Script leaked!

The script for the movie so bad Kevin Sorbo turned it down may have been leaked. I’m a little suspicious because it looks to be too competently written to be the actual document.

I laughed a few times, and I’m pretty sure if this was the real script I wouldn’t have laughed at all.


  1. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    the “tpyos” are all deliberate, eh? hard urn $$$ and only to genders
    I guess being a script, it’s all phonics anyway.

  2. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    snd being in the ’70’s who ever heard of Elon Musk?
    I know, satire don;t care about coherence

  3. cartomancer says

    I thought it was going to be a film about salmon spawning grounds getting in the way of 18th century Scottish military engineers.

  4. msm16 says

    Definitely a nomination for Best Screen play, if not an Oscar.

    Plus I am going to use the line “One murder please,” at restaurants now.

  5. raven says

    They need to put in “cultural Marxism”, “libtard”, and “atheist” somewhere.

  6. bcwebb says

    As this movie sinks into oblivion we’re back to the old joke as to whether they’ll be able to row versus wade.

  7. HappyHead says

    When I read this, I am hearing it being read out by one of those cheap text to speech translators, which makes it even better, because it’s clear the expensive text to speech computer programs would also refuse roles in the film.

  8. Owlmirror says

    Spotted in the tweet responses:

    Marcello Lanfranchi: “I’m a Millennial, so I don’t care.” Because Millennials were born in the ’70s and were self-referential back then.

    Brock Wilbur: “Are you… fact checking a joke?”

  9. waydude says

    Part of me thinks someone is trying to be clever but this looks exactly like what you get out of a Chinese script mill. Yes, it’s a thing.

  10. kevinalexander says

    “…government money..” ???
    This doesn’t make sense, real Libruls use baby murder stamps issued by deep state President Hllary.

  11. Reginald Selkirk says

    that baby could be the next elon musk

    Is that supposed to be an argument for or against aborting it?

  12. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Roe (or Wade – TBD, look up later)

    I know, I know, law nerd thing, but holy freuding freud, batman, that was just so perfect and so painful at the same time.

  13. birgerjohansson says

    Please help me. I am not an anglophone speaker, so I tend to miss references that shows if something is satire or trumpspeak (intended to be serious, but coming across as a joke).
    Please tell me it is satire.

  14. birgerjohansson says

    Crip Dyke @ 14:
    I actually got that one!
    MUST be satire. I hope.

  15. ck, the Irate Lump says

    msm16 wrote:

    Plus I am going to use the line “One murder please,” at restaurants now.

    If you do, don’t be surprised if you find yourself eating crow.

  16. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    and a lot of it.

  17. DLC says

    Back in the stone age, there was a company called Creative Labs, who made plug-in sound cards for your computer. Yes, they ate one of the expansion slots (also a thing you don’t see much of anymore) and you had to buy speakers to make it work. However, they also packed with their sound card a little program called Dr Sbaitso. It was a semi AI that would talk back to things you typed at it. But, this article reminded me of that program because it would comically mispronounce words much in the way this “Script” misuses words.