I just got a request to advertise a conference, and here’s the flyer they sent to me.

O Bitter Cruelty! It’s like they’re taunting me with their weather! And notice…I’m not one of the invited speakers. I get to just stay here in the frozen Northland and watch the icicles grow on my mustache while I fight off the savage penguins and starving polar bears.

Just for that, I’m not going to mention the Southern California Humanist Conference in San Diego on 5 February. I hope they all sweat and get sunburns and that their bikinis and speedos are all just a little bit too tight.