Charlie Hebdo, the French magazine whose offices were firebombed last week because they satirized Mohammed, has turned the other cheek and is trying to kiss and make up with their enemies. Damn those accommodationists! They’ve come out with a new issue, and the cover is a love-letter to the Islamic community.

Love will bring us together.


  1. ManOutOfTime says

    Love Is stronger than hate. The wonderful thing about the Islam brand of godbot is they may be more likely to firebomb your offices for expressing that sentiment. This Hebdo is a brave fellow; and apparently a very sloppy, wet kisser.

  2. Alverant says

    How are their finances doing? What happened to them was tragic, but the conspiracy theory part of my mind points out the firebombing happened at night when no one was there when actual terrorists would be more likely to try it during the day to kill people.

  3. Zinc Avenger says

    Okay. Strikethrough tags clearly don’t work like that.

    Why does Allah need a firebomb?

  4. Gus Snarp says

    @Zinc Avenger: Why does <strike>God</strike>Allah need a <strike>starship</strike>firebomb? –> Why does GodAllah need a starshipfirebomb?

  5. Achess says

    Charlie Hebdo is a satirical newspaper, not a mere magazine. Just sayin’.

    PS: and they are accommodationnists indeed. Last week, after the arson, they said that those who did that “couldn’t be ‘true’ Muslims”… They are quite naive when it comes to religion.

  6. Pierce R. Butler says

    How do we know that one of those guys in the picture isn’t Mohammed?

    Zinc Avenger @ # 4: On FtB, the strikethru style needs a [angle-bracket]strike… (or ~/strike…) instead of just [angle-bracket]s… (ditto). The HTML gods move in mysterious ways!

  7. AsqJames says

    “Love will bring us together” – not according to Ian Curtis it won’t.

    Slightly more on topic…I bought my fortnightly copy of Private Eye today and was hoping for some element of solidarity with Charlie Hebdo. I haven’t read every word yet, but I think the closest they get is a faux Paris Match report headlined “Satirical Magazine Doesn’t Put Mohammed On Cover – Offices Not Firebombed”

    /If I had a subscription…

  8. noastronomer says

    “How do we know that one of those guys in the picture isn’t Mohammed?”

    Exactly! If we don’t have any idea what Mo looks like maybe we’re drawing him accidentally? /shudder


  9. says

    I can imagine the feelings of the arsonists when they see that cover. As Pinhead would put it: “such exquisite pain”.

  10. Berneri says

    Are we really sure the firebomb was thrown by a muslim? I’ve seen nothing of the kind so far in french media. Accusations yes… But no evidence so far, the cyber attack on Charlie’s website has been claimed by some Turkish hackers. But AFAIK, no-one claimed the arson yet.

  11. sispekS fo tnaryT, xelA says

    PS: and they are accommodationnists indeed. Last week, after the arson, they said that those who did that “couldn’t be ‘true’ Muslims”… They are quite naive when it comes to religion.

    That’s actually a quite ingnious reaction imo. You at the same time say somthing that all the moderate muslims will wholeheartedly agree with, while at the same time really pissing off the extremist perpetrators who you simultaneously insult in the worst way possible without mentioning their mothers.

  12. KG says

    Are we really sure the firebomb was thrown by a muslim? – Berneri

    Simple answer: no. AFAIK there have been no claims of responsibility, no French Muslim leaders condemning the issue of Charlie Hebdo, and no demonstrations against the publication. The other obvious possibility is a provocation by elements of the far right. Let’s remember how many people immediately blamed Anders Brehvik’s atrocities on Muslim extremists.

  13. Ing says

    “How do we know that one of those guys in the picture isn’t Mohammed?”

    I thought it was obvious one was?

  14. says

    Ingenious piss-take!

    “He drew a circle that shut me out
    Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
    But Love and I had the wit to win:
    We drew a circle that took him in.”

    The timing suggests that it was probably outraged Muslims who wanted to shut up the publication, not kill people.

  15. Hazuki says

    This is pretty funny when you think about how much undercover m/m stuff goes on in the Islamic world, according to people who have been there.

  16. Sili says

    This is pretty funny when you think about how much undercover m/m stuff goes on in the Islamic world


    So that’s what those niqabs are for.

  17. Draken says

    Mo is the one on the right. He’s in deepcover. The things a secret agent needs to go through…

  18. Dermot C says

    Monado, FCD says:

    9 November 2011 at 6:39 pm

    I wonder how much it costs for an international subscription to Charlie Hebdo?

    Online subscriptions:

    Trial offer 4 issues 10 euros
    Subscription in France 96 euro 1 year
    1 year subscription for overseas French departments, EU and Europe 116 euros
    1 year subscription French overseas territories and rest of the world 140 euros

    For international, department and overseas territories subscriptions, contact:

    Charlie Hebdo
    62, boulevard Davout – 75020 Paris
    Tél. : 0032 2 735 06 36

  19. Dermot C says

    If you wish to send an e-mail of solidarity in French to “Charb”, the Charlie Hebdo, editor, here it is in French; just sign your name after the phrase, “Veuillez recevoir etc…”

    Charlie Hebdo,

    Je vous envoie une petite solidarité du monde anglophone après l’attentat contre votre journal. Je vois que vous avez republié les dessins animés du Prophète et je vous soutiens dans la bataille pour la liberté de la presse et de la libre parole.

    Bon courage.

    Veuillez recevoir etc…

    His e-mail address is:

    The English translation is:

    Charlie Hebdo,

    I send you a little solidarity from the English-speaking world after the attack against your newspaper. I see that you have republished the cartoons of the Prophet and I support you in your battle for a free press and free speech.

    More power to you.

    Yours etc…

  20. kurtbasham says

    @30 peterh
    Hint: Mo’s nickname his sophomore year of college was “Snowball” (Clerks, anyone?)

  21. Smoggy Batzrubble says

    Dear Atheist Sinners,

    Verily the LORD GOD will punish you with genital infections for your slavering support of this disgusting and depraved display of mano-a-mano spit swapping. How do I know? I asked Jesus and the blessed SON of the DEITY gave me the real facts.

    Smoggy: Dear Jesus
    JC: [sigh] Yes, servant Smoggy?
    SB: Jesus, have you seen the magazine cover showing a Frenchie doing the old suck-face with the prophet?
    JC: Indeed I have, and I’m shocked and angry!
    SB: Yippee! Are you really angry? Are you going to smite someone? Are you going to make them suffer in hell for all eternity?
    JC: You betcha Smoggy. That filthy little two-timing prophet has a magma enema waiting for him next time I get my divine hands on him.
    SB: Excellent news Jesus I’d… what? …hey? did you say ‘two-timing prophet?’
    JC: You betcha. Mo’ said I was his bitch, and now I find he’s off French-kissing Frenchmen. I haven’t been that disappointed since Simon Peter’s cock crowed three times (‘crowed’ being the term me and my disciples had for being jacked off into the campfire by a complete stranger) while I was off having an evening of serious BDSM with Pontius Pilot’s Roman hard boys.
    SB: Err… Jesus… are you saying that you and the prophet are an item?
    JC: ‘Were’ an item Smoggy [sob]… ‘were’ an item…
    SB: And this other stuff…disciples being jacked off by strangers around the campfire…that’s not in the Holy Scriptures.
    JC: Well it was originally. You might call them the Holy Scriptures, but to me they were always ‘The Gloryholy Scriptures’ until my Heavenly father discovered my homoerotic scribblings and confiscated them for a severe editing.
    SB: So this thing with Mo and the Frenchman is just a huge betrayal for you, another Judas kiss?
    JC: Hardly, Judas was no betrayer…he was a great kisser though. No one could kiss like Judas let me tell you! The night he ‘came’ up to me in the Garden of Gethsemane we were so into each other I almost swallowed his tongue. Poor Judas, he always got the bad press. That’s because my father didn’t approve of him, thought he was leading me astray. At Least Judas died happy, auto-erotic asphyxiation was always his thing.
    SB: Jesus, how come everytime we chat you contradict the scriptures?
    JC: I never contradict the scriptures Smoggy, the editors and censors worked hard to make them contradict me. All I did was preach love, tolerance, acceptance and the pleasures of hanging out with big, burly, hairy fisherman. If everyone followed my original teachings the world would be a happy place.
    SB: Yes, I can see that.
    JC: Are we done Smoggy, I’ve got an unfaithful prophet to deal with.
    SB: Yes Jesus. For thine is the Kingdom,the Power and the Gloryhole for even and ever.

  22. Stacy says

    Smoggy, that was priceless.* And I like that Jesus.

    * Actually, if you’d compile a bunch of those in a book I bet you could publish it and make a shekel or two.

  23. Gregory Greenwood says

    Smoggy Batzrubble @ 36;

    I vastly prefer your version of christianity, Smoggy. Far less bigotry, hatred and violence. Far more leather, handcuffs and rope bondage, which is awesome if for no other reason than that I can just imagine how the self-righteous clergy would react to that. In public, at least. In private, they would probably pay extra.

    Stacy has a point @ 38. If you compiled all your posts here into a handy book, perhaps a working title could be Confessions of a BDSM Christian, you would make a fortune.

    Of course, some christians out there might be a tad annoyed…

    Still, if the Pope tries to ban it, just think of the sales! Look what it did for The Life of Brian, and that movie was really rather tame…

  24. Pierce R. Butler says

    Yay – Smoggy’s back!!!

    Draken @ # 29: Mo is the one on the right.

    Well, after such a dramatic stint as guest editor, the least CH could do would be to give him a t-shirt….