Happy New Year…it’s your last

It brings a tear to my eye to see a couple of conspiracy theories come together with a dash of the apocalypse.

Challenge accepted. I have an elegant little disproof I’m polishing up right now, which I anticipate publishing on 6 January.


  1. stroppy says

    A time for both retrospection and looking forward.

    Yesterday was the anniversary of the massacre at Wounded Knee.
    Medals of Honor awarded to soldiers who participated in the massacre have still not been recinded.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 1

    Who needs evidence when you have paranoia and stupidity?

    @ 2

    Of course they haven’t. Withdrawing the honors would anger the Right/White wing and Biden and the Dems doesn’t want to do that.

  3. Rob Curtis says

    everyone knows it is 6G that will activate the nanobots injected in the covid vaccine. that’s why they launched the JWST. its not an infrared telescope. it’s an orbital mind control laser,


  4. says

    Jan 5th can’t happen soon enough. That’s payday for me. Looking forward to paying rent and going grocery shopping. Oh wait, I’m supposed to die that day too? Can’t do it. Gonna have to reschedule the 5G-pocalypse. Maybe sometime in March.

  5. microraptor says

    @8: That’s because you’re not counting the SECRET 5G towers that Iran installed in secret.

  6. Walter Solomon says

    I thought 5G was the true cause of the pandemic all along. Why is it only going to affect the vaccinated in the third calendar year of the pandemic?

  7. Walter Solomon says

    To be clear, I don’t believe 5G is the cause of the pandemic but that’s what the trogs have been blaming for COVID for two years.

  8. says

    If we had the tech to do this why wouldn’t we use it to make the world a better place? Most conspiracy theories vastly overestimate the skill and capability of the conspirators.
    Rules for running an actual conspiracy:
    1: More people = bad
    2: Less people = good
    3: Have a goal
    4: Does the goal make logical sense?
    5: Are you sure?

  9. R. L. Foster says

    @2 – They’ll never rescind those medals, Stroppy. To do so would admit they were wrong. Even admitting that gunning down fleeing women and children was a crime is too much for them to acknowledge. If we’ve learned one thing over the last few years it’s that White America has a real problem confronting its past. We wouldn’t want to cause their children any discomfort, would we?

  10. Larry says

    @ #2

    So how many defenseless women, children, and old people did one have to slaughter to be come eligible for the MoH?

  11. robro says

    This raises a lot of questions: Do they know what time on the 5th this will happen? Should I let my boss know I might be out on Wednesday? And damn, that’s the day I get a permanent crown on my tooth. Do I cancel the appointment? In preparation, should I drink a 5th of Scotch?

  12. birgerjohansson says

    During the presidency of Wilson, the white supremacist, they had no problems rescinding a congressional medal of honor for a woman in Richmond who had helped slaves and passed on information overheard in the palace of the treason president to the north, to great danger of herself.

  13. PaulBC says

    I’ve been catching up on Warehouse 13 (long story short: I ran out of good shows to catch up on, and I also canceled Netflix so I’m stuck with freebies). It sounds like the Paracelsus subplot only on a bigger scale. What would be the purpose of having everyone suddenly drop like flies except to absorb our combined life force and gain godlike powers? I sense an artifact at work here. Most likely Samuel Morse’s telegraph key is connected to one of those 5G towers.

    #ProveMeWrong (and thus I cleverly invert the burden of proof; oh wait, I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.)

  14. PaulBC says

    Isn’t January 6, 2022 the day that Bob Marley and Jim Morrison are going to come back and perform a free concert in Central Park? Now I am so pissed off at myself falling for the “plandemic” and getting microchipped like that.

  15. StonedRanger says

    Please let us know who this shitstain is so we know who to direct our derision and laughter at. Its not like he wants to be anonymous.

  16. PaulBC says

    birgerjohansson@19 Do you mean Mary Edwards Walker? (I hadn’t heard of her before searching now) It looks like it was rescinded because she was a civilian, though there’s no question Woodrow Wilson was incredibly racist for his time.

  17. mastmaker says

    Wait! So, all the 5G that we have deployed over the last 2 years is all sham? My employer is criminally wrong for boasting the largest (by far) 5G network in the US? The TRUE 5G is going to be ‘turned on’ on Jan. 5th? My life is a lie!

  18. whheydt says

    I love specific predictions. Especially ones that are supposed to happen SOON. With this one, on Jan. 6, we can all point and laugh.

  19. Nemo says

    @simonhadley #12: Oh, so Piers Corbyn is an actual person. I saw the name on Twitter the other day but figured it was just some grotesque mash-up of Piers Morgan and Jeremy Corbyn. (But actually it’s Jeremy’s brother. Sad.)

  20. davidc1 says

    @12 Titheads,everyone of them.
    @26 Jimmy Carter had his Billy,Jeremy has his Piers.
    And in other news,ted cruz ranted on about Washington State,when in fact it was Western Australia that are introducing
    NYE party restrictions.

  21. robro says

    Nothing to do with vaccinations, but there is apparently a plan for AT&T and Verizon to “activate 5G cellular services” on January 5th. I also thought 5G was already activated, but what do I know. There’s concern that this could pose a safety problem for airplanes as reported in Forbes on 12/15: 5G Rollout Could Disrupt Domestic Air Travel Within Weeks. MSN.com is reporting that Airbus and Boing are asking for a delay. Neither Forbes nor MSN are noted for fielding wild conspiracy theories, and as noted, this has nothing to do with vaccines but avionics. According to the article, the 5G cellular service could disrupt radio altimeters. The FAA “issued an ‘airworthiness directive’ earlier this month requiring that commercial and commuter aircraft cease relying on radio altimeters when operating in the presence of 5G interference.” I suppose the concern is it will take time to deploy alternatives.

  22. raven says

    Even admitting that gunning down fleeing women and children was a crime is too much for them to acknowledge.


    I’m old enough to remember the My Lai massacre. Over 500 unarmed civilians, mostly women, children, and old people were slaughtered during the Vietnam War for no good reason.
    Nothing much ever happened to any of the US soldiers involved. One guy was court martialed and then pardoned by Richard Nixon.

    Then again, an estimated 1 million Vietnamese died in that war, we still lost any way, and it was all one atrocity.

  23. birgerjohansson says

    PaulBC @ 23
    You are correct.
    Räven @ 32
    Let us not forget the invasions of Laos and Cambodia which resulted in those countries ultimately getting ruled by communist dictatorships.
    In Cambodia this led to a holocaust of 1.5 million people.
    When the Khmer Rouge were toppled by Vietnamese forces they started to received western aid including land mines manufactured in Britain.
    After the peace, Washington consistently opposed a thorough Investigation of the genocide perpetuated by the Khmer Rouge against its own people.

  24. mandrake says

    Makes me think that humankind might be better off without any alphabet or numerical system at all. But then how would Apple differentiate between successive models?

  25. mastmaker says

    @31 keinsignal – It was even earlier than last Jan 5: Real answer will play even more into the hands of conspiracy theorists: From https://timelines.issarice.com/wiki/Timeline_of_5G

    [Dec 3rd 2019] T-Mobile launches 600MHz 5G in the United States, becoming the first American carrier to offer 5G access across the country. The network is expected to cover more than 200 million people and more than 1 million square miles. The company is expected to add mid-band spectrum for broad coverage and performance as well as millimeter wave spectrum for hotspot-like coverage in dense urban areas.

  26. birgerjohansson says

    I am still waiting for the Umbrella Corporation to get its shit together and wipe out humanity.
    (I did NOT like the films. Too stupid)

  27. birgerjohansson says

    Warren Ellis’ latest (“The Wild Storm” 1-4, DC Comics) is at least stylish, with its two competing human super- conspiracies (Stormwatch and IO) plus two alien species plotting, plus the gang from The Authority playing murder and sabotaging the assholes.

    The real-life conspiracy theorists are so goddamn boring with their 5G towers, Catholic orders and their Jews.

  28. tuatara says

    @36 mastmaker
    @30 robro
    It is not 5G that is the problem that Boeing and Airbus are worried about.
    Emphasis mine…

    The aviation industry contends that the wireless spectrum used by 5G networks could interfere with radio altimeters, which measure a plane’s altitude. “The issue is that the c-band frequency used for 5G in the US is a little bit close to the frequencies used by altimeters,” explains Roslyn Layton, vice president at telecoms consultancy Strand Consult.
    This is a problem, Layton says, because there are few rules governing which parts of the spectrum that altimeters can use. This leads to the potential for conflicts with 5G, particularly when it comes to older devices.

    C-band, which sits between the 3.4ghz and 4.2ghz frequencies on the wireless spectrum, is in demand among 5G operators because it offers a good balance of bandwidth and reliability. In February, US operators Verizon and AT&T spent almost $70bn buying the rights to c-band spectrum for their own 5G networks. This was due to come into use earlier this month, but was delayed following a bulletin released by US aviation regulator the Federal Aviation Administration, which warned that “action might be required to address potential interference with sensitive aircraft electronics” caused by 5G.

    It looks to me a regulatory minefield is being navigated by competing industries, with the aviation industry somewhat letting their side down.

    Here in Australia c-band frequencies are not slated for 5G use by the telecoms industry. We use different frequencies here for 5G so the issue with radio altimeters is mostly for the USA to deal with.

    January 5, 2022 is the date that the c-band 5G from AT&T and Verizon goes live (apparently). 5G has been active for a while already on other frequencies, such as the 600MHz band that could penetrate further into the skin to activate the vaccine tracking chip and/or murderous routine of the nanobots. But since when is science referred to by these conspiracy fuckwits?

  29. PaulBC says

    birgerjohansson@40 Well if we’re allowed to post off-topic happy music, my selection is La Lupe’s 1969 Latin Soul cover of The Doors Touch Me. I don’t know how I made it to this advanced age before discovering a recording that came out when I was 4 years old, but it’s now the “real” version to me. La Lupe rescues an ecstatic love declaration from the brooding Doors sound. It’s just a completely different song.

  30. birgerjohansson says

    PaulBC @ 42
    Me like. I don’t think I have heard that cover ever.
    And now I will cheerfully rack up debts the next four days, knowing Armageddon will prevent me from having to pay up. It is like Groundhog Day, no consequences*.

    is this how Republicans think all the time? Stupid question!

  31. birgerjohansson says

    Quick, tell the anti-vaxxers they can safely throw stones at the windows of police stations on January 4th, the authorities will have other things to worry about the day after.

  32. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Tangentially 5G is the reason 3G towers are being torn down, leaving people using older 3G-only flip phones cut off from phone service.
    Who knew COVID had control of Verizon and AT&T to make them install 5G to kill everyone vaccinated against COVID?
    hmmm, COVID kills, and being vaccinated will kill you by radio?
    COVID is pretty stupid to kill everyone, What will COVID do then?
    Viruses can remain inanimate for centuries for the next batch of life to come along, That’s the plan.
    WTF is it with these less-than-sane people throwing out these nonsensical assertions? COVID side-effect?

  33. angoratrilobite says

    I just don’t get this. Why is 5G such a focal point for these people? Why would only the vaccinated be affected? Is he implying this is some kind of deliberate attack? What would be the point?

    Ugh. So many questions. This dude makes no sense.

  34. whheydt says

    Re: slithey tove @ #45…
    I ran into that problem. My provider is not only dropping 3G, but the plan I was on, as well ($20 every 90 days). My solution was to get a new ($30) phone and a new provider (I went with $100 for a year, with 1200 minutes…vastly more than I’ll use).

  35. ffakr says

    @46 angoratrilobite, I think 5G is just the latest revision of a never-ending series of conspiracy theories about RF, and technology in general. I have a feeling there was the same concern about 3G.. but it wasn’t rolled out during a pandemic that’s cranked up the nuts to 11. Remember maybe 10-15 years ago when a good portion of the citizenry was convinced that cell phones caused brain cancer and a litany of other health problems?

    And I think we might have to wait till later than the 6th to point and laugh…
    The Feds apparently sent a letter to AT&T this past Friday, asking them to delay throwing the switch on C-band for another couple weeks. https://www.reuters.com/business/aerospace-defense/us-officials-ask-att-verizon-delay-5g-wireless-over-aviation-safety-concerns-2021-12-31/

    I’ll be interested to hear if the cranks take this delay.. if it happens.. as proof that they’re right though, because that would imply that the Federal Government wasn’t involved in a conspiracy.. and that seems like a stretch for conspiracy theorists.
    I suppose, in retrospect.. when all us vac’ed sheeple don’t fall over dead.. it’ll be better to claim they were right all along but maybe their heroic efforts compelled the Evil Feds to call off the plan. That seems less embarrassing than admitting they were just delusional.
    Maybe.. Buttigieg is going to turn out to be a Double-secret-Deep State operative.. allied with the deep state (DS2) that operates inside the deep state (DS1). Maybe DS2 is working undermine DS1’s efforts to undermine whomever they’re trying to undermine.
    Maybe it’s actually Deep States all the way down! Perhaps a fractal of States,.. as it were.

    .. it all seems so obvious in retrospect, doesn’t it?!?

  36. says

    Again? According to German anti-vaxxers I already dropped dead back in September, making this the first Halloween when millions of undead people roamed the streets…

  37. cag says

    As I type this, in much of the world it is already January 6. I guess that is why I have this craving for Braiiiiiiins.

  38. PaulBC says

    cag@51 I’m on the West Coast, so I guess I have until 9PM before President Zombie Trump is sworn in.

  39. KG says

    A strange absence of reports today of vaccinated sheeple dropping dead. Obviously, the MSM is covering it up!