The Freezer of the Damned

Uh-oh. Apparently, I’ve been storing Satan in my freezer.

Conservative cable network Newsmax has sidelined White House correspondent Emerald Robinson after she made the utterly bonkers claim that COVID-19 vaccines contain a “bioluminescent” tracker linked to the Devil.

In a post that has since been taken down by Twitter for peddling COVID-19 misinformation, Robinson warned “Christians” that the vaccines include “a bioluminescent marker called LUCIFERASE so that you can be tracked,” all while suggesting to her followers that the shot was the “Mark of the Beast”—something she’s said before.

What do you know…someone who is just too batty for Newsmax.

A little more information:

  • There is no luciferase in the vaccines. That would be silly and pointless, since no, you can’t use it to track people.
  • Luciferase is an enzyme that reacts with a couple of common substrates to make light. If you want to make cells glow, you inject them with it, or in many cases you insert the luciferase DNA into the genome, and you get a cell that produces light, which is handy…if you are tracking its expression in a microscope.

  • I’ve also got some Lucifer Yellow in my freezer. This is not an enzyme — the compound actually glows bright yellow under fluorescent light. Likewise, I’ve used it for looking at cells, not people.

  • Do you even know how much this stuff costs? Last time I bought it, LY was about $600 for a vial containing 100mg. You’re not going to throw it into a dose of vaccines.

I have several other dyes in my freezer. 1,1′-Dioctadecyl-3,3,3′,3′-Tetramethylindocarbocyanine Perchlorate (DiI, for short) is a favorite, but who knows, it might be the name of some other Lord of Hell.


  1. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    They may also be dismayed to find out that early Pink Floyd albums may contain LUCIFERSAM (siam cat!).

    And to tie it in with an earlier post, Jennifer Gentle… you’re a Communist witch!

    /syd barrett’d

  2. raven says

    Emerald Robinson isn’t too bright or educated.

    If you inject the enzyme luciferase (which comes from fireflies and other bioluminescent organisms), nothing much will happen. It requires the cofactor luciferin plus ATP and oxygen.
    Without the luciferin small molecule cofactor, nothing happens.

    Also, the enzyme itself won’t last long injected into humans. As a protein it just gets turned over in a few hours or days.
    It won’t work as a tracker.
    Neither will the vaccine injection.

    And oh yeah, the enzyme luciferase isn’t even in any of the vaccines since it would be a pointless addition.

  3. davidc1 says

    My earlier post about America being cursed is starting to sound
    more likely by the hour.

  4. Frederic Bourgault-Christie says

    But it’s the left that is paranoid and hysterical and can’t take a joke, right?

  5. says

    I’m just waiting for someone even more extreme than Robinson to create a conspiracy theory linking luciferase, blinking GIFs, and The Lord of the Flies to the current centrist Democratic Party platform, perhaps shrieking about how luciferase’s power and stability are purportedly enhanced as an L stereoisomer (that is, from the left)…

    … and start a whole Reddit topic devoted to this theory. With fundraising ads. While entirely neglecting that many urinalysis systems for detecting the Evil That Be Drugs depend upon bioluminiscent trackers that attach to metabolites (a “marijuana test” that is actually looking for 9-nor-delta-tetrahydrocannabinate, a urinary byproduct of metabolizing THC).

  6. davidc1 says

    Stop Press ,them dimwits who gathered at Dallas ,now think JFK is a member of the rolling stones ,only he is disguised as ,wait for it ,wait for it ,
    Keith Richards .

  7. PaulBC says

    I’ve also got some Lucifer Yellow in my freezer.

    That’s nothing. I have… Lucifer Bloody Morningstar in my freezer. It’s a chest freezer we bought at Home Depot in an emergency, since the regular one broke at a time when all the appliances were back-ordered due to pandemic supply chain issues. You have to remove the hanging baskets, and It takes a bit of folding besides, but what can you do? The price of keeping Satan imprisoned in your garage.

    (Sorry, there was no point at all to that tirade. I just like saying “Lucifer Bloody Morningstar.” It is mostly untrue. We do have the freezer though, and use it for more mundane purposes.)

  8. lumipuna says

    Mark of the Beast = anything and everything, apparently

    the Beast of Mark = a winged lion

    The Lion of Saint Mark, representing Mark the Evangelist, pictured in the form of a winged lion, is an aspect of the Tetramorph. On the pinnacle of St Mark’s Cathedral he is depicted as holding a Bible, and surmounting a golden lion which is the symbol of the city of Venice and formerly of the Venetian Republic.

  9. says

    I guess it’s too much for them know that lucifer means (from Latin) “light bearing”. Spanish luz, light is a cognate. And that’s where luciferase gets its name from.

  10. lumipuna says

    I presume the luciferase narrative was started by some attention seeker with some actual knowledge of biotechnology. They could easily pose as a scientifically authoritative “insider source” to the know-nothing conspiracy crowd, spinning a story that sounds vaguely logical and scientific. It was already widely claimed that the mRNA vaccine somehow modifies your DNA (or something like that), so why not throw in a commonly used transformation marker?

  11. says

    Nah, no knowledge required. All they do is latch onto single words or phrases in a science press release and spin it out into flagrant nonsense.

  12. robro says

    raven @ #4

    Also, the enzyme itself won’t last long injected into humans.

    That explains the multiple shots and boosters.

  13. chrislawson says

    Too delusional for Newsmax, eh? Is there an off-Broadway equivalent of the right-wing noise machine she can turn to for work?

  14. lumipuna says

    PZ wrote:

    Nah, no knowledge required.

    Well, maybe not by academic standards.

    All they do is latch onto single words or phrases in a science press release and spin it out into flagrant nonsense.

    I do find it fascinating how recent hot topic words and concepts from mainstream science reporting tend to percolate into pseudoscience and conspiracy theories, with their original meaning more or less lost.

  15. raven says

    What the fundies and this ignorant writer are doing is just stringing words together without knowing what they mean.

    Luciferase is named after the Latin word for light bearer. Wikipedia: Both words (luciferin and luciferase) are derived from the Latin word lucifer, meaning “lightbearer”, which in turn is derived from the Latin words for “light” (lux) and “to bring or carry” (ferre).

    The word also appears once in the Latin translation of the bible. It refers to an ancient Babylonian king that Isaiah doesn’t like. Due to translation issues and ignorant xians, it is sometimes used as a name for satan. Which is just wrong.

    She is using the similarity of Lucifer, the wrong name for satan, and luciferase, the firefly enzyme to imply that luciferase has something to do with satan or evil. It doesn’t. It is just an enzyme that can produce light.

    Of course, they also aren’t all that concerned about making sense or whether they are outright lying either.

  16. mandrake says

    Godless liberals just don’t know how to conspiracy right. First it was Obama giving up the game in his speech to the UN about the need for a New World Order and now we have scientists who should know better failing to rename the main ingredient in the Mark-of-the-Beast vaccine. Until we reinstall Lucifer to his rightful place at the top we’ll never achieve total world domination and that’s not gonna happen unless all liberals everywhere play from the same rule book.

  17. Ridana says

    2 Peter 1:19
    Et habemus firmiorem propheticum sermonem: cui benefacitis attendentes quasi lucernae lucenti in caliginoso loco donec dies elucescat, et lucifer oriatur in cordibus vestris:
    We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. (KJV)

  18. chrislawson says

    The etymology of ‘lucifer’ is almost certainly a translation artefact of the planet Venus into the Latin ‘lucifer’ (carrier of light), which then become muddled up as a direct name for the devil because it was being used as an analogy (a bright star that fell from heaven, much as Venus’s path through the sky appears to do). Of course, it’s a limited analogy because Venus’s path ascends the heavens just as often as it descends. I also suspect that, consciously or unconsciously, it helped that Venus was a major figure in Egyptian and Babylonian religions, so slagging off Venus had the double effect of a clever metaphor plus a slur against neighboring mythologies.

    Anyway, the point of this comment is that if Robinson is afraid of the chemical luciferase, he ought to be equally terrified by Venus sightings.

  19. says

    Lucifer is simply an old name for Venus. For obvious geometric/heliocentric reasons, Venus is only visible at dawn and dusk. The ancient Romans thought they were different objects. The Morning Star was Lucifer and the Evening Star was Ishtar. How this Lucifer got associated with Satan, The Devil, Hell, is beyond my knowledge.

  20. Bruce says

    Clearly, the Luciferase in all Covid vaccines was organized by President Trump to save everyone who gets vaccinated. After all, he is the one who came up with the idea of fighting Covid by injecting light into the body. I’d rather get a glowing shot in my arm than have a glow stick shoved up my rear end as everyone assumed Trump was thinking. But now that his clever plan is revealed. I bet JFK Jr is really bummed that he died just 22 years too soon to participate in this.
    As they used to say on “Get Smart”: “… missed it by THAT much.”

  21. ajbjasus says

    I thought lucifer was some sort of angelic being who fell out with god, and became devil.

    Hence the counterintuitive name – carrier of light becomes prince of darkness,

  22. John Morales says

    ajbjasus, it’s a bit like Nostradamus; the Biblical passage (Isaiah 14:12) is about the King of Babylon. So, a metaphorical allusion to current events, mythologised.

    BTW, not light-carrier, but light-bringer.

    (In passing, this reminds me of the laminin bullshit)

  23. birgerjohansson says

    If you open the fridge where the vaccines are stored, the drowned girl from Ring will come for you.

  24. Ray, rude-ass yankee - One inseparable gemisch says

    And here I thought, that as a politician, having an “R” after your name was the mark of the beast. I didn’t know they glowed under a microscope too.
    Learn something new every day.

  25. DanDare says

    People can be especially bad at countering this nonsense appropriately. We have a show here in Oz called Planet America. They were looking at the nonsense about the hoo ha around CRT. They had a guest on and set up two key points to clarify what it is and does it effect schools. He went into acedemic waffle mode leaving a lay audience to scratch their heads with the suggestion about schools unanswered.
    The answer should have been “its law college stuff about structural racism and its not taught in schools.”