Minnesota disappoints me


The state had a contest to name our fleet of snowplows, and the results demonstrated no creativity at all.

I’m sorry. We should be ashamed and embarrassed. Have you seen the list of Scottish snowplow names?

Amber Snowy
Arctic Angel
BFG Big Friendly Gritter
Blizzard Bear
Chilly Connolly
Darth Spreader
David Plowie
For Your Ice Only
Fred
Gangsta Granny Gritter
Grit A Bit
Grit Expectations
Gritallica
Gritney Spears
Gritter Bug
Grittest Hits
Grittie McVittie
Grittle Mix
Gritty Gonzales
Gritty Gritty Bang Bang
Han Snow-lo
I Want To Break Freeze
Ice Breaker
Ice Destroyer
Ice Queen
Jeremy Brine
Lew-Ice Capaldi
Licence To Chill
Luke Snowalker
Meltin’ John
Mr Plow
Mrs Gritter
My Name’5 Doddie
Nitty McGritty
Penelope Gritstop
Plougher O’Scotland
Polar Bear Explorer
Polar Patroller
Ready Spready Go
Rumble
Salty
Sandy The Solway Salter
Scotland’s Bravest Gritter
Sir Andy Flurry
Sir Grits A Lot
Sir Salter Scott
Slippy McGritty
Snow Bother
Snow Destroyer
Snow Dozer
Snow Trooper
Snowball
Snowbegone Kenobi
Snowkemon Go
Sophie Salt
Spready Mercury
Sprinklebell
Sprinkles
The Golden Great Gritter
The Grittiest Snowman
The Incredible Ice Bear
The Snow Buster
The Snow Solution
The Winter Explorer
True Gritter
Yes Sir Ice Can Boogie

Go back to the drawing board, MNDOT.

Comments

  1. Larry says

    Admittedly, the “Xy McXface” meme has out-lived its already meager cleverness but ‘Blade Runner”? Come on, now, how good is that? Even “No Ice” and “Plow Bunyan” are better than anything in the approved list.

  2. =8)-DX says

    X-y McX-Face should win every online naming contest ever, until they actually give in and name the things that, and we have one X-y McX-Face of each type of nameable thing, by popular demand.

  3. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Plow Bunyan is my vote.
    Seems to me very associated with Minnesota, for some reason.
    Being out of state, I doubt it matters what I think.

  4. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Mr Plow might face IP issues from [FOX Network] (not the News half), first used by Matt Groening in The Simpsons

  5. consciousness razor says

    Well, they do have “Grittie McVittie,” “Nitty McGritty,” and “Slippy McGritty.” We just need to make longer lists here, that’s all.

    I’m just thinking they should probably take a different approach in Scotland. I mean, sure, it could get rid of the snow. That part’s okay. But what are you supposed to do about it now that your roads are covered in grits? Wipe that up with some giant biscuits? Awfully wasteful, if you ask me.

  6. robro says

    “Blade Runner” suggests some cultural awareness, although it’s so old as to be passé and not particularly relevant to the task.

  7. numerobis says

    Blade Runner is from 2017, still pretty recent. (OK, and also from sometime in ancient history but whatever)

  8. blf says

    @12, “Blade Runner is from 2017”.
    Eh? The original movie is from 1982, and is based on Philip K Dick’s 1968 novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? — ah, “2017” probably refers to the first(!) sequel movie, Blade Runner 2049, which was released in 2017. (There are also some sequel novels — the latest(?) published in 2000 — authorised by Dick’s estate (Dick died in 1982).

  9. larrylyons says

    Given that it’s Minnesota, Plough Bunyan makes sense, considering its the home of the mythical Paul Bunyan (stolen from Canada of course).

  10. davidc1 says

    Seeing as there is a lot of Scandinavian folk in Minnesota ,how about a Pagan Norse god .
    My choice would be Frigga .

  11. says

    A few suggestions of mine, not seen on the list:

    ** Great Flakes
    ** Lake Snowpiercer
    ** Green Eggs And Zamboni
    ** Minneapolis 500
    ** The Politician (because they’re blowhards)
    ** Dobie Gray (you need to know your 1970s music to get that one)

  12. brightmoon says

    Dobie Gray had me cracking up ! Just as long as it’s the original not the version with Uncle Kracker

  13. oldmanxman says

    Quick assist for anyone who might be confused by one of the odder names. “My Name’5 Doddie” is a reference to a Scottish rugby player (Doddie Weir) who has Motor Neuron Disease and is raising money for research.

    He played in the second row of the scrum usually at number 5, hence the replacement of the ‘S’. Very popular player among fans, teammates and even his opposition. He put up a cup for the winner of Wales and Scotland rugby matches and has a crazy liking for loud tartan suits. So a bit too real and local to be generally humorous but probably more meaningful than the funny names.

    In his own words after being diagnosed with the presently incurable MND – “My attitude is that you should do what you can today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. This is the card I’ve been dealt so I’ve just got to crack on.”

    61 full international caps for Scotland and two tours with the B&i Lions.

    Ross

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