Comments

  4. consciousness razor says

    Jesus? Or a cracker?

    Yes. Crackers are transubstantiations of Jesus, who is consubstantial with his other two selves. Obviously.

  6. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Crackers??? I bought some to go with the chicken/sausage gumbo….

  7. Owlmirror says

    “Paul” is a fine papal name, being chosen 6 times alone, and twice in combination.

    “Zachary”, according to WiPe, was used once before as a papal name, and I’m sure there would be no objection to using it again in combination with Paul.

    I’d say you’re good to go.

    ======

    Another alternate pope, in a universe where James Joyce became a priest:

    Like all Stephenites, he wrote the familiar lapel button with a photo of Pope Stephen, the famous black patch over his blind eye, and the sainted Pope’s famous remark, "What-me infallible?"

    Pope Stephen had totally revolutionized the Catholic Church during his brief five-year reign. Indeed, as the French feminist Jeanne Paulette Sartre said, "This one man has single-handedly turned the most reactionary church on this planet into the most
    progressive."

    It was due to Pope Stephen that the "social gospel," previously preached only by a minority of far-out Jesuits and worker-priests, became the official Vatican policy. By being the first to denounce Hitler and Mussolini, and excommunicating their supporters, Pope Stephen had knowingly risked the biggest rupture within the Church since the time of Luther; but, while nearly 30 percent of the Catholics in Germany and Italy continued to follow their national leaders, over 70 percent obeyed the Pope, and both dictators fell from power.

    (Schrödinger’s Cat, by Robert Anton Wilson)

  8. says

    Well, crackers, sure. But there’s also wine!

    And altar boys.

    (Altar girls in certain select locations, but probably not for much longer.)

  9. Lyn M, Purveyor of Fine Aphorisms of Death says

    I want to read his first papal bull. Ought to give new meaning to the concept.

    PS, LOVE the hat.

  10. robro says

    You could do a lot of good in the job, PZ. It would be the first time that a papal bull wasn’t papal bullshit. I see a lot of possible changes to the eucharist. Instead of crackers, imagine something decent to eat like a really good New York bagel or Southern biscuits. And instead of a sip of wine, why not a few glasses of the good stuff, or a few bottles of brew or shots of Scotch. Plus, you can dispense with all the mumbo-jumbo and just get on with it. It’s all just pretend anyway.

  12. MetzO'Magic says

    Body of… body of… it’s a bit obscured in the archaic ‘diagramme’. Oh wait, it must be… could it be… yes. Body of Cthulhu!

  15. razzlefrog says

    Now that we have a proper, squidly, pope, I have a confession to make: I preferred dolphins to octopi as a little girl and it has weighed heavily on my conscience since.

    Forgive my soul, Your Cephalopodliness, for I have finned.
    RAmen.

  16. d(thunk) over d(MQ) = SQRRAWK! says

    Wait… we need a proper papal conclave first before we can elect PZ as pope :p

  17. pramod says

    This is getting a bit silly. I understand you folks don’t like republicans, but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

  19. consciousness razor says

    This is getting a bit silly.

    We’re well past that point. It was “silly” when she was hired, in the way a trainwreck is silly.

    I understand you folks don’t like republicans,

    I think you underestimate the problem. It’s nothing personal. I’m opposed to everything the Republican party stands for.

    but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    No, I don’t. How is any of this bordering on harassment?

  20. John Morales says

    pramod, looks like people are gonna have to try even harder, if the best you can claim is “bordering on harassment”.

    (Did you even get the actual point of the satire?)

  22. says

    I understand you folks don’t like republicans,

    as consciousness razor said: we are actively against the things the republican party stands for. this dislike isn’t a matter of tribalism, it’s a matter of policy.

    don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    and this is a symptom of one of the things about the republican party we dislike. seriously, criticism isn’t harassment, it’s what you’re supposed to do. How else can a “leader” or “representative” know they’re doing something wrong?

  23. Snoof says

    this is a symptom of one of the things about the republican party we dislike. seriously, criticism isn’t harassment

    Of course it is. Anything except slavish agreement is rude and confrontational. Hasn’t accomodationism taught you anything?

  24. Hurin, Nattering Nabob of Negativism says

    pramod

    This is getting a bit silly. I understand you folks don’t like republicans, but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    In a word, No. It’ll be harassment when she is either out of politics or no longer in cahoots with that mindless rabble of knuckle-dragging reprobates.

  26. says

    This is getting a bit silly. I understand you folks don’t like republicans, but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    It’s called freedom of speech, not freedom from criticism.
    But please, care to explain how a satirical comic that tackles the fact that she stands for everything the rest of the movement opposes is harrasment.
    We’re waiting.
    Maybe it was an honest mistake on your side since you didn’t know what harrasment actually means…

  27. Snoof says

    nomennescio@25

    Snoof? #desp?

    I’m sorry, I have no idea what you just said.

  29. Matt Penfold says

    This is getting a bit silly. I understand you folks don’t like republicans, but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    If you have evidence of such harassment please provide it. Do note criticism, even vocal and vociferous criticism, does not constitute harassment.

  30. No One says

    This is getting a bit silly. I understand you folks don’t like republicans, but don’t you think this is bordering on harassment of Ms. Rogers?

    Of course it is dearie. Would you like another crumpet?

  32. Ogvorbis: strawmadhominem says

    If we do need a papal conclave to declare PZ pope, do we get to choose what substance gets burned to produce the white smoke? If so, I have a suggestion that would make the conclave a lot more fun . . . .

  36. julietdefarge says

    For the zillionth time, communion wafers are NOT crackers, or even remotely cracker-like. They are made of only wheat flour and water, and baked just enough to hold together. Not even any slight browning, like on a saltine. Because they are so glutinous, it can be hard to break them when there is even slight humidity. They are indented to slowly dissolve in your mouth, because you’re not supposed to chew god’s body. (Really.)
    In short, nobody would cross the street to get a lifetime supply of them. If you want to sample one, look for traditional baking supplies and get the “oblaten” that are used to keep lebkuchen cookies from sticking to the pan- it’s the same recipe in a larger size.

  37. Just_A_Lurker says

    julietdefarge

    For the zillionth time, communion wafers are NOT crackers

    It’s a joke.

    In short, nobody would cross the street to get a lifetime supply of them.

    Again, joke.

    They are indented to slowly dissolve in your mouth, because you’re not supposed to chew god’s body. (Really.)If you want to sample one,

    It sounds like you’re assuming people don’t know about Catholic crackers.

    You are being very pedantic and missing the point.

  38. consciousness razor says

    For the zillionth time, communion wafers are NOT crackers, or even remotely cracker-like.

    They are remotely like crackers made of cardboard. That is a fact.

    They are indented to slowly dissolve in your mouth, because you’re not supposed to chew god’s body. (Really.)

    But I don’t think anyone expects the Spanish Inquisition if they do chew on it.

  39. Ogvorbis: strawmadhominem says

    They are indented to slowly dissolve in your mouth, because you’re not supposed to chew god’s body

    Indented? What do they indent? Your tongue? How dense are these fricken crackers?

    Julietdefarge:

    Do you really think that no one on this blog understands either what the cracker is supposed to represent or how it is used? Or is this an attempt to make yourself feel superior to us pagans?

  40. Hurin, Nattering Nabob of Negativism says

    consciousness razor

    I don’t think anyone expects the Spanish Inquisition if they do chew on it.

    No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  41. says

    But I don’t think anyone expects the Spanish Inquisition if they do chew on it.

    chewing a communion wafer is about as difficult to accomplish as chewing cotton candy. i’d actually be impressed if anyone ever managed to really chew one.

  43. says

    In short, nobody would cross the street to get a lifetime supply of them. If you want to sample one, look for traditional baking supplies and get the “oblaten” that are used to keep lebkuchen cookies from sticking to the pan- it’s the same recipe in a larger size.

    Speak for yourself. I often buy oblaten and munch them like other people do crisps, and no, I’m not trying to get that catholic feeling back, never went to church.

  44. says

    chewing a communion wafer is about as difficult to accomplish as chewing cotton candy. i’d actually be impressed if anyone ever managed to really chew one.

    Then tremble in awe, mortal, for I am the chewer of wafers!

  45. sherylyoung says

    I don’t trust her. At all. I’m suspending my donations to the SCA until I have a reason to believe she is working for me.

    I just can’t imagine that in this or any Universe that someone who supported Perry could possibly be the rational human being that the position of director of the SCA would demand.

  46. Sili says

    chewing a communion wafer is about as difficult to accomplish as chewing cotton candy. i’d actually be impressed if anyone ever managed to really chew one.

    That’s why the Eucharist doesn’t follow the Didache which preferred serving the Wine first.