Sometimes, my email is a little disturbing.
I AM the “goddamned cracker” sir. This is a personal invitation. I am Karl Duane Anderson. I live at REDACTED in Fargo, North Dakota. If you want to desecrate the Body of Christ, please find out just what it is that you are desecrating. Come to my upstairs apartment and do it to me.
What, a cracker is asking me to come to his apartment and nail him? I’m flattered, sir, but this is not Craig’s List, I do not swing that way, and if I did, I would respond better to an invitation to dinner and a movie than to ordering me directly to your place to do you.
However, I am such a nice guy that I will inform Karl that he will have an opportunity to meet plenty of godless folk at the 2010 Red River Valley Freethought Convention, taking place on 18 September at the Radisson near the Fargo Civic Center. Ease in, big fella, let’s just have some pleasant conversation.
(Oh, yes, I still get cracker mail, although it’s now down to about a half-dozen pieces a week, about evenly split between aggressive angry jerks and formal hand-written letters on flowery stationery from little old ladies crying about how much Jesus loves me.)