Yeah, crazy people write to me, too.
Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen!
I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson “actress” actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career,
surname Galabekian, because of adoption happened in 1992. Clones was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy), most important – CHRISTIAN young lady! I’ll tell you more, those clones (it’s not only one) made in GERMANY – world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ”actress” career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett Galabekian family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorize personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!Her close friend Serge G.
P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION.
So, I’m sure everyone wants to know…what is the mailing address of this cloning factory in Ludwigshafen am Rhein? Are they taking orders for Scarlett Johannsen clones? Do they have any other models in stock?
I dunno. It’s weird, but I’m not sure it quite holds up to those nutters worshipping the 2,000 year old zombie what does the water-inta-alcoholic beverage thang at weddings…
I mean, that shit’s freaky weird, I’ll tell ya…
So the clone’s real name is Jordan Two Delta, and if she’s really good, she gets to go to The Island? and make out with Ewan McGregor?
Be careful what you ask for, the trophy wife may make some orders too…
I’ll take two! Oh, I’d also like a Jenna Malone if they’re taking orders.
Frankly my dear, i don’t give a damn.
I could tell a clone from the real thing: they don’t blink!
Seems this is making rounds on the internet.
Just do a search for Scarlett Galabekian
I smoked a bowl with Helmut Kohl.
My emails are never this good. What am I doing wrong?
http://gawker.com/393521/scarlett-johansson-clonegate-blows-lid-off-actresss-illegal-genetic-twin
http://jezebel.com/5100864/scarlett-johansson-is-actually-a-clone
Rev’s correct.. this isn’t new.
It may not be new, but it’s damn sure crazy, and that’s good enough for me.
I’ll take Johanson to my place to keep forever, in order to right this grave wrong.
It’ll be a burden to me, of course, but I’m just that intent upon justice.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Sounds like Robot Chicken meets the Boys From Brazil.
I am just shocked…
I can’t find where to order one of these anywhere on the interwebs!
Very curious grammar choices here. Timecubish, almost.
More seriously, I’d suggest the ‘clone’ in question is probably in some danger.
Is it sad that the thing I’m stuck thinking after reading this ridiculous rant is, “Why the hell does it matter that the original chick was a Christian?”
Of course, that might merely indicate that the copy is easier to brainwash and control…
But yeah, DANG, some people are nuts. I wonder what nut-job started this?
What’s so crazy about that?
Yeah. That of course doesn’t diminish the crazytude.
Man, that factory can have some of my biological material to clone so long as I get a cut of the sexy actress’s profit. Sounds like a great deal! Where do I sign?
Nordrheinische Humanbau GMBH
Gräfenaustraße 4
67063 Ludwigshafen am Rhein
Germany
But don’t get too excited – cloning process takes about ten to fourteen years … then there is the subconcious conditioning, the biotechnological enhancements and, not to forget, the overriding commands, who make sure, that the Human-Faksimile (HF) does not go rampage and always is loyal to the Gemeinschaft zur Föderung der Kleintierzucht und globalen Dominanz e.v.
Oh, and 97% of the fabrics are total dumbasses … as always.
Damn. And all I ever get is financial news from Nigeria.
Rev BigDumbChimp wrote:
Yes, but, fortunately, it appears that what’s making the rounds is this particular email — not a conspiracy theory which people are actually buying into. It’s apparently only one guy, and I don’t think we’re stepping too far into the psychologists’ territory to say he’s almost certainly mad (in the classic, technical sense — not in the YEC sense.)
I do think we should start up a rumor that Jenny McCarthy is an Indigo Child, though.
WHAT? Where’s my Scarlett Johannsen
sex dollclone?Can I get a clone of the character Victor from Dollhouse, PLEASE??????
And can the Dollhouse please program him to really love teh gay seks??
Who is Scarlett Johansson?
If I don’t know, does that mean I’m getting old?
Hmmmm…..spelling consistent (if weird), quite imaginative in a Battlestar G/Boys from Brazil kind of way, no updates or new revelations since last year; I’m going to go with either a viral marketing thang or a fake.
However, if I’m wrong, I’ll have a Lauren Bacall circa Big Sleep, please.
Yeah, you say that now, but just wait until she starts dreaming about unicorns and you need to call Deckard to clean up the mess. Nothing funny about broken replicants.
I’d rather start a rumor she’s really a morlock.
Wow… I think a few screws may be loose…
just a quick off-topic, sorry…
Do those Typekey login thingies allow you to ‘view my posts’?
I’m not sure if i can be bothered getting one, but that could be the deciding factor, I always forget where my posts are…
Cosmic Teapot, this is Scarlett Johansson.
Please note, this is not typical of my links. Please take this as my apology.
DaveH said;
Do you think they give discounts for bulk orders? If so, one Welsh Rugby team for me please.
Now, Serge G., this just won’t do. It’s Dr. Helmut Kohl to you, if you don’t mind. Just because you’re certifiably insane doesn’t mean we can’t maintain proper decorum here.
Also, I’ll have a Jena Malone as well please, if we’re pooling orders.
Do they have any other models in stock?
They had one with the higher brain functions disabled, but no one could really tell the difference from the standard model.
My cousin has a clone. It’s called her identical twin, who is also my cousin!
BEAT THAT!
Janine, apology accepted.
This reminds me of the mentally ill cab driver I had on the 4th of July about 8 years ago.
She started ranting about how Madonna was actually a Nazi. Was Hitler’s mistress and was Winona Ryder’s mother. Also that she had been a victim of child pornography in the Playboy Mansion. I disagreed with her about something before I realized she had issues and she accused me of being a Nazi and after she was ranting for a while asked where we were going again…
We jump out of the cab without paying.
I’m not believing that it is not some clown pulling our legs until I seem him carried away, shrieking, and wearing straitjacket.
Hmm. . A good opener for a science fiction plot I guess. But if this guy is for real? He better lay off watching the bad movies from The Life Time Channel.
I’m now on a mission to obtain a fancy Scarlett Johansson
sexclone for myself. Thanks #20, the factory is apparently located here (Google Maps). At this address, a housing corporation has its offices. This is obviously a front. More tips, anyone?Never mind bulk orders, think bargain bin price! :P
Sounds like Jonathan Lee Riches is taking a break from filig his ludicrous lawsuits.
I wonder if Serge knows Lee Mercer Jr.?
http://www.cracked.com/article_16748_p2.html
This just sounds like a typical opinionated taxi driver to me…
Hmm, I rather enjoy the idea of Scarlett Johansson clones. Where might this crazy parallel universe the writer inhabits be located so I can visit for research purposes?
She has that razor badness that only gets worse with the clang and blunder of the backing track going by…
Ha, Scarlett (or maybe her clone) came to my campus maybe two months ago. A skeptic buddy of mine was there just out of strange curiosity (I mean, what kind of event is that, anyway?), and he said some guy in the audience kept trying to ask the actress questions about her being a clone.
I’ll hafta ask my friend again if the weirdo got escorted out of the building or what. I wonder if this dude was the one who dreamt up the conspiracy or if he just read it on the internet and jumped aboard…
I know I’ll get flamed for this, but what’s up with Germany? If I had a nickel for every weird Scientologoist or other conspiracy theorist that comes from Germany or blames Germany, I’d be rich….
Alex Deam said:
Nah, going by the last Six Nations performances that’d be the Scottish team you’re thinking of.
*Ducks and runs*
Oh noes! I have cousins in Ludwigshafen. Or maybe they’re “cousins”?
@Chupacabras: No navels on clones, either. At least according to The Simpsons.
If that guy doesn’t have full-blown schizophrenia, then I will eat my hat.
I’d like to get one…
I’ll take the earely Nina Hartley model, please.
Aww, come on! That’s Dr. Helmut Kohl, please. Those nutters better show some respect to our new clone-army controlling overlords. Bad enough they managed to disclose their secret plans all too early.
Lilly de Lure @ #49,
Nice rugby reference.
Another day, another priest…:
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19238926/detail.html
Reading that, I’ll take the clone nut over the Catholic Church… At least his crazy makes sense in crazy land…
Hmmmm, she doesn’t look Armenian.
Are they taking orders for Scarlett Johannsen clones?
That is all I was thinking. “How can I get one???”. All these years I’ve been planning on going to Tokyo and singing bad Karaoke and all I had to do was get the clone catalog…
We have a running joke that one of our friends is part of a cloning experiment. We keep seeing people that look remarkably like him, down to the same style of glasses and mustache. And our friend was adopted, so that adds to the “conspiracy.”
Now that I think about it, his ancestry might even be German. Hmm.
GFB Klones GMBH
Ludwigshafen am Rhein
Rhineland-Palatinate
INVOICE
PO # 345678
Quantity Cat No. Item List Price
[1] SJ01A Scarlett Johansson, clone XL $2345.89
[1] KK01B Keira Knightley, clone GL $2007.90
[2] FD01 365-day supply clone $450.87
nutritional/selective
dietary supplement
————————————————————–
Shipping [UPS Ground] $123.99
Local Sales Tax /VAT $230.78
PAYMENT DUE OF DELIVERY
Reserve me a copy (or two!) please.
Oh yeah, and I’m still waiting on my Lucy Liu clone that Futurama promised me. Hopefully I don’t have to actually wait until year 3000.
Who knew that Scarlett Johansson was Armenian? You know, the first thing I think about when I look at that tall nordic beauty is, wow, she must be from the Caucases. I bet she knows how to cook a mean shish-kebab, and will probably appreciate my hairy Armenian appearance.
I’ll take a pair of Jennifer Morrisons please; one brunette, one blonde.
Ha. This has gotten a bunch of blog notice – http://gawker.com/5018665/this-just-in-scarlett-johansson-is-a-teutonic-clone
We do not need a whole clone, just a dose of whatever they used to make the clone d**n sexier than the original.
Just imagine: d**n sexier version of anybody!
The most important question is why did they clone the original Scarlett to make movie-star Scarlett? It’s not like she’s the best actress ever, and it seems like it would be much, much easier to get an actress the old-fashioned way, rather than coming up with some vast conspiracy. Also, if some people can come up with this amazing secret cloning factory, do you really think they’d be dumb enough to risk blowing it all by giving the clone the same first name as the original?
But if it really is true, I want to place my order for two Brad Pitt clones, and one each of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
Very curious grammar choices here. Timecubish, almost.
Or maybe just a non-native English speaker. There are crazies in other countries, too. In fact, perhaps moreso. They just aren’t overwhelmingly Christian. The Raelians are from France, and look at all the 9/11 Truthers in Europe. Much higher percentage than in the US.
But I bet George Lucas can.
I wonder if this explains the Scarlett lookalike serving tapas at my local Basque restaurant.
On behalf of d**m sexy people everywhere, I’d like to register a protest: the implication here seems to be we can’t be profanely sexy *and* nice…
(/Sends in the clones.)
We are all Armenians. Even Hitler was Armenian – or else why they would say ‘Hye Hitler’? Look for the Armenian in you.
Wasn’t this an episode of The Twilight Zone?
Yeah, I know they were all pretty much like that, but still…
#68 “…do you really think they’d be dumb enough to risk blowing it all by giving the clone the same first name as the original?”
Yes, Catgirl is right. They should have used the much less obvious Chartreuse Johansson.
PZ:
Good luck with the clone, and I hope the Trophy Wife is bi, because you just know you’re going to have to tell the TW you ordered Scarlett for her as a birthday present.
1 (one) Nichelle Nichols clone, age circa 20 years. Please include Star Trek ‘Mirror, Mirror” costume.
1 (one) Jeri Ryan clone, age circa 20 years. Please include Star Trek ‘Voyager’ metallic blue bodysuit costume.
Do you accept PayPal?
Germany is a world leader in human cloning?
so THAT’s where their designers get all their “special” leather.
metal.
Re: “Germany is a world leader in human cloning?”
You mean Boys from Brazil wasn’t a documentary?
I could tell a clone from the real thing: they don’t blink!
This letter looks suspiciously like the work of Jack Mingo, American. I think that’s the name of the guy who wrote outraged letters to heads of corporations about their pinko commie policies and products…. http://www.mingo-barrett.com/books.htm
“Hello, Enterprise Rent-a-Clone? Yes, I’m going to be traveling this weekend; do you have a 1966 Diana Rigg in stock?”
I want the Hedy Lamar clone, please.
Germany? Heck, last weak we outlawed the only so-far allowed genetically modified corn (from Monsanto). Our stem-cell research is so restricted all the bright biologists flee to the US. And we are supposed to be world leaders in cloning?
Also… how DOES control the clones? US military or NAZI-Germany? Decide! (Or do you equate them? Appropriate maybe for the Bush term…)
I second Cliff’s motion… I would hock my mother for a twenty-something clone of Diana Rigg. Yowza!
Well… that explains a lot.
@Lilly
Including the halfback? what as, a toyboy? Besides do you know what anabolic steroids do to the genitals?
Anyway, where would you put them all and where can you buy Brains up here in Scotland? It’s Doomed I tell ye, doomed!
Best line I heard out of too-brief “Life on Mars” was Gene talking about his ravishing ex-wife: “God made her when Mrs. God wasn’t looking.” We can sub in Ludwigshafen am Rhein for God here…Ludwigshafen am Rhein
#82-
That’s Hedley!
Nah Alex. I’ve met the opinionated cab driver. This was a whole different level.
First of all, WTH.
Secondly, can I get a Scarlett clone anywhere?
Cliff # 81
Ah, the childhood memories…
Mrs. Peel (along with 99 on Get Smart) were the first times that I noticed that there was something, er, different about women.
But if I get a clone, I want the woman from the Herb Alpert LP “Whipped Cream and Other Delights”, with the original packaging.
Can you clone whipped cream?
I’ll bet -5,000 bucks this is true!
Oh dear. I wonder if the person who wrote that meant it as a joke or not.
Paprika Pink,
I don’t get it…is it art? And if so, let’s make up a genre for it!
I already saw this movie on MST3K.
And “actress” is right. I’d order a Johnny Depp and a Lily Taylor.
Oh, and Alan Rickman. I demand Alan Rickman!
Why do people think clone = slave? Are they confusing them with robots? And wouldn’t any clone that was able to be out and about making movies and driving and all have to have been cloned decades ago? I mean, the crazy is obvious in the letter-writer, but this same disconnect seems to happen with fiction-writers and gamers (and fan-boyz) as well.
I can’t be the first one asking this but, uh, where can I get myself a Scarlett clone?
Wow, that guy is STONED….I think they call it matanuska thunderfuck…and it appears he took too many puffs!
I thought it was androids/replicants that don’t blink. Clones don’t have navels. I see SJ has a very nice navel BTW.
Re Lily d Lure – You need the entire rugby team so their IQ adds up to double figures.
And yes. The Stepford Wives WAS a documentary.
It must be fake, she doesn’t have a Facebook page. Now, who is going to take the time to make one. We already have a few personal details. :)
do they come in flavors?
i’m thinking pineapple
or bacon
You’re looking at her navel?
Why do you think robot = slave? That’s just the attitude that will get us Skynet.
Dahhhhmn! Right, screw uni, my students loans have just gone in the bank, so I’m going to town on this German city.
Hrm, I thought Disney had a monopoly on genetically engineered starlets.
OH LAWD! where can i order some clones??? my fantasy would finally come true!!!
Just to bring in some gender balance, where can I get my clones of, say, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, or David Boreanaz? :-)
Wow. At least a 7 on the Timecube scale there. I love how incredibly specific it is – not just some vague “oh, there are lots of clones out there, I know it”, but EXACTING DETAIL! Some say there’s a fine line between genius and insanity – here we see there’s really a yawning gulf.
This one flew into the cuckoo’s nest. A nest overcrowded with the ever exploding cadre of idiots of every stripe, including religion.
Do they have a Salma Hayek model? Can I buy it?
Janine Insulting Sinner @ #31.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh! I had almost forgotten about Scarlet’s catterwaulin’ of Tom Waits tunes. As Ernest said in Ernest Goes to Camp: “Don’t pick it or it will never heal.” “It” being the scabbed over wound in my brain where the Scarlet sings Tom Waits had almost mended.
And here’s Ernest again with a spot on appraisal of Scarlet’s vocal ability.
And as long as everyone’s airing their clone wish list, permit me to add mine:
1. Anna Fulchi, circa “Cemetary Man/Dellamorte Dellamore.”
2. Linda Harrison, circa “Planet of The Apes.”
I’ll warn you all right now, so you don’t have to suffer as I did. The Ludwigshafen am Rhein Rhineland-Palatinate clone manufacturer produces very poor quality sub-par clones. There skin feels like cheap rubber, they eat batters like nothing else, and they leak. Really a bad product. And the produces REFUSES to honor their returns and refunds policy. You have been warned.
He’s right. I must’ve gotten too close to one because I think I’m a clone now.
After listening to her massacre a good Tom Waits song, I do not want a Scarlett Johansson clone.
So that will be one Scarlett Johansson with a side order of Heidi Klum.
Say do you still have any Rachel Welch left? There’s nothing like a traditional favourite.
This isn’t too bad. Diana Krall doing “Temptation”.
I can see this is going to be expensive. But then, this could save the world economy with a new clone bubble!
Questions:
1) Is there a ‘Classic Hollywood’ box set, say with Rita Hayworth, Ingrid Bergman, and Ginger Rodgers? (knowing how marketing is, one of those is probably replaced by Margaret Dumont)
2)Can they be customized to find me attractive?
3)Do they come with a collectible carrying case? (I only have two bedrooms and limited shelf space.)
3)Is there a rental program, like ‘Cloneflix’? I think I’d eventually get tired of Farrah Fawcett.
4) Are they worth more iof kept unopened in the original packaging?
5) How much can I get for my soul on a trade-in for Milla Jovovitch? (It’s never been used.)
Gotta catch em all! After that is up to you.
Do you really want us to answer that? :P
You know, guys, I just don’t think its fair to pick on these types of people. I mean, at least they trying…
Wasn’t this part of the story line for “The Island” Starring Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlett Johansson?
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2968781081/
In the movie it turns out they are clones to be used for whatever reason the person who pays for the clone sees fit. A replacement for a movie star or for spare parts etc.
If you are going to be delusional at least be uniquely delusional sheesh. Delusions based movies is so cliche’
Take it from me as a person who knows better. I wrapped myself in aluminum foil and hid fireworks throughout the outfit after watching Iron man. Then went out to fight crime. Will be released from the hospital in a few days. Lesson learned.
Thank the gods! Finally, something NOT made in China.
@116
Well, if it isn’t an option, I’m going to buy fewer of them. I get get beautiful women who don’t find me attractive just about anywhere, and I don’t have to pay shipping.
Not that I wouldn’t still be interested in a Milla clone, though.
Two questions:
>Can we order in bulk?
>How long do they keep when stored on ice?
Bone Oboe@109
Whew! With those “Ernest” references, I feared you’d be hankering for a Jim Varney clone!
Don’t be a fool! Finish college, get your career established, make lots of money and then you can afford toys like that without ruining your life. Take it from me – been there done that, sold the starship.
But good taste, d00d. There really aren’t many humans better looking then Dr. Cameron.
Oh Alex – take a look at http://www.carnivorous-carnival.com/jennifermorrison/photoshoots?pagency for example
In addition to ordering my clone of Brad Pitt (late 90’s edition), I would also like to order the complete ensemble of accessories. Including the biologically engineered food supplements, starting with the ice cream clone.
(Ducks!)
Why would you get flamed? It’s a legitimate question.
What’s up is that just because the majority of the population isn’t going to any church they don’t stop believing stupid things. So much for people from Germany. The woo is strong here because they ended up favouring other stupid beliefs over Christianity. Fairly predictable.
In fact, I’m sure that if all belief in Christianity vanished from the US overnight, most people would be busy with spiritualism, astrology, crystal healing and all manner of woo the very next day.
As to Scientologists ranting about Germany, it’s because they’re not recognized as a religious organisation, are under surveillance and are generally considered both dangerous and solely a money-making operation by the courts. The fact that they simply want the status most financially advantageous to them in any given country, and that they specifically tried to register as a non-religious organisation in other countries, does not stop them from repeating over and over again that we’re all JUST LIEK TEH NAZIS!
And blaming Germany in general? Simple. The passing of a couple of decades doesn’t stop a perfectly good outdated stereotype from being useful. Nazi Germany was pretty much the last major universal antagonist within Europe. Unless any Western European countries enter into a large-scale long-term military conflict, Germany will stay the preferred scapegoat for dozens of conspiracy theories.
That said, in this specific case, I suspect it was initially a hangup about BASF (omg evil chemicals!), which happens to be situated in Ludwigshafen. The fact that Helmut Kohl (now faded into obscurity) was born there and the addition of “am Rhein” suggests that the writer has been reading up on the city but can’t distinguish relevant from irrelevant facts. Also, good ol’ Serge has three blogger blogs, each with a different title, each with the exact same post as above as the sole entry.
…hooray, I guess. Now excuse me while I instruct my uniformed state-sponsored clone slave to clean the living room (oooh what a giveaway!).
This looks pretty ummmm… reasonable to me. I wonder why we can not “image” the scale of the cloning activity? Does this cloning process produce destructive interference patterns with electromagnetic radiation? Either way, I’m sure as long as the clones are strictly controlled, we should be o.k. Helmut Kohl knows what he’s doing.
On the other hand, you can tell from the grammar that Serge G. is a time traveler. So, perhaps he will have known something we do not?
Will they take an order for a Matsumoto Jun clone for me? Please?
Never heard of the USSR I take it then?
PZ, it sounds like a good thread for one of your trips might be who would you clone and why.
Dang, your spam is better and more interesting than my spam.
Longtime Lurker,
No, I learned my lesson from Family Guy. No messing with Jim Varney, clone or otherwise.
Holy hamstring peanut-suckers Batman! That thing is STILL going around? It’s been getting submitted to the conspiracy theorist section of FSTDT on and off for I don’t even know how long… They just don’t know when to give up, do they?
Wow. All of my poor-grammar spam just offers me Rolex watches and penis enlargements (I have no idea where these people got the idea that I have a penis to enlarge…).
Posted by: Alex Deam @ 41 ” “Do you think they give discounts for bulk orders? If so, one Welsh Rugby team for me please.”
Never mind bulk orders, think bargain bin price! :P ”
I don’t know if that would be a good thing. Bargain bins usually hold the stock that no-one wants or is broken. You could end up with a clone of Ben Stein, Phyllys Diller or Richard Nixon.
Katkinkate, that was my point. I was teasing any Welsh rugby fans here.
And a Ben Stein clone would make a good punchbag, no?
Put me down for one Scarlet please.
I am sure my wife would understand.
‘The list’ rule is still valid if it’s a clone, right!?
You know what I mean.
Is this the German version of the stimulus?
Good to see the efficient Germans account for all sexual needs, however kinky.
Max Mosley will be pleased.
Incidentally, the Catholic Church sees human cloning as a “grave offense to the dignity of that person as well as to the fundamental equality of all people”.
Yes, by making something equal to other people (clone) that apparently offends the equality of all people.
I never got into Scarlett Johansson because I first saw her in Ghost World and found Thora Birch to be way cuter.
Spare me. If it makes you happy, insert *Western* Europe.
The USSR may have been one of major antagonists in the Cold War, but I don’t think it’s easily compared to Germany/WWII, among other reasons because of the nature of Cold War. Go to a football game, talk to elderly British or French people, spend some drunken evenings in pubs. You’ll hear a great many rants about WWII and Nazis but nary a mention of Russia. Why do you think that is? Is it because we’re all Socialists here?
I still hold that the last long-term armed conflict within Europe that had a major impact on how the participants are viewed in today’s Western Europe was WWII. There’s a reason “Nazi” is a universal(ly accepted) insult, if an easy one (see also Godwin’s law), while calling someone a Communist just makes you look paranoid.
Didn’t the Beatles write a song about that…
@ 141: LOVE that movie, and love Thora Birch in it. Scarlett, not so much.
Alex Deam@136
Hmmmm… a Ben Stein form punchbag… there’s a money making opportunity right there. If I get anywhere with it, you’ll get 10%. We can sell it at university campuses, then the world!
(righeious but evil sounding laugh)
You’re lucky. I get Nigerians who want to put $24 million in my bank account and “British solicitors” who tell me in remarkably bad English about how my unknown uncle “Carles” died, leaving me £50 million and they’ll send it to me if I will pay the £100 “probait” fee.
Can I have a 20 year old Kate Bush please and yes I will have the optional extra nymphomania gene.
Please EXPRESS post.
Well it’s obvious – since the clone isn’t blessed with a God Given Soul(tm) it can’t be a proper person, so it must be a slave. It’s all proper and stuff; it says so in The Good Book(tm). Think of it as a Golem made from really high-class clay.
DOCTOR Helmut Kohl? Puh-leeze.
CLEARLY it should be TINFOIL Helmet Kohl. Badda-bing!
Oh, and I’ll take another Alan Rickman.
If she swore, and I pushed her over a cliff, would I be charged with making an obscene clone fall?
I just googled an image of Scarlett Johannsen. Dayamn! Where can I get ME one of them clones?
Put me down for two Keira Knightly-s, a Kylie Minogue, and a baker’s dozen of Jessica Alba-s.
Just invoice me.
GERMANY – world leader manufacturer of humans clones
something tells me our email author saw “The Boys From Brazil” and thought it was a documentary.
…something tells me I should have read the many previous comments to that effect first.
:P
Does Germany have a stripper factory too?
Re 126
These seem reasonable. It just all reminds me of this woman:
http://www.wikitruth.info/index.php?title=Uncensored:Barbara_Schwarz
Germany seems like a neurosis sometimes. Maybe I’ve just been listening to too much Kraftwerk…
It’s a well known fact that clones only last 18 months. Don’t waste your money on this.
I gotta get me one!
I just got a copy of ePostMailer from http://Spryka.com and I would recommend to anyone who needs to send out an opt-in email mailshot. Its the best free desktop based email marketing software I have used so far.
Hmmm, my grandfather is from Ludwigshafen-am-Rhein, and I don’t remember him reporting any cloning activity last time he was there…
Sounds like a job for moose and squirrel.
It’s called an apostrophe, lady! Use it!
“It’s a well known fact that clones only last 18 months. Don’t waste your money on this.”
So do goldfish. Sometimes it’s a blessing. As long as they don’t decide to go on a killing spree at the end of it.
Still, a clone may well stop up the toilet if you try and “bury them at sea”.
It looks like SCIENTOLOGY stuff :D aliens clones ,…
How comes that the clone got such a talent but the original is a f* up christian! ?
I remember the last time we had a goldfish go on a killing spree.
It was horrible.
Can I get the Tricia Helfer clone, Model #6 (naturally)…?
“But don’t get too excited – cloning process takes about ten to fourteen years … then there is the subconcious conditioning…”
Not when you use the RXL-313 Ontogenerator!
Cf. Morrow, James; The Philosopher’s Apprentice.
Fortunately, the little bastard was a lousy shot and took so long to reload that we were able to rush him.
I wonder if I could ammend my clone wish list to include Xenia Seeburg, from the show LEXX.
Get those filthy Tleilax…er, (un-filthy) Germans to fire up those axlotl tanks…I mean Clone-o-matic machines on the double.
Pun realized, but not intended.
OK, so I place an order for a Scarlett Johannsen clone and get an infant that I have to raise to the age of 18? And what if she hates me? What if I hate her? I’ll be almost 70 and hanging out with an annoying teenager (even a pretty one) is probably not going to be my idea of fun.
Ignoring that… do you think most people are unaware that clones are just identical twins misplaced in time?
@ Tom
The problem is that when there are twins you always have one that is evil. However since cloning happens later the older twin must be the good one (how could he be evil since he didn’t know he was a twin?). That makes the clone evil by default.