Comments

  1. Algernon says

    Well I’m not a duchess either, but most people dreaded meeting my grandfather and my hair *does* magically rearrange itself (assuming you mean from any style to poker straight).

  2. Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel says

    Caine:

    Getting weighed repeatedly on hospital scales will do that.

    Oh, boo.

    Sorry ’bout that.

  3. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    TLC, this probably won’t be popular, but…if the ex is pregnant and you’re in the position of being named daddy, consider a paternity test. Just sayin’.

    I see what you’re saying Caine, but without telling everyone her personal life story, let’s just say I trust her. She hasn’t been having sex with anyone else since january, and if she did, it wouldn’t be a guy.

    Besides, the current kid isn’t mine and I’m very much involved in her life, she knows she has no need to cuckold or trick me.

    Honestly, my big fear isn’t so much pregnancy as some sort of weird infection. She has been sick over the past month. I really hate seeing her so stressed out either way.

  4. says

    Oh, ha! I had totally forgotten about that! If I didn’t like “Dr. Audley” so much, I’d use that with my ‘nym.

    Well, in addition to your many other accolades, we wouldn’t want to forget about your Doctorate of Sacred Theology* (honoris causa) from the People’s University of Pharyngula.

    (*The theology in question being, of course, that of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It’s a complicated field of study. I gather that there’s a long-running dispute over the specific forms of pasta to be used in performing ceremonies, and, in particular, whether tortellini is an adequate substitute where ravioli is unavailable for the annual Purification of the Sacred Colander.)

    ===

    (I know, I know. I’m being far too frivolous again.)

  5. says

    Walton:

    I, on the other hand, am perhaps more like (a male version of) Magrat. Or perhaps the Bursar, though I’m slightly more in touch with reality.

    I think the Bursar is a good fit for you, Walton. After all, the only reason the Bursar is often lost in his own world is Ridcully’s being excessively extroverted and bullying, when the Bursar is content to pursue things in a quiet and contented manner.

    type LOTS OF DRYD FRORG P¼LLS every time I start behaving weirdly.

    An excellent suggestion. I’ll adopt it.

  6. Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel says

    Walton:

    I’m being far too frivolous again.

    It’s making me smile. :)

  7. says

    Algernon:

    assuming you mean from any style to poker straight

    Ah, just like mine. So that’s magical hair, is it? Hmmm.

    Walton, remember that Professor Pelc, Prehumous Professor of Morbid Bibliography wears a fake beard in public. A beard isn’t an actual requirement.

  8. says

    Walton being frivolous is a wonder to behold. I, for one, likes it, I likes it a lot.

    (p.s. I like you being king, as soon as you want to be pope, they are are lot of black balls going up that chimney.)

  9. A. Noyd says

    pelamun (#349)

    habits: you’re just used to the kanji being there.

    Sort of. The more fluent I get, the less I “sound out” what I’m reading and just recognize whole words and patterns of conjugation. The problem is somewhat akin to the difficulty of trying to read an English sentence written out phonetically rather than with the standard spellings, so perhaps it’s mostly an issue of practice. Except a majiribun also supplies loads of meaning-content in the kanji and a good bit of grammatical content in the juxtoposition of kanji and kana. (An example of what I mean by the latter is how the きた in 置いてきた reads as a modifier of 置く, whereas the 来た in 置いて来た reads as a separate action.)

    I’m not against Japanese adopting a less convoluted writing system, but the phonological poverty of the language makes finding an appropriate substitute difficult. There are relatively few English words ending in -ly or -ize where those elements aren’t suffixes, but, if not for kanji, Japanese suffixes like 化 or 的 aren’t anywhere near so distinct. Another impediment is that there’s already something of a compromise in the form of furigana, which preserves the things I mention while also allowing the kanji-ignorant access to written materials (so long as their eyesight is up to it, anyway).

    What’s funny is how native Japanese folks will assume that I, as a non-native, have an easier time reading all-hiragana text even though they’ll admit they find majiribun easier themselves.

  10. says

    Sadly, I probably have the most in common with Adora Belle, except I don’t smoke.

    I love Adora Belle. One of my favourite characters in the entire series. Though I don’t think I have a great deal in common with Moist. (I lack the skill to be a professional con artist. And I’m not sure if the gold hat with wings would suit me.)

  11. says

    Algernon:

    Sadly, I probably have the most in common with Adora Belle, except I don’t smoke.

    Why on earth is that sad? Spike is a kick ass, take no prisoners character, who has deep compassion, max intelligence, the ability to get what she wants and a lot of passion. She’s also the only person who can successfully manage Moist von Lipwig, outside of Vetinari. I’d say she’s one accomplished person.

  12. Caz Fans says

    Too unable to post a Grook including picture, but a poem for Walton.

    (!)
    An Ode to Modesty
    Talking of successful rackets
    modesty deserves a mention.
    An exclamation mark in brackets
    never fails to draw attention.

    by Piet Hein translated by Jens Arup

    ;^)

    Cazfans
    Perhaps for Stevarious too

  13. Algernon says

    You don’t vote for kings.

    Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government…

  14. says

    A. Noyd

    What’s funny is how native Japanese folks will assume that I, as a non-native, have an easier time reading all-hiragana text even though they’ll admit they find majiribun easier themselves.

    that’s a case of linguification on the part of the Japanese themselves. It is often believed that Japanese is a unique language which is unlearnable by foreigner, thus reflecting the uniqueness of the Japanese nation. (Though granted, Japanese is hard to learn for a Westerner, that is objectively true, but so are 7,799 other languages)

    Furigana isn’t really used in newspapers and books, except for children’s books. Only exception would be characters outside of the 1,950 (the number keeps changing, but about that) standard character set, though some newspaper write the nonstandard character in hiragana, which is quite ugly.

    Gilliel

    Well, I think this whole discussion about more women COEs in Dax-companies is a bit of smoke and mirrors. It totally doesn’t adress the problems most women have in this country (like the fact that the creche here that was supposed to open in August still isn’t open. I know at least one woman who had to turn down a job because of that)

    Agree. Politicians lack the political will to do anything about the childcare problem, always citing financial problems. Interesting to see though that even on such a rather symbolic issue, the companies failed to deliver. Let’s just see how it’ll turn out…

  15. DemetriusOfPharos says

    Thanks, all.

    Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart:

    It seems like things kind of suck around here at the moment (or maybe that’s just me), but pull up a chair and make yourself comfy.

    Tea? Or beer, perhaps?

    I think I’ll have a drink – a nice strong Scotch. Oh look, a glass of Ardbeg just appeared in my hand! That’ll do nicely.

    As for being stuck – that’s part of why I’ve been hesitant to comment. I tend to be missing context or history, so I’m content to hang back. Strangely, I’m shy enough that it seems any established community, even an online one, is enough to give me pause about speaking up (and sounding like a privileged jerk in the process).

  16. Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel says

    DemetriusOfPharos:
    Don’t worry too much about missing context or history– many of us jump in and out as we please and we’re bound to miss a lot. I can understand that a group like this can be intimidating at times, though, but if you feel the need to speak up, please do!

    The more the merrier, I say.

  17. kristinc, ~delicate snowflake~ says

    Oh, feminist SF authors — I just now remembered Nancy Kress! Beggars In Spain is excellent and Nothing Human is also good.

  18. says

    DemetriusOfPharo:

    First, is it okay if I call you Demetrius?

    As for being stuck – that’s part of why I’ve been hesitant to comment. I tend to be missing context or history, so I’m content to hang back.

    Don’t let that stop you. We get new people in TET all the time. All of us were new to TET once upon a time. Myself, even though I was commenting here when TET started, I avoided it for a very long time, for many of the reasons you cited. I finally took a deep breath and plunged in and have never regretted it for a moment.

    So, recite the Litany against Fear (Fear is the little death…) or whatever and jump in. You’ll be okay. :)

  19. says

    I ordered pizza tonight, my favorite pizza, to celebrate my Clean & Shiny (yes, I said shiny, not sniny, I don’t want it to bite me in the ass), brilliantly cleaned bathroom.

    And if can’t tell the connection to bathrooms and pizza? I leave that for an exercise for the student.

  20. DemetriusOfPharos says

    Caine, Fleur du Mal:

    First, is it okay if I call you Demetrius?

    Doesn’t bother me – I nicked the name from an ancient pirate, but he’s long dead now so no use holding to formality.

  21. Rey Fox says

    Question to the Rhinebeckers: Since I have little interest in yarn and wool, were there any sheep herding exhibitions? I saw this on our merry package tour in New Zealand long ago and found it quite entertaining, particularly when they let the sheep out of the pen and the collie kept stalking around them just to be sure.

  22. Mr. Fire says

    GirlFire loves you too, Audley.

    Keeps pointing roughly in the direction of where you live and saying “da! Da!”

  23. DemetriusOfPharos says

    I’d prefer calling you Demetrius rather than going with DoP

    You down with DoP? (Yeah, you know me!)

    Sorry, I’ll stop there.

  24. A. Noyd says

    pelamun

    It is often believed that Japanese is a unique language which is unlearnable by foreigner, thus reflecting the uniqueness of the Japanese nation.

    Yes, but while there are fewer and fewer Japanese people who think that about the spoken language, it’s probably maintained when it comes to writing in part because the Japanese spend a lot of time learning it themselves and they make use of the additional information content of a majiribun without consciously realizing it exists.

    Then there’s the fact that foreign students of Japanese reinforce stereotypes because they often are much worse at reading than speaking. It’s a bit baffling to me since there’s something of a phonetic logic to kanji that so few of my classmates seem able to pick up on even by 4th year. Like, they apparently can’t use their knowledge of the readings for 教育 and 成功 to figure out the reading for 育成. (But in my class even those people fumble over long strings of kana, too.)

    Furigana isn’t really used in newspapers and books, except for children’s books.

    I didn’t mean to imply furigana was used widely in adult publications, only that it’s already available as a way to get around a lot of the difficulties that could otherwise lead to more fundamental changes. For instance, childhood literacy doesn’t suffer in the way it might if there was no furigana, so that’s out as an incentive.

  25. says

    The Sailor:

    Caine deep enough, by the way “Fear is the little death” La petite mort?

    Nope, nothing to do with orgasms. The Litany Against Fear, a Bene Gesserit incantation in Dune by Frank Herbert.

    I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.

  26. Algernon says

    Oh look, a glass of Ardbeg just appeared in my hand

    Woah.

    Absinthe is what I’m drinking tonight. How 90’s. In the time that elapsed I made a drink, took a terrible picture of it, wrote about it on my blog, drank it…

    and…

    what was I talking about?

    Anyway, cheers!

    (And welcome DemetriusOfPharos. History is a burden, try not to make it.)

  27. StarStuff! Because f**k you, that's why says

    Who just watched the Republican debate? I did!

    Now, you might be thinking: “Why would you do that to yourself?” And the answer would be: “I don’t fucking know!”

    They make me so angry and so sad at the same time. Is this really the best that the GOP can come up with? They’re all insane, hate filled,nutjobs who will sell themselves to the highest bidder.

    Highlights from the debate:
    -Michele Bachmann said: children of illegal immigrants are “magnets for welfare and government money.”
    -Newt Gingrich said basically said that atheist shouldn’t/can’t be president because he doesn’t know how they can make judgments without religion.
    -Herman Cain repeated his claim that if you’re poor or unemployed, you only have yourself to blame (which solicited the loudest cheer from the crowd full of well-off, older white people.
    -All candidates supported the idea of free-marked nuclear waste management.

    Have a lovely evening folks.

  28. Carlie says

    Rey – no, but there was a sheep auction and show, and you could go see all the different breeds.

  29. says

    DemetriusOfPharos: All sorts of people use this thread for all sorts of purposes and unless one is too egregiously idiotic no one seems to mind too much what you do. I’m a perfect case in point, time constraints make it almost impossible for me to do anything but skim TET in a lurkery sorta way. But that doesn’t stop me from using it as place where I can occasionally vent in safety as I did up-thread. Lurking here sometimes feels a bit voyeuristic but good recipes, good laughs, interesting facts and opinions from a vastly diverse set of people keeps me coming back. The Endless Thread: Endlessly Varied and Endlessly Interesting.

  30. Algernon says

    La Fee Parisian. I usually refuse to buy the bright green ones, but the owner of the liquor store where I shop swore he liked this one better than my usual (well, my usual since it has been legal and I don’t smuggle it in through customs anymore)

    It’s ok. No, pretty good actually but not my favorite in life.

    No, I did it crazy modern with burning sugar because… why not?

  31. Inane Janine, OM, Conflater Of Arguments says

    Oh, feminist SF authors — I just now remembered Nancy Kress! Beggars In Spain is excellent and Nothing Human is also good.

    I’ve just started reading Steal Across The Sky.

    Beggars In Spain has two sequels, Beggars And Choosers and Beggars Ride.

  32. PSG says

    FossilFishy @240: I was slightly worried you might have an anurysm, but that was hilarious. Thanks for the sacrifice!

    Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel: My sympathies. (((hugs))) if you want ’em.

    Roving Rockhound, collector of dirt: So jealous! Bill Nye in the flesh… get ’em to sign it!

    DemetriusOfPharos: I’m down with DoP! *giggles*

    Turned in my introduction to the boss today. Boss seemed slightly surprised and also relieved to tell me it didn’t suck. Apparently, that had been a concern. And when I mentioned I had someone lined up to correct the grammar errors, Boss positively lit up in relief. It was rather hilarious.

    Now, I should start apartment hunting online. Eek. I’m ready to have a real job but not excited to move. Oh well.

    I am also taking all hugs today. Thanks. :)

  33. Algernon says

    I’m partial to stuff from Switzerland, but most of it is impossible to find so when I do find it I usually get Kubler.

    I’m hoping the more people buy it the more stores will carry a variety here.

  34. says

    Algernon:

    I’m partial to stuff from Switzerland, but most of it is impossible to find so when I do find it I usually get Kubler.

    I wondered. Kubler’s is good stuff. You can buy it online, out of New York.

  35. Mattir says

    I am completely exhausted from two days with Spawn, DDMFM, and Sili in Manhattan. Mr. Patriarch horrified me by expressing some hesitation as to the amazing fun desirability of spending every possible minute of the whole Manhattan trip wandering the halls of the American Natural History Museum. He did, however, redeem himself over dinner by way of amusing stories. (Apparently Andy Schl**ly called him a pervert in college. As Sili pointed out, this is not a particularly high standard.)

    One thing the PharynguCommune will require is special isolation huts – not for anyone suffering from ritual cooties, but for protecting the severely grumpy and the transiently non-grumpy from each other.

  36. picool says

    Do any other Americans just absolutely cringe when Americans are interviewed on foreign news shows? I’m listening to BBC World Service and they did a story on the GOOP nominations and the people there were just so oblivious. The reporter went on to describe Herman Cain’s ignorance of foreign policy “as evident as it is startling” and I was sad.

  37. says

    Mattir:

    One thing the PharynguCommune will require is special isolation huts – not for anyone suffering from ritual cooties, but for protecting the severely grumpy and the transiently non-grumpy from each other.

    Wordy McWord Word.

  38. Stevarious says

    I have a friend oversees who used to make fun of me over American politics.

    It stopped being funny years ago. Now its kind of awkward and embarrassing to bring up.

  39. says

    Stevarious,

    politics has always been a spectator sport for me that I’ve enjoyed immensely. The American political circus especially.

    Though the emergence of the Tea Party has truly scared me, so yeah, I’d have to agree at least partially….

  40. says

    Pelamun:

    The American political circus especially.

    The problem being that American politics has become a circus. For real. A very bad, scary circus that sees the clowns running things. It might be interesting, but it’s both cringeworthy and frightening for thinking ‘mericans.

  41. picool says

    pelamun–
    I would not say that I was embarrassed for them, but of them. Being embarrassed for them would require more sympathy than I can muster for the portrayed Republican primary voter.

  42. Jessa says

    Warning! Rant Ahead!

    I wrote several months ago about how I did 95% of the work to solve a problem at work, only to stand by and watch a male coworker get the credit. It was good enough that the upper bosses said that we should submit it for a conference. I wrote the abstract and put together the poster for presentation. Guess who my bosses decided to present it. If you guessed my male coworker, you are correct.

    *sigh*

  43. says

    well, the German word doesn’t necessarily indicate sympathy for them, though it surely could. Well I guess the translation doesn’t really capture it.

    No, what I mean is

    Do any other Americans just absolutely cringe when Americans are interviewed on foreign news shows?

    Cringing because someone else is embarrassing themself in front of you, that’s fremdschämen. It’s quite a human reaction, and doesn’t have to indicate sympathy.

  44. says

    Jessa:

    Guess who my bosses decided to present it. If you guessed my male coworker, you are correct.

    Aw fuck, Jessa. You need to work on speaking up, I think. It’s obvious your male co-workers aren’t going to bother.

  45. Tethys says

    Picool

    Yes, I cringe at much of what passes for politics in America these days.

    But I’m long term unemployed/lazy/scum of the earth so what do I know?

    But I’m not bitter, nosireebub.

  46. says

    @Caine, I believe it’s traditional to charge nuisance clients at a premium rate. If you don’t find the insulting idiot *quite* bad enough to fire as a client, then charge him triple and laugh all the way to the bank credit union.

  47. ursulamajor says

    Oh, Jessa. That really sucks. Are there any others there who realize the truth of the matter or are you all alone in this?

  48. Jessa says

    Caine:

    Aw fuck, Jessa. You need to work on speaking up, I think. It’s obvious your male co-workers aren’t going to bother.

    I did, vociferously. They said, “We want someone…more senior to present the work.” And technically, male coworker has a higher rank than I do, thanks to our company’s incredibly arbitrary promotion policy.

  49. picool says

    Tethys–
    It’s not so much the politics (it is that of course but not in this case), as it is the sheer cluelessness of the interviewees. One guy said Cain was great because he was from Georgia and was “100% black”. That was my cringe moment.
    But I am also long term unemployed/Scum o’ the Earth. Hopefully grad school will lend legitimacy to my failure to be a productive capitalist.

  50. Jessa says

    ursulamajor:

    Glad to see you posting!

    Are there any others there who realize the truth of the matter or are you all alone in this?

    Both the male coworker and my immediate boss know that this is not fair, so that is some comfort. In fairness to male coworker, he has stated repeatedly that the work was mostly mine.

  51. cicely, Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac says

    I have returned from the Land of Mordor, unscathed. Hurrah!

    Amazingly enough, there was no prosetylisation, for the very first time in my acquaintance with my s-i-l. Either she’s (finally) mellowed, or There’s a New Preacher in Town; s-i-l requires a preacher to tell her what she thinks, and sometimes the “word of God” of today contrasts startlingly with the “word of God” of yesterday, and each stance is held and defended whole-heartedly. “D&D is a useful tool for teaching cooperation” was succeeded by “D&D is a tool of the Devil, and a one-way ticket to Hell!”, which played very poorly in our household. I can only assume that the current preacher is not in favor of relentlessly nagging until the luckless victims convert out of exhaustion, or simply to have some peace and quiet.

    Now, let’s see if I can get caught up!

    Last Thread:

    Howdy, Stevarius; welcome in! Your modesty, your humility…I am in awe!
    :)

    Well, spank me with a bagpipe! I thought I had to have missed something! Turns out that Last Thread slopped over onto another page, and I didn’t notice it, and there we apparently were, smack dab in the middle of a discussion of Benjamin and his social life (or lack thereof), and none of it looked familiar, but it’s been a coupla days, and I’ve slept (how ever poorly) since then, and maybe it’s just Old Timer’s disease a’creepin’ up on me….

    So, how did we get there? *goes back to reading*

    Doodle I did while listening to a panels…it’s squidy

    I’ve got an Octoberpus lashed to the top of my quad-cane. For Halloween.

    I call him Squidly Do-Right.
    :)

    consciousness razor, that wasn’t “useless information” at all! I played an oboe for years, and never knew all that. Thanks!

    imaginary lesbian@435, “Next year, you are ALL coming. :)”

    Images inadvertently inspired by that particular combination of words were extremely inappropriate. ;-)

    Aha; so it wasn’t just me! :D

    I try to brake for teal deer. This one’s gone kinda green, so….

  52. says

    Alethea:

    @Caine, I believe it’s traditional to charge nuisance clients at a premium rate. If you don’t find the insulting idiot *quite* bad enough to fire as a client, then charge him triple and laugh all the way to the bank credit union.

    I told him I wouldn’t be working with him. For the piddly amount it would be, it’s not worth it, and I really don’t need to invite creepy people into my life. They show up often enough as it stands.

    Jessa, that’s fucking infuriating. I’m so sorry.

  53. says

    PSG @ 546 Your welcome. And no need to worry about bursting blood vessels. I got calmer and calmer as I wrote it.

    Pteryxx @ 302. Thanks. “Promethean eagle” was almost “Sisyphusian rock” but it didn’t have quite the same ring. Although in retrospect I wish I’d said “proud Promethean peregrine”, ’cause you know…alliteration always makes things funnier. X-p

  54. Sally Strange, OM says

    imaginary lesbian@435, “Next year, you are ALL coming. :)”

    Images inadvertently inspired by that particular combination of words were extremely inappropriate. ;-)

    Aha; so it wasn’t just me! :D

    He was asking where he should pitch his tent, too!

    Pharyngula porno: there will be sheep, tents, tentacles… And everyone will come!

  55. chigau () says

    Seriously late to the game but that deleted jimpost@351 was about Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort?
    Our Kitty????
    ooohhh
    so fucking angry
    so fucking late
    *hugs*chocolate*grog*

  56. says

    Alethea:

    Caine, totally your call of course. I’m glad you can afford to say no to the stupid douche-hat’s money.

    I’m glad about that myself. It really wouldn’t be much, if anything. He wanted the use of some photos for what’s basically a poetry site, which is more or less defunct at the moment, but subject to revivification. There really isn’t much money in that sort of thing, done individually. I do wildlife stock, which has finally begun to add up to some real money, but I go through stock agencies, which gets my stuff out there and used.

    I don’t turn many potential clients away, but there are always some who you just know better than to get involved with. I really wanted no more involvement with Mr. Bos, especially as he addressed me as “C” in his email, which shows he still doesn’t have the slightest idea of how to address people properly. I just don’t need to deal with that sort of person. As it is, I’ve had to put a lock on five of my galleries, in case he turns out to be the sort of person who would help himself to my photos anyway.

  57. Therrin says

    At 296 in the Tucker thread, and have to say that

    (Fizzy is yet an other person who proves the Pharyngula trope that Nerd Of Redhead is the only woman at this blog.)

    by Inane Janine got quite a laugh. I also like the “Nerd of a Redhead” usages.

  58. Tethys says

    Picool

    Yes, sheer cluelessness abounds. I think that a large proportion of the older generation are under the impression that the FCC rules for media are still in effect.

    I refer to the fairness doctrine, but I can’t make that link tag work. (I am cynically not surprised to see that Scalia is cited in the wiki as one of the “justices” involved)

    Walter Cronkite wasn’t allowed to tell blatant lies or spin the news to reflect personal viewpoints or agendas.

    Today we have Faux news, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck all spouting pure propaganda. Its really quite depressing.

  59. Heliantus says

    OK, long story. I started posting on the Tucker thread, a bit over-reacting to a few posters over there (I got the feeling they were saying that relationships are easy, just do this).
    Caine was smart enough to understand that I really wanted to vent a few personal issues and directed me on the endless thread.

    I got a few answers to my original posts over the Tucker thread, I will answer to them here. Not claiming originality, just venting.

    OK, self-centered rant starting. Beware, I’m under the delusion that I’m a Nice Guy ™

    @ Caine, Fleur du Mal

    Thanks.

    @ Sally Strange, OM

    Where? All the good ones are already taken.

    That’s because “the good ones” tend to avoid men who think of them as possessions to be “taken.”

    That’s interesting, now that you point at it. I should dig at my choice of words. Will it get better if I say “taken away”, as in “not available anymore”? Like, I came too late on the relationship market, these women already made their choice, and I wouldn’t dream of changing it?
    Or if I say that I see a relationship as a reciprocal possession (or rather, contract)? Not joking, a mutual contract is really how I see myself in a relationship.

    Probably because you are yourself confused [spot on] and/or manipulative [um, I could be, but not very good at it]. Like here, you’re trying to manipulate the commenters here into being your own private dating agency [thanks, but no thanks, I have a girlfriend actually; but I am indeed looking for any advice worth giving. Sorry to have stepped on the wrong thread]. Which is a confused thing to do, because anyone with brains can see that nobody would be remotely interested in pointing an unsuspecting woman in your direction.

    Thanks for explaining to me why none of my relatives or friends ever tried to introduce me to a woman, even a suspecting one (OK, almost never – did I say I am rather clueless?). That also explains why the idea of me flirting was making everybody laugh.
    You know, if any of them has just told me, I would have jumped through a window to save them the embarrassment of having me around.
    Actually three of my friends tried, once I asked them to. Funny enough, in two cases they introduced me to someone at the other end of the planet. To be fair, all I had to do was drop my (just-accepted) job and move to a different country. Um, now that sounds like a romantic comedy.

    By accepting that her no means “no” rather than “not now”, you are showing that you view her as a human being rather than a fucktoy.

    This part I agree. I may not be perfect on acting on this, but I agree.

    Asking in the first place is indication enough that you are serious.

    Now, are you kidding me? Boy meet girl, boy asks girl out, and that’s indication enough that boy is serious and doesn’t just want to get into her pants? I’m sorry, but my knowledge of men’s behaviour makes me a bit more cynical. It’s indication enough that the boy found the girl attractive, but nothing more. I actually don’t fault women for wanting more than just a pick-up line before deciding that the guy is worth going out with.
    (it just took me forever to apply the principles into action)
    The “you take ‘no’ at face value, means you are not serious” may be coming from stupid sexist rom-com, but it’s outta here, not just in my head. So what do we do about all of this?

    @ Otrame 557

    Could it be that you are requiring a certain level of beauty and cup size before you find a woman interesting? …

    I certainly put too much weight on physical appearance. Or so my parents and some friends keep telling me. All married to, or being themselves beautiful women. I’m sure you understand my confusion.

    Actually, it’s simpler than that: I don’t go out often enough. And I’m believing to be an ugly duckling.

    @ Dhorvath, OM 625

    Thanks for the suggestions. I’m very bad at making new connections, and yet I love to meet people.
    Well, except when the alpha male decides to assert his position in the group. I hate it when a guy transforms a group conversation into a peeing contest.

    @ Insipid Moniker 638

    Yes, it’s what I should have done – dating sites. Or dating agencies.
    I did try to get on a few dating websites, but I didn’t liked the experience. Too remote.

    @ Carlie 620

    You seem to be saying that if the woman tells you no, you never have any other interactions with her again, ever. This is the problem. Yes, people will forget you if you talk to them once and then never again.

    That pretty much sums it. I’m not wanted, I should go away. If I stay around, I will feel embarrassed, like some idiot who doesn’t understand “no”. It’s not just self-consciousness, it’s part of my upbringing. I should not embarrass myself or other people in public. Or worse, shame my parents.
    Plus, if the girl doesn’t want to talk to me, moving toward her is just going to force her to flee, which is not polite.
    OK, I’m not exactly like this anymore, I did some growing–up recently, but it’s as close as I can explain how clumsy I was (am?).

    Do you never approach a woman with the thought of becoming her friend?

    No. Actually, now, yes. Well, it’s complicated. I don’t go out of my way to make friends (so I shouldn’t complain if I don’t have many friends, and if none of them introduces me to single women; this is my fault), but once the ice is broken, I like people. I do have (or had) a few women friends, some I may find attractive, but I don’t feel the urge to flirt with them, so I guess I’m right in calling them friends.
    I have no problem making friend with colleagues, or people I meet on social occasions, both male and female, but it’s very difficult for me to approach strangers. Especially those of a female persuasion. It’s easier if I have a (non-sexual) reason to approach a woman.

    One problem is, I was taught, while very young, by daddy, bullies and peers, that approaching girls means flirting with them. To be in love. And that’s hilarious, and I will be mocked for it. So I learnt to stay away, and never flirt in public. I started to overcome this in recent years, but it’s still here, inside.

    Thanks goodness, my mom did a good job at explaining to me that women have other uses than fucktoy.

    She might change her mind IF you develop a relationship and IF she then learns more about you and IF she likes what she sees

    Yep. Eventually, I figured this one out. It’s the “break the ice, propose a first date” part which mostly eluded me.

    but doesn’t owe you a chance just because you’ve been her friend

    This I knew already. No-one owns me anything. And friendship is not something you do to get a special treatment.
    (I may not be always good at acting on this, but I know)
    Oh, and this xkcd comics is spot-on on what I could have gone for.

  60. says

    Therrin:

    I also like the “Nerd of a Redhead” usages.

    This goes waaaaaaaay back. A majority of trolls and assorted douchebiscuits are under the impression that there are no women on Pharyngula*. So much so, it’s been a meme for a long time. Almost every female regular here has been considered to be male and accused of being a “14 year old boy in mommy’s basement” or some such. The same trolls and assorted douchebiscuits often seem to be under the impression that Nerd is a woman, because they focus on the “Redhead” bit and ignore the rest.

    *This includes those with obviously feminine names. Even today, in the Tucker thread, an idiot referred to Janine as grandpa.

  61. Sally Strange, OM says

    Asking in the first place is indication enough that you are serious.

    Now, are you kidding me? Boy meet girl, boy asks girl out, and that’s indication enough that boy is serious and doesn’t just want to get into her pants?

    No, not what I meant. It’s indication that you are serious about getting in her pants. If she says no, and you stick around and continue interacting, in a friendly way, without hitting on her again or pressuring her in any way, then it’s indication that you’re serious about treating her as a human being. In which case she might decide she’s interested in getting in your pants too. Or not. If not, you still have a new friend. Win-win.

  62. chigau () says

    Caine

    As for my size … (5’6″, 114 lbs).

    Were we twins, separated at birth?
    (I actually think that I’m a few years older, so the labor would have been a nightmare.)

  63. says

    Hi Heliantus, good to see you here. I’m not up to diving into your post right now, so I hope you’ll pardon me. I need to pay attention to work for a little while. :) Here’s hoping there are lots of good discussions revolving around the issues you brought up.

  64. says

    Where? All the good ones are already taken.

    That is a very silly thing to say, since all these “good ones” would have had to be single (read: on the market) at some point, right ? You can make that statement if you’re a Chinese man, where 30 million guys can’t find a woman because there aren’t enough of them around, but not really anywhere else.

  65. Sally Strange, OM says

    Also, Heliantus, you referred to a woman who hit on you as a “bimbo” and two other ones as “dominating women” who were just looking for a pet to put on a leash for a short term affair. I mean, I get that you may not be interested in dating these people, but the derogatory language you chose to describe them tells me you have more work to do.

  66. says

    Rorschach:

    That is a very silly thing to say, since all these “good ones” would have had to be single

    That’s true, however, it’s common enough to hear people say that all the time. I think it’s probably more to the point to find out why someone thinks that – where they live, where they meet people, do they have ridiculous standards, etc.

  67. Tethys says

    Is there a porn bot posting in the More Ugliness Laid Bare thread?

    I can speak towards the All the Good Ones are taken meme. After ten years of attempting to date after 16 years of being married, I have decided to be happily single.

    I met and dated several nice yet severely fucked up men as regards women/relationships . I am not looking for a project, and the sheer amount of clueless assholes I had to wade through to find someone just to date makes hanging out with my cats FAR preferable.

  68. says

    Apropos of nothing, Alfie is very ill. You should see Mister nursing him. Cradling him, administering his meds, feeding him syringes of water to keep him hydrated, cuddling him (and Alfie boggling in response). Mister would have made an outstanding nurse.

  69. says

    Caine @573

    Er, um, oh, :tries to ignore: I gotta…Sisyphean.

    Ah shit. Oh well, recently I left my 4 year old daughter’s favorite blanky in a hotel bed. It hasn’t been recovered and looks likely to never return. She’s now pretending to call it on the phone so it can listen to her bedtime story with her. Breaks my heart every time. I also recently forgot my wife’s birthday and on being confronted with it I thought she was joking…. yeah, I’m *that* guy. If that spelling error, egregious though it was, is the worst mistake I make today it’ll have been a good day. :) As penance, tomorrow I shall attempt to work Sisyphean into a random conversation with a customer. That’ll larn me.

  70. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    @ Otrame 557

    Could it be that you are requiring a certain level of beauty and cup size before you find a woman interesting? …

    I certainly put too much weight on physical appearance. Or so my parents and some friends keep telling me. All married to, or being themselves beautiful women. I’m sure you understand my confusion.

    This one is a good one to remember. I actually see this one a lot and I never know what to say about it. On the one hand, no one should feel like they have to date anyone they’re not attracted to, on the other hand….. I see a lot of ‘Nice Guy tm’ types out there who accuse women of being shallow, while only hitting on the ‘hottest’ specimens (for lack of a less clumsy term.)

    For my part, It’s not that I don’t put a fair bit of weight on physical appearance myself, it’s just that I find a very wide range of women physically attractive.

    In my experience, the most fun I’ve had with women has been with ones who aren’t exactly conventionally ‘attractive’ in the GQ magazine sense, but YMMV.

    Disclaimer: I’m probably the stupidest person in the world to be taking dating advice from.

  71. cicely, Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac says

    My kitteh has decided to forgive me for cruelly abandoning her, with nobody but Son to tend to her needs for two whole days.

    I am a bad kitteh mommy.

    Ah. Now I see how we got here.

    :(

    Benjamin (assuming you’re still here), you said:

    The point is: There’s no reason to go the nonverbal, inscrutable route when a simple “no” is infinitely more effective and the reaction no worse.

    The “inscrutability” of the non-verbal approach has been dealt with; what you seem to miss is that 1) a simple “no” is not necessarily effective at all, let alone “infinitely more effective” (the cliched “Your lips are saying “no”, but your eyes say “yes””, from a guy who is refusing to “hear” a simple “no”), and 2) the reaction may indeed be worse, to an overt, in-your-face, can’t-possibly-miss-it rebuff, which you seem to have trouble believing. Lots and lots and LOTS of anecdata, just right here in TET alone, says you’re mistaken in this disbelief.

    What I don’t understand is why you refuse to believe people who are telling you about things they personally have experienced. WTF??

    I soooo wanna see pics.

    Me, too. :(

    PSG, welcome in. :)

    Whew! Onward! To Current Thread!
    .
    .
    .
    Tomorrow!

  72. Philip Legge says

    Dropping in here to also register my dismay about the idiots posting personal info about pseudonymous regulars here on TET and Atheist church thread. I had had a starfart reaction to Herp-a-Derp-a-Zerple’s shit in the Tucker thread when I read through it earlier today, but counted to ten after typing it and decided to put the comment aside rather than posting it. Having since read the doofuses like Mr Zachary BoS on these couple of threads, I came to the conclusion what the fuck, dug the starfart comment out again and posted it. It’s a really nice day here in Melbourne, by the way, great weather for ranting on the Internet.

  73. says

    Philip:

    It’s a really nice day here in Melbourne, by the way, great weather for ranting on the Internet.

    Ah, that’s nice to hear. It’s already getting chill here in ND, we’re in the low 20s (F) in the mornings now.

    I’m watching Futurama and pretending to work.

  74. Tethys says

    Caine

    Boggling? I picture a game with lettered dice.

    If I may, what is the new bit to your nym? Arabic? Your birthday happens to be the same as my former Mr., and also by some odd coincidence, the day our divorce became final.

  75. says

    TLC:

    I find a very wide range of women physically attractive.

    That’s Mister. He’s much more interested in the person than the physical aspects. He’s major eye candy himself* and he decided I was the one for him. There’s no accountin’ for taste. ;D

    *Really.

  76. says

    Tethys:

    Boggling? I picture a game with lettered dice.

    Boggling is the rat equivalent of cat purring.

    The eyeball vibrates rapidly in and out of the socket. Occurs during high-intensity bruxing (soft, repetitive grinding of the incisors). The rat’s masseter muscle, which passes through the eye socket behind the eyeball, moves the jaw rapidly up and down during bruxing. When bruxing is intense, the contractions of the masseter vibrate the eye in and out of the socket in time with the incisor grinding. Usually considered to indicate pleasure and contentment.

    You can see all kinds of examples of rat boggling.

    If I may, what is the new bit to your nym? Arabic?

    It’s Persian for baboon, joining in with TLC and others, wearing baboon as a result of something stupid said by the ever moronic Hoggle.

    Your birthday happens to be the same as my former Mr., and also by some odd coincidence, the day our divorce became final.

    Ah. I hope it’s a happy day for you!

  77. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    Caine: All looks fade eventually, despite the insane amount of effort and money people spend on trying to halt the process.

  78. Philip Legge says

    Caine, yep, your Mister is pretty damn good eye candy by my reckoning. I think we got to 28 °C (= 82 °F) here, so we’re racing downward nicely towards summer again; having put some washing out in the sun on a clothes horse earlier, one of the cats has decided to use a sheet as a hammock. (She’s the clever one of the pair.)

  79. says

    Philip:

    Caine, yep, your Mister is pretty damn good eye candy by my reckoning.

    :D

    I think we got to 28 °C (= 82 °F) here, so we’re racing downward nicely towards summer again; having put some washing out in the sun on a clothes horse earlier, one of the cats has decided to use a sheet as a hammock. (She’s the clever one of the pair.)

    Oooh, sun, heat, clothes out, cats drowsing. That’s all good. Very good.

  80. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    I don’t mind being a baboon. They seem to figure out the whole ‘equality’ thing pretty quick, given the right conditions.

    I propose a celebratory feast of impala calves and flamingos.

  81. says

    Good morning

    You spent half of my night discussing Discworld characters and nobody has mentioned Tiffany?
    I identify a lot with her. Well, my younger me identifies a lot with her. My current me has a bit of Magrat Garlic and I’m expecting to grow into Nanny Ogg one day, only with more teeth (I’m aiming for decadent instead of unident)
    But Walton can’t be a wizzard. The beard might not be a requirement, but the food is.

    Walton
    I’m sorry youR’e feeling bad. Can you try to allow yourself a cheat day or something? Or cheat meals?

    All the good women are “taken
    Curiously, one of my best friends “accuses” my other best friend and me of having married the two last decent men on planet earth. Admitedly, her last two boyfriends where what’s commonly known as a “Griff ins Klo”*

    pelamun
    Ah, yes, I remember how they fought for months over 500 million, to be invested over the course of several years, for better childcare. But they coughed up 500 billion over night for the banks.
    When the “Konjunkturpaket” was put into action in 2009, somebody hit the nail on the head “100€ for a child and 2500€ for a car, it shows where the priorities are in this country”
    But something else is also interesting concerning the current debate. One of their model women COE’s is Ms. Suckale is the person responsible for spying on the employees and their families when she was working for the Bahn. That obviously adds to her qualification. A poor shop assistant who’s only suspected to have stolen something worth a single Euro on the other hand has her life ruined over such an accusation.

    Caine and chigau
    Well, my goson and his older brother look like twins. Seriously, when you only have a picture of them, even their parents need to check the date to see which boy it is, so, everything is possible

    Katherine
    I’m sorry that you had to take the drama here.
    *hugs are coming your way if you want them.*

    *literally reaching down into the toilet. You get the image

  82. kristinc, ~delicate snowflake~ says

    You can see all kinds of examples of rat boggling.

    Oh Caine, the rat in that clip looks exactly like Milo, the best and snuggliest rat I ever had.

    I fell in love with him at the pet store when I was 16 because he was so friendly and adorable — a woolly, curly silver haired little baby — bought him on the spot, and carried him a half mile home cupped against my belly. He slept the whole way. I stopped to show him to a friend and he woke up briefly when I tipped him gently into friend’s hand, then curled up again philosophically. For as long as I had him he loved to ride anywhere I went, draped across the back of my neck and napping. And he frequently bruxed, although I can’t say I ever noticed boggling. He was awesome.

  83. Tethys says

    Caine

    Persian for baboon huh. Brilliant. Mr. is quite the eye candy.

    I actually don’t consider getting divorced to be happy, it was very sadly necessary. I did so want to be the old grey haired Grandparents who are are still madly in love with each other.

    Unfortunately I choose poorly. *shrug* I did get three absolutely wonderful sons out of the deal, and a whole lot of education on relationships.

  84. says

    Kristinc:

    Oh Caine, the rat in that clip looks exactly like Milo, the best and snuggliest rat I ever had.

    Aaaaaaw, Milo sounds so sweet. My current two, Chas & Alfie, can be seen here.

    My first rat was unintentional, a rescue done as a favour to a friend. I haven’t been without them since.

  85. chigau () says

    …. 100€ for a child and 2500€ for a car …

    I read this and started weeping.
    Whatever the context it’s just wrong.
    So to bed.

  86. says

    Tethys:

    Unfortunately I choose poorly.

    I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Better to be out of it than stay in a situation which isn’t good though.

    Kristinc, I remember watching that before! Milo must have been a Dumbo, they are the mellowest creatures ever. Chas & Alfie are Dumbos.

  87. Tethys says

    *squeeees over all teh cute rat videos and Caines pics.

    I know that getting a rat would only end badly as long as I have the two cats.

    Too bad raccoons don’t take to being pets. My raccoon Fiendish was the sweetest creature. She also had a sound similar to purring she would make when she was very happy.

    Note: She was one of three orphans that were brought to me long ago. Unfortunately two were brought to late for me to help them, and only Fiendish lived. She eventually went completely wild, and lived nearby her entire life.

  88. says

    Janine:

    But can he stick it?

    No.

    Tethys, I have 5 cats. Not one of them has even so much as touched one of the rats. Of course, my first rat, Ash, bit every single cat in the house for no good reason. Just letting them know who the boss happened to be. (Rat bites are extremely painful).

    My rats live in my studio, where the cats aren’t allowed anyway.

  89. says

    chigau
    The context was the economic stimulus program. If you had a child, you got 100€ as a stimulus (if you were on welfare, the deducted it from your welfare, of course, so you had to have a bit of middle class at least). But if you bought a new car and had an old one wrecked, you got 2500€*

    *led to the fact that many cars that were worth more than 2500 € were wrecked. Some people are stupid.

  90. says

    Also, Tethys, see here for a rat bossing a cat around. There are half a ton of vids of rats & cats getting along. Chas & Alfie are allowed full run of the house fairly often, and while my cats will follow them as long as the boys are moving away from them, they jump and run when the boys turn around and start chasing them. There’s also some good advice here.

  91. Inane Janine, OM, Conflater Of Arguments says

    Now the bugfuck insane thread of the day is complete. The Mucus Muse is presenting his command troll performance. It is so inspiring to watch a true craftmenz at work.

  92. theophontes , flambeau du communisme says

    @ TLC #605

    Papio Cynocephalus … Talk Dog Head … Baboon

    Hehehe, the penny drops.

    Big hug to Kat. Little itty-bitty hugs to Alfie.

  93. Tethys says

    Caine

    Though my cats are now strictly indoor city cats unless I take them outside, they spent their first 8 years as country cats. They are quite experienced and deadly predators.

    I feel it would very likely end badly, and that would be irresponsible on my part. (and kind of cruel to the rat) So I will just have to wait until they are too old or pass away before indulging myself in more pets. They’re currently 14, and very spry and healthy.

  94. says

    Tethys, no problem, no worries. My cats still predate, recently I’ve found gutted and decapitated mice in the kitchen, a squirrel with its face chewed off and the occasional bird which flies through the kennel fence and gets nailed. They won’t touch the rats though.

  95. ChasCPeterson says

    I don’t mind being a baboon. They seem to figure out the whole ‘equality’ thing pretty quick, given the right conditions.

    lol
    No, baboon societies are pretty much the exact opposite of anything like ‘equality’.

  96. says

    Which Chas?

    I was just wondering that myself. But clearly she is referring to the artist formerly known as Sven. Rats wouldn’t be so crazy !

  97. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    Chas: I was referencing that troop of baboons studied in africa, where the dominant males all ate tainted meat from a dump and died, leaving the dominant females to take charge and leading to a less aggressive hierarchy structure.

  98. says

    Rorschach:

    Rats wouldn’t be so crazy !

    Yes they would!

    We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. I brought the box with it’s styro inserts in for Chas to play in. It’s kept him busy for the last 3 minutes…

  99. says

    It’s kept him busy for the last 3 minutes…

    I just chem-nuked a spider the size of my hand, I’m sure Chas would love to play with that !

  100. Inane Janine, OM, Conflater Of Arguments says

    Which Chas?

    I had enough of clown time at the bugfuck insane thread. Time for some sleep.

  101. says

    Rorschach:

    I just chem-nuked a spider the size of my hand, I’m sure Chas would love to play with that !

    He probably would! Rats are terribly curious. (Not that I’d let him near a spider that size.) It is cool to see rats go after insects though. Chas will leap up and grab a fly out of the air, then bite its head off. Gruesomely fascinating.

    G’night, Janine.

  102. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    That’s interesting, Caine. Never thought of a rat doing something like that.

    I’ve always wondered about the possibility of making a pet out of a wild rat. I caught a juvenile on a farm once who didn’t seem particularly inclined to bite or attack once, but I was in no position to keep it.

  103. says

    TLC:

    That’s interesting, Caine. Never thought of a rat doing something like that.

    Something like what? Wild rats can be turned into pets, but it’s usually only when found as pups. Rat breeders are good people and it’s not as though rats are expensive. Most Dumbo rats run around 12 bucks at a pet store and that’s on the high side.

    I let Chas have some peanut butter, and he’s now stashing a bunch of his calcium chews in the vacuum cleaner box.

  104. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    Caine: Something like snagging flies out of the air.

    Whenever I’ve gotten pet rats, I always bought them from the selection of ‘feeder animals’ at the pet store. I kinda like the idea of sparing them that fate.

    Do they actually specifically breed dumbo rats now? My only experience with them has been finding them mixed in with the rest. Sadie was a dumbo rat. She was possibly the smartest rat I ever knew, but I have no actual quantifiable way to measure that. Just ‘a feeling’.

    As for a wild rat, I just wonder if their behavior would be particularly different. I’m almost wishing I’d kept that young male I found on the farm, he seemed like a fairly nonaggressive specimen.

    (I caught him in front of people, and was put in the unpleasant position of being expected to kill it. I don’t ‘perform on command’, and I don’t kill ANYTHING I don’t want to kill. So I told them I’d do it around back, and then as soon as I couldn’t be seen, I yelled “FUCKER BIT ME” and then let him run into the blackberry bushes. Clever, no?)

    If I didn’t have so many pets now, I’d probably get back into rats. Short lifespans be damned.

  105. says

    TLC:

    Something like snagging flies out of the air.

    Ah. Yeah, it was remarkable to see. Chas is the only one I’ve seen do it though.

    Do they actually specifically breed dumbo rats now?

    Oh yes. You can find Dumbo rats in most pet stores. Stay the hell away from Petsmart though – they are not careful in who they buy their rats from. Locally owned stores are better. In a lot of places, there are even rat rescue organizations. My first was a rescue, came out of an abusive home. He was a star.

    The short life spans are a downer, but rats are so intelligent with such personalities, it’s all worth it.

  106. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    I stay the hell away from PetSmart already- everything’s overpriced, the selection kind of sucks unless you’re just a dog/cat/fish owner, and the animals always look kinda sickly, even the hamsters and mice.

    That could just be the local one though.

  107. says

    Watching the Chaser boys doing an interview with the actual Lord Monckton… in a segment in which they argue that Monckton really is a Sasha Baron-Cohen character. Major LOLZ. Hope this turns up on youtube soon.

  108. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    I miss the crickets. In my old town, every summer near the end I could look forward to hearing the crickets sing all evening, but since I’ve moved here to the fraser valley, not a one.

    Oh, you meant the sport?

  109. says

    University of Melbourne Secular Society just invited me to this event :

    Atheism and Sexism (and FREE FOOD!)

    From the description :

    In the aftermath of Elevatorgate, many questions about the role of women in the freethinking movement have arisen. Why aren’t there more female atheists? Why aren’t they as prominent as the male celebrity atheists? Does the atheist movement favour males? Should atheists support the feminist movement? Come talk and hear about these issues at the last Secular Society event of the year, as we have discussions led by the students.

    There better be free drinks as well.

  110. Carlie says

    Mattir, in our car coming back from the festival Saturday we were saying that next gathering we ought to designate a Quiet Sensory Deprivation Room in addition to the Party Room, where the lights would be off and there would be extra air mattresses to accommodate any number of people and there would be no talking or interacting allowed. Partly so that everyone who needs to get away and decompress from all the noise and all the peoples has a place to go, and also so the poor owners of the Party Room have a place they can go when they need a break.

  111. says

    lol
    No, baboon societies are pretty much the exact opposite of anything like ‘equality’.

    Apparently,* following a study which showed that social rank in female baboons is hereditary, the authors, Dr Cheney and Dr Seyfarth, were visited in Botswana by HRH Princess Michael of Kent.** She is said to have derived great satisfaction from the findings, reportedly saying:

    “I always knew that when people who aren’t like us claim that hereditary rank is not part of human nature, they must be wrong. Now you’ve given me evolutionary proof!”

    (*It’s from the NYT, so probably not completely fabricated.)

    (**Born Baroness Marie Christine von Reibnitz. She is of Austro-Hungarian and German noble descent, and related to every royal family of Europe.)

  112. aladegorrion says

    Hugs to to Katherine if you want them! Sorry the breakup is going like that. I sympatheize. I think mine is over now but I actually freaked out a bit before I read the details as the tone was astonishingly similar to some messages I have gotten.

  113. Algernon says

    I always knew that when people who aren’t like us claim that hereditary rank is not part of human nature, they must be wrong. Now you’ve given me evolutionary proof!

    Now now, princess… it doesn’t mean one couldn’t summon up an army, murder your family and take over your country successfully by crushing your people completely, thus generating a new hierarchy :)

    It’s worked before. Pretty castles too!

  114. Birger Johansson says

    Baroness Marie Christine von Reibnitz aka princess of Kent proves my prejudices against arrogant privileged schmucks. If we should be modelled on baboons, what will this mean for her physical appearence during estrus?

  115. Algernon says

    If we should be modelled on baboons, what will this mean for her physical appearence during estrus?

    lol

  116. says

    Oh dear, picking up my daughter in kindergarten I just witnessed fucked up patriarchy in action.
    A father who picked up his son flat out refused to even accept the invitation for the lantern crafting*. “You have to give that to my wife, that’s none of my business”.
    I’m wondering what an impression this left on his son: I’m none of his business, he refuses to take part in my life**

    *Novemer 11 is the catholic celebration of St. Martin’s, so in the catholic south/west there are usually parades where St. Martin rides through the streets followed by children with lantern. But it has long passed being a catholic thing so everybody hosts “lanternfestivals”. One of my favourite traditions. We’ll go to three different ones.

    **Obviously, this is huge for the kids. They make their lanterns, they practise songs, they go out into the night, there’s a bonfire and special sweetbreads. So the dad’s refusal isn’t just a minor thing.

  117. Gnumann says

    I’m going to do two things I normally don’t do. I’m going to post on TET, and I’m going to say loud and clearly:

    Trigger warning!

    Non-typical (ie – non-male-on-female) rape came up on the Tucker-tread. As I said on that tread, I think that particular issue is useless (except as a derailment tactic) in a tread about female consent to male affections. I feel I owe Matt some explanations though, so they go down here.

    Rape is of course historically a property crime (just look at the Old Testament (I cannot be arsed to remember the names of the books in English, or where things are – you know what I’m talking about). Some penal codes and some people are still partly stuck in that view. I see no reason to treat them as normative. Neither for language nor law.

    Penal codes vary wildly, and practice might vary more than the code implies. Since I’m a lazy git and the Wikipedia page wasn’t too shabby I’ll send you there:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_rape

    Legal definitions aside, the usage might vary. My personal view is that limited definitions of rape only leads to sorting victims. While “sexual assault” might be appropriate for some situations, I see no point in wrangling about what orifice or what implement or whatever. I’m not alone in this. You might see (again, lazy git) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape#Definitions for some examples.

    So, definitions are not definite here – and I for one see no good arguments for using the more limited ones.

    But, even though you narrow down rape definitions to the very narrow “penis in orifice without consent”, you don’t get rid of many of the atypical rapes. Female-on-male, vagina-on-penis rapes happen. They are uncommon as heck, convictions are equally rare, but they do actually happen.

    If your definitions of rape is so limited that you necessitate violence, they might be hard to envision. Still though, I would be very careful with saying outright “women can’t rape men”.

    Male victims of rape and victims of woman-on-woman rape are already very marginalized. They really don’t need their experience lessened by people rules-(and language)-lawyering on whether they’ve been subjected to rape or not.

  118. Gnumann says

    A father who picked up his son flat out refused to even accept the invitation for the lantern crafting*. “You have to give that to my wife, that’s none of my business”.

    Could it be a child with two homes? That’s the only reasonable explanation I could see (besides patriarchy gone berserk of course).

  119. Pteryxx says

    @TLC:

    (I caught him in front of people, and was put in the unpleasant position of being expected to kill it. I don’t ‘perform on command’, and I don’t kill ANYTHING I don’t want to kill. So I told them I’d do it around back, and then as soon as I couldn’t be seen, I yelled “FUCKER BIT ME” and then let him run into the blackberry bushes. Clever, no?)

    …I have SUCH a crush on you now.

    more or less on-rat-topic: Dunno about wild rats, but I once had a wild mouse infiltrate my mouse breeder colony (pet store, not lab). She was so healthy-shiny that (after quarantine) I kept her around as a breeder, hoping to add some wild hybrid vigor into my cheap pet-store stock. She never did get the least bit tame, even though I spent most of a year trying to gentle her, but she was one of the best moms I have EVER seen.

  120. says

    Gnumann
    I objected to that narrow definition as well. Not only does it leave out some male victims (most victims of prison rape would still be “covered”), it also leaves out lots of female victims, regardless of whether the rapist was male or female.
    Rape victims have a hard enough time getting recognition anyway and are often dismissed with a statement that starts with “Oh, but it wasn’t really rape because…, it was only …”
    I’d rather not see feminists engage in any such arguments because of some outdated definitions.

  121. says

    Gnumann
    No, he explicitely talked about his wife (people who split up usually don’t do that) and that he couldn’t be bothered to take the sheet home and hand it to her. Nothing in the conversation suggested two homes. I would expect that the teachers would then have asked before who takes the invitation since they’re usually pretty sensitive to those issues. The one who tried to hand him the paper even mentioned that this was sadly “typically male”, leaving that stuff to their wives.

  122. Pteryxx says

    @Gnumann: Absolutely men can be raped, women can rape, and women can rape men. Selfishly I hope I don’t need to break my links out, because I’m really busy*, but Jason Thibeault mentioned male rape victims in his “Disadvantages of being a man” post; Stephanie Zvan has at least one post that I can recall, and there’s a thread for the experiences of men survivors on NSWATM (that’s Noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz blog).

    *which is of course why I’m screwing around on TET, natch.

  123. Richard Austin says

    So, this is of course appropos of nothing except that I just got off a conference call.

    But, apparently, my consulting job (which was supposed to be over at the end of June) which got extended until the end of December is now going to be over at the end of this month. I’m conflicted, as the extra money’s nice but I’m really fucking tired of doing it (working 70+hours a week for months = not fun).

    It means I might actually start the musical lessons I was thinking about, though. Not sure if I want to do piano or violin (really leaning towards violin; I’ve even got a very nice one my BFF will let me borrow, since he played for 13 years but really doesn’t like it – he much prefers his sax).

    On a more relavent note – you peeps who were (and are still) dealing with the Tucker thread deserve extra grog in your grog this weekend. I tried keeping up with it yesterday, but I have little patience for stupid people in real life much less on the internet. It seems like a few good things came out of it, but it might be time to douse the porcupines in napalm and lob them over the wall.

    Oh, and pet rats are cute. Well, most pet rodents are cute, but especially the smart ones like rats.

  124. Stevarious says

    I posted what seems to be a pretty concise explanation to the elevator event on the Turner thread – I wish it could be the last time. Does anyone see anything wrong with the details?

  125. says

    Jebus Caine, if teh pic is accurate, that fellow is Hollywood Handsome!
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++
    An ex-GF and I once had a pet mouse. We got it from friends of ours who bought it for their snake. The snake wasn’t hungry and after a few days the mouse started eating the snake. Really.

    A very tiny little bit at a time. (It was a big snake.)

    They were going to bash its head in (the mouse, not the snake) and we thought any critter that brave (and hungry) deserved a good home, but he ended up in ours.

    I built him a nice geodesic dome home out of match sticks and mylar and he seemed very grateful and cuddly.

    Until he’d been fed and cared for enough to get healthy and then he would bite the hand that fed him every time.

    That mouse had spunk! I hate spunk.

    But I sure did like Mouse E. Dude. (Etymology of Mouse E. Dude:
    “here mouse, here mousey, mousey.”
    “Mousey, dude, we have a new home for you!”
    “What do you want to name him?”
    “We’re already calling him Mousey Dude.”
    “Not dignified enough, from hereafter he shall be known as Mouse E. Dude” (I may have had my memory slightly influenced by Walton in that last exchange;-)

    My GF got custody when we amicably parted. I still miss that mouse. rimshot

  126. says

    Richard Austin, JMHO, but I highly recommend piano/keyboard first. All the notes are laid out linearly. When other folks are talking about “flat the third” or “just raise it up a key” or “minor, not major” it all makes sense visually. And then that translates to all the other instruments.

    I say this because I learned to play the guitar first. I can noodle around on any western stringed instrument, (w/ fiddle it’s mainly pizzicato), but I really have to think about chord structure and which finger is flatting what string when I try to keep up with musicians.

    (p.s. I can’t keep up, but I’m like a drummer, occasionally they let me hang out with them.)

  127. Gnumann says

    @Giliell: *groan* Violence does not of course solve anything, but if I’d been there it would’ve been very tempting to slap him silly.

  128. says

    Gnumann (Gnumann! [/Seinfeld]) “Violence does not of course solve anything”

    Nope. Violence solves somethings. It doesn’t solve everything. And I think it would have been exactly the wrong thing to do in that case, that father is clueless.

    But I wanted to slap him silly too.

  129. Matt Penfold says

    @Giliell: *groan* Violence does not of course solve anything, but if I’d been there it would’ve been very tempting to slap him silly.

    It is true violence does not solve anything, but sometimes fantasying about slapping an idiot can be very soothing.