I look at this and feel so conflicted.
Ick, it’s a nativity scene. But it’s got cute squid in it! It’s so christian! With squid! Nativity! But squid!
It’s like it was designed to drive me insane.
Somebody is out to get me
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
On the contrary, PZ. This just makes the whole story more interesting. As long as we’re fabricating stories and making shit up, why not go all out and include squid?
How bizarre. They will take “a few weeks to make” and sells for $75, but looks like someone could make the whole set in a day. With lots of breaks to check Pharyngula, of course.
Designed? Nah, it evolved by RM+NS.
wow….someone’s selling that?
xtians are weirder than I thought
PZ, if it’s any consolation, that display would probably consider at least moderately blasphemous by a substantial percentage of this nation’s Christian population.
Aargh. That should have read . . .”would probably be considered. . .”
Awww! When in doubt… irreverence can’t be a bad thing.
I’m in favor of it. Nativity scenes are really kind of fun if they are viewed as a cultural icon of playing make believe. (We used to have an angel with the banner “Gloria in Excelsis Deo” and I used to think her name was “Gloria” and I made up stories about how she and Jesus were best friends when they were children and once Jesus slipped on some rocks in a river and Gloria helped him walk home. When people weren’t looking I’d put panda bears and cowboys into the nativity scene and I once put a Pogo Pussum figurine on a crucifix facing the laughing baby Jesus. Good fun). Being irreverent by putting in squid is a decent step away from being overly serious.
Ooooh! How would you cruxify a squid? Would you need to more cross beams. And if holy communion was fried calimari rather then stale crackers wouldn’t you want to go to church more often?
Yum, deep fried savior in a light beer batter and served with aoeli. Mmm. What color is squid blood? Not red. Can I substitute Anchor Steam for His blood? Mmmm.
Christian?
Isn’t it the birth of Mithras?
Its got the cutest little bubby Jesus squidlet in the manger. Awwww.
I’m guessing the “star” the Three Wise Squid followed was some kind of bioluminescence — possibly from THIS creature.
Am I trying to over-rationalize the miracle?
San Loss: 2d6 Christian, 4d6 atheist
How pretty! It’s even got PZ playing the part of the leftmost purple Mage.
MMMMMMM….baby Jesus sauteed with garlic….
So, the plans of the Tentacled Masters continue apace.
Soon the Stars will be Right. . .
woozy: Jesus’s friend Gloria is sweet! Are you familiar with every Christian’s favourite cuddly toy, Gladly the cross-eyed bear?
Come on. Nativity scenes are part of our cultural baggage, as much as Christmas trees (pagan Germans) and gifts to the children (Celtic?). My godless mother always sets out a creche with mismatched plaster magi and shepherds, plastic barnyard animals, a comical camel and a dinosaur, a motley menage á manger. Sometimes someone switches the figurines and makes it the adoration of a piglet. And why not? ’tis the season to be merry.
I’m very familar with Gladly, the cross-eyed bear. She parades on Ward’s christian shoulder. Me and Jesus watch her from the sidelines. I stand on the curb and Christ, the royal bastard, leans against the phone.
Actually, I first heard the Gladly, the cross-eyed bear as a story my uncle told me about his great-aunt Susan as a child. Unfortunately, my uncle, curmudgeon heathens that he and my mother were, discovered that when one raises one’s children in ignorance such jokes fall on deaf ears…
Uncle: “So aunt Susan said, ‘I wanted to see Gladly. Where was Glady?’ and so her father said, ‘Gladly? Who’s Gladly?’ and aunt Susan said, ‘I wanted to see Gladly, the cross-eyed bear'” …starts giggling…
woozy: blank stare
Uncle: “Gladly the cross I’d bear…”
woozy: “you said that.”
Uncle: “Gladly the cross I would bear…”
woozy: “is that a bible quote?”
If we succeed in an atheist society, whom would we make fun of?
======
On a totally, un-realated note:
Uncle: “So back when my son was three years old, he, my wife and I were driving around the Olympic Penisula in Washington state…”
Cousin turning red: “No, stop! Don’t tell it…”
Uncle: “And we were driving a long day and had taken a ferry from Beaverton and my son started to ask…”
Cousin: “No, stop!”
Uncle: “‘When are we going to get to Addle’s house?’…”
Cousin: “I mean it, stop!”
Uncle: “‘I want to go to Addle’s house.’ So we asked, ‘Addle? Who’s Addle?'”
Cousin: “This isn’t funny!”
Uncle: “So my son said, ‘I thought you said we were going to see Addle'”
woozy: laughs his head off for half an hour
Cousin: walks off in a snit
Sometimes someone switches the figurines and makes it the adoration of a piglet
I once came back to find my cousin (same one as above) had tipped the cradle over and a sheep was eating the baby jesus and Mary and Joseph were looking on aghast. We could take Jesus out and put him in Mary’s lap. I once had him crawling on the floor and Mary was holding a pig. Once had the whole human contingent approaching the manger only to have the animals have a united snarling front keepting them out.
Good times.
…what’s that in the road, a head?
I saw three squid come swimming in
On xmas day, on xmas day
I saw three squid come swimming in
On xmas day in the morning…
Away, in the coral, no kelp for a bed
The little squid jebus lay down his sweet head…
Said the cuttlefish, to the moray eel: “do you hear what I hear?
A squid, a squid, swimming in the cold, let us bring him silver and gold….”
Oh, holy shit–a squid ate baby Jeeeeebus,
It is the night when the squids rule the earth…
Here’s an idea, we redo the “great” stories of the bible in 30 second increments, reenacted with squids!
(note: idea shamelessly stolen from 30 second bunnies theater)
My mom told me about the constipated cross-eyed bear from “Must Jesus Bear the Cross Alone?”
He was probably much grumpier than Gladly.
I did not know squid had beards.
And the white thing on top is probably supposed to be a little squid angel, but it looks more like Caspar the Friendly Squid Ghost. Cute!
Re woozy@#7
I, too, once made up a story about the angel.
It was a shaggy dog story, and I can’t recall it exactly, but it had to do with “proving” that the sacred birth© took place in Switzerland.
The angel’s name was Ariel. “Arial” is a synonym for “Helvetica”; Helvetia is the latin name for Switzerland.
See: you can prove anything by appealing to the bible and “interpreting” it.
Nothing like a good virgin squid squirt birth to get the creationists salivating.
Not quite. And the difference isn’t just that Arial is supported by Microsoft.
Not quite. And the difference isn’t just that Arial is supported by Microsoft.
Angel names: Gloria, Regina, Harold, and Hark. Regina was stuck up. Harold was grouchy. Hark had frequent indigestion.
Angel food: In Dolcet (a nutty sweet cake saturated with evaperated milk and caramel– poor Hark hadn’t the stomach for it), Jubile (raspberry jello with thompson seedless grapes inside– Hark was the only who liked it but the other angels picked at it politely because it was God’s favorite and they didn’t want to incur his wrath.)
Devil food: In Rancit (minced meat), Rhubela (Scarlet ribbon sauce made of Madiera and cinamon and chocolate and served over In Rancit)
Reindeer names: Hector, Ajax, Comet, and Stupid.
Reindeer games: Close your eyes and guess where I am while I poke you with sharp antlers; Take turns poking each other with sharp antlers until one of us passes out.
Panda Xmas carols (don’t ask): We … are the pandas … We are the pandas …. no time for reindeer ’cause we are the pandas ….
Woozy,
If Freddy Mercury were still alive today, I’m sure he’d .. well, I am NOT sure.. he’d either kiss you or shoot you. My vote is shoot. that was *awful*
I am *SO*jealous!
I also thank you for explaining the cross-eyed bear joke. Growing up in a properly athiestic household, I had absolutely no clue what the HELL everybody was talking about.
I need to talk to my wife (who has been known to make stuffed toys) about making some teddy bears with crossed eyes…
Looking back on my athiestic life, I wonder, sometimes, if maybe I am missing someething. Traditional holidays ( Christmas, Halloween, Easter…) have always been … flat. Somebody just pulled a date out of his methane orifice and said “This is our holiday!”… I know it frustrates my wife and kids when I just can NOT get interested in all the fun and games.
Maybe that’s the true draw of christianity…you don’t have to grow up and face the world.
Y’all better hope you’re betting the right odds. Cuz you’re betting a hell(heck?) of alot on your assumptions! Hang out with some philosophy majors and mull it over a while.
An old thread with a godbot. What a shock. Any philosophical proof for god requires god to be presumed somewhere. You know that. Give me physical evidence any day. Reality beats mental masturbation every time.