I know I do. When the minimal basics of simple social interactions have to be spelled out, you know you’re in trouble.
I say that as someone who has always been a shy and cautious wallflower, too. If I understood this stuff all along, and you didn’t, you’ve really got a problem.
Of course, an alternative hypothesis is that you’re hanging out with a bunch of predatory assholes who are pretending to be unable to understand social mores so they can violate them.
Another thing that bugs me: if you’re bragging about how you feel safe at an event, so what? I’ve always felt safe in my travels, because I’m a cocky brash guy who has never been seriously threatened in my life, and because most of the events I attend are safe — going to an academic conference is not like walking into a biker bar. To deny someone you want on your side even the slightest reassurance of security because you have to preen about your privileges just tells me that you lack the slightest modicum of empathy.