Jehovah’s Witnesses once again confirm that they’re a mob of dour, po-faced killjoys. Watch MommyJW suck all the joy of of SonJW’s life, in the name of her invisible deity.
Remarkable, isn’t it, that the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving cosmic creator of the universe is so very concerned about a child’s plastic toy…and not even the toy itself, but whether the fictional backstory of the toy accords properly with dogma.
ibyea says
Okay, my friendship with my brother is definitely over. I called him a racist and he threw me a punch. Apparently the statement was true enough that he got violent. Good thing my parents were there to stop us.
He thought that things like The Young Turks was contaminating my mind, without knowing that of course, I disagreed with them many times. He thinks that just because he uses n***r in the “correct context” with his friends, it is all right.
ibyea says
Ouch, fights hurt a lot. I don’t like fights.
Louis says
Condolences Rev BDC. It’s been a while since I’ve had a pet to lose, but I remember the feeling.
Many moons ago I had a cat that lived to 22 and at the end was put down, I remember the look in her eyes, she actually wanted us to do something. Or at least it seemed that way to me, and I tend not to anthropomorphise.
Still there’s always the George Carlin approach to pet ownership… seems a bit callous to me, but it made for a good joke on the CD.
Louis
Rip Steakface says
Incidentally, I just argued with someone for about half an hour over the n-word and affirmative action/Black History Month. He (an Asian guy) was saying that the n-word, among him and most people he knew, had changed from a slur to a more general term for anyone who’s a douchebag. I tried arguing that it’s still wrong, but I’m not sure my argument was effective. Does anyone have any suggestions for future arguments?
As for AA, he said it was perpetuating racism because it tells minorities they’re inferior and need help. Again, I tried explaining that it’s not telling them they’re inferior, but that they’ve been forced into an inferior position and is trying to help them get out of that position. Again, I’m not sure my argument was effective. Any help?
John Morales says
Rip
Would he call a black person such, to their face?
Rip Steakface says
I’m not sure, but I leaning towards yes.
Rip Steakface says
…*I’m leaning towards yes, not “I leaning.”
Giliell, not to be confused with The Borg says
Good morning
Rev BDC
I’m very sorry about your dog
*hugs*
ibyea
Shit. No, that’s a douchebag, not a brother
Rip Steakface
With some people, there’s just no help. I have a female friend who thinks that any kind of quota would belittle her and mean she only got a job because employers have to reach their target. She simply denies the well-studied fact that employers actually don’t hire her despite her qualifications because she’s a woman.
Many people have this screwed idea of “the best person for the job”
This sucks at two levels:
-There are usually many people who are 150% able to do the job, but only one gets it.
-it’s not possible to tell who is the best person frome a resume even if the concept were valid.
++++
I haz frustrated.
On the plus side I now know why my kitchen lamp died: When my dad hung it up, he shortened some cables. The cables have a very light colour-marking. No colour vs a thin strip of some very light blue like the comment highlight here (copper cables with transparent isolation so, not just a blue line on white). My dad’s partially colour-blind. He connected the cables wrong. Dunno why it worked those 4 years, but it kind of explains why the lamp behaved strangely sometimes and why the cable got molten in a big lump.
On the minus side: Bought the same lamp again. But they slightly changed the part that’s attached to the ceiling, so I have to drill new holes. Can’t do so because today’s a holiday.
*gnarf*
+++
Funny:
I just handed the little one (2 1/2) a small plastic animal.
“Do you want an Okapi tp play with?”
“Yes, that starts with an O!”
No, she’s not a genius. Her sister’s current favourite game is “which animal starts with letter ….” and “Okapi” is one of the favourites for O.
Forelle says
Ogvorbis at 50:
I suppose your ideas about decoration haven’t been taken from a church?
Louis says
Ibyea,
If it helps at all, the three men who were my “best men” (why have just one?) at my wedding are more my brothers than my brother. Sure, I’m genetically and parentally linked to my brother, but as a “brother of my heart and mind” he’s a very poor fourth to those guys.
It saddens me to say that, but it’s not something entirely of my choosing or doing, like with your brother I’m guessing.
If the fool is going to try to maintain his cluelessly racist stance by chucking punches, well I’m not going to say he’s not worth bothering with, that’s not my call, but he is perhaps worth reminding of the old adage: “Ain’t nobody in this life above an arse-whooping!”.
Let’s leave the nature of that arse-whooping vague shall we? Physical, verbal, intellectual, public, private, whatever. Personal I favour four of those all at the same time… ;-)
Louis
Beatrice says
And my dad used the day off to go to our garden and work. Jesus would be turning in his grave if he had one.
Giliell, not to be confused with The Borg says
beatrice
Well, drilling and hammering and any kind of loud stuff is forbodden in the house on any Sunday or holiday because people sometimes need a bit of quiet, too, and I fuööy support and respect that.
carlie says
It doesn’t matter what he thinks it means, it matters what society thinks it means. Besides, changing a slur to a slur really isn’t a change.
When minorities get every single benefit that white people do, then it will. Otherwise, it’s leveling the playing field. It’s a temporary crutch that we obviously still need. If he thinks racism is over, ask him why so many people think the president was born in Kenya.
Beatrice says
Giliell,
Oh, I kinda jumped on that prematurely.
That sounds reasonable. Unfortunately, people in my building don’t extend that kind of courtesy to their neighbors so the possibility didn’t really cross my mind. It’s been quiet for now, but I can guarantee that at some point today someone will drill something or start rearranging heavy furniture… Maybe they’ll wait for 10pm to pass to make it really delightful.
(People who live above me are very… special. Dragging something heavy across the room around 2am kind of special.)
Alethea H. "Crocoduck" Dundee says
Hey CripDyke, I didn’t mean to jump on you very hard.
It’s not established internet canon to always use rot13 where there are no spoiler tags, but it has been used often enough in enough places to be familiar. I think it’s well worth adopting here, because we have no other sensible options.
Also: PHAGVAT!!!
Erülóra Maikalambe says
Cicely
I’m not sure, but it’s possible I guess. It hurt like hell for a few hours on day 1 before I finally put it on a heating pad. A few minutes after that suddenly the pressure went down. There has still been a bit of pressure since then, so I had assumed the membrane was intact because I assumed if it were ruptured or perforated then the pressure would equalize. But I really don’t know.
John Morales
That’s better. ;-)
There especially weren’t any sequels starring the younger cousin, because those would have been awful.
Sili says
Does this mean you’ve decorated for the Walker reëlection?
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Instead of sequals they should have made a amusement park. Highland: there can be only fun!
McCthulhu is no true Scotsman. says
Can someone tell the kids doing the SSA ad in the sidebar that if they’re going to be America’s future that they are going to have to learn to proofread ad copy? Maybe if I send them some cash they can hire an editor.
myeck waters says
Hugs to Rev BDC and everyone else who has lost a furry loved one.
Caine
Tell me about it. Our doggy is 15, and among the very large number of things she has forgotten is that no matter how desperately she wants to be outside, we can’t open the door while she’s blocking it.
My wife left for work before I woke up this morning. When I did, I found that the doggy had taken a shit in the dining room and later stepped in it and tracked it into the kitchen.
“The Natural” was a remake of “Star Wars”.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Id say to bring it up with JT but not sure how criticsm will be taken
Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort says
@Ing:
Oh god, I’m actually laughing out loud.
Erülóra Maikalambe says
Which was a remake of Wagon Train. ;-)
myeck waters says
Hmmm…I don’t remember there being light sabers in Wagon Train….
Ye Olde Blacksmith - in bed with absolute evil and a Spocktopus! says
Condolences, Rev & all others that have experienced loss.
*hugs* to all!
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Thanks everyone.
carlie says
I’m so bummed out. SallyStrange alerted me to the existence of sundown towns, which I had somehow never heard of before. Went looking, and found that not only was pretty much every other city in the bi-state area one, yes, my hometown itself is confirmed to have had a written ordinance of same. database here. That explains a lot, but fuck. It changes my perception of everything, you know?
I think I’ve given up on him revisiting the whole last debacle and trying to learn anything from it. He seems to be just ignoring it and deciding maybe not to write about such things any more.
carlie says
Also, I’m sorry about your dog, Rev.
Ogvorbis says
Every time I see a movie that has Tim Curry in the cast, I wait, on the edge of my mental seat, for the clothes to come off to reveal him in fishnets and a leather bustierre (sp?).
Sympathy and grog. Losing a family member sucks.
No. Wizard’s quarters.
Rey Fox says
And the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.
Rey Fox says
You think you’re proud, check this out:
Goooo Idaho.
Erülóra Maikalambe says
Wow, I screwed that up. I was thinking Trek instead of Wars. Damn. I blame my little side project, which has more in common with ST than SW (though still considerably different). Just have Trek on the brain at the moment. In fact, I need to get that off my mind right now because it’s distracting me from getting actual work done.
Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform says
Rev., I’m really sorry about your and your brother’s dog. I’m glad you were able to say goodbye to her at home.
RahXephon:
Agreed. Which reminds me, I need to borrow A People’s History of the United States from the library again and finish reading it.
Josh! {{hug}} Fucking airlines. Also, I totally get what you mean about being “on” for long periods of time, and you do that much better than I do. I start crapping out after a 90-minute job interview. I’m glad that, at least, the accommodations are luxurious and you have good friends to drink with.
Ibyea, yeesh. Sympathies.
irenedelse says
Dammit, life, why do you chose to remind me “what family is for” by making me the needed one?! Needing, I know how to do. Supporting others with emotional breakdown and very realistic fears of an horrendous outcome to them and their children, that’s scary.
(In other world, someone very close to me is going through a messy divorce from a narcissistic manipulative person. The Very Close One has barely managed to free xieself from Narcissistic Manipulative Person’s emotional clutches, but now NMP is trying to get through to their 18 month old kid. And it makes the VCO more vulnerable, again. Ugh. I’ll have to use up all my reserves of zen this month, I’m afraid.)
/rant over. Needs must. I’ll go over there and be with the family member and kid for a few days, then we’ll see.
opposablethumbs says
@ Happiestsadist last thread (or last page) somewhere those photos of the skulls are really wonderful – I love ’em.
.
Rev. BDC, I’m really sorry about the dog. Sounds like you gave her a good life and a good death, which is the best anyone could ever do. {{hugs}} if I may.
.
Tim Curry does indeed have an irresistible voice – but Alan Rickman’s is even betterer!
.
ibeyea that really sucks about your brother. He’s being a total arse and I’m sorry. Ugh.
keenacat says
Rev.,
so sorry about that goggie. What is it with so many pets dying recently? :(
That could’ve well been a perforation. They are often small and re-close shortly after happening, so this could be why there was no complete pressure release.
Re weird pitches: When the sound is muffled for some time due to a middle ear process, the inner ear gets oversensitive (trying to compensate for the lack of middle ear transition). Should resolve soon.
__________________________
Regarding my “situation”:
Will have Teh Talk(tm) with exboyfriend in half an hour. I has lots of sad and despair. This sucks so bad. I guess he will not want to get back together, but I think you people are right about him needing to get his shit together anyway, so yeah… Fuck.
I have another appointment with a therapist at the womens centre on thursday for moar crisis intervention, but I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts or pressure to self harm lately, so there’s a silver lining. I am adapting to the prospect of being single again, but it still feels like “ZOMG I will be utterly ALONE.”.
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says
I doubt that there are more pets dying, it is because this thread has become a social spot. Many of the regulars are more willing to share details about their lives that they would not have disclosed a couple of years ago.
onion girl, OM; social workers do it with paperwork says
Ha! I have some free time! The reason I have free time is pissing me off, but it’s also bringing me here. I’m currently waiting at court in a witness room while one of my staff is testifying instead of me. She’s testifying instead of me because the attorney who brought her in is being a jerk. He knows this is her first time testifying, he knows she has less experience and has only been on the job six months, and her thinks he can trip her up and gain some points for his client by bringing her in instead of me; I am usually the one to testify for our program. And he pulled some bullshit about “maybe” wanting me to testify later so I can’t even be in the courtroom to support her.
Guess who’s going on my shit list?
But in good news, I am now the coordinator for our local humanist group which I will not name because I’m paranoid about keeping this nym separate from my meat space life. But I’m excited and looking forward to have more diversity be the first thing on my agenda.
I attended the Women in Secularism conference and really had a wonderful time. I’ve been watching all the fallout with, to be honest, some delight-not at the shitstorm that folks have been slammed with, but because it looks like some actual progress and action will come of it. It would be wonderful if we could simply point out sexism and form a taskforce to address each inequity, but if the only way we can make change is by kicking, screaming, shouting and badgering sense into people, then I’m swigging some chamomile tea with honey and getting ready to scream. As both PZ and Greta have said, this is why we must keeping talking about it.
Anyway…this took forever to type on my phone, and they STILL haven’t finished with my staff. Argh!
And now to post and reload the page.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
I’m not going to lie, I got really sappy over on the “Atheism should be science and social justice” post.
But I stand by what I said there.
I ♥ the Horde.
Pteryxx says
Content: this long post is all about sundown towns, secrecy thereof, and links for further reading.
——
carlie: Thanks for finding that database on sundown towns.
I started researching the source articles there, and found that quite a few have vanished from the newspapers’ archives. Sometimes reader comments say not to talk about it because it’ll just cause trouble.
Resources I did find:
http://www.journal-news.com/news/content/news/stories/2006/07/09/hjn070906Expulsions.html
—
The widely cited Dallas Morning News article is gone, but a copy is quoted here:
http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/archive/index.php/t-52663.html
—
—
Movie review for the 2006 documentary “Banished”:
http://movies.nytimes.com/2007/09/26/movies/26bani.html?ref=movies
—
And an extensive Flash-based interactive article, “Leave or Die” in the Austin Statesman:
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/shared/news/interactives/lod/index.html
Lynna, OM says
Mitt Romney has shown his war-mongering hand … again, and probably unwittingly, as is his wont.
Link
WTF? It is not a good thing when talks produce “no substantive agreement” — unless you are looking for excuses to go to war.
Joe Klein of Time magazine wrote about the Bolton/Mitt love fest. Excerpt:
Pteryxx says
…There’s an “Atheism should be science AND SOCIAL JUSTICE” post??
Guh… now I’m all teary eyed and sappy too. *goes to read*
Predator Handshake says
Rev: condolences for your doggie.
Re ears: When I was a kid I got ear infections all the time; my mom always knew because the stairs in our house were right next to her bedroom door, and she would hear me falling down them in the morning. At some point the doctor told her if I got another one they would do tubes, but I never got that next one.
Until last summer, when I thought I had some impacted wax and put some peroxide in there to clean it out. It didn’t work, but it still took me a few days to go to the doctor. I got a weird rushing-water type of tinnitus, called a nurse hotline and went to see my GP. He wrote me antibiotics which knocked it down after three or four days of constant writhing pain (i.e. I was kicking my legs about 15 minutes after my hot pad cooled down), it seemed to have gone away. It came back a couple weeks later, I got a stronger antibiotic, and the process repeated two or three more times. I finally found an ENT that took my insurance, who gave my ear a good look inside and told me it was a fungal infection for at least a few of those times I had been taking antibiotics. He sprayed some fungicidal powder and it cleared up by the next day. Now I put an iso-alcohol/vinegar mix in my ear when I feel like I’ve gotten too much water in there, and haven’t had any bad things flourishing in my ear for several months.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Why in the sweet fuckall does julietdefarge even bother to post here, given that every. single. point. sails straight over her head and into the wild blue yonder? Aargh. /rant.
carlie says
Gee, where have we heard that before recently?…
Erülóra Maikalambe says
I had frequent ear infections as a child. One time it was particularly bad and I ended up with tubes. That infection left me with some permanent but mild damage (constant high-pitched ringing, 3 of them, around 13-19kHz, and can’t really hear anything higher than that).
After grade school I didn’t have any more infections until I was 25. This time I don’t think I had an ear infection, but rather a sinus infection that caused the Eustachian tubes to seal up. I haven’t had any fluid in my ears. Took an antibiotic, and now the nasal congestion is gone, and the Eustachian tube has been getting better. Today I can kind of pop that ear by moving my jaw, almost as well as I usually can. Hearing is still screwed up though, which tells me that the problem isn’t just about the pressure being off.
It’s just weird how that ear is right now. I’m wearing an earplug because high-pitched sounds are just off enough that it’s disorienting. It makes it sound like there’s two sounds instead of one. But in addition to the annoying dissonance, it’s like my brain is trying to parse the sound difference as being an echo. So it keeps seeming like my left ear is on a 0.1s delay. My work phone right now is the most gawdawful screech imaginable. And it’s hard to listen to music.
I hope this doesn’t take much longer to heal.
keenacat says
Was begging him to come back but he won’t.
Am a hot mess right now, don’t know what to do. :(
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
I’m sorry to hear that, Keenacat.
But the way he treated you sounds incredibly cold and selfcentered.
Pteryxx says
Aww Keenacat. *offers anklehugs*
Give yourself time to get over the shock. Fluffy things? USB chocolate? MLP:FiM episodes on youtube? whatever it takes.
dianne says
Was begging him to come back but he won’t.
Am a hot mess right now, don’t know what to do. :(
I’m sorry and I know you feel like crap right now, but it’s better this way in the long run. Also what Pteryxx said. If it helps, there’s always someone on the endless thread to chat with. The conversation may be a bit random, but it might help you feel less alone for a bit.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
I need firewood. Like a creationist needs a proper education. FIREWOOD. LOTS OF FIREWOOD. *eyeballs back deck, axe in hand*
And I can’t find that damn dead file. ARGH!
keenacat says
I feel I can never get over it and will always be alone. :( I know it’s bullshit, but that knowledge is purely rational and unable to reach my emotional side.
I guess this is sorta normal after 5 1/2 years, but still.
My sister just got home, we’ll have pasta soon.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
And yeah what Dianne said. I’m almost always around unless I’m roaming around in the woods for a few days.
Look, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t feel that way right now, and I really hope I’m not talking out of my ass, but you made him sound like the kind of guy who’ll let you down just when you need his support most. You don’t need that shit. No one does.
Audley Z Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
[DarkFetus related post!]
Not caught up.
I have a new pregnancy pet peeve! I’m sick of friends and family sizing me up and then declaring that the DF is a boy. You can’t tell by looking at my shape, herp a derp!
keenacat says
TLC,
it’s somewhat more difficult, but you know what?
It feels good to know you guys are rooting for me. Thank you.
keenacat says
You want to tell me the peepee is not making a bulge in your belly? You don’t say! O.O
Audley Z Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Keenacat:
*hugs!*
*friendship wrapped in a bow!*
*hot cocoa!*
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Keenacat:
Breathe. Cry. Toss a few glasses in the sink and break them. Scream out loud as necessary. Have a drink. Eat chocolate. Talk. Breathe. Cry some more. You’ll be fine.
The fact that you were begging is not good, Keenacat. It points to a basic imbalance in the relationship. You’re better off without it. What if he agreed to come back, you get married, you get knocked up and then he decides he wants out? Try to focus on the long run here. I know it’s hard, but you will be alright.
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says
Audley, if anyone wants to swing an object hanging from a string over your belly, get away as quickly as you can.
Audley Z Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Keenacat,
Okay, this is where I do not make a totally inappropriate penis joke!
I think that if my belly had a penis shaped protrusion sticking out, I would go to the doctor immediately. That shit ain’t right.
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says
Yes, Audley, if that protrusion remains erect for more then four hours, you should consult a physician.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Audley,
Well, late in pregnancy, many women’s belly buttons start sticking out. You’ll get a belly-penis! :D
When the time comes, please make sure that the person reading the sonogram is competent and can tell the difference between the umbilical and a penis.
Supposedly, when my parents were expecting my sister, they ran into that problem.
I’ll leave you to go o_O at the relative scale and locations.
keenacat says
Caine
I know you are right and I know it’s the right thing to not get back together. But the feeling of loss was just so overwhelming I totally lost focus and everything. :(
My sister made me coffee and is off to get some groceries for dinner. I think I will be ok, but dear FSM I wish I wouldn’t need to go through this.
Richard Austin says
Keenacat:
That sucks :(
Since we’re dispensing useless advice, I’ll say: Acknowledge the feelings, accept them, let them happen, but make sure the rational part remembers that they won’t last forever.
Breaking (easily replaced) things (safely) can be a good way to let out frustration. Find a yard sale, buy a cheap set of old ugly dishes, and spend the afternoon throwing them into a garbage can. When you get done, you can even use the shards in artwork if you like.
keenacat says
“Jeebus CHRIST your son is hung like a HORSE!!”
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Keenacat:
I know. Heartbreak sucks something awful. I second Richard on breaking stuff, which is why I mentioned breaking glasses in the sink (easy clean up.) A trash can is even better. You might not feel like breaking things now, but keep this in mind for a bit further on.
{many, many hugses}
Audley Z Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
E,
My doctor’s office has one ultrasound tech and she is fucking awesome. I know she can find and distinguish the umbilical cord, ‘cos she did when I saw her for my last ultrasound a couple of months ago. (She also made a comment about DF doing “jazz hands”, which still makes me laugh when I think about it.)
Belly Penis is going to be the name of my jam band. :)
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
*falls over laughing*
jazz hands!!!!
*keeps laughing*
Audley Z Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
See? I told you that she was awesome. :D
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says
Tales from the dark fetus.
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says
For the youngsters, this is what I was referencing.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
I found a Spotify playlist of all 9 Beethoven symphonies. In order. :D :D
Pardon me, I’ll be back in a few hours.
Richard Austin says
Esteleth: which performances?
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Szell leading the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra back in 1962.
Richard Austin says
Cleveland isn’t bad. No idea who Szell was, but that doesn’t mean much (I’m not as much of a classical music geek as I “should” be). I think I’ve got one with Dohnanyi at home.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
George Szell was the principal conductor back then.
Back then, the Cleveland Orchestra wasn’t “not bad,” it was routinely mentioned alongside the New York Philharmonic.
Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform says
Fucking hell.
Via. The petition could use more signatures.
Keenacat, {{{{hugs}}}. He’s doing you a favor. Really. And Caine is correct about the begging.
Predator Handshake says
Janine: pairs nicely with Garth Marenghi’s DarkFetus.
Walton says
keenacat,
*hugs* if you want them, and best wishes.
I know that feeling – especially the fear of always being alone. And it’s tough. It hurts. Given the circumstances in which your relationship broke up, it must be particularly painful.
All I can say is that I hope you get through this and find happiness. I’ll be thinking of you.
Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform says
Meanwhile, in Hungary…
[snip detailed, appalling, and possibly triggering descriptions of hate speech against Jews, Roma, and GLBT people]
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
FWIW, I struggle with this too. And lately in the last year or so, I’ve been trying to fight it harder. Hence why I forced myself to change my nym from ‘The Lone Coyote’ to its current form.
I think, in some ways, it’s like a defense mechanism… like if we tell ourselves how inferior we are, it negates the need for others to? I dunno, it’s hard to explain. If it is a defense mechanism though, it’s kind of a shitty one… like the tendency of deer to freeze in headlights.
dianne says
@77: Signed, for what the signature of a part Roma American is worth. I’ll just be staying out of Romania from now on. Hungary too.
NitricAcid says
*Wishes he could send hugs to keenacat*
In other news, I’m definitely naming my next D&D character “Sparlock”.
dianne says
I feel I can never get over it and will always be alone. :( I know it’s bullshit, but that knowledge is purely rational and unable to reach my emotional side.
Sometimes you just have to let the emotional side cry it out for a while. Hang on to the knowledge that it will get better and do what you have to do to get through this period.
Giliell, not to be confused with The Borg says
Good evening
Sitting here with the little one dozing in my arms. Guess that after we were fighting all day she needs to be reassured that she’s still loved and we’re still friends.
keenacat
Hugs galore.
Scream, shout, puke, break things. You have every right to be sad, angry and devastated. It’s not like you unfriended a vague acquaintance on FB.
Walton says
Ms Daisy Cutter: The way the Roma are treated in much of Europe is horrific. Back in 2010 the French government, under Sarkozy (who was a racist scumbag; I don’t feel like mincing my words), deported thousands of Roma families in a “crackdown” targeted specifically against the Roma, following a racist scare campaign.
carlie says
Seconding this. It’s ok to acknowledge that you still love him, and that you feel sad. And maybe part of you still thinks you’d be better off with him, and it will take awhile for the rational side to assert itself over that. You’re not terrible, he might not be terrible (although of course we all think he is), it just didn’t work.
I’m glad your sister is there – can she stay for quite awhile? If she has to go home before you’re ready, there are always people around here posting. I don’t think we’ve ever gone more than an hour or so on TET without someone being around. We can’t give physical hugs, but we can still be here.
You might read this and its associated links. It’s not quite your situation, but some of it still applies. I like this quote especially:
opposablethumbs says
keenacat, you seem to be doing a bloody impressive job of keeping yourself together in spite of everything, and I’m so sorry that you have so much to cope with re the whole splitting up business:(((
fwiw I hope that if talking here is even the least smidgin of help, you go on doing so. I appreciate that I don’t know you personally, but just from your posts some things are obvious about you – like being really interesting, intelligent, perceptive and capable. It’s probably not much comfort right now, but I hope you are able to give yourself time and that it won’t be too long before you really do feel it was for the best. {{hugs}} if you want ’em!
keenacat says
Thanks everyone. I can’t overstate this: You people made this crappy clusterfuck suckitude so. much. easier. Thank you.
My sister made pasta that was Teh Orsum(tm), I am stuffed and have a niiiiiice glass of white wine sitting in front of me, next to a pack of TimTams (Kiwis will know them). So I feel much better. I was able to send him a short message requesting a list of our stuff and who it belongs to. We agreed I get to keep the flat (I will be able to pay for it on my own as soon as I start working, which should be next month or 1st of august latest). I love the flat and even without him, it will be home. Actually, I am quite excited at the prospect of shaping it a bit more to my taste. Making him take all his stuff out will also help with managing the breakup. My bestest university friend promised to help me with furnishings. He will drive us to IKEA for inspiration and stuff. My sister will help with decoration (she’s scheduled to visit me for a week in july).
Yes to all of it. I wish it wasn’t so hard.
*sniffle*
Thank you.
MetaMusing(tm) on relationship stuff:
Caine,
regarding the basic imbalance in our relationship you mentioned:
I guess this is a necessary side effect of one partner being less invested, emotionally, into the relationship. It is good to end such a relationship. I shall find a someone who invests as much as I do. And we will breed blue-breasted quails und have kittehs, dammit!
TLC,
*hugses*
I think there are multiple facets.
One facet is “I know I suck so I won’t suffer as much if somebody else says it”, but there is also a facet named “I hope you will object to this and make me feel better”, and it can be quite manipulative. Earlier, after the phone call, I apologized to Teh Ex for doing exactly this: belittling me to make him praise me (and possibly realize he loves me or something). I said earlier I lost focus and everything, but now I’m refocused and some things I said were quite assholish and emotional blackmail. Pain can make us behave like assholes. To others and, foremost, to ourselves. We shall not be assholes.
carlie says
keenacat – you are handling this soooo much better than I would be; you’re doing great.
He dumped you suddenly. Getting treated like dirt for awhile is part of the package. You have no obligation to make it overly easy on him. I’m not saying you should act like a jerk, but don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you lost it and gave him some crap. One conversation (or two or three) where that happens isn’t a big deal.
This is a better post than the one I just linked to: here
Just_A_Lurker says
I have this same exact issue. Crying it out and doing something for yourself is okay and a good thing. I have huge issues when it comes to cry and doing stuff for myself (trained against it growing up and the whole I’m not good enough thing). If you have this same problem, I’ve found it helpful to cry it out by crying over other things. I hardly cry over what I really want to cry about but crying over the movie/book/etc helps me get it out and feel better. For doing stuff for myself I have to dress it up as doing something for someone else. Like if I need time alone I get something set up for the Little One like going to the park with grandparents. So it’s a good thing for her but I get rewarded too and I get to watch the movie I can’t watch with her around or read uninterrupted. My rational side can’t reach my emotion side so I get sneeky like to work around it.
Hugs, if you want them. It’s a shitty thing to go through. I hope it gets better.
keenacat says
I’m at hers right now and I will stay until sunday. I am glad to be with her. She is sharing some of my pain, as does the rest of my family. They are also “breaking up” with a constant in their lives.
.
opposable thumbs
Thank you. It is so, so comforting that People On The Intertoobs(tm) commiserate like this.
jeebus cripes, people. *sniffle* It is comfort. Virtual hugs may be virtual, but there are real, actual people behind them who care. That is all that matters.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Keenacat:
That’s the ticket! I went through this sort of heartbreak with my ex, bad doesn’t begin to cover it. It wasn’t a very long time after the break up until I met Mister. We were the best of friends for a couple of years, then it dawned on us that we wanted to be more than best friends, yada, yada, yada. We had our 33rd anniversary this year.
Before I met him, though, I was absolutely positive that ex was *the one* and there wouldn’t be another and if there was, it couldn’t possibly be as good, etc.
The upshot to all this is that I was wrong on all counts. :D
Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort says
@keenacat:
*gives you virtual Internet hugs*
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
Keenacat: I think you have something there, actually. An angle I didn’t look at.
Pteryxx says
…
Heck, JAL, thanks for this. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing for months without quite being able to pin down what’s going on. (Free therapy, woohoo!)
keenacat says
carlie,
I officially love CaptainAwkward.
JAL,
You are a smart, smart woman. I will aspire to be like you.
TLC,
I think this happens quite often. We try to demonstrate to somebody how much. we. HURT. and in the process, we hurt ourselves even more and behave in a way we wouldn’t want somebody else behaving towards us.
I try to be more aware of it.
cicely. Just cicely. says
*booze* for Rev. Sorry to hear about your/your brother’s dog. It’s good that he got to spend some time with her, and that she didn’t have to deal with going to the vet’s.
–
Erulora
Mine did the hurt-like-hell to sudden-pressure-release thing. The pressure release came when the eardrum burst. The ear was still messed up, though, because I had a sinus infection as well, and the Eustachian tubes were apparently swollen (or something). It took me two sequential courses with the antibiotics to get rid of the infection.
And all of this, mind you, from a sudden-onset allergy attack; fine in the afternoon, eyes-puffed-shut allergic in the evening, burst eardrum by 9:00 a.m..
–
*hug* for irenedelse. That is a sucky situation, for sure.
:(
–
Oh, yesssssss!
–
We can’t do much in the physical department, but we do hella good emotional support!
:)
–
Beatrice says
Jesus…
Signed.
dianne says
Jesus…
Signed.
My first reading of this was “Jesus signed.” It made an interesting mental image.
Pteryxx says
Intelligent Design! *winces and crawls under something*
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
A (somewhat violent) girl I used to be friends with got in a drunken fight with another girl and got a bottle smashed on the side of her head, right across her ear and cheek. For weeks afterwards, yellow stuff came out, in huge thick globs. Big thick yellow pus-blobs. Like her ear was vomiting.
onion girl, OM; social workers do it with paperwork says
Popping in briefly to highlight this from JAL:
I watch, with some devotion, several crime/procedural tv shows. They frequently cover the topics and types of people I encounter in my day-to-day job. Of course, at work, I’m a licensed professional social worker; I need to be in control of my emotions and maintain my professionalism and objectivity. And then I go home and watch Law and Order SVU (yes, really–they actually get some things fairly accurate, and Richard Belzer is teh hot.) or Criminal Minds (Oh, Matthew Gray Gubler…I’ll be in my bunk.) and sniffle out all the crap I couldn’t fall apart about during the day.
Therapy via fictional surrogates. ;)
keenacat, I don’t think we’ve met since I’ve been all but non-existent on TET in recent months, but I wish you the best and send *hugs*.
cicely. Just cicely. says
*hugs&chocolate* for keenacat. Cold comfort, but that’s exactly what he sounds like to me: cold comfort. Not someone you could rely on to be there for you, when you really needed him. Better to let him go now, than <twisted humor> have to push him out the airlock later, with greater loss of investment </twisted humor> .
–
*appalled gape*
So Romania and Hungary want to be the new Nazi Germany?!?
–
And they will be awesome kittehs, and you will share their scrapes and mischiefs with us!
:)
–
Lynna, OM says
An article in The NY Daily News about a 14 year old radio announcer who admires Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck is disturbing. Suffer the little children to suffer from brainwashing and disinformation.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Once again, I seem to be all that is wrong with Pharyngula. Leader of the Magpies or some such. (Not that I mind that, I likes magpies!)
Anyway, looks like a good time for Evil Incarnate* to take a break. I shall, from somewhere, summon the motivation to finish Bender’s Duckie**.
*This reminds me, I once briefly used a nym I still like very much: Incarnadine.
**It is really (really, really, really, really, really, really) difficult to summon up the motivation to finish the mono-duckies. It just feels like you never get anything done. I shall save Ninja Duckie for last.
Sili says
Yes!
I get to keep my good kids next year! Go me!
Sili says
You spelt “awesome” wrong.
Give my best to the ratties.
Ogvorbis: Ignorant sycophantic magpie. says
Funny. I actually felt a little jealous that xe was pointing all of hir venom at you and not me (I guess you are more eloquent and pithy?). I pointed out that others were commenting on privilege and got a whole rash of shit. Weird.
Richard Austin says
I just ate a cupcake*. I thought of all of you. <3
* A real one – white cake with a creamy vanilla frosting. And those little round confetti sprinkles. I have awesome coworkers.
cicely. Just cicely. says
Caine:
:( :( :(
(Short break?)
–
carlie says
Here, have this. You’re welcome. :)
carlie says
Noooooooo… come back soon.
Pteryxx says
Caine and Ogvorbis: and I’m apparently Baal’s… uh… idol. Yay?
Louis says
Caine,
You get back here right now. Do not let pseudonymous fuckwits on the internet anno…
….waaaaaaiiit. That was about to get staggeringly hypocritical on my part wasn’t it?
Okay, let them annoy you, it’s completely okay, just don’t go away! Because if you do I will have to completely unironically link to Motley Crue’s “(Girl) Don’t Go Away Mad” in the hope that you actually just go away. As in go away not mad and come right back…
…I’m not doing this very well am I? I’ll come in again…
…You = Great. Therefore You = Stay here. Okay? Okay.
Don’t make me come down there.*
Louis
* Just this once, just for you, as a special treat, a one time only thing I will not repeat, I did not chose this phraseology as any kind of deviant double entendre.
chigau (違う) says
I don’t like magpies.
They pick on my cat.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Sili:
♥ I will give them all a pet from you.
Ogvorbis:
No, I’m just more…vituperative. And vitriolic. You shouldn’t feel jealous, after all, you are my White Knight, remember? I couldn’t ask for finer, either. ♥.
Cicely:
Yes! Not even a break yet and I really do have to get some needlework done. I do. One more serious push I can get this done and get to work on a ‘lots of colours’ duckie. :D
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Carlie:
I will, I promise! I have to get some work done, rather than arguing with some twit (baal) and derailing a thread.
Pteryxx:
:laughing: That is one of the funniest things I’ve read in days.
Louis:
But…I’d feed you and give you beer! Home brewed beer*! Okay, okay, but if I’m seen in that thread, slap me silly and tell me to get back to work.
*Speaking of, the baby Imperial Russian Stout is doing well. Okay, back to work.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
Ah homebrewed beer.
I thought some of my big and easy bottle brews looked clear enough to refrigerate, but it’s just wishful thinking, I think.
I have the equivalent of roughly thirty beers in my cabinet… and yet can’t drink a single one until it’s ready.
Feel sorry for me!
Just_A_Lurker says
Oh Caine! I forgot to tell you to give our love to your new ratties! Little One was all excited and wanted to draw another picture but ended up doing on one of her “make a rat palace and beg for a pet” fits. XD
We did distraction with playing in water stuff at the park. We’re doing the same thing tomorrow too. We can’t use the pool here because management had refused to keep up with it. Mainly due to assholes in complex fighting and throwing glass in there. So the pool has been closed and will be closed for the foreseeable future. =(
——-
Thank you all for the props on my ideas. However, I really can’t claim credit or smartness on my part for it. It was a defense mechanism I’ve done forever since crying was shamed and punished in my household. I finally clued into what I was doing, why and doing it on purpose when I was a teenager. The do something for someone so I can do something for myself came up when the Little One was born to keep me from burning out. It helped keep the guilt away usually too.
Louis says
Caine,
Good to have you here. Home brewed beer….I’ll be right over. I need to Approve the Rats anyway. I have a certificate and everything.
As an aside, am I being utterly obtuse in that thread in your opinion? I thought I was being clear but the usual suspect has decided I’m the epitome of evil this week. ;-)
Louis
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Job interview went well today. Am a strong candidate. Hope I get this one, it’s more actual work, and tougher hours, but an easier atmosphere and a promotion.
Louis says
GO TEAM ING!!!!!
Louis
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
I’m rootin for you, ING MATRIMONIAL COLLECTIVE.
AJ Milne says
Caine, Fleur du mal says
TLC:
Aaaw, poor Coyote. :pats, rubs head, hugs:
JAL:
Thank you!
Jesus, some people. Effing asswipes.
Louis:
:Reads: Okay. No, I don’t think you’re being obtuse. I do think there are too many angles when it comes to the term in question. Initially, I thought I understood it, then it turned out I didn’t understand it the way it was meant.
I get your initial objection and I get that it was a minor one to begin with, certainly not worth all the fussing which is going on. One thing which jumps out on me is the usual thing – I need more education. Nothing new there!
Collective Ing:
Yes! Good news, I hope this works out for you.
Louis says
Caine,
More education? You and me both, sister, you and me both. :-)
Thanks by the way. Kindness and effort much appreciated.
Louis
opposablethumbs says
:: waves to cicely and carlie, fellow discerning appreciators of the mellifluous Voice of Alan Rickman :-D ::
keenacat, I’m glad if it helps even just a little, knowing that there are all these strange people dotted here and there around the world thinking about you and the situation you describe – I wouldn’t presume to think I know all about how it feels, not by a long chalk, but I can certainly relate to what you’re coping with.
Caine, I suppose we have to admit you’re allowed to take a break – we just don’t have to like it.
Go Ing!!!! Yay for a good interview, and tentacles crossed!
Louis says
Opposablethumbs,
NEVAR!
Since I have been discussing the is/ought fallacy elsewhere I might as well use it:
Caine-less-ness IS a universal bad. Therefore it OUGHT never to happen ever.
QED. With knobs on. And frilly bits. So there. Ner ner ner ner ner.
Louis
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Louis:
Eeek! :Scurries off to work more before she gets caught:
Louis says
Keenacat,
I haven’t failed to notice your plight, I just have nothing useful to say other than:
DON’T BELIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SIDE IT’S AN EVIL CONSPIRACY BY THE REPTILOID SPACE LIZARDS FROM SPACE WHO CONTROL THE WORLD TO MAKE YOU NOT FULFIL YOUR POTENTIAL. THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BE PERFECT IS TO BE SHELDON FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY CROSSED WITH BRUCE LEE, JACKIE CHAN, A WOMAN GIVING BIRTH TO 12LB TRIPLETS, SPOCK, AND A LITTLE KNOWN BUDDHIST NUN WHO HANGS WEIGHTS THROUGH VARIOUS BITS OF HER GENITALS. (i.e simultaneously the most caricatured, hackneyed, stereotypes of toughness and logic…well apart from the woman giving birth, she really IS tough and does exist, I think this means I recommend pethidine, gas and air and a spinal for your pain at minimum. I lost track of where this was going a while back…)
Failing all of that crap, would you accept a virtual hug and shoulder? And this large box of {insert luxury of your choice here} as some material substitute and brief bringer of joy?
Hang in there, matey, let’s face it, there are plenty more clichés in the aphorism! ;-)
Louis
keenacat says
Aw man. :(
I was better earlier and now I has this massive sad again and am crying in the bathroom so I won’t wake up my sister, who needs to go to classes early in the morning.
And my brain is all
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
I’ve been obsessed with beer lately. Big mugs full of foamy, sparkling, golden-brown beer. It’s not supplanted my love of big sticky green buds… yet… but it’s starting to come close.
I dunno if this is a good or bad thing… since I’m not actually drinking it to get truly drunk. It’s mostly the taste and food value… or is that just what I tell myself?
On the upside, beer is vastly cheaper than pot and likely to remain so, barring legalization.
keenacat says
Louis,
perfect timing. Thank you. A box of sooooooft tissues would be awesome, the toilet paper is making my nosey all red and chapped.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
That’s often how it goes. One starts to feel better, and then these thoughts just start popping in totally uninvited.
I don’t even need to point out that being a doctor is a noble, humanitarian, and worthwhile goal, do I? (Even though I just did…)
It’s cliche as hell and probably doesn’t help… but ‘this too shall pass in time’.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Hrumpth.
The blankie I was making for the DarkFetus has failed. The yarn doesn’t hold the stitches well. Too slippery. So, pulling it apart and moving to a new plan. I am now making this in this. In red.
This weekend I have a ceremony of coupledom to go to. On Cape Cod. Looking forward to the event and to the people there, not looking forward to the 7 hour drive.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Bah! Sorry about the html fail.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
Esteleth: Very cool! Looks intricate as hell.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Esteleth, that will be gorgeous and I’m a huge fan of red for teh baybees. :D
Alethea H. "Crocoduck" Dundee says
Moar e-hugz for keenacat.
How are you doing? Is your timtam supply sufficient? Your timezone suggests that you may not be in Aus/NZ; if you need a top-up delivery then some of us may be able to help with that.
Louis says
Keenacat, #132 and #134,
USB tissues on their way. These are special atheist tissues too, guaranteed to add evil to your mucus. Hey, I try to think of everything.
Oh and as for “life worthless without him”: NO MAN IS WORTH THAT….
….Okay I am, but NO OTHER MAN IS WORTH THAT….
….Okay maybe Brownian….This could go on a while….
;-)
I’m not one for positive self talk and all that jazz, but never forget that just by adding a few comments into a box on the internet you always immeasurably brighten my and many other people’s days. Imagine what you’re worth in all your glory.
I’m not just saying that, it’s something that perhaps doesn’t get said enough to people since we’re merely interacting through a text box, but IMO decent folk usually shine through. You’re one of ’em, so say “fuck it” to “him”. He made an error, he’ll have to live with that because you’ll do fine.
Well, probably, I mean, don’t overdo those tissues…they’re pretty evil…it could get out of hand, last time there was this hell dimension rift thingy…I was mopping THAT up for weeks…so do me a favour, stop crying, I’d hate to have to go through all that again.
;-)
Louis
keenacat says
My brain is an asshole. I shall put it to sleep now. As expected, venting led to bettering of Teh Sad.
Bawling subsided when I saw that redonkulous picshoo of Vox Day over at his dedicated thread, because in comparison, I am totally unpathetic and lolz don’t go well with bawls.
Just_A_Lurker says
Yeah, they started fighting and throwing glass in there because a homeless person used it as a bath. My stepdad was all ranting about stupid bums and shit, when I asked him “you remember sleeping on the streets a year ago, right?”. But of course, he’s not like those asshole homeless person ruining the pool. Maybe there’s thing about cleaning a pool I don’t get. Dirty = easy, broken glass = not, right? Sooooo how is throwing in glass could hurt someone better than someone bathing in it?
I don’t get it. The manager closed the pool and refused to clean it after the first time it was used as a bath. Then people here got all mad and when the person tried to come back, glass was thrown at them in the pool. Lots of screaming and shouting. The cops were called. I invited the homeless person as my guest to give them first aid and help, that way the cops couldn’t do shit to them. The people who threw the glass didn’t get in trouble of course they ran and hid in their apartment.
It was a shitty situation. I’m still hated here for it but fuck them.
This place also has a resident drug dealer giving kick backs to the manager. Usually this wouldn’t bother me but since it’s meth, there’s 5 kids in that house (which is next to my mother’s apartment), several guns and they bully my family, I fucking hate them.
/vent
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Yes, I think it’ll be great! The pattern is actually pretty simple – 16 rows of migrating slipping and k2tog. The only part that looks tricky is the scalloping on the edges.
The yarn is machine-washable and is supposedly hypo-allergenic. Not sure if the blanket will be when I’m done *glances at the kitty.*
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
What? Vox Day has shown up on the thread about him?
*scuttles off*
keenacat says
Alethea,
I’m in germany. My sis brought the timtam from her trip to NZ and ye gawds, they are awesome.
Louis,
sweet. *pulls tissues from USB slot*
Are they made from factory farmed wood and fetus tears?
I shall try to get some sleep now. Thank you for making me better again. I <3 the horde.
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
*hugs* and *chocolate* and *photo of a cute kitty* and *booze* and *tissues* for keenacat!
keenacat says
Esteleth,
in picture only. He is a frightening appearance.
BEHOLD!!
AND TREMBLE!!
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
He looks like a 12-year-old’s conception of a grown man pretending to be stupid.
Louis says
Keenacat, #146,
Worse. The trees were unethically culled from specially created Forest Destructors in sensitive hardwood areas of rainforest, and in addition to your correct identification of foetus tears as a softener, we at LouisCorp’s Evil Atheist Division have added freshly blended puppies, puréed kittens, and the distilled love of innocent children for Santa Claus.
Box it all up in the dolphin leather boxes and add the complimentary Double Pain Processed foix gras, et voilà!
The trees were also subject to ritual abuse first and told their roots made them look shrubby. I personally poked several of the dolphins with a sharp stick and was very rude about the mothers of those kittens.
Louis
Just_A_Lurker says
Aw, damn. I’m sorry. =(
I hate when that shit happens. You get all happy and fine doing shit, then BAM! Brain is “oh no you don’t girl, you piece of shit get back to crying! Do nothing because I call you shit, so I can say you’re shit for doing nothing! Mwwahahaaha! The cycle is vicious and pops up out of nowhere.
Lots of hugs and whatever you need to make you feel better. Of course, venting is all good, often helpful and we’ll always be here to listen.
—————-
Here’s what I’ve learned to do to cope when my brain chooses the dark side. Of course YMMV, and I hope I don’t come off wrongly here. It’s just what I do to help with my depressive self.
A reliable way for me to deal with it, is to be all “nanana brain I can’t hear you!” by doing stuff that blocks it out. Like I lose myself in books, so nothing gets in between me and my fantasy world, including my brain. Or listening to music, literally plug your ears up. When it’s really bad I go full blast rock. It’s weird for me but when listening to music my thoughts/feelings usually match the music so playing stupid happy pop shit is totally unnerving for when my brain want to be all evil to me. Your ears may end of hating you and not tell you stuff anymore or start telling you you’re hearing the wrong things. But I blame that on my bad brain not listening to my ears.
opposablethumbs says
If you’re in Germany it’s pretty late, so I hope you manage to get some sleep (and also too you’re a good sister!). If not sleeping, or after sleeping, mocking and despising Vox Day is probably a good option.
It’s 1am for me now – damn damn damn I keep doing this …
Good night Horde.
PS Louis, you’ve really got that is/ought thing down! ;)
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
JAL: I tend to try to cope using my ‘survivor voice’.
If all the world hates me, then fuck the world, I should continue existing and living and doing what I want out of pure spite.
Doesn’t that piss you off, world, seeing a dirty little vermin like me still kicking around, uglying up your neighborhood and stinking up your air?
My ‘survivor voice’ isn’t very nice. But it is very good at surviving painful stuff and pulling up my softer side along with it.
Sometimes it just shouts and then beats the sad self-defeating voice into submission and then drags it along with a metaphorical hook through the chin and under the metaphorical tongue.
Just_A_Lurker says
Aw TLC =( Your survivor voice doesn’t sound nice at all but I’ve used something similar at times. It just isn’t a common or go to method since my depressive self will just lie down to die with it.
When I listen to pop music and my brain tries to be all evil I have this wonderful image that pops up when listening to happy pop music crap.
Evil Brain: “What is this? What is this shit?!? Why are you doing this to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” *melts*
Melted Evil Brain: I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want! I wanna I wanna I wanna* sdklfjsidfuaso
———————-
*song from Spice Girls. Yes, when I was growing up they were popular and I liked them. I’m better now. I used it as a torture device against my Evil Brain.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
JAL: To be fair, ‘Nice’ is what my gentler ‘more human’ side is for. The mental ‘survivor voice’ only has one purpose, surviving. It’ll gladly chew its own arm off if it has to… but would much rather chew off someone else’s. It’s a part of my personality that definitely needs to be held back a lot.
But, that’s why human beings aren’t (or shouldn’t be) defined by just one aspect of their personality.
carlie says
SPECIAL ALERT: I’ve just found out that David Tennant’s Casanova has made it to Netflix Instant. I think I have a date tonight. :)
Is that the woman who was featured on regretsy the other day?
Hm, that sounds similar to the blanket I’m unsuccessfully trying to make for my brother’s impending baby. The pattern itself is easy, but I experienced that awful twisting yarn problem (which I complained about at length) and gave up and haven’t started it back yet. I think I have about 4 inches done. The baby is due in 4 weeks.
Sili, congratulations on the teaching appointment!
keenacat, get a good sleep. We’ll all be here in the morning,
standing around your bed waiting for you to wake up so we can give you plushies and chocolateum, hanging out at a respectable distance in case you need anything. :DOgvorbis: Ignorant sycophantic magpie. says
Well, I do, during warm weather (if it ever comes again) wear a white straw cowboy hat. Does that count?
Oh, Pooh.
Er. Almost Pooh?
carlie says
Vituperative is one of my favorite words. It’s just so expressive.
I also really like plethora.
And of course everyone’s favorite, susurration.
Oh, and tintinnabulation.
So we bought a new computer from newegg. It came yesterday. It doesn’t work. As in BIOS won’t even load doesn’t work. It has to go back. I has an annoyed.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Ogvorbis:
You bet.
AJ Milne, not really pseudonymous, possibly a pfuckwit says
Hrm. I did spell ‘pfuckwit’ right, wright?
(/It’s thundering here. I really like storms.)
Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan says
RevBDC: Sorry to hear that you had to say good-bye to a pet. Sounds like she had a great life, though. At least there’s that.
———————————————-
Keenacat: Begging? That you had to go that far is not good. Really, forget about ever getting back together with your ex. From here it looks like he’s not the guy you can depend on. As for being single, well, yeah, it’ll take some getting used to. Being with someone for so long must leave one feeling rather awkward once the relationship is over. Look on the bright side: Anything you couldn’t do, for whatever reason, while you were with him – total freedom to do it now if you so fancy!
Take your time to mourn, get mad, break something, all that. And it’s certainly OK to admit that you still love your ex – I’m sure there were some admirable things about him, and loving him because of those qualities is good. Hell, whenever you’re ready to start dating again, it might help to keep those things you like about him in mind. Narrow the field a bit.
—————————————————-
I must be getting very combative with age or something: The past two months I’ve seen random stickers with bible verses and trite things like “Heaven or Hell? God gave you a choice. Amen and Amen” stuck on bus stop posts, inside the windows on buses, and even on the bus shelter walls. Today as i was stepping off teh bus home, I saw one of those tracts with “Where are you going to spend eternity?” printed on the cover.
Was tempted to grab it and write “Not with your god, that’s for sure” and leave it for someone else to find. As for those stickers, they seem to be showing up less and less. Maybe the local recruiters are giving up.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Carlie:
Get vituperative on their ass.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
AJ:
Thunder grumbling here too. I also like storms.
Ogvorbis: Ignorant sycophantic magpie. says
The fundogelicals are evolving?
Esteleth, Raging Dyke of Fuck Mountain says
Carlie, the basic pattern of this blanket is slip 1, k6, k2tog, p2, yo, k1), so it is a bit more elaborate. But still, it is a very basic pattern
Ogvorbis: Ignorant sycophantic magpie. says
Caine:
Could it be that ‘OM’ actually stands for Order of the Magpie?
carlie says
keenacat – when you wake up, if you need a distraction try some My Drunk Kitchen videos. They make everything better.
AJ Milne, not really pseudonymous, possibly a pfuckwit says
I’m not particularly closely related to that particular Alan Alexander. So far as I’ve ever heard/been able to determine, anyway. We presumably have some lowland Scot mutual ancestor of that name somewhere, but for all I know, we could be talking multiple centuries.
Pity. Apparently he’s in Who’s Who in Hell. But then, there’s no kinda legacy/officially sanctioned nepotism deal for that like there is at Harvard, anyway, I’d guess.
Yeah. I sorta vaguely wonder sometimes if it’s some latent/unconscious thing related to some primal urge that gives us god worship… Y’know… Storms are powerful, they fuck shit up, so I naturally like ’em, and probably still would even if one of ’em knocked my house down and killed my entire family…
More likely, tho’, it’s just that we only had like two and a half channels on TV when I was a kid, and the storms had way better sound.
kristinc, ~ringy dingy~ says
arglebargle this paper is driving me batshit
Jessa says
carlie:
I think I know what’s causing that, because I had that problem too. When you turn your work to start a new row, do you always turn it in the same direction? If so, that may be your issue. The problem went away for me by alternating the direction that I turned my work with each finished row.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Color me ignorant.
I had never heard of that, but now I have.
Interesting.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Ogvorbis:
Hah! Works for me. :D
carlie says
I’ll try that, thanks!
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Sam has discovered the wonders and tastiness of salad. It makes him happy. :) Poor boy is all confused by the ‘killing me with kindness, all this effing space, all these awesome places to hide and stash stolen goods, companions and incredible, wondrous foodstuffs!’ He started bruxing while I was talking to him a while back, all while giving me the “oh Great Rats, what have you done to me!” look.
Jessa says
Caine: Awwww!
JeffreyD says
Rev BDC – had to do it several times, once as a favour to a friend who could not handle putting her dog down. It sucked every time. Even when you know it is the right thing, it sucks. Think I will go and give the Labradoofus an extra hug and a couple of pork rinds.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Jessa:
:D The dynamics are interesting. Sam is aggressive with Rubin, but I’ve been putting a stop to that, which is working, because I’m actively stopping Havelock from bullying Sam. It was obvious from the start that Havelock was thrilled to have mass amounts of space in which he could get away from his brother (Sam is insecure, therefor clingy) and even more thrilled to discover Esme, who is highly independent and confident.
Sam is now spending more time with Rubin and his time with Havelock is better. Rubin is also reacting to me better, thanks to Sam. All in all, it’s good, if complex. (We’ve never had four at one time before.)
Nutmeg says
Caine: Every time I read about your rats, I picture Granny Weatherwax and Vetinari, snuggled together in a rat condo.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Nutmeg:
Hee. Terrible, ennit? Oh my, Sam just stole a piece of The Paper Queen’s* paper. That’s not going to go over well…
*Esme
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Rats always bring me back to this.
Rats
kristinc, ~ringy dingy~ says
Caine, are your critters spayed and/or neutered? If not, how do you handle the whole “breeding like rats” thing? I’ve known of people having rats fixed, but never personally had any of mine fixed — although I might, if someday I have rats again.
ibyea says
@Caine
By reading about your rats, I am a bit confused. Do you just let the rats roam around the house or do you have a systems of tubes or something? Maybe my reading comprehension sucks. :)
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Rev. BDC, none of mine have reason to hate me.
Kristinc, no, we’ve never had any of them fixed. Esme is the first female we’ve ever had and we will most likely have to take her in to be spayed. I don’t like the idea of neutering the males, because it shortens their lifespan significantly, so I don’t consider it an option. I really don’t want to take Esme in, but I don’t think we’ll have a choice here.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Yeah I just have that movie burned in my skull
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Ibyea, the rats live in my studio, which is *huge*. They’re also allowed the upstairs bathroom, as one of the studio doors opens into it. Only Alfie & Chas ever had run around the whole house free days. The rest of them do shoulder ride to different areas of the house, though.
kristinc, ~ringy dingy~ says
Oh, okay, now it all makes sense :)
From what I remember reading, back when I had rats, the tumors that are so common in the girlies (I estimate 70% of mine had tumors) seem to be related to their reproductive systems, and spaying apparently helps stem that. So it’ll probably be best for Esme anyway.
ibyea says
@Caine
That’s good. Personally, I always disliked the wire cages. It makes me wonder whether it hurts the pets or not.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Kristinc:
Yep, that’s still the thinking, that it’s best in regard to tumor prevention. It’s just psychologically problematic, taking her in. I’m the only person she trusts, it’s a long ass drive to the vet, she gets dumped with strangers, abandoned, yada, yada, yada. It worries me.
Ibyea, probably the majority of pet rats are caged in some type of housing. A lot of rat people construct their own rat habitats, often converting a piece of furniture. (Our Rat Condo is a 6′ tall bookshelf, converted to a 5 story habitat.) Most rat people do not keep their rats in bad conditions or unfit habitats and recognize the need for socialness and ‘out’ time. I simply have the luxury of allowing them to free range and don’t completely lose it when I find stuff chewed to pieces. (Free ranging requires a metric fucktonne of rat-proofing. A kid is less work.)
Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform says
Walton: I’m aware of those deportations, and also of how nastily the Roma are treated in Europe.
Dianne: WWJS: What Would Jesus Sign?
Ing: Fingers crossed, superstitious though it is.
Keenacat:
That … provoked an interesting mental image.
ibyea says
@Caine
About rat proofing, yeah, it must take a lot of work. I was wondering how they don’t get out of the room, considering all the small holes.
kristinc, ~ringy dingy~ says
Yeah Caine, I cmpletely get your worry :( I wish there was some way to explain these things to pets.
ibyea, when I was 14 I let a friend play with my pet rats out in the yard while I cleaned my room. The friend had to leave and instead of giving the rats back to me, she thought an overturned cardboard box on the lawn would be enough to keep them contained *eyeroll* By the time I was aware she was gone, the long and the short of it was I had two lost rats. Outdoors. And it was getting dark. I didn’t have a lot of hope but I went around the yard calling and my girls came running to me. They had huddled in a hidey-hole until they heard my voice. They seemed really, really happy to get back home — from my experience, domestic rats that aren’t completely panicked really do not want to escape from their happy, safe homes.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Kristinc:
That’s a fact. I’m glad your girls were okay! Domestic rats, while they might find outside interesting, know enough to get that it’s dangerous. And it’s not home. Even when Esme goes on shoulder rides with me, she starts trying to run down my arm the second we hit the bathroom on the way back, ’cause it’s home. She is not all that interested in the rest of the house.
Ibyea, rat proofing is not about plugging up holes*, it’s about protecting your stuff from them, as well as making sure there aren’t dangers.
*A rat can chew straight through a wall if they want. If a rat is determined to do this, they can’t be a free range rat, obviously.
The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa) says
Good news, Caine (and Crip Dyke… and Ye Olde Blacksmith…)! I found my worn out file!
I don’t care if God himself whips it out and starts pissing on my yard, tomorrow I get the firepit going.
Um…
How does paypal work?
ibyea says
@caine
Yeah, that too. :)
PZ Myers says
NEW THREAD!