Comments

  1. Louis says

    INTERNATIONAL PISSING CONTEST!!!!!!*

    You elected George Bush. Two of them. AND Reagan.

    Naughty, naughty Americans.

    Louis

    * In the interest of Not Hurting American Fee Fees (IMPORTANT!!) I stress that this is a) a joke, b) all in the best possible taste, and c) not serious. Ladies and Gentlemen and Brownian, to you national stereotypes and mangled history. I expect nothing less than your finest jingoistic gems.

  2. stonyground says

    I suppose the upside is that every time this kind of stuff happens, the National Secular Society gets a surge in membership applications.

    Also in the news this week is that the Anglican Church in Wales is dying on its arse.

  3. maureenbrian says

    It is comforting to see that Noah trusted god so much he felt no need to engage a naval architect to help him with his ark. (see link in OP)

    We could double-check this with ‘Tis Himself, if you wish, but I have a hunch that their coffin-shaped thing with holes along the top would capsize in a quite unremarkable swell. If it managed to float initially with all that weight, I mean.

  4. says

    This infestation is obviously an invasive species from America. The telltale growth of comic sans on the sign out front is a dead giveaway.
    I’m guessing they stowed away in a shipment of stupid. It’s the only thing we export anymore, so we’ve gotten kind of lax with the inspections.

  5. Louis says

    Zeno,

    Excellent work, an admirable riposte.

    However evil Thatcher was, she was a decently educated person in a science discipline, I can almost manage to rake some tiny morsels of admiration for her out of my cold, black, leftie heart.

    And now, jingoism:

    {Stretches}

    All Americans are bellicose, gun toting, fat fundamentalists who are irretrievably stupid. And called Cletus and Bubba. Even the women.

    Thank you.

    Louis

    P.S. I advise mocking our impressive teen pregnancy rate, the supposed lack of access to orthodontics, our legendarily execrable cuisine and our proximity to the French.

  6. says

    Louis: Way back in elementary school, I had a pen-pal who lived in Birmingham (the original, in the UK, not the US copy in Alabama). In his first letter to me, he asked whether all U.S. citizens wore cowboy hats and drove gigantic Cadillacs. How did he know?

  7. Louis says

    Zeno,

    My friend from the time I lived in NYC was convinced everything in the UK had a thatched roof and that tweed was the major cloth of choice.

    He was right too!

    Louis

  8. Gregory Greenwood says

    Pssst Louis, over here….

    *Gestures to quiet alcove away from the other intertoobs*

    If you want to win this thing, remember not to remind them that our current Prime Minister is Mr David “bring religion back into public life” Cameron, or that former Prime Minister Blair was the one who authorised state funding for faith schools.

    Now, may I advise that you work the Creation Museum and Fox News angles? Oh, and tell them that there is pretty much a worldwide consensus that they have now overtaken us as the jolly bad colonial types on the world stage. That always annoys them…

  9. says

    We’ve always had them, just not quite in the numbers that you do in the States. The difference is that our education curriculum is (still just about) set nationally, so they don’t even get a chance to be elected to a position where they can influence it.

  10. Emrysmyrddin says

    The difference is that our education curriculum is (still just about) set nationally

    Ask around here for jonnyscaramanga. We’re fellow Brits; I’ve only read about it, but jonny was educated in an Accelerated Christian Education school here, with OFSTED’s blessing. Plenty of other private Christian and Muslim schools also teach creationism; I’m unsure as to the status of Judaic schools, but I wouldn’t be exactly surprised if they managed to as well. And all perfectly sanctioned *spits*

  11. 'Tis Himself says

    All Americans are … called Cletus and Bubba. Even the women.

    I most certainly am not called either Cletus or Bubba.

    Sincerely,
    Billy Joe Jim Bob Johnson

  12. Rich Woods says

    Just down the road from Keswick is Maryport, a town which (when I were a lad) used to host some serious biker gatherings and a famous blues festival (I think this still runs). So the region may be overpopulated by credulous wankers for a few weeks each year, but it does have some things going for it in the broader sense.

  13. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    One word: Thatcher.

    Watch your mouth, young man!

  14. Louis says

    ‘Tis,

    Oh I am most terribly sorry. I forgot to include Billy Joes and Jim Bobs.

    Louis

    P.S. Gregory, Roger Wilco. I also plan on telling them they lost the Vietnam War. I expect to be told I would be speaking German if not for them. Also, it’s our bloody language, put the u back in colour and what not. And baseball is a crap version of cricket, sort it out. Don’t get me started on gridiron.

  15. 'Tis Himself says

    . I also plan on telling them they lost the Vietnam War.

    Yeah? Well you folks lost the American Revolution, thereby making the world safe for u-less colors and baseball. And if you guys are going to play rugby, wear some armor* and padding, you’ll keep your teeth.

    *Note the lack of u.

  16. Louis says

    And by the way, comedy aside, we Brits are well aware the our charming overlords are currently doing unpleasant things to a variety of our national institutions. They are displeased that we haven’t turned our prisons, health service and schools into profit making enterprises that they can retire to the boards of when their tenure in government expires.

    Don’t worry, the last bunch of turds did the same, they just pretended to be a bit lefty whilst doing it. Labour party, my arse.

    Louis

  17. Matt Penfold says

    This infestation is obviously an invasive species from America. The telltale growth of comic sans on the sign out front is a dead giveaway.
    I’m guessing they stowed away in a shipment of stupid. It’s the only thing we export anymore, so we’ve gotten kind of lax with the inspections.

    Actually a fair few evangelical groups get significant funding, resources and inspiration from their US cousins.

  18. Louis says

    ‘Tis,

    We crossposted. Do I owe you a coke? Either way, it appears that sick minds think alike. ;-)

    Louis

  19. Matt Penfold says

    And by the way, comedy aside, we Brits are well aware the our charming overlords are currently doing unpleasant things to a variety of our national institutions. They are displeased that we haven’t turned our prisons, health service and schools into profit making enterprises that they can retire to the boards of when their tenure in government expires.

    Don’t worry, the last bunch of turds did the same, they just pretended to be a bit lefty whilst doing it. Labour party, my arse.

    It will be interesting to see if the G4S debacle makes any difference. Given how some Government ministers have been claiming G4S acted honourably in owning up to their incompetence I have my doubts any lessons will be learnt.

  20. says

    I visited Keswick last summer (got a cousin who lives there). It’s a nice town in a beautiful part of the country, and deserves better than this. The Lakes District also has a hell of a lot of geology going back a long way and jebuskrist I *hate* young-earthers for denying all that interesting stuff in favour of lying bullshit.

  21. RobertL says

    Well – call me a nerd if you must – but I’m disappointed that noone has yet mentioned the world famous Keswick pencil museum, featuring the world’s largest pencil!

    And the WW2 RAF pencils.

    Fantastic stuff!

  22. WhiteHatLurker says

    @Zeno

    In his first letter to me, he asked whether all U.S. citizens wore cowboy hats and drove gigantic Cadillacs. How did he know?

    Supertramp!

    Can we have kippers for breakfast
    Mummy dear, Mummy dear
    They gotta have ’em in Texas
    ‘Cause ev’ryone’s a millionaire

  23. 'Tis Himself says

    baseball isn’t cricket

    Which brings up the age-old question: which is more boring, baseball or cricket?

  24. seversky says

    My family hails from the Lake District. It’s easily one of the most beautiful parts of the country. Even more so than Wales.

    The reason why the UK has so few religious nutjobs is clearly because most of them were exported to the colonies before the Late Unpleasantness of 1776 cut off that disposal option.

  25. sapphire says

    Don’t get too happy about the decline in the CofE. Penties are growing – another American infestation we caught.

  26. says

    Just to stick the knife into ourselves deeper – while America gets snitty about introducing God into education it’s been a legal requirement here for all schools to provide a daily act of collective worship since legislation was passed in 1944 and updated in 1988.

    Us being us of course the majority just ignored the proviso when it outgrew its welcome; a bit like the need to practice with the longbow for two hours a day that was repealed in 1960.