingerprints will be found all over the fraud of the 2020 election”; and alleged that Govs. Gretchen Whitmer and Brian Kemp were also involved in stealing the 2020 election.

Her prophecies have a special place for Mastriano and Pennsylvania. On February 28, she prophesied: “Doug Mastriano, I have you here for such a time as this, saith the Lord. I know it seemed like I had forsaken you, all your hard work, and all the time you put forth to get to the truth in election integrity. You know the truth, and you have seen so much evidence of what really happened. It is now time to move forward with the plans you have been given. Yes, Doug, I am here with you. I will not forsake you. The time has come for their great fall and for the great steal to be overturned.”

I had to look to see what this Julie Green is all about…and I’m sorry, she is the most uncharismatic evangelical preacher I’ve ever seen. She has this rather flat delivery of nonsense, and her videos…well, I include one here just so you can see what I’m talking about. It’s strange. It’s random animal videos with Green in a corner, talking, but her voice is completely out of sync with her mouth. Don’t watch the whole thing, it’s boring and poorly done, and if you watch a few minutes (or seconds) of it you’ll have captured the flavor of her entire video catalog.

What’s also strange is that while she has 10 times the number of channel subscribers that I do, hardly any of them watch her video — the number of views is typically in the hundreds. It’s like how an American majority may claim to be church members, only a small minority actually attend church on Sunday. I think there are a lot of fanatical far-right old people who see a sermon by her on Facebook, click on subscribe, and then don’t bother to look up her work at all regularly.

To put it in perspective, my maggot video has had more viewers than most of Julie Green’s boring prophecies. I don’t know why no governors have attached me to their election campaigns. Hey, Tim Walz, for a small fee, I could feed you a steady supply of cool spider videos! Call me.

Oh wait — an explanation. Julie Green Ministries has said they have no videos on YouTube (for good reason, they’re banned), and the videos I saw were all made by some rabid fan who steals the official videos on Rumble and Telegram and Truth Social and hacks them up and splices audio recordings of her sermons with what seems to be an arbitrary recording of her face. If you check out those sites, there are no cute animal videos, her voice is in sync, and the number of views is much more representative of her popularity among the Q wackos. The content is still flat and boring, though.


  1. birgerjohansson says

    Let me guess. The kook has massive support in the polls.
    Because the other party wants to abort baby Jesus and turn granny into Soylent Green.

  2. Reginald Selkirk says

    To put it in perspective, my maggot video has had more viewers than most of Julie Green’s boring prophecies.

    And I would vote for those maggots over Doug Mastriano.

  3. acroyear says

    suggestion all: if you want to glance at the video, open in incognito window / private browsing. you don’t want that crap to start flooding your ‘recommended videos’ list.

  4. Rich Woods says

    @acroyear #5:

    you don’t want that crap to start flooding your ‘recommended videos’ list.

    You’re right. Let me just flick over to my girlfriend’s account…

  5. René says

    In the meantime, Britain, as a kind of a collective Joanna the Mad (Juana la Loca) is dragging the coffin all over the place.
    Having seen some of the filming, it occurred to me that driving on the left is a perfect symbol for British backwardness in matters royal.

  6. raven says

    PA Governor Race: Shapiro leads Mastriano by 15 points in … › pa-governor-race-shapiro-lea…

    Aug 18, 2022 — Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro leads a poll in Pennsylvania Governor’s race poll by 15 points over Republican State Senator Doug Mastriano…

    Some good news for once.
    At least polls show the Democrat, Josh Shapiro, leading over the kook.

    These days it is always surprising when a US state decides not to wreck itself and make the residents even more miserable.

  7. ajbjasus says


    We travel on the left hand side of carriageways so that our lance is on the correct side to deal with ruffians travelling in the opposite direction.

    Assuming we’re right handed of course.

  8. René says

    No of course not. But have you ever noticed that, e.g., in comics fighting forward is always from left to right? And retreating is from right to left? Ditto in westerns.
    The reverse is true in Muslim cultures.
    In short, L-to-R is advance, R-to-L is backward. Sth to do with direction of writing.

  9. René says

    Missed your comment, typing my own.

    so that our lance is on the correct side

    . How backward is that?

  10. birgerjohansson says

    But the Brits hack open their boiled eggs from the correct side!

    ( Reference to 17-century book. Which is the only kind of book worthy of reading.
    PS that young Victorian whippersnapper Jacob Rees-Mogg should not be trusted – a top hat instead of a tricorn one, typical papist).

  11. birgerjohansson says

    An uncharismatic preacher is safer than the other kind.
    Just watch “The Tears of Tammy Fae”. And that film glossed over some even worse things.
    Fun fact; a lot of US churches arranged trips to watch this film, thinking it would be family-friendly.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    The archaic greeks were writing from one side to the other, then switch direction on the next line. Do not tell Liz Truss!

  13. Reginald Selkirk says

    @18: But the Brits hack open their boiled eggs from the correct side!

    Let me guess: that means from the outside!

  14. birgerjohansson says

    Reginald @ 21
    No, that is the way the vulgar Europeans would do it.
    Rene @ 7
    Please tell me they will build a mausoleum in the centre of the capital and let people walk past the mummified corpse.

    “Joe Biden is dead”
    A Dark City scenario!

  15. says

    Oh, but weren’t we blessed: Ronnie the Rabid Raygun had his wife’s magic mystical “fortune” teller to guide him in the ways of destroying our society. “Fortune” in this case means that her corporate backers would bestow magical millions on Rabid Ronnie. WTF

  16. says

    He instructs her to turn on certain recordings and then speaks to her through the music’s “frequencies.”

    This reminds me of an incident with an acquaintance, she got messages from Microsoft through the song selection on the radio. At least she had a good excuse; amphetamine-induced psychosis.

  17. lanir says

    I guess this guy is going with the Trumpian idea that the best thing to be is the king, but if you can’t have that then second best is the jester who gets to pretend he’s the king?

  18. whheydt says

    The college that Mastriano got his PhD from has released his thesis. A bunch of questions have been raised about how and why it was approved, and why it took so long to make it publicly available. It was about Sgt. Alvin York.

  19. Oggie: Mathom says

    Mastriano, in the state house, represents a district that includes the town of Chambersburg. Chambersburg, during the Gettysburg campaign, was looted and burned to the ground by Confederate calvary. So what costume does Mastriano wear for a photo at the US Army War College? Go ahead. Guess.

    I drove through Chambersburg in late August. Mastriano posters and signs everywhere. And lots of Confederate flags flying in Chambersburg.


  20. birgerjohansson says

    My usual invectives are getting worn out. Are there any reports of Mastriano molesting livestock yet? Is he listening to John Wayne through the white noise of the TV channel? If the answers to both are “yes”, he has a career in British politics ahead of him. Or maybe in Swedish politics, as no rules matter anymore.

  21. says

    …he has his very own campaign prophet! Her name is Julie Green,…
    Reminds me of Reagan’s personal astrologer. Why are conservatives so easily duped?

  22. jrkrideau says

    @33 Ray
    “Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives…
    John Stuart Mill

  23. StevoR says

    Isn’t there some verse in the Buybull about what should be done to false prophets?

    Not that I think they should follow their own holy book – nobody deserves that at least the worse things it advocates including capital punishment followed by infinite endless torture afterwards – but if they claim to follow their own book – and how much if anything has this “prophet” got right so far implying..?

    Disclaimer : No, I don’t believe in the death penalty and, no, she should NOT be done unto as her holy book says to do unto people claiming to be “prophets” incorrectly but .. sheesh.

    I would have all people reject this Julie Green’s hateful messages, treat her as having zero credibility and maybe get her any mental health help that might be required. I don’t know if clinical becuase I not a doctor of any sort at all – let alone her one – but, from what I gather here, she is very seriously deluded and out of touch with reality.