The results are in, and I’m sorry to say that women dressing provocatively caused no significant statistical difference in the frequency or magnitude of earthquakes. Geology is simply unimpressed by small localized fat concentrations on the short-lived bodies of mammals.
I’m afraid, though, that the experiment didn’t test the alternative hypothesis: that there is a lecherous god using reverse psychology on us. That’s the problem with the whole god idea — it’s a shifting target.
All those boobs left an earthquake in my pants.
Gyeong Hwa Pak, Scholar of Shen Zhou says
I don’t know about this. The Biblical God is usually to concerned with the condition of the male penis to care much for lesbian sex.
Obviously, god likes boobs.
Chris Hegarty says
I agree with #2: there’s definitely some hardcore phallic fixation in El Bible.
Besides, I find it very hard to believe that any fictional being couldn’t like boobs. They’re something that, quite generally, we can all agree upon. When political or societal problems threaten to tear us apart, boobs bring us back from the brink.
The most important lesson to learn from all this is that, according to the cartoon, Jehovah is clearly Patrick Stewart.
I tried to convince my kids that my shirt was causing an earthquake, but they told me it was just me shaking the couch. So much for trying to get them to believe in an activist god.
Of course, Tim Minchin has a song that covers this as well. Kind of. (nsfw lyrics)
Andreas Johansson says
That’s just a smokescreen to make the lesbians think they’re not being watched.
It’s a pity no boob was on display during boobquake :-(
I found all that immodesty quite modest.
Nothing to shake the earth, nor anybody in the vicinity, here in France.
Here full naked boobs are shown on TV ads on prime time.
On the plus side this means that it requires further experiments.
Reginald Selkirk says
I am tired of seeing the “Waiting for twitter.com…” message while I wait for your web pages to load. Could you please design your page to display actual web content before the twitter stuff? Thank you.
Ewan R says
Can we definitively say that there was a statistically significant increase in provocative dressing on a global scale? I think we need a bigger study.
One data point is nowhere near enough. we need Boobquake 2.0. Also, I did not see anyone at the University of New Mexico participating.
Glen Davidson says
It’s really the ultimate in anthropomorphism to think that the earth is affected by boobs like men are.
However, replication really is the key to science, so a repeat is clearly indicated. And I say this solely because of my commitment to science.
Maybe, we can use this to the advantage of mankind. Instead of causing earthquakes, exposed cleavage might reduced the number of earthquakes or at least the magnitude. It’s much harder to shake the earth if one of God’s hands is already, umm…. busy.
Maami Wata and Jesus
Robert H says
Scoff while you can, unbelievers! I predict that within the next year there will be earthquakes, tornados, floods and droughts all directly attributable to Boobquake! Women contemptuously shaking their breasts will get us all killed-make them stop now!
i’m waiting for the men over at spike tv or one of the men’s mags to declaire the clarics who made those original claims a national hero for getting the ladies to show off more flesh.
I for one approve of those magmaiferous mammaries.
I am amused by the photograph in the first link – I see mostly guys. And they’re not even showing off their manboobs!
There is the possibility that all the boobs participating must shake simultaneously and in phase, the (approximate) spherical symmetry of the Earth’s surface makes it even more important to coordinate this kind of experiment accurately.
I will not be surprised if an investigation concludes that the fine effects of this experiment has cancelled out due to symmetry. In any case it will be difficult to extract these from what is well known as The Background Boob Movement Noise Effect on Geological Activity. One should also consider the effects of other body parts, like toes, lobules, etc.
We had a 6.6 here in Taiwan. Curse you mammaries!
Even if they did end up causing earthquakes, it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, think of all the jiggling boobles!… *wanders off to dreamland*
Feynmaniac, Chimerical Toad says
If we are truly to be scientists surely we require more data to draw definite conclusions. We need more boobquakes to properly test the hypothesis, let’s say N=1000.
Ta-tas Tease Taiwan to Tremble.
The women had their shot to make the earth shake. Boys, gear up for weinerquake!
I absolutely love tits. I am glad exposing them or more of them does not bring natural disaster.
As I said yesterday, or perhaps the day before, I got my cock out. This study might not prove that boobs cause earthquakes, but it does prove that my cock prevents them.
Q: Did the earth move for you, darling?
Quod Erat Doofustratum.
Wait….is this a good thing?
We have to consider the possibility that women were just not immodest enough. We just need to change one of the variables in the experiment: we need more than just cleavage, we need to see some nipples!
We’ll show you ours if you show us yours. >:]
Then again, that might just bring on the apocalypse…
Not only further experiments, but variation. This fall, I propose Assquake.
We might want to consider renaming it. That one is vulnerable to some very sophomoric humor. Trust me, that’s my specialty.
Geology’s opinion notwithstanding, I continue to be amazed. I think many more trials are required in order to reach a firm conclusion.
Steven Mading says
Boobquake made last night’s Colbert Report.
Believe me, you were not the only one who thought that.
Oh, I don’t know… All those easily tempted males doing whatever at the sight of female flesh might cause a disturbance on our little planet.
In other news, this ought to make you happy: Citizens in Lebanon Rally Against Religion in Government
That false priest doesn’t know anything about Me! I quite liked the Boobquake, and that’s why I didn’t destroy Taiwan completely, even though that horrible Brainquake celebrating abominably brainy and uppity women took place at the same time.
Tuxedo Cartman says
In Iran, women dress conservatively; lots of earthquakes.
In Las Vegas, women dress occasionally; no earthquakes.
Ergo, God likes him the titties. Makes sense.
Ergo, God likes him the titties.
Or at least so he claims. He is a hell of a homophobe, after all, so it could be an attempt to inflate his masculinity.
Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom says
ur doin it wrong
Patrick Stewart is god. Some asshole scribe was hard of hearing in Judea and transcribed the name completely wrong.
Did you see that the Facebook event page had over 200,000 attendees and over 1200 pictures posted?
(Those were the numbers as of a few hours ago when I wrote about Boobquake on my blog.)
The fact that so many women not only did their women-power roar, but showed off their bodies online was a bit of a surprise to me. It would seem many are quite proud of an asset which they have little control over (clothes: yes, but genetics: certainly not).
The Countess says
I’m convinced that planning for Boobquake caused that volcano in Iceland to erupt. Dontcha think eruptions are more suitable when it comes to immodest women giving poor, weak Iranian clerics boners than earthquakes?
Yeah, I saw news about Brainquake too. Anti-climactic.
Wow what a waste of thought and time !
I prefer the explanation of a friend.
The ‘god’ of earthquakes is actually a Goddess (Mother Earth) and the reason that Tehran gets so many earthquakes is that she is thoroughly pissed off at the repression of women there.
If the men of Iran wish to avoid calamity, they must stop repressing women immediately and allow them to wear/do whatever they want.
Hey, if God got all earthquaky when women ran around in skimpy clothes, why did He create them nude in the first place?
Doug Meyer says
I think that we’ll need a do-over (or several). Especially in West Lafayette. And in Minnesota, now that the weather is beginning to cooperate.
John Morales says
JJH23 @43, you, of course, were not wasting your thought and time writing that. No, not at all! :)
You apparently don’t understand how some geeks like to spend their time. I once passed the time at work doing back-of-the-envelope calculations to figure out if the ring in Halo was actually depicted in screenshots as being in a Lagrange point*. Some people like numbers.
* It wasn’t of course. Nothing in that game was drawn to scale. But that’s okay.
I can’t believe PZ overlooked the obvious title for this piece:
BOOBQUAKE WAS A BUST.
Energy Boy says
I think we need to have regular boobquakes to get a proper sample size and retest count. Also we need cover-up days to compare against. Also more boobs.
I think Chain Bear covers God’s priorities just right:http://bit.ly/cZ8dBJ