Darn, he came back

If you blinked, you might have missed it. Jeff Bezos was shot into space for a brief suborbital visit, and has now landed safely. Cunningly, he made sure to want us to hope for a safe return, because he brought hostages — a couple of other people who haven’t spent a lifetime exploiting workers and extracting wealth from others’ labor.

Hey, remember when rich people would just buy gigantic yachts? The personal rocketship is the new substitute penis, I guess.


  1. Akira MacKenzie says

    Fuck! Couldn’t we find a skillful monkey-wrencher to sabotage his precious rocket so it goes Challenger on the way up or Columbia on way down?

  2. kestrel says

    Quote: ” The personal rocketship is the new substitute penis, I guess.”

    That sure is what it looks like.

  3. Akira MacKenzie says

    Insert pointless Austin Powers montage about Dr. Evil’s escape rocket HERE.

  4. KG says

    So the “free market” has achieved… something well short of what the USSR managed 60 years ago.

  5. Ishikiri says

    All this hoopla and they only went a bit more than half as high as Alan Shepard did in 1961.

  6. davidc1 says

    Wasn’t that twat faced twat branson in space at the same time using his own big dick toy?
    I suppose suborbital space ships could be used instead of jet airliners ,but why did those two slimy gits have to get involved in it .

  7. birgerjohansson says

    Crip Dyke @ 8
    The only good thing with this is that Wally Funk finally got to space.
    The optimal outcome would have been that the capsule crashed, and that Ms Funk survived by landing atop Jeff Bezos, inflicting very painful fractures on his bones.

  8. brightmoon says

    Substitute penis ? Read that , glanced at the picture and laughed hard for about 10 minutes straight . 🤣🤣🤣 Yep I’d say that was about right!

  9. snarkrates says

    Mon Dieu! He really is flying a fuckstick!!!
    Quick, I don’t care how much it costs. We have to buy the naming rights for that spacecraft for Hitachi!

  10. birgerjohansson says

    If rich people want to do something good with their money, let them buy back the senators that have been bought and paid for by big business. Senators get a deal where they get a million, but have to stay away from money laundered by super-PACs.

  11. Owlmirror says

    Yeah . . . I don’t think I’m mature enough to avoid the obvious.

    Someone is going to make a scale model of that out of silicone, maybe call it the Blue Climax.

  12. Ridana says

    I’m sure it’s out there somewhere, but I’ve yet to run across someone going for the low-hanging fruit that this was a race between the Virgin and the Cock Rocket, and the Virgin won.

  13. christoph says

    Did anyone here see the movie “Flesh Gordon?” It had a ship almost exactly like this one. (It’s on YouTube, but I hesitate to post a link here-NSFW)

  14. says

    But PZ, how can you argue with that poetic imagery, of a literal big prick dickhead of a man riding a literally dick-shaped rocket, only to come down too hard and too fast to really satisfy anybody? YOU CAN’T BEAT THAT SYMBOLISM!