I live in Minnesota; Tim Pawlenty is our governor, and he’s got his bland and uninteresting gaze fastened on the White House. Don’t be fooled. He’s just another Republican hack who has been drifting ever right-ward towards increasing lunacy. He was interviewed in Newsweek, and this will give you an idea of what kind of waffly worthless panderer he is.
Well, you know I’m an evangelical Christian. I believe that God created everything and that he is who he says he was. The Bible says that he created man and woman; it doesn’t say that he created an amoeba and then they evolved into man and woman. But there are a lot of theologians who say that the ideas of evolution and creationism aren’t necessarily inconsistent; that he could have “created” human beings over time.
The Bible doesn’t mention Tim Pawlenty’s parents, Eugene and Ginny, anywhere, either, and neither does it mention Tim Pawlenty, so apparently the question of Pawlenty’s origins are still open. This all fits with my theory that he is merely a recent conglomeration of mindless amoeboid slime.
Is evolution becoming the new abortion (as a litmus test)?
2012? Yea, like we’re gonna be alive anyway.
Not to worry. I’d never vote for that guy.
I will be glad to cast my vote for Senator Franken in 2016, though. I like that guy more every day…
Gee, Tim, what does the Bible say about the origin of amoebae? Oh, that’s right, there’s nothing in it about them, since humans hadn’t seen them yet.
Go back to believing in a flat earth with a dome over it, Tim. That’s the real cosmology of Genesis, so you’d better believe it.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Pawlenty is also a hero to those who believe that it’s socialistic to spend tax dollars on public works. The next of kin of the people who died in the I-35W bridge collapse might have a different opinion.
“Do not vote for Pawlenty in 2012”???
I know, I know, He supported the notion of homeschooling and faced down the education lobby Nazis.
But, still, duh.
You’re asking quite a bit here. There are just so many people I plan on not voting for in 2012.
At least Pawlenty realizes that scientists aren’t supposed to be the ‘go to’ guys on evolution. No, you can cherry-pick theologians. Not that this is what he’s advising; after all, we don’t have to waffle over whether can be sure “God is who he said he was.” They’ve managed to match the voice-prints and handwriting, and they’re getting to work on the DNA.
Or you can ask a stray theologian. They’re free range.
Insulting amoebas now, are we?
The Bible also says that The “sons of God” had sex with the “daughters of men,” and had sons who became “the mighty men of old, men of renown.” (Genesis 6). Somebody should ask Pawlenty what he thinks about that.
I agree! Keep his damage to one state! He’s already screwed us over enough, we Minnesotans need to drop him like we did Norm Coleman…but via a less lengthy process.
What is it about you Minnesotans that you keep coming up with these off the wall politicians? Is it in the water? the air? what?
When Pawlenty says about having signed a law “prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation in public accommodation, housing, and employment”:
“That statute is not worded the way it should be. I said I regretted the vote later because it included things like cross-dressing, and a variety of other people involved in behaviors that weren’t based on sexual orientation, just a preference for the way they dressed and behaved. So it was overly broad.”
I hear: Look, if we can’t tell at a glance who gets fucked and who does the fucking, how will we know how to treat them? And the nerve of them, having a preference for the way they dress and behave.
Obviously, these smug, right-wing assholes need to get together and decide just which batshit misrepresentation of evolution they are going to spew out. Sanford said we are the result of two mosquitoes hooking up in a mud puddle. Pawlenty says it was amoeba. Which one, guys? Or maybe several idiotic strawmen help their cause better.
Sanford quote:
http://listserver.sigmaxi.org/sc/wa.exe?A2=ind0601&L=chs-sci-net&F=l&P=1207
Long dark cold winters and insufficient goats to provide heat, illumination, and brains.
Sorry, ‘amoebae’.
First I heard of Pawlenty was in the aftermath of the bridge accident. Second I’d heard of him was when he was being floated as a potential McCain running mate. And now this….so not suprised.
So Satan sired Pawlenty. . . . It all makes sense now!
1. Metazoans did NOT evolve from amoebae. In fact, the opisthokonts (animals, fungi & co) are a sister clade to amoebozoa, the major amoeba-containing group. Furthermore, choanoflagellates, who branch paraphyletically immediately next to metazoa, are hard-core flagellates. While it is possible that they simply diverged a crapload, their paraphyly suggests that a flagellate, or perhaps a predominantly flagellate amoeboflagellate, was the ancestral state for Metazoa+Choanos. Don’t perpetrate that myth further, please. (see Cavalier-Smith 2009 J Eukaryotic Microbiology for further info)
2. Amoebae (the actual kind) are actually quite intelligent, and have more sophisticated behavioural patterns than we’d like them to. They are also fascinatingly complex and beautiful organisms to look at. That Tim Pawlenty scum apparently is not.
-Psi Wavefunction-
Internet’s Defender of Protists =P
I’m already working to get our own drifting ever rightwards politician, Joseph Lieberman, out of office.
Yeah, it also says that rabbits chew cud, a snake spoke, and pi is about 3.
How can someone charged with making decisions at the public level be trusted when they think deities are real and ancient fables are a superior source of knowledge and wisdom?
Scary.
In South Carolina news, do not vote for Gresham Barrett for Gov.
and if you really want to see someone not to vote for check out Santorum’s comments here.
My mother and father receieved a commendation from the state of Minnesota for their marriage of 50 years when Arne Carlson was governor. He signed it.
I told a friend about this whose parents are plannning to celebrate their fifty years of marriage.
He said, “Yes, it’s a good idea, but they won’t want to see Pawlenty’s signature on it.”
Hey, do you get a fucking badge for that? It’s a pretty bad ass title.
The scary shit is that this was his response to the question, “How are the wife and kids?”
I’m sorry, but I honestly don’t demand my politicians have doctorates in Chemistry or Mathematics. Why do they also seem to try and trot out their degrees in Theology?
I know it’s a hard thing to ask a politico to fund education without jamming his hand up every teacher’s rectum and working them all like some kind of national puppet-master. And I know some people won’t believe your sincerity until you’ve praised the Sweet Baby Jesus a thousand times in the public square.
But sweet Mary and Moses, what does this jibberish have to do with running for high office? Creationism isn’t going to reduce the ballooned deficit. It doesn’t really speak one way or another to your experience at foreign policy. It fails to address health care coverage or highway spending or
This has nothing to do with nothing. It’s empty bullshit. Non-issue. If “creationism” is what Tim Pawlenty wants to make his campaign about, I’m avoiding this guy like the seventh plague.
OK. I promise to not vote for him.
@Michelle R Author
My mortgage is paid off in 2012. I hope I can live long enough to see it. Kind of unfair for civilization to fail just after my last payment.
In further news, Pawlenty announced that horoscopes will be cast prior to government hiring decisions and that employees will be issued with wood to touch in order to counter hubris.
Sigh…I dimly remember the days when Minnesota and my state of Michigan had a rep for being somewhat progressive.
I figure I have about 25 good years left. I have a fading hope that I’ll see a turnabout in my lifetime.
Unless, as seems to be happening, Michigan becomes the Mississippi of the North.
Wait, I thought we needed defense from protists, and not the other way around! Kidding, somewhat. Pawlenty even irks my conservative father, which is interesting. Of course, he’s kind of the hate-all-politicians type.
When, if ever, will supporters of abortion rights, gay rights, etc, get to the most important point of the laws that would prohibit these – namely that these prohibitions are based on theological dogma and are unconstitutional.
Its not ‘family values’ or ‘social traditional’ – its religion.
Why did PZ not write anything more about global warming???
@Kev_S: Who said the universe had to be fair to you? It’s always being a bitch, really.
I believe that God created everything
Only in Idiot America could somebody this stupid be elected governor.
I hate this guy!
What drives me nuts about Pawlenty is that he physically resembles a very dear friend to the extent that is is creepy. Like my friend Mark was posessed by an evil demon. I expect to see his head spinning around for a while.
There was a time when my duaghter, when she was pretty little, really liked Pawlenty … because they spent a few hours in a waiting lounge and an airplane traveling from West Asia to the US, and he charmed her. Obviously they did not speak of the actual issues. Just another reason for me to see him as evil incarnate.
If Pawlenty ran for reelection in Minnestota he would likely lose, unless the Dems stupidly put up two candidates instead of one and split their own vote.
Which, now that I think about it, they always do, and thus, Minnesota usually has a Republican Governor. We are so fucking stupid.
Oh right. Like 80% of the US population and a few billion other people.
Not exactly a standout qualification to run for anything. Even a moron could claim that. In fact, morons do claim that.
I have 10 fingers and 10 toes. Top that Pawlenty.
Glen Davidson @ #4 said:
Well said, Glen.
I add, …and Tim, your belief in that little, retarded, 1800 page world is well deserved for your general lack of academic and cognitive ability.
T-paw…a wonderful example of a complete fucktard!
Governor.
Governor.
USA! USA! USA!
’nuff said.
Naturally, when looking for answers about the origins of life, Pawlenty looks to theologians.
Genesis 1 also says God created the sky; doesn’t say anything about cyanobacteria expelling oxygen into the atmosphere. That must mean that the banded iron formations in Minnesota’s Mesabi Range must not exist.
@longhorn10
Evolution has been my first litmus test for a long while now. Politicians who deny evolution invariably reveal upon further inspection of their records a near-total lack of intellectual curiosity and acceptance of unscientific idiocy. I do not want someone representing me who is so easily swayed by arguments as bad as those that come from creationists.
Pawlenty said:
Damn skippy. Think about it. If humans evolved from amoebea, why are there still amoebea?!!
It’s because John Galt is servicer of your mortgage, and he’s going to quit his job as soon as he collects the last payment. This will result in the collapse of the entire economy, and the end of civilization. He’ll teach people like you a much deserved lesson about how special and smart and under-valued he was.
There wasn’t ever any real danger of my voting for Mr Pawlenty. Even my parents, who probably did vote for him, are tired of him. No, he probably couldn’t be re-elected governor. So it must be time for a promotion.
I’m often tempted to switch to rethuglican in the primaries, and vote for the biggest moron. But I’m always afraid that it would come back to haunt me.
At least he didn’t expressly reject evolution, but instead suggested that evolution and the Bible might be compatible. That’s an improvement on many of his colleagues in other states.
Essentially, I get the impression that Pawlenty – unlike, say, Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck – is neither stupid nor insane. He says what he has to say in order to get the support of the party base, but I doubt he’s a serious wingnut at heart. He strikes me as one of the better options in the GOP at the moment. (Though, admittedly, I’m a British observer with no direct experience of Minnesota state politics.)
But reality-based thinking is hard!
This is interesting, Paul. Notice that he has conflated God with the bible itself, if you follow the logic of his semantics.
But also: Why, strictly speaking, does this compatibilist viewpoint preclude him from being a good governor? Doesn’t this friendly view of his take all the venom out of what would otherwise be something with bad consequences?
Cheers,
NS
noted scholar #45 wrote:
While he’s not taking a hardline creationist view, Pawlenty isn’t really taking the compatibilist viewpoint either. He seems to be playing both sides of that fence, lending support to the idea that it’s just fine to “choose” which scientific theories you accept, and which you reject, because religion trumps everything. Or, perhaps, personal preference in religion trumps everything.
That’s a very sloppy philosophy. It’s not science-friendly. At best, it’s vote-friendly.
Show us the birth certificate!
The fact that he’d accept the bible as being written by god because someone told him so is stupid beyond comprehension – but then Pawlenty is demostrably incomprehensible and demonstrably has difficulty comprehending things.
lol! Amoeboid Slime for a Governor, have you? And mindless at that! Alas! Is all too common a phenomenon these days still.
I just wanted to tell you that I read your write up in New Scientist (great subscription, thrice renewed) and I think they got you right. For the most part, eh. :) It was a cool surprise to see you in there and it reminded me to be thankful that blogging was taking off when it did and I found your original site at a good time .. um.. ecumenically in my life. lol! Err, I was raised RC and went through tons of New Agery and the like between my teens and 30s and was still in a Rageful chapter of my atheism. See your snarkily intelligent take on our species helped me chill out and see my own life as an allegory.
Yeah, I know. YOU did that? lol No worries. No blame assigned. Just Thanks for being free and openly PZ! And Happy Holidays to your whole agora here! May all your xmas trees, stripper poles and yardarms and menorahs have 8 tentacled Stars on top! (Not sure how that’ll affect the lighting of the menorahs tho… :D )
mikecbraun:
I prefer the South Park version of human origins myself. Drunk pig, drunk elephant – making sweet love.
The teabaggers have a saying: God created Minnesota to train the faithful. One cannot go against the word of God ;)
Is there a Republican in the US who is neither liar nor evil?
Would you publish the name of anyone you could find? I’m sure it wouldn’t take up much space.
http://www.wltx.com/
SC poll in desperate need of crashing. Help me out!
Oh gosh, the problems of commenting late at night! The Venn diagram misses the obvious group. Our list will exclude the evil and liars but will be overwhelmed by fools.
Don’t vote for Pawlenty? We hear and we obey!
Well, actually, I just hate the bastard. What PZ has to say about him doesn’t make much difference of course. Nice post, non-the-less.
What a waffler. Take a stand you weasel. We wonder if he’s as waffly on…
1. Ginger vs. Mary Ann
2. Boxers vs. briefs
3. Yaweh vs. Allah (in a no-holds barred cage match.)
|It’s because John Galt is servicer of your |mortgage, and he’s going to quit his job as soon |as he collects the last payment. This will result |in the collapse of the entire economy, and the end |of civilization. He’ll teach people like you a |much deserved lesson about how special and smart |and under-valued he was.
| llewelly
Who is John Galt?
(BTW, how do you do quotes?)
For the second day in a row I have to dissent from the popular opinion here.
PZ, as a governor you cannot deny the effort at bipartisanship that he puts in. He is a republican in a strong democratic state, and there isn’t any chaos as there was and is in CA and NY.
Oh let’s not be silly. The only electable Minnesotan presidential candidate would be a certain professional wrestler.
Joe Lieberman isn’t up for reelection until 2012 but I will happily contribute to the campaign of anyone who opposes him and I’m not even from Connecticut.
Destlund @ 59:
Who is now shilling in a show about “conspiracies”. Not a lot of credibility there. Then again, considering many voters… ;)
Caine, I wouldn’t vote for him in a million years, but I’m a Texan, so I know an awful lot about crazy governors. Ann Richards, we miss you.
@llewelly
“John Galt..’ll teach … you”
*smile*
(double smile b/c I used to hang out on a blog with a lot of RE investors/retire early types and they used to start threads about Atlas Shrugged … and not all of them were being ironic)
In further news, Pawlenty announced that horoscopes will be cast prior to government hiring decisions and that employees will be issued with wood to touch in order to counter hubris.
Please–please do not use the word Pawlenty, touching and wood in the same sentence.
It’s the stuff brain bleach was designed for.
Bible never mentions housecats in particular, so they must have been created sometime postdiluvium, meaning they could only be either the spawn of the devil, or a microevolution of dogs.
Let me go and try and breed dogs and cats to prove it. Wait – that would be attempting to prove something, when cats are obviously a test of faith.
Get thee behind me, Fluffy!
I think it would be fun to see Pawlenty get Scozzafava’d. Makes for a fun sentence, at least.
Lks lk yr wbst s ndr ttck frm sprntrl frcs…
http://dyn.pltc.cm/mmbrs/frms/thrd.cfm?ctd=2&sbctd=7&thrdd=3449994
y rlly nd t dd cmmnt mdrtn t yr blsphmy…