Urgent note to the warden

You win. I’m cracking. Don’t you know solitary confinement is a cruel punishment?

I confess to everything. I robbed that bank. I’ll tell you where I hid the money. I’ll rat out my confederates. Just let me out to the general population again. I’ll never commit another crime, cross my heart and hope to die. I’m going mad in here!

I gotta say, though, the worst trick you pulled was assigning that sadistic brute to be the prison guard. She doesn’t talk, she only makes meaningless yowling sounds, and she occasionally runs through my cell and knocks everything over. I need to get out of here.


  1. says

    Pffft, what a wuss. I haven’t had a better time in years. Slow days with no people and plenty of time to my own projects, whats not to like?

  2. says

    I don’t know what the temperatures are like up there, but if you can, go out and take a walk. It should be permitted under the lockdown rules — exercise is an exception as long as you maintain social distancing — and you’ll feel a lot better.

  3. says

    Urgh, I’m sorry for you, PZ
    You got cut off from Mary at the worst possible time. I’m on my edge and I still have the kids and Mr. I don’t know how your neighbours are, but this is what we did last Saturday: We and our neighbours had a barbecue, each on in their own garden and then we moved the tables next to the fence and had a nice time together while still maintaining a safe distance.

  4. microraptor says

    I’m doing just fine.

    Singing Warren Zevon’s Life’ll Kill Ya eleven times in a row in my underwear is a perfectly normal thing to do!

  5. wzrd1 says

    Feel happy, as ot 2000 EDT last night, we went to mandatory masks when outside and especially within any businesses. No mask, don’t get inside the door. Gotta scratch your ass in public, better have two masks.

    As for the warden, you have it easy. My last warden occasionally slipped and stepped in my mouth while I was snoring.
    There isn’t anything quite like waking up with a fuzzy foot being rapidly removed from one’s mouth and that cat clay flavor left behind.

  6. stroppy says

    @ 8
    I hate it when that happens!

    (Back paw, it’s a slip. Front paw, you’re being probed.)

  7. numerobis says

    Writing notes to the invisible sky prison warden are you? I guess it’s true then: there’s no atheists in quarantine.

  8. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Well, I am hunkered down and have my person with me, so I am lucky. We also have two new puppies that we got just before the caca hit the fan, so there is no shortage of entertainment. Also, say what you want about the ebil gummint, their telework facilities are pretty good.

  9. wzrd1 says

    @9, stroppy, well, I’ve had both. But, turnabout is fair play, when I suspected something was amiss, I poked and probed as well. Only their mouths when something potentially toxic was in them, back when they were kittens.
    Although, I do wonder if it’s a slip with that back paw or a litter box scratch, attempting to bury that morning breath.

    @11,a_ray_in_dilbert_space, as one who facilitated telework for DoD, I and my former and current peers thank you. We try our best to keep everyone up and working.
    After all, despite tired old end user jokes, without end users, we have no purpose and hence, eventually jobs.

  10. davidc1 says

    Just had to have one of my wardens put to sleep ,if someone said to me you could have Callie back but all the dickheads ,wackaloons ,RWNJs would have to die i would say yes ,sorry my heart is breaking .