1. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Yes, the election results were rigged to make you think you won, to see how you’d handle the burden of such a weighty office.
    You passed.
    Time to vacate the experiment to the next subject to torment.
    Election results were all alternative-fact.

    if only… so true (literally true, not alternatively true)
    If that actually was the case, it would be excessively cruel to foist upon such a delusional snowflake. tsk tsk.

  2. Usernames! (╯°□°)╯︵ ʎuʎbosıɯ says

    I’m sorry, but your experiment will not work.

    Here is why it will not work:

    [x] The NIEHS Institutional Review Board (IRB) will not approve your testing protocol(s) due to some questionable items

    [x] Unethical violation of the principles outlined in the Belmont Report

    In particular, the following are violated:

    Part B: Basic Ethical Principles

    1. Respect for Persons.

    : requirement to protect those with diminished autonomy

    “However, not every human being is capable of self-determination. The capacity for self-determination matures during an individual’s life, and some individuals lose this capacity wholly or in part because of illness, mental disability, or circumstances that severely restrict liberty. Respect for the immature and the incapacitated may require protecting them as they mature or while they are incapacitated.”


    Part C: Applications

    1. Informed Consent. — Respect for persons requires that subjects, to the degree that they are capable, be given the opportunity to choose what shall or shall not happen to them.


    Because the subject’s ability to understand is a function of intelligence, rationality, maturity and language, it is necessary to adapt the presentation of the information to the subject’s capacities.


    2. Assessment of Risks and Benefits. — The assessment of risks and benefits requires a careful arrayal of relevant data, including, in some cases, alternative ways of obtaining the benefits sought in the research.

    [x] Your research subject is not mature enough to have sufficient autonomy

    [x] Your research subject is not capable of providing informed consent

    [x] You have not provided sufficient information about your experiment for your subject to understand it. Your subject requires information delivered in the form of (no more than 2 consecutive) tweets and/or a 3-minute (or less) cartoon.

    [x] Your experiment risks the health and safety of nearly everyone on the planet (99.999%) should your subject get out of control, and there are insufficient safeguards to prevent the subject from harming itself or others.

  3. embraceyourinnercrone says

    Some what OT but important:

    “Then suddenly on Wednesday afternoon, Kennedy and three of his top officials resigned unexpectedly, four State Department officials confirmed. Assistant Secretary of State for Administration Joyce Anne Barr, Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs Michele Bond and Ambassador Gentry O. Smith, director of the Office of Foreign Missions, followed him out the door. All are career foreign service officers who have served under both Republican and Democratic administrations.”

  4. johnlee says

    I had a feeling there was something happening along these lines. In a few moments I’m going to wake up and find it’s all just been a bad dream. Donald Trump President? Hahahahahahaha! Of course not. I must have eaten too much cheese last night…

  5. unclefrogy says

    this feels like the prologue for a William Gibson novel
    next stop sprawl city !
    uncle frogy

  6. says

    I still think it’s a joke from one of those 80’s movies set in the “future.” Maybe Robocop, or Back To The Future II, or, I don’t know, Holmes & YoYo.
    It’s just not very funny.
    Or maybe one of those time travel deals where somebody went back and stepped on a butterfly, and when we got back everything was spelled weird and the wrong guy is president.
    This future sucks.

  7. davidc1 says

    The snatch snatcher might pretend to believe it ,just so he could have an excuse to quit .

  8. marcoli says

    Gary Larson was brilliant. I have this big book of his cartoons, along with commentary about them. Gary says that in the original version the poor sap is basically told off at the end… ‘time to go home, you jerk!’, or something like that, but his editor did not like that so he softened the ending to what we see here.

  9. davidc1 says

    My fav one is the one that shows a group of cows with milking equipment heading up to the farm house in the dead of night .
    The punch line is
    “The next morning the police found a scene which they described as grisly ,yet strangely hilarious”

  10. peterdf says

    Bizarrrrre! But as bizarre as an orange, sociopathic, narcissistic sex pest getting elected president of the US, maybe not.