All right, we’re done here now

Fox News is self-parodying. Look at who they brought on to give an informed opinion on radical Islam.


I guess, to be honest, he would be an expert on odious and regressive religious views that poison an entire culture and foment hatred.

Sean Hannity, that is. Phil Robertson just has the right patriarchal look.

In case you’re wondering what the duck-call mogul said, it was Convert them or kill them. Nuance!


  1. boadinum says

    Does he try to convert the ducks before he kills them? I know I’d rather be killed than forcibly converted.

    What a thuggish, horrible family.

  2. says

    Hmm, a guy with a sort of turban and a big, long beard who spews bigoted religious based bullshit. You’d think they’d be worried he’s actually a jihadi in disguise, trying to discredit Fox and Christianity.

  3. scienceavenger says

    What’s next, having Oliver North on to discuss political corruption? Wait a minute…

  4. Gregory Greenwood says

    Soooo… here we have a discussion of the actions of a movement of religious extremists advocating global genocide, and Faux News brings on… a religious extremist advocating global genocide, just in the name of a marginally different flavour of imaginary sky fairy. Frankly, I really don’t see much clear water between this arsehat and the islamic state thugs, other than the fact that he mostly fantasises about killing people who disagree with him, whereas they have reached the point of actually doing it. Give Robertson the ordinance and power base to start murdering people who don’t share his delusions with relative impunity, and I consider it very likely that he would enact his own modern day crusade and/or inquisition without a shred of remorse.

    If the US wants to claim to be in the business of protecting the world from violent fanatics by means of airstrikes (which is totally going to be effective, dontcha know), surely Faux News headquaters should be on their target list?

  5. says

    By the way, Phil of duckshit, your “solution” to the ISIS problem is exactly the same as their “solution” to people opposing them: “Convert or die!”

  6. tbtabby says


    But it’s okay if WE do it, because we’re the good guys! Wasn’t it Nietzsche who said “He who fights monsters is automatically justified in everything they do, no matter how brutal or cruel?” JESUS ACKBAR!

  7. John Horstman says

    I swear I’ve seen this sketch before; can the original performers sue FOX for copyright violation in stealing the bit?

  8. Richard Smith says

    Other Fox commentators had choice words to say about Phil Robertson…

    Brian Kilmeade said, “If you really don’t, no longer want to look like a member of the Taliban, you don’t have to look like a member of the Taliban. Are you out of razors?”

    Laura Ingraham remarked, “If he wasn’t so light-skinned, he actually looks like the terrorists.”

    Oh, sorry, they were talking about Bob Bergdahl… Nevermind.

  9. Amphiox says

    Forcible conversion being one of the stereotypes of Islam these Christian Islamophobes always used to bring up when attacking Muslims….

  10. smhll says

    When I clicked through to the picture, I LOL’d. (And I like a man with a beard, though I like short beards the best.)

  11. nomadiq says

    So I find myself feeling 14 years old again listening to my parents have an irrational and emotionally based argument and all I want is to leave home… but I can’t.

    Never before have the words “Stop the planet, I want to get off” been so true.

  12. Saad says

    I just love how he looks.

    The beautiful irony of it all is that he doesn’t realize how similar he is to them. If you make a chart, his views and their views would match up perfectly on every category except for “How was Jesus related to God”.

  13. Anri says

    What’s truly frightening is that this isn’t in fact parody. This is a shrewd decision to reach out to a core demographic with someone they actually would – and do – accept as a legitimate authority figure.
    It is possible, I suppose, that were I to head on over to the Fox comment area, I wouldn’t see a large number of comments along the lines of “I’d vote for this guy over Obama!” and “This guy has more common sense about the Middle East that all of Washington!” and “Finally some straight talk on this issue!”…

    …would anyone here take that bet?

    I haven’t looked, so I don’t really know, and I could be very very wrong.
    But I bet I’m not.

  14. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    The important thing is he had an onion on his belt… which was the style at the time.

  15. tiko says

    I think I might have accidently converted to christianity.I clicked ‘read more’ and saw that picture and said ‘jesus christ’.Maybe I was just shocked at Fox News stupidity but surely that’s impossible.

  16. nomadiq says


    Almost destroyed my computer by trying to dissolve it in coffee after reading your comment!

  17. gussnarp says

    @scienceavenger #3 – Hey, at least Ollie’s actually an expert on political corruption. It’s almost like an admission of guilt to bring him on as an expert.

    But Robertson? What is even the point? An evangelical preacher (or is that the other one?) and duck hunter who made a fortune selling duck calls and then got a crappy reality show has an opinion on radical Islam worth elevating to national cable news? As opposed to the opinions of all the actual subject matter experts out there? Maybe they’ll get John Hagee up there next.

  18. gussnarp says

    Fuck, I had to go and watch it. What a pile of racist tripe. Robertson’s “convert them or kill them (and i think it’s too late for the first one)” is not worse than Hannity’s prompt: “What can we do with these people if they want to be at war with us? Most people want peace, just to be left alone, but they aren’t going to leave us alone, they aren’t going to leave Israel alone.”

    Just a quick check, ISIS may want to take on Israel at some point, I don’t know, but have they? Seems like they’ve been pretty preoccupied in Iraq and Syria thus far. So who is this “they”? I don’t think it’s ISIS. I don’t think it’s ISIS and Al Qaeda. I don’t think it’s ISIS, Al Qaeda, and Hamas. These people are saying we have to kill them all. Holy war until there’s no one left but us.

    Does FOX still claim to be legitimate journalism, or have they admitted they’re just right wing shock jocks? The whole thing was just disgusting.

  19. Kevin Kehres says

    I’m pretty sure ISIS won’t be going after Israel in any meaningful way. Israel has already shown that it’s perfectly capable of returning aggression with superior aggression time and again. Even when the provocation might be niggling and minor in some eyes.

    And it has nukes.

    These guys want to establish a caliphate — not incinerate. One well-placed bomb and “FOOM”, there goes that dream.

  20. ck says

    janiceintoronto wrote:

    That’s just the craziest goddamn thing in the world.

    Not crazy. Evil. He’s most likely quite sane, but twisted by ideology and malevolent.

  21. A. R says

    If they wanted someone to talk about Islam who would clearly side with their “bomb them all” approach, they could have at least brought in Ayaan Hirsi Ali…

  22. says

    This man is clearly either mentally ill or dumb as a stump or both. Why oh why do people think fox news is real news? It’s kind of a modest version of the hosts from the hunger games. I just see there interviews to be the antithesis of good journalism. I’m amazed that they cannot see the similarities in the level zealotry and hatred they spew and that of those who appose there views on mostly metaphysical claims. I don’t understand how airing “kill them all” is not seeing as fox news instigating violence and beating the drum for genocide. I cannot imagine a life as fearful and ignorant as a “informed” fox news watcher!

  23. toska says

    I am mentally ill. It doesn’t give me a deficit of intellect or empathy. Please don’t conflate mental illness with hateful and ignorant views.

  24. ck says

    No, he’s (probably) not mentally ill either. He’s just an twisted fuck who thinks his religion is supreme over the lives of others, because that’s exactly what his religion teaches. Beat him down on that basis, rather than slandering those who have nothing to do with this.

  25. chigau (違う) says

    I think that there is a very good chance that he’s doing it for the money.
    Is that crazy?

  26. Ichthyic says

    Why oh why do people think fox news is real news?

    Why did Orwell feel a pressing need to write “1984”?

    same question, really.

  27. says

    John Taylor @ 25:

    This man is clearly either mentally ill

    No, he is not clearly mentally ill. That’s othering and ableism, and neither one is remotely helpful. A whole lot of people are walking around with very ugly opinions and beliefs. Co-workers, friends, acquaintances, neighbours, every day people. Realizing that helps people to combat such ugly opinions and beliefs. Simply slapping a label on someone does not help.

  28. Ichthyic says

    I think that there is a very good chance that he’s doing it for the money.
    Is that crazy?

    not at all. Chuckleheads like Duck Dodger there really do think the shock value of their schtick is all just for publicity and entertainment value. They really do believe people just overreact to the things they say. They don’t consider the reaction to what they say to be any more meaningful than the reaction to Murphy Brown as a fictional character.

    they really ARE that detached from reality, and they deliberately choose to remain so, justifying it with their relative level of success in their acting careers.

  29. zetopan says

    I think that it is important to realize that Duck Dynasty receives about $250,000 per episode.
    That is a greater amount than their company gets from selling duck calls. Some people are
    very willing to do literally anything for large sums of money. So the entire show is rotten at
    the bottom and spoiled at the top. The same is true for many, if not all, television “reality”
    programs. Making the programs outrageous apparently draws viewers (there seems to be a
    conservation of intelligence principle involved) , which in turn draws the advertisers. Some
    advertisers are quite unconstrained with regards to ethics.

  30. bigwhale says

    But life and death hung on what the hunger games hosts said… If not the fate of the society.

  31. bigwhale says

    And someone here said it perfectly when talking about Rogers: It is not mentally I’ll or crazy to say the same stuff much of the culture is saying.

  32. says


    But Robertson? What is even the point? An evangelical preacher (or is that the other one?) and duck hunter who made a fortune selling duck calls and then got a crappy reality show has an opinion on radical Islam worth elevating to national cable news

    No, the viewer is supposed to associate this bullshit with his previous bullshit and buy the package deal. Part commercial/political spokesrolemodel. Part walking dogwhistle.