This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
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Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
Hi, dõki; Welcome In!
(Later)
Me, too.
You’d think some of ’em would be loooong past their Expiration Date—but, no; just as headbangingly embarrassing as if they were still hanging in the air before a no-doubt-appalled audience.
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rq:
Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
:P
I’m sure that you would not willingly, or knowingly harm your friends…but Their insidiousness knows no bounds.
Have you been experiencing episodes of “lost time” lately?
They have been known to frame up innocent extraterrestrials, to cover up Their sinister machinations.
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Portia:
Oh, yes…and post FB comments, too.
Blarg, indeed.
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Hi Adamvs Maximvs, sorry I don’t have the relevant nollidge myself for your question at #489 but I hope someone drops by soon with some suggestions for you.
Hi dõki ! Good to meet you – you’ve been writing some great comments!
::waves:: to Horde.
I was about to write that while the first of SonSpawn’s Two Big Auditions (the one he did yesterday) almost certainly didn’t go well enough, the second one (today) seems to have gone a bit better … when an email arrived offering him a place! Paper confirmation and details to follow, apparently. They didn’t even wait for him to get the bus all the way home! (well, practically. Actually we’d been back about twenty minutes …). We’re all feeling so flabbergasted we don’t know what to think. My head just exploded.
This is amazing and brilliant, now he can wait for the other two decisions in peace, knowing that the worst that can happen is something pretty damn good. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Now all he has to do is sign in blood for the government student loan, of course …)
Right. I’m off! – I’m heading out to attend the anti-segregation demo that Maryam and Ophelia have been telling us about; if I leave now I should get there in time for most of it – read you later!
cicely
I still don’t like that you’re insinuating that I would harm my friends. :(
opposablethumbs
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
opposablethumbs
That is fantastic news!!! *confetti&allthefireworks*
I’m so happy for the success of SonSpawn. Go thumbs*!
Have fun at the rally! And I hope it is productive. Or at least, stops the segregation in UK universities.
*A casual reference for the entire family of opposablethumbs.
doki
Welcome in.
opposablethumbs
Yay! Good for spawn!
@Adamvs:
Incognito: Secret Lives of the Brain was one that a friend really, really liked.
Pinker’s “How the mind works” is great.
Sacks’ “The man who mistook his wife for a hat” is more neuroscience-y, but popular for a reason.
“The man who tasted shapes” is by a former student of Sacks and is a truly captivating journey through synesthesia’s relationship to brain structures and processes.
“This Will Make You Smarter” had things that i loved and things that made me say, “Meh”, but it’s more than worth a read (not much about the brain here, and not as general as you might want, but psychological and scientific
“You are not so smart”/ “Mistakes were made, but not by me”: this is a pair of separate books, different authors, but tackling similar subject matter. Each is good. Neither is exactly new, so you might be able to get the pair for a reasonable price as a themed set (actually, with “This will make you smarter” you’ll get how we trip ourselves up and how we might make ourselves better all in one set)
“Women, Fire, & Dangerous Things” by Lakoff is freaking awesome, though more textbook-y than some.
That’s all I got right now.
@opposable thumbs:
CongaRats dance for SonSpawn!
*confetti&cake&sparklers! for opposablethumbs’s SonSpawn!
I am officially done with college!!
(Unless I go mad in the next few years and return for grad school.)
opposablethumbs, *confetti&chocolate&fireworks* for SonSpawn’s success.
(I’d offer *champage* as well, but don’t know if SonSpawn is old enough to drink it.)
;)
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rq, I apologize.Do you Require Vengeance?
–
Congrats, A. Noyd!
*beer*
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cicely
No, I think I’ll just watch the link and skip on the actual vengeance.
:)
A. Noyd
Congratulations!! Now to the Real World. (Because everyone knows that any kind of school is not the real world.)
Dammit, we probably should have invested in a new heating system. Too bad we didn’t (and still don’t) have the cash. :(
Congrats A.Noyd!!! :D
Congrats to OpposablethumbsSpawn and A. Noyd!
A Noyd:
Go ye forth. May ADiploma make its face shine upon you and make employers be gracious unto you.
Opposablethumbs:
Squee!
Great news about SonSpawn. Conga rats!
****
A. Noyd:
Done with college?
Fantastic!
I imagine a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Celebratory drinks all around in your honor!
A. Noyd
Congrats. It looks like I’m going back come January.
Dalillama
I’m assuming that’s good news…?
Also, you should be getting mail sometime very soon. :/ If not already.
rq
Meh. I’m going back for a second degree in CS, as I’ve got a decent foundation but no credentials. I’m honestly mostly hoping that the department will be able to put me on to some job opportunities/paid internships or the like. I did receive the mail a few days ago, and thank you again.
Dalillama:
Back to school?
I hope this opens some doors for you my friend.
Thank you so much, Giliell, rq, Dalillama, Crip Dyke, Nutmeg, cicely, Beatrice and Tony!!!!!!!! It’s such a huge relief – he only applied to three places out of the seven or so there are in the UK, because they had to be reasonably local to us (as there would be some pretty big concerns about his non-neurotypically coping with completely independent living yet – I mean, he’s getting there, hopefully, but living far away might be a bit more than he could really manage at this stage). And they had to offer a proper jazz course, not just a little snippet of a jazz elective tacked on to a fundamentally classical course. He plays other genres and loves them, but it all kind of revolves around jazz). And today was the third and last audition, and phew.
Thank you thank you thank you!!! for the thumbs and the champagne and all the conga rats, I appreciate them so very much. The rats have been allowed a sip of the champagne too, and are all dancing away like anything.
And conga rats to A. Noyd! For completing your course and surviving it all!
And all my very best wishes to Dalillama for the studies starting in January – I hope they work for you exactly as you are hoping, and bring links to paid internships and to jobs.
I went to the anti-segregation demo outside the UUK offices, and took SonSpawn plus his dad with me. It was a bit of a disappointing turnout (maybe 150 people?) but some good speakers making the points that needed to be made. The speaker from Southall Black Sisters and Maryam Namazie herself were particularly excellent, but far from the only ones (like a fool I didn’t make some kind of note of all the names, and I am so rubbish at names. Hopefully there will be a proper account on Maryam’s blog). Very glad we all went, especially SonSpawn before he becomes a student himself.
If I may, please find attached a pantechnicon full of hugs addressed to the Pharyngular Horders.
Congratulations to the SonSpawn!
—
I got an email from the nursing school. Apparently, I won a scholarship! It covers $15,000. I also need to write a thank you letter to the donor who funds the scholarship fund.
—
Today, I explained to an undergraduate what “statistically significant” means. And why if some program or another spits out a p value that is less than 0.05, but his error bars (standard error) overlap, then there’s an error in the math.
Esteleth:
WooHoo to scholarship! You deserve it.
I’m sure that is incredibly helpful.
Yay Esteleth!! Scholarships are awesome (I’ve never gotten one myself, but I hear they’re great). :)
+++
Oh yes, please, let’s have some freezing rain on top of all that snow!!
Tomorrow is going to be hell on the roads. *sigh* And the train will be running at inconvenient times and I’ll have to drive to work. First-world problems? Yes.
But the furnace has been, once again, fixed, and the house will not burn down tonight. We hope.
Thank you, Esteleth, and wow that’s fantastic news about the scholarship! Congratulations, and well-deserved champagneconfettisparklers!
I am soooooo jealous.
Goooooo, Esteleth!
Congrats to Dalillama and Esteleth!
And just in case I missed anyone’s good news, *chocolate cake* for everyone
(sadly, I don’t actually have any chocolate cake, so I’ll just enjoy this virtual one with all of you)
Congratulations Esteleth
I’m hoping to qualify for some financial aid as well.
Yay, Esteleth! I hope this was an unexpected bonus that reduces your student loan needs.
Best of luck with the additional education, Dalillama, and may it prove multiply fruitful for your future.
:)
And perhaps a bit of financial aid will (to steal a better writer’s phrase) “enable(d) [you] to have have a wolf-flap fitted so that the beast [can] come in and out without disturbing people”, before the advanced degree allows you to banish the beast from your door forever.
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Congrats on the scholarship, Esteleth!
I must say, after the runs of Bad News we get sometimes, it’s nice to have so many instances of Good News, all in the same day!
:) :) :)
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rq, last night we got freezing fog on top of our snow, which made for serious black ice problems, and making it *counting on fingers* the four-and-a-halfth day the office has been close on accounta weather. Awesome from the viewpoint of late sleeping (one of my personal favorites!), but I dread to see what the heating bill will be—especially since when we’re at work, The Husband turns the thermostat a good several degrees colder than is comfortable.
At least it doesn’t affect our paychecks.
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I wish you and indeed all the Pharyngulites could have been there too, Crip Dyke! It’s really a pity there were relatively few people. But there is a plan to get a demo going for International Women’s Day next March; I’m aiming to go and hopefully that one (and any others in between) will have a much bigger turnout.
FossilFishy speaks eloquently and truthfully once more. Bring some tissue.
So very ‘rupt and no time to fix it. Hugs and Huzzas! as needed.
Thank you Tony. Sometimes I believe what you said about me in that thread, sometimes not so much. One of the perils of trying to be aware of one’s effect in the world is knowing when you fuck it up, and unfortunately forgiving myself is a skill I’m still sadly lacking in. /enough, and more than enough, about me.
Esteleth:
One of the more disappointing things about my CS degree (for me, at least) was that it didn’t have any statistics in it at all. Or any other sort of math beyond basic not-even-101 accounting, which most of my cohort still barely passed. I’m having a hard time finding the motivation to study on my own time, now that I’ve graduated.
Also, congrats on that scholarship!
Sarah Palin speaks. Word salad, nonsense, and religious freedom ensues
____
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/10/ex-navy-chaplain-ill-shoot-right-wing-watch-readers-and-then-pray-for-your-soul/
He’s not just a disgraceful former Navy chaplain, he’s a disgraceful human being.
____
This just makes me cry. And wish that so many more people possessed a fraction of the empathy shown by the people in the Lounge:
____
From the ever growing list of WTF moments:
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/10/sword-wielding-texas-man-threatens-waitress-give-me-free-tacos-or-somebody-dies/
It is Cold.
At my place, the low temperature reached -25 C. It will probably do so again Wednesday.
And we are getting snowstorms of various sizes regularly (every 3 days). The first 8-cm one was Sunday, the next one will be tomorrow, also 8 cm, and nasty, and Saturday’s should be bigger. The GFS shows three more after that.
Thanks for the suggestions Crip Dyke. ‘You are not so smart’ and ‘Women, Fire and Dangerous Things’ look like they should do the job.
Much appreciated!
thunk:
My sympathies. I hope you’re able to keep warm as necessary.
****
Mammals Make Mima Mounds?
____
Eat your heart out Ancestry.com:
Totally cool!
http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1112922075/working-class-marriages-fall-with-job-stability-081313/
Interesting.
And sadly, so far out of my field of vision that contemplating it is pointless. Gotta get that first date, second date, etc before thoughts of marriage enter the picture. The article paints a grim picture of romantic relationships for people who do not belong to a specific class in society.
Ninjas give hugs.
Tony,
The story about that “pranked” woman made it into our news too. Poor woman. What happened to her wasn’t a prank, it was cruelty. But then again, pranks usually are just cruelty half-heartedly disguised with “I’m just joking” bullshit.
The Institute of Legal Medicine at Innsbruck (see: Tony’s last link at 539) is actually one of the places I dream of one day applying to for grad school. It’s too bad they can’t stop all the amazing research until I get there.
FossilFishy
All I can say is you are a fantastic person. A really fantastic person. And if you ever feel like talking more about yourself, feel free.
I read that comment and I was really struck by the phrase “It’s ok to have a home”. I know I have a lot of guilt (that floats up from time to time) about having more or better than other people. It’s really difficult to accept sometimes, even though by not accepting I’m being ungrateful. And then it’s just a circle of bad feelings. But see, it’s ok to have [thing]. It really is. [/ramble]
Well now. That’s a whole different kind of fingerpainting.
Loungelings in South Africa, be aware: baboons raid home in SA and rescue a teddy bear in the process.
A friend of mine recently acquired a 3D printer. Looks simple enough to manage.
Musical interlude: take a sentimental tour of Latvia. (In a tiny picture frame, I have your portrait; I have no lovelier picture in this entire world.)
More in a moment…
Just saw an ad for The Clapper
Can’t believe those are still around.
Then I was at Kate Donovan’s blog here on FtB and found some things that I liked in her latest post (go look!) but my favourite I will link to here: a look at internet linguistics. She has other great links there, like abandoned observatories and an examination of negative vs. excessive feelings, and more.
Annnyway. It’s 13 degrees in the kitchen. Silly radiators, get your act together.
@ Lynna, OM
I was looking at a website called Ancestry.com, and it rung a bell. They are somehow connected to the LDS. Do you have any dope on this lot?
(I vaguely recall that they have a perverse fascination with ancestry – in order to necrodunk.)
theophontes
Isn’t that the officially genealogy website/program of Mormons?
I think that’s the one my dad’s been using for the family genealogy project, because it has all kinds of features that other genealogy programs don’t.
Why am I never around when there’s a crop of good news posts?
Congrats to: opposablethumbs, A. Noyd, Esteleth and Dalillama . Sorry it’s late!
*grumble grumble* timezones *grumble* work *grumble*
Shameless charity plug, skip if so inclined:
I’ve been supporting a charity called Modest Needs since it was founded in 2005, by a college professor who noticed that most expenses that tank people are smaller ones that aren’t covered by other charities – your car breaks down, you can’t fix it, so you lose your job due to loss of transportation, etc. He started a charity for that with his own money (he “tithed” to it), and it’s been growing ever since. They’re in a big awareness/donor contribution campaign that they do every year, but this time they’ve finally got some data showing their effectiveness, and if they get another 1000 monthly donors, there’s a donor willing to put up a large sum to help fund their operations for next year. So if you’re looking for a place to donate a couple of bucks a month (literally; they operate based on small donor amounts for the most part), you could do a lot worse. And if you ever need a “small” expense (less than $1k) covered, try them out.
Oops, founded in 2002. I don’t do time well.
Also, sorry for the barge-in threadruptness. Congrats and then some to opposeablethumbs, A. Noyd, and esteleth on the good news, and anyone else I missed. Writing a final I have to give in 3 hours now, so other conversation will have to be later…
Hi folks
Yay for Esteleth and A. Noyd, best wishes for Dalillama.
Duh, I already spent three hours correcting letters of motivation. I should have studied to become a PE teacher. No grading.
And I don’t think my mental health is stable enough yet for reading any more comments in the vegetarian thread
Hey, Lounge.
How’s tricks?
Who? I don’t know no tricks.
Hi chigau (違う) No tricks, but there may be some hugs lying around if you need them. I’ve relatively new, pleased to make your acquaintance. Do you play a musical instrument? We seem to be predominantly bass players in here at the moment, so excuse the noise!
Why are white dress shirts for children with no lettering/pictures on them so hard to come by? And when found, so damn expensive???
Hi, bassmike.
I’m kinda old here and I don’t play any musical instrument.
Unless you count rhythmically poking the cat to make her meow.
—
rq
Why are you putting a white shirt on a child?
Wouldn’t something patterned in splotches the colours of tomato sauce and grape juice be more practical?
rq
If it is, then it’s not actually very accurate. Apparently the church is prone to tweaking them.
chigau
The necessities of christmas concerts at the daycare/kindergarten (mostly secular, partially pagan, all children) are their own kind of horror. And the teacher said white shirts are mandatory. It’s only for an hour or so… What could possibly go wrong?
Dalillama
The programming, too? I know he was using the program from there because it had all kinds of familial relationships and possibilities to enter extended families. I dunno, though. That was a few years ago, he may have found something better in the meantime.
Is it weird that a small change in my physical appearance or behavior can make me rethink and re-examine how I had been feeling about myself?
I have been wanting to dye my hair blue for a while. I did it two days ago and I have been happier with myself for it. Maybe that’s really strange, but I haven’t felt this happy about my appearance in a while. I also can say that as of today (which is my birthday), I have been a vegetarian for one month. I have not read through the comments on PZ’s post yet, so I really hope this is not a contentious thing to say. I am speaking only about what I feel is a decision that was important for me to make for myself for a variety of reasons, one of them being my health. I am not used to making decisions which positively impact my health, and it feels nice that this day coincided with my birthday.
I continue to be a bit ‘rupt, which I plan to fix in the next few days. I hope everyone is well!
Yay, Parrowing!!
Happy birthday. Here is some cake and some Latvian gingerbread cookies, fresh from the oven. Also, a balloon to match your hair (you get to pick a colour, because every colour looks good with blue). And a *pile of hugs*, and – oh yes – here are *TheFireworks*!!!
And a big hooray for positive life-decisions – trivial, non-trivial, whatever! I’m glad you’re feeling so good about yourself.
What shade of blue?
rq
I have long thought that there would be money to be made in a line of disposable formalwear for children.
Dress ’em up real nice for the beginning of concert/wedding/party, tear-and-toss at the end.
Come to think of it, that would work for adult formalwear, too.
Thanks for the grats, all. And grats to the others with recent accomplishments whom I missed in my study-frenzy ‘ruptness.
Parrowing – happy birthday!!!!!
I asked PZ in the veg thread – it would be great to have some veg. main dish recipes shared that are reliable and intro level for normally meat-eaters to dive in with. I find veg. cookbooks to be somewhat daunting, whereas “here’s a dish we eat all the time” is more accessible.
rq – we have had to buy white dress shirts every year. Concert time was the only time they are worn.
rq
I’m afraid I don’t know the specifics of the problems.\
Chigau
In the 70s, disposable paper clothing for kids (and adults in some circumstances) was totally going to be the wave of the future, only it wasn’t. Probably the nadir of the paper clothes movement was an incident involving a public demonstration of a paper swimsuit, specially treated to be water resistant. (spoiler: it wasn’t).
Parrowing #560
Happy Birthday!
We can talk about vegetarian eating here, as long as we’re nice.
If you feel more belligerent, that thread is the place to go.
Parrowing:
Happy Birthday!
As for vegetarian eating, chigau is right, though I personally would use the vegetarian thread or the Thunderdome.
Dalillama
I remember the 60s paper clothing.
They were meant for “fashion”.
I’m thinking more like disposable surgical scrubs but something that you can buy in quantities of fewer than 500.
Hey, this is good news!
http://www.thestreet.com/story/12147858/1/gm-names-mary-barra-ceo-as-akerson-steps-down.html
chigau
At least some of the producers had the idea that it would be good for smaller children, as they could spill things, write on it, etc. and there was no problem.
Dalillama
I wonder why disposable clothing for children never caught on.
Disposable diapers sure did.
Anti-gay Republicans continue to be anti-gay, and they find new ways to be offensive, especially when they think they are speaking only to like-minded doofuses:
Washington Post link.
Representative Agema made the anti-gay comments “during a speech in which he urged Republicans to reach out to both independents and tea partiers.”
Have a mean curried potatoe and spinach that we do. Now, recipe? I dunno, take the stuff out of the cupboard, take the other stuff out of the fridge, cook.
Likely a pound of spinach, two of potatoes, fennel and coriander seeds both whole, red pepper flakes, onion – diced, and some oil.
Go with a 3/2/1 ratio on the coriander/fennel/red pepper flakes, cook in oil over medium heat to release some of the fragrance, then add onion and potatoes in bite sized chunks, cook with regular stirring until potatoes start to soften (they should not be soft like mashing potatoes at any time during this recipe!) then add spinach and cook it until the spinach, but not the potatoes, is at your favoured level of soft. (Spinach cooks down, a lot, it may go in in waves.) Eat! Repeat.
This is easy no meat eating.
If you are just veggie and not vegan, I have a real soft spot for frittata. That is so adaptable to what’s on hand and can easily prep for one or more as company requires.
Thank you, bassmike and carlie!
.
I love blue hair, parrowing, I bet yours looks great. And happy birthday!!!!
Oh, this is just depressing:
How do you kill four people in a DUI related fatality, and face no jail time?
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/11/texas-teen-kills-four-in-drunken-crash-but-gets-probation-after-parents-wealth-blamed/
I wonder what the judge would have done were Couch a PoC…
rqL
I am relieved!
I’m not sure I can take an anvil to the head.
:D
–
chigau, I chortled.
:D
–
Parrowing:
1) Happy birthday! *cake&moar cake*
2) I am envious.
I tried to do my hair in black with cobalt highlights, but the blue got completely lost.
It bodes ill for my desire to dye my hair purple, Come The Day that I am predominantly gray.
–
Yeah, and I’m sure that he learned responsibility here, by having the consequences of his actions trivially punished.
“All the justice you can afford”.
</sarcasm>
–
Tony
So, the way to finally teach this kid consequences is to make sure he doesn’t face any again?
Esteleth: Hooray Scholarship!
Opposablethumbs: highfive for SonSpawn :)
Tony: I think justice is probably somewhere in the middle between 20 years and no years in prison. Though if “his parents gave him everything therefore it’s not his fault he did this” logically leads to “it’s his parents’ fault he did this” …so …where’s their jail time? : p /not an actual policy advocacy, but still.
16 is so young. I think some incarceration would be good, but 20 years would probably not serve any good purpose.
Parrowing,
Happy birthday!
I think that some time in a facility that’s not part of the US prison system would be good. 20 years in prison would only make sure that there’s one more deeply broken person out there, but this isn’t a solution either…
Giliell:
Exactly. I was thinking maybe a youth services place, but of course those aren’t great either ’round these parts.
From the department of It’s about fucking time:
http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/breaking-louisiana-city-passes-anti-gay-discrimination-ordinance/news/2013/12/10/80022#.Uqevk5EhuPU
****
Portia:
Oh, I definitely agree. He fucked up badly and should face *some* jail time. 20 years is too much IMO. 5 years plus some community service perhaps…
Thank you, Portia!
At the very least this kid should make reparations to the families – and be banned from driving for life.
Since the defense’s claim was that the parents were responsible, and the judge apparently agreed, why aren’t they in prison?
Nah, not for life. Just til he’s 21 or 25. We want a productive, self-actualized citizen, and in the U.S., it’s a lot tougher if you can’t legally drive.
Portia
#586
I’d rather focus on making cars less necessary than keep letting people who’ve demonstrated they can’t be trusted with them kill others. As far as I’m concerned, any DUI, by anyone should result in a permanent loss of a driver’s license.
I’m afraid I must (gingerly – can’t stand up today, so scratch today from the list of my life’s days where I get to do what is wanted/needed) place my junkyard spine (and my eternal contempt for the shitfaced arsewiped pigfucker whose drunken running of a red light caused it) alongside the Schmott Guy on this one. We don’t give people a special pass on murder with an axe because we’re worried about their ability to keep a job later, and I’m not especially bothered to give them a special pass because they used their bad judgement to kill people instead of an axe. If you can’t be trusted to not drink and drive, then you can’t be trusted to drive.
I admit I’m quite clearly biased on this one, but no: you get nailed DUI and hurt someone, you never drive again. You get nailed DUI for a second time in any case, you’re done.
If you can’t be trusted to not drink and drive, then you can’t be trusted to drive.
Glenn Beck thinks progressives are fascists.
Methinks he doesn’t understand the word ‘fascism’.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/11/glenn-beck-the-pope-is-person-of-the-year-because-progressives-are-fascists/
Ooh, echo (echo) ((echo)) (((echo))). Sorry. Ctl-C is not Ctl-X.
In fact, maybe that’s a good koan. Or just a translation of Shakespeare into pseudo-pseudocode?
Ctrl-C, or Ctrl-X? =regexp
ON Mind.Interior <= Nobility DO
Suffering ++ RND(Outrageous; (slings, arrows))
ELSE DO Sea.ErrorMsg /dev null CALL Arms
ENDIFSometimes, it's good to live in Canada, she said, somewhat mysteriously in a "Stuff This Into Your Big Data and Smoke On It NSA Creeps" sort of way...
I need some Doritos.
CaitieCat:
Cool Ranch, Original or Spicy Hot Doritoes…?
Not spicy. I only need a little of a taste to go a long way, and spiciness is one that goes the furthest with the least. Also, capsaicin tastes like evil garbage water to me. :D
Whatever the red bag is.
I like the red bag.
Mmm. Crunchy.
What was I saying?
Well, it was bound to happen sometime: twisted my ankle falling down the stairs. At least it’s not serious.
In other news, it must be spring outside.
Thanks, everyone!
*
Thanks for the balloon, rq, I think I’ll go with purple. I would say the shade is cyan, with brighter sections, darker sections, and greener sections. I’ll probably do another round of blue tomorrow, though.
*
cicely:
My hair is naturally very dark so I had to do 3 rounds of bleach to get it light enough for the color to show well. Even with that, there are sections that don’t seem to have picked up much blue. It’s too bad the cobalt didn’t show with the black because it sounds like it would have looked very striking!
Oh no, rq! I’m glad it’s not serious and I hope it doesn’t hurt too much :-/
Hoo, boy! It’s a hot time on the Salt Lake Tribune’s comment boards today. The paper posted an article that pretty much throws Brigham Young under the bus when it comes to the issue of racism in the mormon church. They finally decided to blame somebody, and Brigham Young was selected as scapegoat.
Uh, yeah, that last bit is pure bullshit. In trying to save Joe Smith from the charge of racism, church Head Honchos really goofed up. Yes there is evidence, and plenty of it, for Joe’s racism and for his promotion of racism as a mormon doctrine.
Ex-mormon Steve Benson nuked the bullshit with his rebuttal. You can view all of Steve’s comments by going to the comments section at http://www.sltrib.com/pages/comments?cid=57241071 and sorting for “Best.” Here are a few excerpts from Benson’s posts:
Benson’s well-researched rebuttal posts are long, so you may have to click “see more” at the end of each comment.
More on Joseph Smith’s racism:
rq
Oh, no. I hope you recover quickly.
Parrowing!
Happy Birthday! I hear you on the transformative power of changing one’s appearance. I always found that it wasn’t how I looked after I did the thing, the empowering part was following through on the decision to do it. YMMV. Most recently I felt this by giving up on pockets to carry my stuff in. I’m built like a barrel (no discernible hips) so either I cinch a belt so tight it affects my digestion or I have to pull up my pants constantly. I now have a purse. Ms. Fishy keeps calling it my “Man Bag” despite my insisting that there’s already a perfectly good word for it.
bassmike
Ahem…I say: ahem good sir! Some of us play a real instrument. ;) Where’s IJoe and Oggie when I need them?
rq
Thank you. Knowing such things about oneself and feeling the truth of them is a difficult divide to cross. Thank you for that bit of bridge building.
I hope your ankle isn’t too bad. Soft tissue damage sucks so hard that vacuums have come to worship it as a god.
Hello Everyone!
I’m threadrupt, though I’ve tried to keep up and know I missed a lot. *hugs* for everyone, if wanted. Man, I miss you guys.
I’ve been busy and not a good busy. Mom’s husband went off his meds and on drugs again resulting in the voices being stronger with his paranoid delusions. He blamed Mom for things going wrong with technology, tracking him online, etc. when she can barely work the first gen Nook I gave her. He got so bad he destroyed their apartment several times, and for a week cops were called daily (sometimes more than once a day). The cops wouldn’t arrest him. They told Mom that if they were called again both would go to jail. This did nothing but make Mom leave wondering around stores for hours because she couldn’t stay home and couldn’t come to my apartment because he would just come destroy here as well. Then she was stuck at home because she literally couldn’t get out of bed and move anymore. Yes, most paranoid schizos are not violent but he is.
They finally arrested him over the Thanksgiving period, resulting him staying in jail for several days before seeing a judge and we got her out of there. She’s staying with friends but he’s found her and he’s found my abusive ex. They hung out, now Mom’s husband (soon to be ex) is knocking on my door all day and my ex is hanging around Mom’s new place. My ex has talked to her told her “I could’ve made a move months ago, I know where they are.”
It’s a giant clusterfuck. Cops are useless in this situation and sources are already hard to come by, especially during the holidays. I have no job and no hope of getting so I’m tied to Roomie and Roomie needs me because without my foodstamps he doesn’t make enough to eat and pay bills. That’s not even getting into how now we have four cats because we had to take in the kitten Mom and Husband kept. Little One is missing out on all the holiday crap and she can’t play outside with her friend like she used to (with Husband gone, I loosened up my rules a lot because…YAY crazy, violent man is gone), which is fucking heartbreaking. She’s also missing Grandma like crazy. I’ve explained things and she understands so it’s not like that, but she’s crying because life is so unfair. She’s fucking six.
*sigh*
On second thought, considering why Ogvorbis and IJoe haven’t been around I shouldn’t have invoked them in such a flippant manner. I apologise, and hope that the two of you are well. And please know that I value you both as members of this community and hope to see you writing here again.
rq:
Damn. Sorry to hear that.
****
CaitieCat:
I think these are the Doritos you are talking about.
****
Talking about changing hair color has me wondering what I’d look like with blue or red hair. I guess first I’d have to *have* hair.
****
Lynna:
There’s a commenter that just doesn’t seem to like what Steve Benson is saying. I haz a tiny violin for hir.
Also, when did calling someone a Mormon apologist become an ad hominem?
Fistbumps and hugs and pouncingearthwormjumphugs for JAL!
JAL
All the hugs for you today.
Is there anything we can do? Any possibility of getting out of there given the resources to do so? I was happy to contribute to your get-out-of-Dodge fund before and I would do so again without hesitation.
The Small Fry is six also, and lately she’s taken to claiming that things are unfair. Sometimes those claims have merit but often not so much. Your Little One’s complaint breaks my heart, such a truth for one so young to understand.
JAL
*hugs*
*ice packs* and *soft blankets for rq’s ankle. Feel better soon!
***
I am nervous. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to talk about my night terrors.
They haven’t gone away, and it seems like even a moderately stressful week can trigger them, and I’m also doing other weird stuff in my sleep. And I’ve tried all the easy, sensible “improve your sleep hygiene” and “lower your stress levels” stuff already, as much as is realistic. So I think it makes sense to go get some help with this. But I am still nervous about what my family doctor will think and what the process of getting proper treatment will be like, if it’s even possible.
I also feel like, since they aren’t as bad as they were in the summer, I should just wait and see if they get better. But I’ve been doing the “wait and see” thing since March, and I’m sick of it. And the frequency of night terrors will probably increase again next time my life gets seriously stressful. And I hate worrying that I will scare or hurt my future girlfriends and travel companions. My brain wants to tell me that I’m going to be wasting people’s time by seeking treatment. But I think that’s just my jerkbrain. I’m allowed to seek treatment for a scary sleep disorder that has lasted months, even if it’s not too bad right now, right?
JAL: I’m sorry things are so bad. *hugs*
If a HordeFund is being started for JAL, we can actually donate a bit this time.
JAL
We’ve also got some classic kid’s books we could send Little One for the holidays.
JAL:
I hope that someday soon, you, Little One and your mom are free from the your ex and your mom’s soon to be ex.
****
http://money.cnn.com/2013/12/10/pf/college/homeless-college-students/index.html
This is not right. Small colleges need to do better. Homeless students deserve a place to live. It *can* be provided. It *should* be provided.
*hugs* for all who can use some
—-
“lower your stress levels”
Hey! That’s some awesome advice!
We should all do that!
Whadda ya say, Gang?
Let’s just stop being stressed!
If a Hordefund is being started for JAL, I am able to donate as well.
****
Nutmeg:
YES. You deserve relief from these night terrors. You are not wasting anyone’s time by seeking treatment.
****
Stainless Steel camera lens coffee mugs? Nifty.
JAL
L informs me that we also have a stuffed elephant we could send the Little One
Bad news everywhere this week.
A colleague of mine at work died today. She was 34.
She was the primary caretaker for both of her parents; her dad died two years ago, her mom died just 8 months ago. She was an only child, although she had some close cousins. She was the kind of person who knew every employee in the place, and only had to meet you once to know your name forever after. When you would talk to her, she’d make you feel like you were the most important person and talking to you was the only thing she wanted to be doing right then. Everyone loved her. She had just started coming out of the grief of all of the sadness she’s been through, and things were looking up everywhere. She went home sick Monday, had an asthma attack, and after she got to the hospital went into cardiac arrest and a coma until she died today. I went looking online to see if there was information about services published yet; almost every web page with her name on it I found was comments she had made to other people on obituary pages, effusive of love and kindness and remembrances to other people in their times of grief. Because that’s the kind of person she was.
Life is so goddamned fucking short.
carlie:
I’m sorry to hear that.
My sympathies to her family and friends.
I just learned how “bladeless” fans work. Cool.
carlie: That’s awful. *hugs*
Ok, this is just amazing! Walking in the clouds!
Not really, but kinda sorta, if you have an imagination:
My thanks to cicely, opposablethumbs and Dalillama. I wasn’t expecting so many welcomes.
I was going to post something light-hearted, but after reading JAL’s story I felt it was inappropriate. That’s dismaying and heartbreaking. You have my sympathy. I wish there was some way to help.
Tony!: About fucking time indeed!
I’ll bet that Mr. 1-Vote-Against is facing a possible challenge to his job.
Don’t want to scare off the Tea Baggers and their precious, precious votes….
(Later)
You could paint your head, or have someone else paint it for you. I did The Husband’s head in Viking Rune Stonesque snakes for Halloween one year; it got a lot of attention!
:)
–
rq: *ice pack*?
–
FossilFishy, The Husband also uses a man-bag, though much larger than the one you linked to.
Well it has to be; otherwise, how would he get his police scanner in there?
Ogvorbis remains worryingly missing, but iJoe was in here just a few days ago, and it sounded as if things in his life were looking up.
–
JAL!!!
*Pouncehug Storm*
You were on my Worried About List.
*reading*
And there you’ll remain. What a clusterfuck!
I wish I could give you more than my sympathy and well-wishes.
–
*hugs* and moral support for Nutmet.
Tell jerkbrain to shut up; it’s not helping.
–
carlie, I’m sorry to hear about your collegue.
*hugs* as needed; just keep hitting the lever on the dispenser.
–
dõki, posting light-hearted things is often of great use in lightening up the direness, one of the best weapons in our arsenal against dismay and heartbreak.Post away!
–
doki:
I can’t speak for anyone else, but sometimes lighthearted posts can help take my mind off problems. If you spend time in the Lounge (which I hope you will), you’ll see us express happiness, joy, frustration, anger, sorrow…pretty much the entire gamut of human emotions. You’ll also see a great deal of kindness, support, sympathy, and compassion. All of the good news gets mixed together with the unfortunate.
I guess I’m just trying to say: share what you like, when you like :)
Thanks everyone. You guys are so sweet. There’s no need for a Horde fund yet since Roomie came back (he moved, you guys covered bills for a month, and he won’t talk about why. I think it’s because his friend/boss is addicted to pills). I don’t think he’ll move with us since his dream is for me to get stable and move out. We might go to a shelter eventually, but he’ll be screwed and stuck and I don’t want to do that to him.
I don’t know. It’s a giant mess. Mom and I might move together somewhere but there’s the divorce and paperwork to do since her and her husband get foodstamps together and she’s his payee for SSI since he’s unfit or whatever they call it. That needs to straightened out so we can move free and clear. She just fucking moved so this new double trouble abusers popped up yesterday and I’m so fucking frazzled I can’t sleep or think straight.
I’ll certainly take the presents for Little One, the poor kid. If you want to give small for presents that works too. When Mom got her payback check for SSD we splurged on a Leapad for her, which is so helpful since she’s having problems. She’s top of her class, but I’m worried because she gets frustrated when she doesn’t get it right the first time and often mixes up numbers/letters when doing math/reading. I need to get her tested but the Leapad is really great helping her with spelling and making reading interactive (she can’t sit still for a min. just reading a book). So a little to get her a new game would be great.
Of course she has a long list, from Dora’s Rock kit to My Little Pony everything but she’s learned early about getting presents from people, like they do in shelters.
Oh and I just found out Mom saw him again so it’s not just he’s keeping an eye on her but she thinks he lives around the area. :(
I’d ask Santa to make both of them spontaneously combust but that would make me a bad person. The system is fucked – they hurt victims and make abusers worse. I don’t know what else to do. Part of me just wants to escape into a book but that feels stupid, childish and wrong so I’m just up all day and night worrying.
JAL:
If you had the choice, what book(s) would you escape into?
Also, there is absolutely nothing childish about wanting to escape from the hardships of reality from time to time. In fact, I’ve found it to be necessary.
I’d ask Santa to make both of them spontaneously combust but that would make me a bad person.
JAL, can I offer you this booster shot of my prescription of the vaccine Dontgivafuc? Sometimes, being a “bad” person is about the only reasonable response.
No? Very well, then I shall take up the task for you. Hup that cross onto my poor old back, and let’s get this party started in here!
Gets prayerlikeish:
Dear Uncaring Universe, please give JAL’s bad people a mysterious case of spontaneous combustion, that is very quick and unpainful but also completely permanent and non-endangering of other beings.
I would take this in lieu of my new Lionel Genuine Soviet GuLag Trainset, or my Betta Getmeasammidge EasySerf Oven.
Thank you,
Bad Caitie
You’re welcome. ;)
Also, y’know, bent and wobbly hugs alongside the grim humour, and to the others.
Today has been a !walking day. I am able to walk IFF (in the formal sense) I am headed for the elimination facility, aka The Reading Room. My new diet is “How much crap can I pile on carryable containers to a place where I can rest comfortably enough to consume it, with the goal of not having to walk that grueling ten metres between hither and kitchen more than once a day?”
Fortunately, I have a hobby in “Structural Uses of Food”. I strongly recommend Pop Tarts: strong compressively, and reasonable under tension or combined load. Well-tanned beef jerky makes excellent lintel or flying-buttress material. Use of peanut butter welding is strongly recommended.
eeek!
I got an early birthday present (38 on the 16th of this month): A Google Nexus 7! Once I get paid, I can buy books on my tablet!
I’ve been using Google Earth and looking at some amazing images. I saw some gorgeous waterfalls somewhere in South America.
Wow, there exists tremendous beauty in our world!
carlie
My condolences
JAL
There’s nothing wrong with escaping into a book, it’s a major part of my coping strategy. Treat yourself. Also, my email is blaine delancey at gmail, no spaces; if you let me know what address to send to we can ship that elephant.
JAL
What Tony said, in spades. When there’s nothing to be done, no immediate action that can be taken and things have been thought through to the point where no new insight is likely, escape is perfectly called for. If nothing else the rest will make it easier to tackle reality when the need arises again. Don’t think of it as escape, think of it as medicine.
Tony
Happy birthday! If you’re in a hurry to get some books, I recommend Project Gutenberg to pick up a nice collection of classics, and Fifth Imperium if you like fantasy and/or science fiction. Both have a whole bunch of free ebooks, and are entirely legal.
Hi all!
JAL:
I’m sorry for you and your kids. I have completely lost the ability to can at the appallingness of the situation you are in. *Hugs* and I’ll see if I might be able to send something the way of little one.
In my life, I’m in a very pissy misandrist mood today. Being forced by cisfucks in positions of power to live around men, many of who brag about being misogynist right in front of me and a few of which are libertarians who claim not to even recognize the right to life, is downright Scary. and extremely rage-inducing.
I want your abusers, JAL, and those who choose to use their privilege to screw over others, to get properly punished for it. How about that.
*grrr* at friends who leave night-time non-specific-angst-voicemails and then can’t be contacted. (I have PMS. Communicate poorly at your own risk.)
The logical/more kind part of my brain says, “I’m sure he’s fine, he probably just wants to vent about dating difficulties with a sympathetic friend. He’s a couple timezones ahead and probably sleeping now.” The less kind part of my brain says, “He should know that late-night vague angst makes me jump to all the worst conclusions. And that I hate phone calls. Anything less than an emergency can be expressed in an email or text requesting a Skype time.” And the worrying part of my brain says, “Oh god, I should have caught that call on the last ring, even though it was terribly inconvenient and I was in a bad frame of mind for talking. He’s probably having some kind of a crisis and has no one to talk to and god knows what he’s doing now.”
*deep breath*
***
I hate asking people to modify their behaviour because what they do hits a sore spot for me. I generally take the viewpoint that my problems are my problems, and it’s my job to deal with them. I feel like asking people to change could hurt them and might be manipulative.
I need to think that through more thoroughly. Maybe in closer relationships, it’s more acceptable to ask someone to change their behaviour if it is a problem for you? I would feel a bit more comfortable asking a serious romantic partner to change something than asking a friend. But even with people I have close relationships with, I’m not sure how to tell when asking them to change would be unrealistic or a huge imposition versus when it would be no big deal.
Probably some things are simple. “Let’s not watch that movie full of fiery car crashes, because reasons” is something I could say without feeling guilty. But I’m less sure about “Your mode of communication gives me anxiety” or “I know you really like X, but I kind of need the opposite”.
Just thinking out loud here. Apologies for the poorly-formed ideas and ramblings.
Oh, that reminds me.
I just finished Fire Logic by Laurie J. Marks. It’s a fantasy that does a great job of portraying a world in which sexual orientation isn’t an issue. Of the three relationships we get to see one is gay, one is lesbian and one is straight and none are unusual enough to elicit comment from anyone. Also the society is egalitarian as regards to gender. There isn’t any correlation between what a character does and their gender, nor between that and their role in the story.
Michigan women now have to purchase rape insurance to get an abortion.
Fatal Facepalm/Headdesk.
Near fatal headdesk:
When will Zimmerman ever spend time getting to know the inside of a cell?
Having a bad day?
Need some images of cute animals?
Look no further:
http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/tiny-animals-on-fingers
@ Tony! #602
Lest you forgettin’… Linky
;p
*hugs* and sympathy for rq, JAL, Nutmeg and carlie
Joining CaitieCat in being Bad and wishing a mysterious case of spontaneous combustion on JAL’s ex and her mum’s ex for Christmas.
For JAL and for science!
theophontes:
I *had* forgotten about that!
Hahaha!
Thanks!
****
This seems like an intriguing idea:
I have been seriously WOWed and transfixed to http://www.mymodernmet.com/ for the last several hours….
Fuck.
Partner is in hospital with pneumonia.
Wow, so much sympathy and *hugs* for JAL (adding my mind to the Hive now collectively, on your behalf, demanding some spontaneous combustion-like activity from the Universe at Large), for carlie and Nutmeg, and an extra *hug* for thunk!
Tony
You also look good with that particular hair-style. I think you should consider growing it out. :)
The ankle is rather tender but fine, thank you, all. Although – I can walk, but later today I have to get on a train with a small child and a 5-kilo pastry (and it’s not the low-platform kind of train). (And no, the child and pastry are not connected, you dirty hungry atheists – besides, we’re only supposed to eat babies.)
doki
Don’t worry about posting light-hearted in the Lounge, as you can see, it’s a muddle of this and that – and all appropriate responses are received, but the light-heartedness is a great relief (as Tony mentioned). (But sometimes, I wait a day or half-a-day before posting lighthearted stuff if there’s something serious being discussed in the Lounge – it just seems polite, and isn’t particularly difficult considering my timezone.)
In still other news, I don’t have any response from Ogvorbis at all. Anyone else have any way to try to contact him? I hope he’s just avoiding us, and not in any serious distress of any kind…………….
And because my Facebook feed was oddly devoid of any Lounge-worthy links, you may all enjoy my favourite skeletonist.
[*waves*] I’ve been keeping up on reading (mostly) but behind on commenting, and won’t cover everything I’d have liked to say. Hugs & condolences for those that need them. Welcome to our new commenters.
Hey, Tony, you share that birth date with my spawn.
Preparing to go on “vacation” next week. Visiting relatives half a country away; first time back in almost 5 years. I like them all well enough, but … well this time of year is already stressful for a large number of reasons everyone is familiar with, travel + visit lumped on top of that. So I’ve got a bit of dread. And so, so, so many things to do (heaped upon already being behind on numerous “normal” things) is making me shut down, and then feel guilty about not getting anything done … all in a vicious cycle.
At work I saved a colleague half a day of investigation/debugging by guessing the cause of his problem with 10 minutes of shoulder surfing. Came down to two characters. Though I might have that beat with my own issue. I’ve been pounding my head on the desk daily after trying to duplicate a “procedure that works” for others … for over a week. I think it might come down to “3” vs. “4” in one file name (and hint, the newer version isn’t the one that works). Running jobs (~12hr) now to see if the problem is “fixed”.
WMDkitty
Oh no!!! *scritches* and lots of ’em (for you, but Partner also, if it helps), and hoping for a speedy recovery!
Big *hugs* for Thunk andWMDKitty.
WMDKitty:
best wishes to Partner for quick recovery from pneumonia.
****
aaaaand now I’m thoroughly wrapped up in Listverse’s Religion Archives…
Morning
Ahhh, you know, a family is like a nuclear stand-off: Everything is fine as long as everybody keeps the finger from the red button.
No, nothing major happened, just the little one throwing a major tantrum because the knight costume is in the laundry….
WMDKitty
Best wishes for your partner
carlie
I’m so sorry *hugs*
nutmeg
This sounds uncomfortably familiar.
Do you also do this thing where you think about asking somebody a favour or something and then think about all the objections and grievances they might have and then you don’t even ask anymore because how could you be so selfish?
I found out it’s bullshit:
First: Many times the answer is “yes of course, why not?” Especially if you phrase it as a problem you have and they can help you with. Most people happily help other people, especially if it doesn’t cost much.
Second: If they say no it does not mean they don’t love you. Well, most people you ask don’t love you anyway. My dear parents made me beg for love, so I ended up not asking people anything (not even asking people whose job it is to be asked) out of fear they would reject me.
Third: It poisons relationships. Because their behaviour won’t stop to annoy you. And since they don’t know you’re annoyed and upset they don’t have a chance to fix it.
(((hugs)))
JAL
I’m so sorry to hear :(
Please consider getting out of there as soon as you and your ma can. Don’t worry about Roomie. Obviously he didn’t worry that much about the two of you when he moved out. Self-care is not selfish and you deserve better.
+++*signs Caitie’s petition to the universe+++
It’s taking a long, slow time, but I’m getting over this. It’s so hard, though. Not because I had to beg for anything, though, but because my dad was big on self-reliance and not sharing your issues/problems with anyone because conspiracy. And that whole religious aspect of selfishness, where it makes you the worst person ever because you’re not thinking of [the children / the poor / people worse off / your siblings / the person you are asking / etc.].
dontpanic
Good luck, I’m sure I have some extra thumbs to hold on your behalf!
Also, the family thing – good luck with that, too. *hugs* if desired!!
Not sure if you guys already follow but I found this site, Good News Feminism, when I went to check the status of “I’m not a sexist but..” tumblr. It’s great, lots of activist things and positive stories.
rq sorry to hear about the ankle but glad it’s on the mend. Always a bit tricky negotiating extremely young people, pastries and public transport all at the same time … good luck with that.
JAL it’s wonderful to see you again! But bloody hell what a fuck-up wrt the lack of protection from your respective exes/soon-to-be exes. I hope your mum and you can get away with Little One eventually. I’m glad that she will have an elephant on its way to her. And you definitely need moments of down time – I escape into fiction when I get the chance, and any troubles I have are less than nothing compared to what you have to deal with.
Nutmeg it’s great that the night terrors are somewhat abated at present, but in some ways that might make this the ideal time to see someone about the issue – it might be easier to work on them while they’re “down” ? :-) Also, asking people for what you need is a skill I wish I had learned. Giliell is right on that, I think.
carlie I’m so sorry about your friend. It’s awful to lose someone so young, and losing a really good person is the worst. My most wonderful cousin (incredibly intelligent, politically active, a force in anti-racism) died young while the … less stellar relatives, shall we say, are still around. Bastard Uncaring Universe.
WMDKitty hope your partner is OK and recovers from the pneumonia soon!
thunk, I sympathise. Hopefully the day will come when you get to live mostly with/around whom you choose. Glad you can hang around here in the Lounge in the meantime!
.
.
Might it be possible, do you think, for our Squidly Overlord himself to contact Ogvorbis? Just a line to let him know we’re worried about him, as it sounds like the email addresses any of us have may not be current ones …?
@ rq
I wish there was some way to get hold of him. Perhaps, as opposablethumbs suggests the tentacled PZ could get hold of him.
@ Tony!
And the dreads?
PZ has tentacles everywhere, it shouldn’t be too difficult for him… right?
There is nothing like spending 25 minutes of an English language class talking about the legality and illegality of various drugs.
Success!! I have been rescued from the train – I know have a veheekl at my disposal. Yay! (Because a 5 kg pastry is… rather large.)
It’s not a cure for depression, but it was funny.
And if that isn’t good enough, here’s some monkey cute.
carlie:
I’m so so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
JAL:
Jesus fuck, I can’t say how sorry I am that all exploded on you. And for Little One. I offer all the support I can give.
Hugs to all who need them. Especially to WDMKitty. When our little one had pneumonia it was horrible. I hope your partner is well soon
Happy forthcoming birthday to Tony! Are you folically challenged, as I am?
rq good luck with train/child/pastry combo. Is there still snow around? As that won’t help matters.
JAL – I feel like we have corresponded in the past, but I would love love love to help you give her a Christmas present, so if you would like to, please email me at bravo[nym] at the gaggle mail.
—
I haven’t finished this, but I love it so far. It’s the antidote to “What Happy People DO!!111!!!” lists, and it’s called “How to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed.” I hate that first variety of lists.
WMDKitty – I’m so sorry, I hope Partner is ok.
rq – best wishes for that ankle. : (
Happy early birthday Tony!
–
Hugs all around
cicely, Tony! and rq: oh, ok! I’ll try and get the gist of how this place works.
* * *
Tony! (#624): Happy unbirthday. There are, indeed, some interesting waterfalls in South America. Perhaps the most famous are the Iguazu Falls, which I had the opportunity to visit twice, once in the summer, once in the winter. The quantity of water flowing changes a lot from one season to another, so it’s quite curious to see the same place in a different light.
* * *
Nutmeg (#629): I don’t know about your friends, but I usually want the people I know to tell me if they think I should mend my ways (especially close friends!). I’d hate if I were inadvertently making them uncomfortable somehow. I usually try to make it clear to them that they can talk to me about this sort of thing, but I’m not sure if I’m completely effective with my message…
Discussion of sexual harassment of one first grader to another. I guess. Not sure how to warn against what this is about without just saying so.
—
A six year old boy, with a history of other such disruptions, kissed a (female) classmate on the hand during class time and was suspended. Cue the outrage…his mother says “now he’s asking what sex is.” Oh, horror! She might have to talk to her child about other people’s boundaries and maybe even explain why what he did was not okay?! (Something tells me that conversation is not going to happen, though). The most disgusting part is that the mom’s defense is quoted as being that the children “consider themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.” Therefore, he can do what he wants when he wants! QED! The article doesn’t say how long his suspension is. I don’t really care, maybe the punishment is a bit harsh, but the reaction is making me the most angry.
Portia
I hate these people so much.
I had to talk about sexual harassment with my six-year old because she was the victim of it.
Because that’s what happened, nobody would call it anything else if it were done by adults.
But I guess this is totally OK and NEVER EVER SAY A WORD ABOUT IT TO THE BOYS!!!!!!
Also, if your kid doesn’t know what sex is at 6 it’s high time somebody taught him.
Giliell
As usual, you hit the nail on the head.
It’s all so disgusting.
And, I mean, even if it was perfectly fine with the subject of the kiss (and her parents!), can’t these people, at a minimum, recognize that it’s not appropriate classroom behavior? No. Wait. They can’t. Because “boys will be boys” and everyone should just bow and scrape to their uncontrollable urges and make accommodations to the self-fulfilling prophecy of their inability to consider other people’s (read: women/girls’) needs and desires.
When is “too early” to start teaching about personal boundaries?
Portia
Yep. One day these boys will no longer be cure six-year olds. But they’ll keep on victimising girls and women. but, hey, maybe one day a judge will rule that he’s not really to blame because his parents always protected him and he never experienced any consequences!
No, they totally can’t. They can’t do it because they themselves don’t understand the difference between “appropriate” and “consensual”.
When I talked to the mother whose son had kissed #1 against her will, she ompletely went on the “appropriate” line. She couldn’t understand that I didn’t have a problem with them kissing in the schoolyard, but that he had kissed her against her will (as a “dare” inspired by his friends). So if she talked to him about it, the message he’ll have gotten would be “It’s OK to kiss girls whether they like it or not if I grow older and do it outside of school”.
As for this boys punishment:
Blargh, it’s this American obsession with revenge and punishment and law and order.
Firstly, suspensions are stupid anyway. Really, what are they supposed to achieve? You’ll get the parents against you, because now they have to organize childcare. You’re punishing them. And if they#re older and troublesome, you’ll just give them what they want: a few days off. The school where I’m an intern at the moment recently had the case where they got a call from the police while I was there: Two kids who’d been suspended (happens here too, but not that easily) got caught shoplifting.
Secondly, yes, over the top and ineffective. Because it does nothing to address the problem. The boy git suspended before for kissing that girl. Look how that worked out.
Dunno, what does “stays on the school record” mean.? For how long? Stigmatizing 6yo for all time can’t be helpful either.
I had an argument with my mother awhile back on this issue.
She was expressing dismay over the Steubenville case (which was still making headlines at that point). She asked what can be done to prevent such things from happening again.
I suggested teaching boys that they aren’t entitled to girls’ bodies. I brought up as an example such things as grabby kindergarteners.
She then accused me of not understanding child psychology and asserted that young children being grabby was harmless because it isn’t like there’s any malice behind it.
Now, I agree that (usually) there’s no malice behind a six-year-old grabbing another. But, by failing to tell a child that you have to ask permission before touching someone else, you’re laying the groundwork for the societal messages that come later, about how women exist for men’s taking.
—
*drops a load of hugs for all assembled*
—
JAL! I’m glad to see you again, but sorry to hear about how things are going. :( :( :(
—
I had a realization the other day as I was drifting off to sleep, so I made a series of stream-of-consciousness tweets. I won’t reproduce them altogether (because who wants to read that?), but here’s the upshot:
My parents complain every time we see each other or are otherwise communicating that I don’t reach out to them much. They have to call me. Now, part of that is that I’m not the type that picks up the phone to call people just to chat. I also don’t send chatty emails. That’s how I am with everyone, not just them.
But, when I think on it, I think that part of my aloofness from my parents is deliberate. My parents are very religious. My mother is born-again. They don’t participate in the “culture war” shit, and are pretty progressive, politically, but have some serious blind spots when it comes to biggies like LGBT rights and women’s rights. When I first came out, they made a huge-ass deal about how they weren’t like “those Christians” who would disown a queer child. They would never do such a thing!
They then expected me to be grateful for this. Grateful? I’m sorry, you don’t get cookies for failing to be a flaming asshole.
They also went on about how they aren’t in the business of legislating morality. And how they aren’t going to judge other people’s choices. But, well, don’t I agree that drag queens are just weird? And really, what is up with pride parades? And, oh my god, are those men holding hands? And kissing?!
They’re better about this now. Which is to say that they’ve learned to be subtle about it and not be blatantly homophobic. Around me, that is.
I’ve thought about bringing this up. But I really don’t want to hear a speech about how change is really hard and how I’m being intolerant and ungrateful and don’t understand what really matters.
And they wonder why I don’t call. They wonder why there’s a gulf between us.
—
The other day, I went to a play. It was a stage adaptation of Frankenstein that was actually an adaptation of the book, rather than being set in a castle in Transylvania with a supporting cast that included Marty Feldman. It was quite good! Delightfully creepy, as the story really commands.
Except that they made a change that I noticed. In the book, a major plot point is when the Creature murders Frankenstein’s wife, Elizabeth. In the book, it doesn’t directly say how, but it’s implied to be strangulation. In the play, the Creature invades the house while she’s waiting for her husband to come to her on their wedding night. She – unique of all the characters – reacts with pity and kindness to him, and offers him her help and friendship. He then violently rapes her. Frankenstein bursts in mid-rape and is greeted by the Creature yelling about how Frankenstein “gave me life, but now I’m a MAN!”
The final sequence (Frankenstein and the Creature’s final fight) includes the Creature waxing rhapsodic about Elizabeth’s thighs.
UGH.
rq:
Perhaps it is due to the post waking up haze, but my mind drifted off reading this and imagined a fantastic scenario where you were trapped in a train being hunted by a…rather large pastry, searching for your car keys…
bassmike:
Not sure if you can enlarge my gravatar, but that’s a pic of me. I have shaved my head since ’91.
****
theophontes:
I do not believe I shall ever forget the dreadlocks…
Hi everybody here. I love you all. Thanks to someone here, I think maybe Caine, I discovered Mary Gauthier and have been listening to her in a loop for months. Especially her “Mercy Now”. Yes, I think we could all use a little mercy now.
So, to all of you having troubles upthread, here.
Sorry forgot that this needed a reply:
Fossil Fishy
My measured and mature response is:
Phhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuttttttttttttttttttttt :-P
Actually I do play ‘real instruments’ as well as bass. But, sadly, you’re more in demand as a bass player than anything else. In my experience.
Tony! I think the gravatar is a small bit map, so can’t be enlarged. But if you’re bald by choice, it’s not the same! If only I had the option of shaving my head or otherwise. Privileged man mode OFF.
All genealogy sites have something to do with mormonism. Mormons have made it their thing to gather and digitally store as many records as possible. They also have allowed untrained mormons to submit records of their ancestors. As you can imagine, their databases are full of errors. Almost no one calls them on this.
Quotes from ex-mormons:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,605118,605287
Ancestry.com is not owned by the LDS church, but it is run by mormons.
With all this sub-par genealogy stuff going on in mormondom, I don’t know why they don’t just make up names, or say something like, “I baptize you in the name of your great grandmother’s grandmother.” If they simply must necrodunk everyone, and they get the names wrong (or recycle the names and necrodunk the same dead person multiple times), the exercise becomes more surreal, more useless than it appears on the surface — which is saying a lot.
More background on ancestry.com:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,680186,680259
Esteleth
Apparently that’s the 2011 adaptation. AFAICT, the original stage version (from 1836) was entirely faithful to the novel. Of course, AFAICT it hasn’t been staged since sometime in the 1840s either.
Tony @602 (in reference to post #596)
Yeah, Commenter88 has a real need to take Steve Benson down, but he/she is not up to the task. Not even close.
There is no too early. Despite introducing these concepts from the start we are still fighting it at six though because the messages our child gets elsewhere are so at odds with our rules at home. I can’t imagine trying to deprogram without our message in the mix all along.
Racist Microaggressions
http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/kiyun-kim-racial-microaggressions
Yup, GOP.
Racism is dead.
(can I have another fatal facepalm in less than 24 hours?)
Regarding the 3000 or so comments on the Salt Lake Tribune article that threw Brigham Young under the bus as being the only one to blame for racism in mormon church, Pamela Fletcher offered a summary:
For those of you who may want to dip into this fracas without having to search for the Benson comments:
http://www.sltrib.com/pages/comments?cid=57241071#comment-1156421929
http://www.sltrib.com/pages/comments?cid=57241071#comment-1156586844
http://www.sltrib.com/pages/comments?cid=57241071#comment-1156778227
Link to the article:
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/57241071-78/church-lds-says-mormon.html.csp
Important:
Can I put up a note for PZ that we’re worried and would like him to try and use Ogvorbis’ login mail to contact him?
It’s skirting the privacy border, but I think the situation warrants it.
Dhorvath
It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
They pick up so much gender-shit, it makes you wanna cry.
And it’s so much everywhere.
An example? My language class required us to subscribe to a daily mailservice that teaches one word a day to German learners. You get definition, translation, number of google hits, examples, notes on usage.
Today’s word was “namesake”. The example was all about famous men, sons, fathers and grandfathers. I had to ask our instructor (sarcastically)(who is not the person who writes the mails) if it was also possible to use it for women…
esteleth
Urgh, I’m sorry.
The one thing I have to say in favour of my in-laws (well, no, I have to say many good things about them) is that they really learned and finally got at least the LGB thing. When everybody was still suspecting that their younger son was gay they were like “how can we stop X from turning him gay?” then they went to “Well, you’re gay, but don’t bring your boyfriend to family events because of grandma” but finally they understood. They were honestly pleased to meet BIL’s new boyfriend and said boyfriend was accepted into the family like I was.
Hmmm, breakfast with giraffes in kenya.
****
Article from several months ago on a blog I just stumbled across (thanks to the New Civil Rights Movement):
http://blogs.law.columbia.edu/genderandsexualitylawblog/
Full marriage equality in the US is an important goal.
It is not the end of the battle for full equality.
____
Another interesting post at the same blog:
http://blogs.law.columbia.edu/genderandsexualitylawblog/2013/07/09/cfp-histories-of-sexuality-and-religion-in-the-20th-century-united-states/
____
Also, this one is still accepting submissions:
http://blogs.law.columbia.edu/genderandsexualitylawblog/2013/07/08/call-for-submissions-for-tsq-transgender-studies-quarterly-2-1-2015/
Beatrice:
I think it is worth a try.
I know that PZ has been busy, so he may not even know what the Pitters have been saying about Ogvorbis. You may need to go into detail.
But yes, Ogvorbis has been dealing with this for so long, and it really seemed–according to him–that he was starting to get better. He does not need to have the lies of the Pit weighing on him.
Grammar and punctuation matter:
Forgot the link for my comment #679:
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/surprise-engagement
Scroll down for hilarious oxford comma cartoons.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/michigan-the-meaning-rape-insurance
That’s Michigan, State. Sen. Gretchen Whitmer speaking.
Right to Life forces in Michigan pushed the bill, and put lots of money and organization behind this misogynist act. They also used outright lies to push the bill.
The video associated with my comment #681 is really powerful. It is in the Wendy Davis category of powerful presentations.
Repeat of link:
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/michigan-the-meaning-rape-insurance
So, par for the course, then?
beatrice
Use the Alert system to contact the overlord?
Dammit, Pharyngula, why did you eat my comment???
I wrote about how I survived the pastry but the pastry didn’t survive us. With picture for Tony and everything (to illustrate the rather large pastry).
And about how teaching children about boundaries is a work in progress and a lot of effort but they’re slowly catching on to that whole permission/consent before touching/wrestling/any contact thing. And they don’t like hearing ‘No’ from others but they’re learning to respect it. And how it’s difficult. But doable and definitely a thing to do. Gah!
Also, Beatrice, yes, I think a notice to the overlord is warranted in this case. Ogvorbis might also be a bit more comfortable about hearing from him rather than one of us. And as I said before, I hope he’s just busy and staying away from the internet.
Happy early birthday, Tony!.
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WMDKitty:
I’m sorry to hear that.
*scritches&catnip*
Best wishes for a rapid recovery.
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*waving*
Hi, Bicarbonate!
:)
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http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/12/volunteer-fire-chief-resigns-over-shockingly-offensive-facebook-posts-but-denies-hes-racist/
He. Doesn’t. Understand. Why. People. Are. Upset???
America!!! You come here right now. We are going to have a long series of talks about race, you and I.
I’m not dead, just paper writing.
Happiez, sadz, and hugz where appropriate.
Crip Dyke
Oh, those aren’t synonyms?? (Good luck!)
Portia
re: the anti-happy-crowd link
I read that a while ago, and I really loved it (the original post that it responds to, too). I’ve always had a secret passionate hatred for those 3948729384 Ways to BE HAPPPPYYYYY!!! lists – because I always read them, looking for an answer of some kind, but they always leave me feeling kind of… bleh and empty. And I’ve never been able to say why, because a lot of things seem like good ideas (yeah, sure, eat healthier; oh yeah, of course, exercise every day; yeah yeah, ignore the negatives focus on the positives, mmhm…).
To clarify, I don’t think I have depression (no diagnosis, etc.), but I am a down kind of person – enough where it sometimes keeps me from daily routines. And these lists were not helpful in any way possible. I can’t imagine how they sound to people with real, actual depression. So this list of 21 things was especially refreshing, because it was a huge help just to be able to understand that it’s ok to get down, and there are things you can do, even minor ones, but most of all – that I’m down through no fault of my own.
On a more amusing note, I liked #19 especially due to the phrase “I am not a psychic.” Years and years ago, I realized that I am not a psychic (bet you’re all surprised!), but I use it to my advantage. See, because I am not a psychic, I simply imagine, as realistically as possible, the worst possible things that could ever happen during [trip/day/event/meeting/etc.] and I know, because I am not psychic, that those things will not happen. Because if they did, then I would be psychic. And I’m not. :) So, in a weird way, that’s how I avoid some psychological pit-falls and anticipatory fears: I imagine the worst of them, knowing that they won’t come true because I have now ‘predicted’ them. (Of course, there’s always something I’ve missed, and Life still manages to corner me sometimes, but for the most part, that’s the kind of backwards thinking that helps me get over my fears. Yup, people* are weird.)
* By ‘people’ in this case I mean, more specifically, moi-self.
From racist firefighter article, some background:
And with that, we can now go on to our regularly scheduled Shorter Sean Sargent’s Backpedal:
My goodness, this man’s backpedal is amazingly incompetent. Let’s play backpedal bingo, shall we?
1. He said he’d made the posts “to get a reaction”
2. he denied (comments like the “good (expletive) start” statement) were intended to disparage any particular race
3. He was trying to make an important political point that is totes race neutral: “I have an issue with anyone who is being lazy or taking advantage of the system”
4. “I think this whole thing was turned into more than it really should have been.”
5. denies that he’s a racist
6. he does not believe the [KKK] is a racist group: “The Klan is not about threatening people,” he said. It’s just “an organization you can join to be proud of your white heritage”.
7. he said he had a black family member [boy do I wish I heard how he phrased that – or, y’know, I don’t]
And after he was done successfully defending himself from the totally unjust reaction that made a big deal out of nothing b/c he was trying to get a reaction and get people riled up? With as many bingos as this guy gives everyone, you know how this is going to end.
That’s right! Freeze Peaches for all:
8. “there is still a thing called freedom of speech,” he said. “I can say whatever I want, whether I feel that way or not. In America, you have that freedom.”
How
heartwarmingpeachfreezing!God bless us! Every one!
Isn’t one of the colloquialisms for the vulva ‘peaches’? Which… gives this phrase a whole new meaning. A very appropriate one, I should think – along the lines of ‘ball-shrinking’.
Re racist firefighter:
O.o
9. People are too sensitive to this “racism” shit; everyone Just Needs To Get Over It, and Grow A Thicker Skin!
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cicely:
Yeah, funny how people who are saying “you’re too sensitive” take criticism so hard, innit? :/
Ok, I’m about to just turn off the world for the rest of the day. ARgh!
This conservative fuckwit wants to legalize discrimination! At least he’s being open and honest about it.
Speaking of same-sex marriage, I was quite shocked to hear that the Australian court has ruled against same-sex marriage because the federal government challenged the legality of the original decision – and in the process, has annulled already-completed marriages?? And India recriminalised gay sex… (I’m seeing the same argument in both cases – that such decisions should be made by the parliament/government, not the courts. Is there less common sense in the parliament than in courts or something?)
So I guess the wave of progress is now ebbing? :(
It’s all very empowering, but they neglected to mention the chilly climate effect. So basically if you’re not a success, it’s all your fault, because here’s a nice list.
I see Mano has the blog post for my 696.
May I say that I’m totally underwhelmed by AA holiday campaign? The billbord, the displays?
To me they look like kids bickering over who has the one TROO meaning.
My daddy is bigger than your daddy.
Seriously, they need somebody to do their PR.
Speaking of racism and people in authority, this failbook entry was just about the definition of “lolsob”.
Description: White guy with red hair holding up “iphone” to his head in the car while driving. Status says”Driving around chatting on the iphone cookie I baked, trying to get pulled over so I can just I can just eat the cookie in the cops face.” Comment underneath says “Funny! Wish I was white so I could play tricks on cops without getting shot.”
OK, so I didn’t think this through.
I’m not sure on the policy on reposting Ogvorbis’ response where everyone (including the slimers ) can see, without his permission, but he responded to PZ. So there’s that.
I’m a bit less scared for him now.
Beatrice
Likewise.
NEW THREAD.
And dear gob, don’t read the comments in that article linked to in #700.