I’m getting there — I just gave my second final exam for this semester, will get them all graded up tomorrow, and then have one last exam to give on Thursday…then I’m free! Free!
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Already submitted final grades. Start summer classes next week. Oy.
For how many weeks till the next
huntinghuh, teaching seasons starts?My last exam is on Thursday as well, however I’m on the receiving end so I don’t have to deal with any grading issues. And then graduation! Hurray!
You lucky bastards. I’m on the receiving end of three finals over the span of 8 days starting next week.
i dread to think what darkly atheisty things PZ can achieve in his time off.
Paul, I am not sure if this guide to grading exams has appeared on your blog before. It can be a great time saver. Give it a go.
I’m free! Free!
You’re the instructor. You’re supposed to enjoy giving all those squirming students of yours exams. The schadenfreude as you watch their eyes go wide, their bladders give way, and all hope evaporate into mist when they gaze upon the horror that is an exam from P-Zed, the Super-scientist. Think how those poor chumps are going to feel when they’re free. If they ever are….
Free! Free? You are only truly free…of grades, exams and the rest…when you retire! (Enjoy – don’t rush it. From a retired old fart.)
#6
When I was a TF, I drew just such a diagram on the blackboard before our grading session. The professor was not amused. I decided not to take credit for my artwork.
I’m beginning to think that PZ Myers never sleeps. It’s the only way I can account for his regular posts
You’re free?? This is your chosen profession, you get paid for this, you enjoy teaching…
Me, I’m the one that’s free. Received my final grades on Monday, will graduate on Saturday, summa cum laude. Only took me 14 years from the day I graduated high school (2+ years on, 7 years off, the last 5 full-bore).
As I told my family following my final class on Thursday night – I’m a free man.
I’m done done done…………YWAYYYYHAYY
ugh, my exams are stil a long, long way away…(mid-june)
Your student should be cheering,you’re really fast. I’ve had teachers who took over a month to grade anything, be it 20 page reports or 2 page (multi choice) tests.
Heh… well, I’m outta here, at least. Just some last minute running-around to get Dept. Chair signatures to take all the courses I still need at another institution over the summer.
Then I can finally leave central PA for Manhattan. Oh glorious joy!
And if you can’t be free, at least you can try to be cheap!
Now don’t be sad, two out of three ain’t bad.
I’ve been done with finals for two weeks now. Arizona State gets out really early so that the flames of hellfire don’t consume us all. Of course, that means we start way too early in August.
In the midst of this professorial levity, I wish to interject a completely off-topic question.
My son, in second grade, is quite interested in science. Specifically, he says, “talking is boring, I want to do experiments”.
I think I’d previously mentioned to him that a lot of chemists get into the field because they like to blow things up. So, he’s excited about chemistry (no, he’s no violent and not a terrorist or anything, he just loves the idea of making explosions).
Anyway, how do I best guide him? I don’t expect his public school to be quite sufficient. I’ve actually been trolling the list of Intel science finalists (and semifinalists, if I can find it) to find the high schools that have the most so I can properly position him. Since it’s second grade, it’s kind of early, but I’d like to help him along as best I can. He’s quite bright, asks terrific questions, and has been interested in the sciences for most of his life (when he was three, for example, he knew the bones and structures of the middle and inner ear). He also leans pretty strongly towards atheism and has had debates with creationists in his second grade class.
So, any advice? Even on where to go to get good advice?
One other wrinkle, while I have something of a scientific background (experimental psych (with a strict behaviorist), neurobehavioral research in college), a lot of the guidance will also be done by my fashion designer wife.
So, PZ, if a student answers an exam question by appropriately cites evolutionary principles in a way that addresses the question flawlessly, but then amends their answer with “…but I don’t believe in any of that evolutionism claptrap, because I’m a good little Christian nutjob. Praise Jeezus and death to the demon PZ Myers!”
How would you grade them?
I’m proctoring my final exam even as I type…but I still have a pile of lab reports to slog through. But then freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose; nothing ain’t worth nothing, but it’s free.
Whatever that means.
free?
P.Z., don’t sell y’self short brotherman…
Try this on for size,
After some bidness Thursday my play-book opens up and you know I’m always affordable.
This is nothing new. Last term, a couple of students turned in exams that attempted to answer the questions appropriately, and then at the end, in great big letters, they scrawled “I LOVE GOD!!!”.
It was easy. You just ignore the irrelevant editorial comments and grade them only on the answers to the questions.
Alas, much as I would like to prove my impartiality by declaring that these students all got excellent grades on this exam, some of them still did very poorly. Students who feel the need to engage in furious grandstanding usually aren’t coming in to the exam very well prepared.
(Oh, and if they wrote “I HATE GOD” instead, that would also be the kind of comment that would be ignored in evaluation.)
Here ya go:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/05/subversive_chemistry.php
PZ,
Could you post a couple of sample questions from your final exam here?
PZ,
You forgot the resonant, mad-scientist laugh. But otherwise, I feel ya.
“I’ve been done with finals for two weeks now. Arizona State gets out really early so that the flames of hellfire don’t consume us all. Of course, that means we start way too early in August.”–#17
University of Arizona doesn’t get out until this Friday. :-( And I have 5 exams this week, one every day, finishing with thermodynamics, which will probably culminate its semester of sadistic mental torture by eating my soul on the final. Luckily I am one step ahead of it and made sure to sell my soul last week.
I don’t know why ASU gets out 2 weeks ahead of UA though, that’s not fair…
Free? I don’t think so. At best you’re reasonably priced.
Oh! Wonderful! This is related. :D
I just got my marks for first year and came out of it with an A+ in the year-long bio course, which was evaluated on just two exams and a hand-full of labs. And so I feel just a bit of a need to gloat and celebrate. :D I can hardly wait for the 2nd year Bio courses. :D
Ahh, final exams. I have just returned from the exam hall…. because I found out I arrived 5 and a half fucking hours too early! I will check my timetable next time. Exam in 4 hours.
Hooray! PZ is free!! Free to come see us in Seattle. ;-)
Congrats, PZ!
“Second final exam”.
Anyone else (possibly those a while out of academia) having a momentary chuckle about the seeming oxymorons the English language throws up?
Anyone? Anyone?
Nope – just me then… i’ll get my coat.
# 26, another University of Arizona grad here. (BS in Aerospace Engineering, ’96)
Does Perkins still teach there? Currently stuck in Dumbfuckistan, aka Kansas, but I got here via a year in Germany, which was a blast. Hoping to get back to the desert warmth in a couple years!
/derail.
Cheers.