1. cartomancer says

    You reckon without the rare European Professorial Spider – Steatoda Academica – which teaches architecture and culinary science at various seats of arthropod higher learning. In the waning days of Autumn it spins itself a protective bower, where it goes to grade papers until it dies of exhaustion or one of its unhappy students gets in and eats it. That is, of course, a death sentence for the student too, because it then becomes the Professor and the cycle of life renews.

  2. cartomancer says

    They are on the verge of extinction in the US, however, thanks to unsustainable and growing numbers of their most voracious natural predator – the Administrator Wasp.

  3. birgerjohansson says

    I recommend the Sidney wossname funnel web spider, the most venomous of all Australian spiders.
    Failing that, become a Black mamba.
    För 2-century lifespan, become a bowhead whale.
    Best of all: mutant bowhead whale with Australian spider venom.

  4. davidc1 says

    You could become a Ninja spider,and bite all the batshitcrazy wackaloons that are plaguing the world.
    Only drawback,you have to get up close and personal with the likes of The Snatch Snatcher,and that twat faced twat johnson .
    Are you up for it?