I shoulda gone to the Ark Park today #OhNoahHeDidnt

I didn’t attach any importance at all to the opening day of Ken Ham’s Ark Park, but maybe I should have — all the photos I’m seeing are of nearly empty spaces, with more protesters than creationist attendees, so it may not be around all that long. I’ll still definitely try to make a trip out there at some time, and now maybe I’ll have to attach a little more urgency to it.

But, you see, today I had other, better things to do.

I got a root canal. Seriously.


  1. says

    I can’t even care about it. Right now, that pathetic thing isn’t even relevant. In a perfect world, it will be closed and Hamm will be forced to repay the tax payers whose money he stole to build it, but whatever.

  2. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I got a root canal. Seriously.

    The pain of that will eventually stop. Been there, done that a few times.
    The pain of the Kentucky monstrosity will endure until Ham’s imaginary deity sends a tornado to clean out Louisville for reasons, and misses by their usual margin and rips up the ark park, thinking its just an oversized trailer park.

  3. DonDueed says

    In my experience, root canals aren’t nearly as bad as some folks make them out to be. In every case (I’ve had about five, I think) the relief of the pain from the bad tooth far outweighed the temporary discomfort of the root canal procedure.

    Hope you find that holds true for you, PZ.

  4. raven says

    !. I have no idea whether it will last and make money or not.
    I’m not really up on Kentucky and Kentucky fundies these days. Then again, I never was anyway.

    2. Like a lot of scams, it is set up so that some people will make lots of money whether it succeeds or fails. Including probably, besides Ham’s mob, a lot of local business people and politicians. As usual. follow the money.

    There are a lot of improvements including a multi-million dollar highway interchange that will be funded by the state of Kentucky. Those are worth a lot.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually put up a bunch of condos.

  5. moarscienceplz says

    the Ark Encounter welcomed more than 4,000 visitors by mid-afternoon Thursday, its first day open to the public, and officials expected many more before the ark closed at midnight.

    Link here
    I seriously doubt they got many more to add to the 4000. If you want to go to opening day of something, I think you would make the effort to get there as early in the morning as possible. So, probably fewer than 5000 visitors on opening day, and I can only expect that figure will go lower and lower as time goes on.
    I also find it amusing that they are offering 2 day “ark” passes and 7 day “ark” + “museum” passes. Can there be anyone in the world who would want to spend multiple days there?

  6. emergence says

    Hey PZ, didn’t you mention how fewer and fewer people are visiting the creation museum and AIG is operating at a loss? If creationism is still fairly prominent in the US, why do you think that these big expensive attractions aren’t more popular?

  7. moarscienceplz says

    BTW, for comparison the Monterey Bay Aquarium which has been in operation for 30 years and which will give you scientifically valid facts about living organisms, averages 5000 visitors per day.

  8. stripeycat says

    I remember that sort of number of people queueing at midnight for Harry Potter books in Oxford back in the day. More than that on a sunny day in the parks. Heck, some of the better buskers might have attracted more attention than that – one particular lady with a hammer dulcimer used to draw crowds of a couple of hundred for each set. You don’t need to be a particularly impressive amateur show to sell 4,000 tickets for a week’s run. Sheesh!

  9. Matrim says


    While I obviously don’t know, I’m going to guess that it’s probably several factors. First and foremost, nothing really changes. At real museums there are new exhibits that rotate in. At real amusement parks there are new rides (and the old ones can still be thrilling). With stuff like this, once you’ve seen the big boat, that’s about it. Nothing changes. There aren’t really new discoveries. Same shit, different day. This repeats are lower. Additionally, factors like the increased cost of travel, the decreasing purchasing power of the middle class, and other economic issues make people less likely to vacation. Plus even among Christians, Ham’s brand of Creationism isn’t the majority of believers.

  10. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    re 9:
    yes, … but …
    With such a limited few animals in residence on The (faux)Ark: rotate in new sets of animals = profit (return visits by plebes).

  11. jacksprocket says

    Root canal? Just square it.

    Reminds me of my Dad’s story about Noah on Mount Arafat, leaving the Ark. Elephants! Go forth and multiply! Giraffes, go forth and multiply! Gorillas… you get the scenario. After a long trek down the Great Chain of Being, he mumbles, Snakes, go forth and multilply. We can’t, answer the snakes, we’re adders. Oh Shittim Wood, says Noah.. look, I haven’t got time to deal with you now, go and wait by those fallen trees, and I’ll sort it out later. Newts, go forth and multiply. Toads…. flies, go forth… finally, amoebas, GFAM, phew that’s that done. Time for a whiskey… oh Boanerges, those snakes. So he drags himself over to the old trees… and there are the snakes, both of them happily tending a clutch of eggs. Verily, WTF? saith Noah, I thought you couldn’t multiply because you were adders? And replied the snakes, We did it by logs.

  12. robro says

    Best to you, PZ. Root canals may not be the worst thing in the world, but they are truly bad enough. May you feel spiffy soon.

    As for Ham’s boondoggle, may it enjoy all the success it deserves. I’m sure he’s got his cut already.

    jacksprocket — Funny joke, but that was Mount Ararat. Arafat was the PLO guy.

  13. says

    I’m actually pretty comfortable in the dentist’s office. There were a few twinges as he ran the files up and down the nerve canal, and there was a surprise when he found four roots instead of 3 (and that fourth root went down and curved at right angles, which was kind of cool) but otherwise, not bad. Main difficulty is now, as the anesthetic wears off, and my jaw feels like I went a few rounds.

  14. Akira MacKenzie says

    I remember my first root canal. Compared to the agonizing pain that the abscessed tooth I had at the time was giving me, the numbed pricking’s and filing was worth the sweet relief.

  15. says

    Not sure why it is considered novel. There are numerous arks along U.S. roadsides. Here, courtesy of Google Streetview, is the one closest to us: The His Place Community Church’s ark in Burlington, Washington, 70 miles north of Seattle:

    It was supposed to be the big feature of the church, but looking on their website one sees that they don’t talk about it much these days.

  16. magistramarla says

    You can be sure that Ham will make deals with churches, which will bring busloads of rubes to be fleeced.

  17. Rob says

    When the park goes broke could the Ark be converted into apartments for the homeless/less fortunate? At least it would do some good…

  18. rietpluim says

    If the Flood was happening today, I doubt Ham would risk his life on the stupid thing. Lucky for him, God already promised never to flood us again, otherwise Ham wouldn’t have dared to build the thing in the first place. He would have built a real boat.

  19. parrothead says

    $40 per person for this “adventure”. The made up crap in there with regards to crap removal, ventilation, etc. is hilarious.

  20. Mrdead Inmypocket says

    Some footage of AronRa outside the ark arguing with some creationists.

    Footage HERE

  21. Karen Locke says

    @jacksprocket # 11, you absolutely made me laugh out loud. Thank you, I needed that today. I am old enough to have actually done conversion to logs to implement a multiply in electronic hardware, because at the time multiplier chips were too slow. That was seriously back in the days of castles and dragons…

    P.Z., if you don’t have Tylenol and codeine or Vicodin, get on the horn to your dentist and demand some! My experience is that it takes no more than two days for the pain to calm down, so you don’t need a lot of pills. But those first two days can be really unpleasant. Take just enough of the meds to blunt the pain; for some people that can be half a tablet. Then you can stay functional.

  22. says

    I’ve got the usual over-the-counter pain medication. I can cope.

    Although last night I woke suddenly from a nightmare at 2am — I dreamed a bear was clawing my face off, and had ripped open my right cheek. It was very vivid. I think the pain in my face (which is definitely not as bad as getting mauled by a bear!) contributed.

  23. says

    Uh-oh. It was bad this morning, so I broke down and took a Vike instead of the ibuprofen.

    I be trippin’, gang. And I went off on my morning walk, so I’m far from home feeling a bit woozy.

    Should be fun.