My car is worth more than I am!


$5175.00The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle2Online Dating

Do you think I might appreciate in value as I get older?

(via brokenhut)

Comments

  1. CheapAss says

    I’m only worth $4375. What’s your secret, PZ? You got tentacles or something the boffins are going to want to chop up and study (or fry in oil and garlic) when you’re gone?

  2. says

    I don’t know — average everything, no major illnesses, no major surgeries, moderation in drinking, no smoking, and a body that everyone wants to take a knife to?

  3. kmarissa says

    Synthesist, that makes me feel better about my $4240. Oh well, guess I’ll keep my hair long. I think that was the biggest jump in value that I saw.

  4. says

    $3,755?!? And I was going to buy a new pair of pants today. Now, it just seems like a total waste of my time…

  5. says

    $4775. Young, almost athletic, very average, no health problems or medications.
    Probably not interesting to science then, but maybe I’m a good specimen for dissection as an example of the average healthy guy?

  6. bPer says

    I’m apparently worth $3690. Strange, because Prof. Myers’ description of himself matches mine, and we’re the same age. Maybe he isn’t as average as he thinks. Then again, a number of the questions called for qualitative judgments, which may account for the difference. For example, I chose ‘tall’ when asked about my height, but it occurs to me that some people may not consider 6’1″ (185cm) tall anymore.

    So, do we turn this thread into a limbo or a high-jump contest? :)

  7. Peter says

    I got extra points for my hernia – double hernia actually, perhaps I should have made that clear? Still, after all these years only worth $4725! Mother was right, I’ll never amount to anything :*(

  8. says

    $4875. The utter dullness of my lifestyle probably drove down my worth (teetotal, no smoking…).

    Then again, you could at least buy some decent furniture with that, or a lot of books.

  9. astromcnaught says

    three thousand eight hundr cough cough cough cough… and fif cough cough…

  10. says

    You know, I could probably get more money than that auctioning off body parts here. Invest a little in hacksaws, axes, mason jars, and formaldehyde, tell the family to have a little fun once I’m dead, and start mailing off jars with mysterious chunks floating in them around the world.

  11. VJB says

    I took the quiz and realize why PZ scored so high: he is an albino little person with elephantiasis! And so of great interest to the medical community. Wonder why they don’t ask about your net worth in this? People who leave their bodies to science often include some moolah to the med school to lubricate the Voyage to the West. See my comment just above for a clue to the cadaver dating scene.

  12. Silmarillion says

    $5475

    I think most of that is due to the fact I said I had long hair. The little bar went up three dollar signs for that one!

  13. David Marjanović says

    Do you think I might appreciate in value as I get older?

    Sure. The profit margins in international fossil smuggling are said to reach those in the international smuggling of diamonds, cigarettes, weapons, and drugs.

  14. David Marjanović says

    Do you think I might appreciate in value as I get older?

    Sure. The profit margins in international fossil smuggling are said to reach those in the international smuggling of diamonds, cigarettes, weapons, and drugs.

  15. gex says

    Hmmm… My cadaver is worth $5625.00. No hernias or interesting things like that. The only answers I gave that weren’t what I considered the “normal” answer were that I am short and that I am overweight. Unless you count not drinking and not smoking to be abnormal.

  16. says

    Wow, my dead body is worth $5690!

    Now I can go back and brag to my eldest that I’m worth more than any of you!

  17. mikmik says

    $5,000 even. I got about 30 cent tacked on (the bar barely moved) for my age group(I’m 47). I wasn’t sure what to put for the hair as most my frontal and top is bald, but I have about several hundreds of very long hairs, in a pony tail that go below my shoulders, which looked like it netted me about $400 when I chose that answer.
    Really took a shit kicking for having taken Seroquel (anti-psychotic) but the reasons for that will probably amount to more than enough in book deal value than what I lost cadaver value.
    Which reminds of an insult I like to say to fundies and neo-cons: I am all for donating your brain to science, but couldn’t you have waited until you died first?

  18. says

    I’m good for $4715. I note that the quiz never asked if the respondent had any interesting mutations or non-deleterious anomalies. I’d imagine having a tail or horns would add a few bucks to the final tab.

  19. says

    $3955

    And the above comments about dirt, chopped liver, etc. led me to search for values of those:

    Topsoil varies in price from about $30 to just under $60 per cubic yard; delivery costs extra. I think my body volume is somewhere less than half of one cubic yard. Fill, in the form of gravel or sand, is considerably cheaper.

    At the other extreme, chopped liver (chicken) sells for $5 for a 2 ounce can. I leave it to the other Pharyngulites to calculate their own worth were they to be spontaneously transformed into an equal mass of canned, chopped liver.

    Gold currently trades for about $650 (CDN) per troy ounce (20 troy ounces per pound).

    About a year ago I worked out the value of retail Taq polymerase (the enzyme that drives PCR); about 120 times the per-mass value of gold. There must be a useful collection of enzymes and other molecules that can be efficiently extracted from a recently-deceased human corpse (particularly if one is frozen in liquid Nitrogen immediately). This calculator apparently does not take into account the value of my liver, kidney, pancreatic, and circulating enzymes.

  20. Stephen Wells says

    $4275 dollars. Apparently I’m boringly healthy- only my myopia seems to count in my favour (?).

  21. says

    $4425.00. Like others in this range, I have a healthy lifestyle and no obvious strange medical conditions or weird mutations that would pique the interest of the medical community. So my family won’t get much out of my demise. :)

  22. killmenow says

    $10000.15

    I’m a gigantic, body building, color blind, hernia surgeried, elephantiasis suffering, …

  23. says

    $5390
    I’m in PZ’s general demographic (early 50s, non-smoker, light drinker), but maybe a little sicker (umbilical hernia, appendectomized) — what’s the deal with that anyway? You make a good demo to med students of diseases and surgeries? Research surgeons like to see how the repairs hold up, decades later? (Orac — you out there?)
    Also a long ponytail — I guess the hair is worth money to the wig industry or something.

  24. Mike Fox says

    I’m not telling you how much (little) I am worth, but it is still a lot to pay for a slab of inedible flesh! And a pay-out is better than charging my family a disposal fee – I mean burial costs.

  25. Mike says

    Wow! $3925!!!

    Saddly, that is neither worth as much as my car, nor is it even worth as much as the remaining debt on said vehicle.

    On the plus side, it is one more reason that remain secure in the notion that my wife won’t have me whacked for the money….

    Of course, on the question relating to a “work environment filled with noxious substances” I was looking for the entry marked “bureaucracy”, but it was nowhere to be found.

  26. GM says

    $10,537!!!, but I lied about my age, height, diseases, and a few other things too. The giant 72 year old albinos get all the breaks in this world!

  27. astromcnaught says

    cough cough…But i got nice teeth. There’s no score for that. And real knobbly knees… must be worth a fortune, cough cough.

    I think PZ should sell renewable bits of himself on ebay (with a sensible reserve). Real Pharyngula memorabilia. “These fingernails typed that famous post on…”

  28. Ryogam says

    $4040. Too bad elephantiasis isn’t communicable, then, then the riches would be mine!

    So, can I use myself as collateral on a loan?

  29. Lana says

    Wow. I’m 54 and drink daily but scored $4500. And I’m worth more than my car.

  30. synthesist says

    Something nobody has commented on, but has been bugging me …
    why should an on-line dating agency website have a quiz about how much you are worth dead ? some plot to have customers do each other in for the cash ?

  31. says

    $5875 – and someone want to explain why having your appendix out is worth anything at all? But my corneas seem to be in demand.

    And the depreciation rate seems to be far more favorable than that of any car in existence. Pretty good deal, all round.

  32. David Marjanović says

    About a year ago I worked out the value of retail Taq polymerase (the enzyme that drives PCR); about 120 times the per-mass value of gold.

    I know a university lab that somehow got hold of a plasmid with a gene for Taq polymerase. They transformed it into E. coli and made their own Taq polymerase for IIRC a few years.

    BTW, is the gel used in the capillaries for sequencing more expensive?

  33. David Marjanović says

    About a year ago I worked out the value of retail Taq polymerase (the enzyme that drives PCR); about 120 times the per-mass value of gold.

    I know a university lab that somehow got hold of a plasmid with a gene for Taq polymerase. They transformed it into E. coli and made their own Taq polymerase for IIRC a few years.

    BTW, is the gel used in the capillaries for sequencing more expensive?

  34. says

    Wow. $5,625. Maybe it’s because I have bad eyesight?

    Hmm…I think this calculator is too above-board. I want to know how much I’m worth on the black market, damn it!

  35. says

    A blind obese dwarf with every possible bad habit and medical problem is worth $6510.

    A healthy-as-a-horse body builder is only worth $5875.

  36. Cathy in Seattle says

    $5325!!

    so if I ever I say “over my dead body” you’ll know how much you’ll have to cough up.

  37. BlueIndependent says

    Dude, that thing is harsh. I don’t drink, smoke, intake sugary drinks regularly, work in high-risk areas, never have had major disease or surgery, and I’m only worth $4775.

    RECOUNT!

  38. Cathy in Seattle says

    $5825!!

    I took it again – this time telling the truth!

    ( I have an implanted defibbrill…defibbrill…heart dealy)

  39. But I'm worth $7285!! says

    “Congratulations, your dead body is worth $7285!”

    But what good is it when you’re a bald, blind, junk-food eating albino child with elephantitis and all of her appendixes removed?

  40. natural cynic says

    I knew being diabetic was not good for me, but only $75 ????
    D=$4440 ND=$4515. Of all the crappy things diabetes is doing to me, I would think that my body might be a little more interesting.

  41. Chakolate says

    Your car is worth more than you are? Hm. I’m worth $5765, and I’m worth ten times as much as my car.

    Why isn’t that a good thing?

  42. pie.rat says

    $5255 – I counted hip reconstruction as a major surgery, so that may have inflated my value a little.. Still, I’m worth about 1/4 of my university education. Terrible.

  43. Desert Donkey says

    … you must have upgraded your car lately. I dont think that Geo would bring $5k.