Jellyfish gettin’ it on, baby


This is too much verisimilitude. The movie below is of the mating behavior of the jellyfish Carybdea sivickisi, and the first thing you’ll notice is that the scientists have set it to good old classic porn music.

The second thing you’ll notice, that I found annoying, is that they used too high a power objective to film it, so everything is jerking everywhere and none of the participants stay in the field of view for any length of time. Why is it that porn is afflicted with so many gynecological close-ups? Come on, set the mood, show us whole individuals instead of fragmented zooms of body parts.

Comments

  1. Ichthyic says

    first Cephalopod porn and now Cnidarian porn in one day?

    Is the trophy wife on vacation?

    :p

    seriously though, I rarely see footage of jellyfish mating.

  2. Ichthyic says

    Did someone get so excited that they forgot to close the tag?

    typing with only one hand would account for that…

    (sorry, just had to!)

  3. Bride of Shrek OM says

    …and just how do YOU know what “good old classic porn music” sounds like PZ?

  4. Jeanette Garcia says

    Hubby couldn’t believe it when he found wifey watching jellyfish porn. What’s the world coming too?

  5. Joe says

    My dad gave me this…um, I guess it’s sort of a tract thangus called “Some Call it Science.” It made me think of your blog, but then it made me drink like, a hojillion brews. God I love brews. I’m a little wasted.

  6. says

    Note that the video was submitted as part of her master’s thesis, was shot in Japan … and is dedicated to her mom. It’s a perfect trifecta of weird. Cheryl Lewis, I salute you.

  7. says

    …and just how do YOU know what “good old classic porn music” sounds like PZ?

    The internet would do well to bring back the classic porn, all this new shit is just an exercise in increasing depravity*.

    *so I’ve been told.

  8. says

    Have you seen human porn lately? Extended closeups of genitals are de rigueur. I worked for an adult website for around 18 months, and I spent a measurable fraction of that time staring at full screen shots of flapping sacks. It wasn’t pretty.

  9. Sphere Coupler says

    Can’t profess to know much about jellyfish, but if a jellyfish isn’t getting any will it’s sting be more toxic or will it be more likly to lash out?

  10. clinteas says

    //Can’t profess to know much about jellyfish, but if a jellyfish isn’t getting any will it’s sting be more toxic or will it be more likly to lash out?//

    *headdesk*

  11. Rey Fox says

    “…and just how do YOU know what “good old classic porn music” sounds like PZ?”

    From growing up during the Classic Porn Age, of course.

  12. foxfire says

    OT and sorry again for introducing a bit of noise into a conversation that appears to be in equilibrium. In an inverted “fitness landscape” ,a random slight disturbance might be the only way out to get over the rim (so go sue Murray Gell-Mann for seeing the connection between a Quark and a Jaguar)

    PZ, I just sent you an e-mail that really REALLY needs to get to SOMEONE in the Obama arena that doesn’t grasp why RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) might not be thundering in his direction.

    I am so very sorry for doing this PZ and I will continue to insert noise until you do what I want. Get IT (the e-mail) to somebody in the Obama contingent

  13. Ichthyic says

    Get IT (the e-mail) to somebody in the Obama contingent

    ??

    and why the fuck would PZ have closer connections to Obama than you yourself?

    he’s just a small college professor, not a political roadie.

    and I will continue to insert noise

    well, it IS random noise, alrighty, though I am starting to detect a pattern of stupid.

  14. rightsaid says

    Woohoo! Thanks for picking this up PZ. Who wouldn’t benefit from watching little jellies get it on?

    I don’t want to speak for the videographer, who will no doubt be thrilled to see her film featured here, but did it ever occur to you that studies on jellyfish sex are not highly funded? Perhaps this combination of objective and camera were the best possible means for documenting the event in pictures that were available at the time.

    I’d ask how this is achieved without a brain, but we all seem to manage as well.

  15. Fernando Magyar says

    Can someone write the numbers for jellyfish sex? http://xkcd.com/487/

    I’m thinking the image on this page might be a start:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attractor

    An attractor is a set to which a dynamical system evolves after a long enough time. That is, points that get close enough to the attractor remain close even if slightly disturbed. Geometrically, an attractor can be a point, a curve, a manifold, or even a complicated set with a fractal structure known as a strange attractor. Describing the attractors of chaotic dynamical systems has been one of the achievements of chaos theory.

  16. Cooper says

    Gynecological closeups are a mainstay of lowlevel ‘professional’ porn. Amateurs just set up the camera on a tripod and go at it, and real pros have at least an inkling of cinematic technique. But the low-budget guys don’t have time to waste on things like the actors’ faces.

  17. Cooper says

    Gynecological closeups are a mainstay of lowlevel ‘professional’ porn. Amateurs just set up the camera on a tripod and go at it, and real pros have at least an inkling of cinematic technique. But the low-budget guys don’t have time to waste on things like the actors’ faces.

  18. moother says

    PZ, the music is just a little porny…

    it’s missing some good ol’ spankin’ wah-wah guitar.

    for a tase of the same please visit joe batan’s Sal Soul. The whole album is a spectaular in entertainment but the 2 in particular are wordless porn masterpieces: “Latin Strut” and “Aftershower Funk”

    Rock on!

  19. foxfire says

    @Ichthyic #21

    “and why the fuck would PZ have closer connections to Obama than you yourself?

    Because he knows more people than I do. And those people know people, and on. Maybe, just maybe one of them knows the right person.

    though I am starting to detect a pattern of stupid.

    OK genius, explain why the Dow dropped 600 + change yesterday and is (as I type) diving another 300+ points. Could the banks be holding onto the big bucks Treasury has been dumping into it to de-leverage as opposed to lending? The market is a complex adaptive system and it is now dying because it has no energy flow (cash flow in this case).

    Yesterday the market dropped 100+ points *after* the bell rang, when the settle-at-close orders were being completed. The volume yesterday was incredible – 2.8 Billion something shares and BIG chunks were being settled after the bell – mutual funds selling off, perhaps? If so, responsible people who invest are gonna see capital gains they have to reconcile with capital losses by selling good stuff they don’t want to sell now at a loss UNLESS someone makes a proposal to allow a roll over of unwanted capital gains BACK into the market so responsible investors do not have a 2008 tax consequence because irresponsible lenders and borrowers and the jerks who bet on the sidelines (think cash default swaps where the buyers have no underlying stake in the real asset that is being insured)are cheating and getting away with the scam.

    Speaking of scams, Captain John and his pit bull might just come back from the grave with this proposal:

    http://www.johnmccain.com/informing/news/PressReleases/a3b8b00b-6d18-49e3-b911-89c97909016d.htm

    The catch is at the end of the 6th paragraph: “That would stabilize financial markets, and t he taxpayers’ contribution would be, in some cases the difference between the values of those two loans, something which would be the necessity for taxpayer contribution. Welcome to the new reward the cheaters world.

    If McCain wins this election, anybody in this country who who doesn’t want to bow down to an invisible sky-fairy better move north to avoid burning at the stake. I’m no big Obama fan and I do know ya pick the least onerous in a bad situation.

  20. Ichthyic says

    OK genius, explain why the Dow dropped 600 + change yesterday

    the pattern of stupid emerges from watching you post OT on many different threads, thinking that somehow that will get what you want to happen.

    seriously, the only reason PZ “knows” more people than you do is because of this blog.

    that being the case, why post requests for him to read your bloody email, instead of just posting your actual screed here?

    If you think someone important to Obama actually knows PZ, then likely it’s because of this blog, and if you post it here, then there is a public record of it.

    frankly, I think the market drops have put a bit too much pressure on your brain.

  21. phantomreader42 says

    Joe @ #9:

    btw. It’s “Jellyfish pr0n.” Get down with the vernacular, G. ^__^

    Which raises the question, does anyone have any prawn pr0n?

  22. Smidgy says

    I guess Rule 34 is true, then.

    *watches to see how many know what I’m talking about*

    :P

  23. Sili says

    This is why I almost exclusively read pr0n these days. And only really slash at that.

    I cannae find any of the regular stuff that isn’t demeaning, objectivising or just plain bad.

    At least the guy-on-guy-written-by-fangirls has the potential to have some genuine emotion to it. Though, I do realise the 95% of everything is crap. Luckily I managed to find myself as coven with some talent pretty early on.

    Just how small are these guys/gals by the way?

  24. David Marjanović, OM says

    Urgh. The music is awful.

    BTW, they aren’t simply jellyfish, they’re killer jellies (Cubozoa).

  25. foxfire says

    @ #34 Patricia:

    In no way would I *ever* threaten PZ and, reading my initial post again, can see how one could interpret it as a threat.

    Ichthyic (#30) is accurate with “frankly, I think the market drops have put a bit too much pressure on your brain.“. That’s probably about 75% of the problem. I hope Ichthyic and all of you are never in the position of being retired (fixed income) and have to watch your hedge against inflation disappear. I’m not being sarcastic, I’m very serious.

    Anyway, I overreacted and apologize and promise not to do it again.

    P.S. The remaining 25% is complete and utter fear that McCain/Palin will somehow manage to pull off an election win.

  26. says

    Oh, the wakka-ch’-wakkas… classic!

    I have to say, though, I noticed the “second thing” before I noticed the “first thing.” This may perhaps be due to my familiarity with porn. I may also be the first one in this thread to openly admit that I enjoy porn, too. (Sorry, didn’t read it all… I’m a bit tipsy on 7&7s, myself.)

    Great stuff, though! Thanks for the link!

  27. Rwar says

    hahahhaha!
    wtf are u watchin jellyfish porn,
    i was on here for some crap at school ?
    but some of you actully watched it o.O
    ewww :)