Bah! It can’t be Doctor Who! Never mind the special effects, which were for the most part produced by a couple of old biddies in the wardrobe department using some op-shop offcuts and a latex rubber mould-maker’s kit. No, the real tip-off is that the characters being crucified are wearing the wrong sort of clothes for the period. The BBC prided itself on its period costuming, meaning that Doctor Who And The Roundheads or Doctor Who Meets Samual Pepys would have impeccably-researched clothing and hair on all the human characters… combined with alien props that looked like Jim Henson’s dreams of disco.
The new series is much better, of course. Now all the effects are done by CGI, but you can barely see them behind all the characters kissing.
Kseniyasays
The photo appears to need a caption such as this:
“Every time you masturbate, God kills two obscure criminals and a Messiah. And a kitten.”
Janinesays
It would appear to be the offspring between the bible and chariots of the gods. In other words, two improbable books producing an unlikely photo.
Ichthyicsays
hmm.
another thought struck me; it reminds me of some of the “vision” sequences in a bit of classic horror:
I don’t think it’s anything from Lair of the White Worm. I’ve studied that film very carefully. (Me likey Amanda Donohoe :) )
Ichthyicsays
I don’t think it’s anything from Lair of the White Worm. I’ve studied that film very carefully. (Me likey Amanda Donohoe :) )
yeah, I think you’re right; it was just the crucification thing that got me thinking about some of the sequences in that flick probably.
In fact, it’s been so long since i last saw it, I decided to go and grab a torrent of it.
I remember it as being a real classic. perfect bit of camp.
John Wilkinssays
What, you didn’t know the Romans recruited cephalopods in the Legions?
MartinCsays
What have the cephalopods ever done for us ?
jpfsays
On a similar note, something I just stumbled upon… FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD! A 1965 Toho film that’s a bizarre mix of Frankenstein and Godzilla (well, Baragon, whoever he is) action. Relevant bit: “The international cut also ends with the semi-legendary sequence of Frankenstein fighting a giant octopus (on land!) after defeating Baragon”
Zarquonsays
It’s from PZ Myers: A Biography
jpfsays
another thought struck me; it reminds me of some of the “vision” sequences in a bit of classic horror: “Lair of the White Worm”
I haven’t seen that, but now that you’ve said that the image reminds me of scenes from the Simpsons, specifically the “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos!” Halloween one and some other episode I can’t recall which had a flash-forward to a future where humans were being whipped by monsters.
Perhaps whatever movie this image was from was an inspiration for the Simpsons writers.
Well I couldn’t find the mystery film, but I did come across another gem:
Calamari Wrestler
The Japanese pro-wrestling championship match is suddenly interrupted by a large Squid whose unrivalled wrestling skills make him an overnight wrestling sensation — Squid Wrestler! http://www.sarudama.com/japanese_movies/calamari_wrestl.shtml
SEFsays
impeccably-researched clothing and hair
Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.
Anyhow, it’s not Doctor Who. Not only haven’t I seen that scene but it’s not really the sort of scene Doctor Who would have. It’s more the sort of crass scene Star Trek might have had – but I know it’s not that either.
Ruthsays
“Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.”
Not to mention a reel-to-reel tape recorder in the middle of the second world war.
Ichtyic, I I think you may be on to something here… “the Innsmouth lead” may be one to follow. There is definitely something Lovecraftesque afoot in this picture, although I’m not really sure what. Maybe the guy on the right cross.
Knight of L-samasays
Given the long odds of any western produced series using such imagery for fear of religion outcry combined with extensive use of rubber suits makes me inclined towards the Japanese tokusatsu genre.
Unfortunately that’s a massive genre encomapassing both TV series and movies and I couldn’t narrow it down further than that.
jpsays
There is definitely something Lovecraftesque afoot in this picture.
More like Sleestackesque. That’s not Marshall, Will and Holly up on those crosses, is it? My, how their routine crucifixion has gone awry!
Google’s supposedly working on a sort of “reverse photo lookup” where you can upload a photo and they’ll give you websites that use it or something similar. That sort of thing sounds useful in this sort of situation.
Msays
The other reason you can tell it’s not Dr Who is that the sun’s shining. All alien planets on DW are overcast or slightly damp.
“(Alternative caption: “All your savior are belong to us!”)
Oh, that’s beautiful.
I have no clue where that comes from – although nonwestern sources do seem likely – but does anybody remember the christian rock/star trek parody . . . um, thing that aired on the Trinity Broadcasting Network one night back in the mid-90s? That was odd – truly, truly odd.
rpsmssays
Looks almost like some aliens photoshop’d over a scene from Jesus Christ Superstar (the 70’s movie version)
Zarniwhoopsays
Is it a photo from one of Kirk Cameron’s less-successful forays into cinema? I think he’s the one in the squid-skin…
Enough with rubbishing Doctor Who, by the way – the only particularly squiddy thing I can think of from the whole of it (apart from Dalek mutants) was in “The Power of Kroll”…
Matt Plattesays
+1 for Sleestacks.
J-Dogsays
CONFIDENTIAL: TOP SECRET
This is a photo menu from a UFO – recovered in Roswell, NM. It is listed in the “Appetizer” section, called Savory On A Stick, and “feeds two”.
dcbsays
Excellent picture truly bizarre. I’m going to go with Japanese monster genre based on the Power-Ranger pose of the octopoid fellow in the foreground.
I think it is probably from a video game of some sort – a console system most likely, not a PC.
I found that the embedded Thumb ID shows that the image was created in 2003, so the video game could be that old.
The dimensions of the image are 320 x 240, which are standard dimensions for a television based console game. Enlarging the picture shows that all figures (Human and alien) seem to be CGI.
It’s not from Halo or Castle Wolfenstein – so I dunno what it could be.
Kurtsays
Given the claymation-ish look and the chance the alien is talking on a cell phone my initial guess would be something from “Robot Chicken” with the audio probably being something particularly obnoxious.
– Kurt
Toddsays
I know! It’s from “The Passion of the Sigmund and the Sea Monsters”!
Luna_the_catsays
Re: all you sad, sad folk who remembered “Lair of the White Worm” being good anything….
Is this your shorthand way of saying that you have no brain cells left?
…Of course, having said that, I really wouldn’t mind having a village corner store which stocks hand grenades and mongooses.
Darbysays
Although I’d agree that it’s probably from an old game, based upon the image style and quality, the subject matter is much like the old card series that included “Mars Attacks!” If it was a cheesy acrylic painting style, it would look exactly like those types of cards.
lockeansays
Reminds me of Skull Island from the Bananna Splits.
Hank Foxsays
I think it’s from the all-singing, all-dancing Krull, the Musical. This is a scene from the song “Firemares Can Travel A Thousand Leagues,” sung by Ergo the Magnificent and the Widow of the Web.
rebohosays
Me thinks this is a Xenu remembrance from the Ken Burns PBS documentary “The Life and Times of L. Ron Hubbard” (“Ashokan Farewell” begins to play softly in the background)
rebohosays
Maybe it’s Squidbert as Mary Magdalasquid in the classic “The Passion of the SpongeBob”
I don’t recognize it, but I’ll bet that you can find someone who will if you post it over in the forum at http://badmovies.org.
Zbusays
The person who claimed Power Rangers is correct, kinda. This has to be from the myriad Power Rangers type shows that were made in Japan in the ’80s and then recut/re-edited/reduced to crappy American kids fare as ‘Power Rangers’ in the early 1990s. The genre that this comes from is known as ‘Sentai,’ which is basically a Japanese action show genre that features five heroes distinguishable by a color (red, green, etc) that fight with both martial arts and mechas. Said mechas also join up to form a neat robot. Click this for more info:
Actually, I think I recognize someone in the back, so this may very well be Kagaku Sentai Dynaman, the forebearer to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Given the sexual content in Dynaman that was edited out of Power Rangers, the crosses aren’t that out of place.
And if it’s not that, then it must be Space Sheriff Gavan, which is a ‘metal heroes’ show. Still, I’m betting a tentacle that it’s from Dynaman…especially since Dynaman made it big over in the states in the ’80s via Night Flight.
DustPuppyOIsays
Are you sure it’s not from a Fark photoshopping competition?
AbsolutelyNoFaithsays
[blockquote]Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.[/blockquote]
Actually, the latest Scientific American in their 50, 100 & 150 Years Ago feature has a small bit from 1857 that talks about “The miniature toy balloons introduced with such success into Paris during the holiday season last winter [made from ox intenstine membranes] we suggested as pleasing and beautiful toys to delight Young America.” They were filled with hydrogen. So, a 1913 child with a balloon is not out of the question at all.
laserboysays
I think it is a doctored image from the life of brian
solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and shortsays
Whatever it is, it’s a blatant rip-off of ’70s Spanish-language camp classic “Octaman.” I think it might even be the same bodysuit, but the mask is different–the original didn’t have a big, toothy maw.
I’d bet that, like Octaman, this creature’s preferred method of destruction is flailing.
BJNsays
Has a resemblance to “Octaman”, but he apparently worked solo:
So, a 1913 child with a balloon is not out of the question at all.
This was a poor village child in the UK, not a pioneering scientist-inventor or a rich city dweller pre mass-production. It would have been an item of great note not casual scenery dressing.
Anyhow the picture in question is still not Doctor Who or Star Trek or Blake’s Seven or Life of Brian or Clash Of The Titans (or apparently any of the various other suggestions made). It’s interesting that, so far, people don’t seem to have been able to agree on something which it definitively is.
Are there some really bad B-movies out there which no Pharyngula reader at all has seen? Or is this persistent lack of recognition now more likely to mean that it’s a doctored image? NB The critters in the background don’t even look to be of the same species as the foreground one (from the number of appendages).
Ichthyicsays
Is this your shorthand way of saying that you have no brain cells left?
yeah, what of it?
I suppose you think zombie movies not worthy of sacrificing brain cells to either.
Stanton says
Is it from an episode of Dr Who?
Ichthyic says
hmm, I keep wanting to say “Dagon”, but I don’t recall a scene with crucifixions in that one.
Whatever the name is, it definetly looks like worthy material for the endless sci-fi marathon.
Ichthyic says
hey, wasn’t this a scene in Mel Gibson’s “Passion” movie?
;)
Christian Burnham says
No, the special effects are too advanced for Doctor Who.
Stanton says
No, not enough blood and gore.
Eric TF Bat says
Bah! It can’t be Doctor Who! Never mind the special effects, which were for the most part produced by a couple of old biddies in the wardrobe department using some op-shop offcuts and a latex rubber mould-maker’s kit. No, the real tip-off is that the characters being crucified are wearing the wrong sort of clothes for the period. The BBC prided itself on its period costuming, meaning that Doctor Who And The Roundheads or Doctor Who Meets Samual Pepys would have impeccably-researched clothing and hair on all the human characters… combined with alien props that looked like Jim Henson’s dreams of disco.
The new series is much better, of course. Now all the effects are done by CGI, but you can barely see them behind all the characters kissing.
Kseniya says
The photo appears to need a caption such as this:
“Every time you masturbate, God kills two obscure criminals and a Messiah. And a kitten.”
Janine says
It would appear to be the offspring between the bible and chariots of the gods. In other words, two improbable books producing an unlikely photo.
Ichthyic says
hmm.
another thought struck me; it reminds me of some of the “vision” sequences in a bit of classic horror:
“Lair of the White Worm”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095488/
but it’s been a while since I’ve seen that one so I can’t be sure.
Hank Fox says
Transformers: Golgotha.
Bjorn Watland says
Maybe Alien Jesus knows?
http://www.alienjesus.com/who-is-alien-jesus/
craig says
I don’t think it’s anything from Lair of the White Worm. I’ve studied that film very carefully. (Me likey Amanda Donohoe :) )
Ichthyic says
I don’t think it’s anything from Lair of the White Worm. I’ve studied that film very carefully. (Me likey Amanda Donohoe :) )
yeah, I think you’re right; it was just the crucification thing that got me thinking about some of the sequences in that flick probably.
In fact, it’s been so long since i last saw it, I decided to go and grab a torrent of it.
I remember it as being a real classic. perfect bit of camp.
John Wilkins says
What, you didn’t know the Romans recruited cephalopods in the Legions?
MartinC says
What have the cephalopods ever done for us ?
jpf says
On a similar note, something I just stumbled upon… FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD! A 1965 Toho film that’s a bizarre mix of Frankenstein and Godzilla (well, Baragon, whoever he is) action. Relevant bit: “The international cut also ends with the semi-legendary sequence of Frankenstein fighting a giant octopus (on land!) after defeating Baragon”
Zarquon says
It’s from PZ Myers: A Biography
jpf says
I haven’t seen that, but now that you’ve said that the image reminds me of scenes from the Simpsons, specifically the “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos!” Halloween one and some other episode I can’t recall which had a flash-forward to a future where humans were being whipped by monsters.
Perhaps whatever movie this image was from was an inspiration for the Simpsons writers.
Rhampton says
Well I couldn’t find the mystery film, but I did come across another gem:
Calamari Wrestler
The Japanese pro-wrestling championship match is suddenly interrupted by a large Squid whose unrivalled wrestling skills make him an overnight wrestling sensation — Squid Wrestler!
http://www.sarudama.com/japanese_movies/calamari_wrestl.shtml
SEF says
Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.
Anyhow, it’s not Doctor Who. Not only haven’t I seen that scene but it’s not really the sort of scene Doctor Who would have. It’s more the sort of crass scene Star Trek might have had – but I know it’s not that either.
Ruth says
“Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.”
Not to mention a reel-to-reel tape recorder in the middle of the second world war.
forsen says
Ichtyic, I I think you may be on to something here… “the Innsmouth lead” may be one to follow. There is definitely something Lovecraftesque afoot in this picture, although I’m not really sure what. Maybe the guy on the right cross.
Knight of L-sama says
Given the long odds of any western produced series using such imagery for fear of religion outcry combined with extensive use of rubber suits makes me inclined towards the Japanese tokusatsu genre.
Unfortunately that’s a massive genre encomapassing both TV series and movies and I couldn’t narrow it down further than that.
jp says
More like Sleestackesque. That’s not Marshall, Will and Holly up on those crosses, is it? My, how their routine crucifixion has gone awry!
Alex says
A leaked document from The Laundry depicting exactly how they extracted the Geheimschreiber diplomatic codes from Rudolf Hess?
Russ says
My vote is on Power Rangers.
Voice O'Reason says
Kseniya:
Aw! Poor kitten!
(Alternative caption: “All your savior are belong to us!”)
dorkafork says
Turkish Last Temptation of Christ?
Dave says
“Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.”
You’re just assuming it was helium. Hydrogen toy balloons were readily available at that time.
Chris says
Google’s supposedly working on a sort of “reverse photo lookup” where you can upload a photo and they’ll give you websites that use it or something similar. That sort of thing sounds useful in this sort of situation.
M says
The other reason you can tell it’s not Dr Who is that the sun’s shining. All alien planets on DW are overcast or slightly damp.
Lillet says
Is it from Clash Of The Titans?
Or possibly that Star Trek episode with the scary salt-sucking creatures?
Dave Godfrey says
All the alien planets on DW are overcast or slightly damp.
And look like a tarted up version of the ones in Blake’s Seven. (ie not dissimilar from certain quarries in Wales).
Dan S. says
“(Alternative caption: “All your savior are belong to us!”)
Oh, that’s beautiful.
I have no clue where that comes from – although nonwestern sources do seem likely – but does anybody remember the christian rock/star trek parody . . . um, thing that aired on the Trinity Broadcasting Network one night back in the mid-90s? That was odd – truly, truly odd.
rpsms says
Looks almost like some aliens photoshop’d over a scene from Jesus Christ Superstar (the 70’s movie version)
Zarniwhoop says
Is it a photo from one of Kirk Cameron’s less-successful forays into cinema? I think he’s the one in the squid-skin…
Enough with rubbishing Doctor Who, by the way – the only particularly squiddy thing I can think of from the whole of it (apart from Dalek mutants) was in “The Power of Kroll”…
Matt Platte says
+1 for Sleestacks.
J-Dog says
CONFIDENTIAL: TOP SECRET
This is a photo menu from a UFO – recovered in Roswell, NM. It is listed in the “Appetizer” section, called Savory On A Stick, and “feeds two”.
dcb says
Excellent picture truly bizarre. I’m going to go with Japanese monster genre based on the Power-Ranger pose of the octopoid fellow in the foreground.
Calladus says
I think it is probably from a video game of some sort – a console system most likely, not a PC.
I found that the embedded Thumb ID shows that the image was created in 2003, so the video game could be that old.
The dimensions of the image are 320 x 240, which are standard dimensions for a television based console game. Enlarging the picture shows that all figures (Human and alien) seem to be CGI.
It’s not from Halo or Castle Wolfenstein – so I dunno what it could be.
Kurt says
Given the claymation-ish look and the chance the alien is talking on a cell phone my initial guess would be something from “Robot Chicken” with the audio probably being something particularly obnoxious.
– Kurt
Todd says
I know! It’s from “The Passion of the Sigmund and the Sea Monsters”!
Luna_the_cat says
Re: all you sad, sad folk who remembered “Lair of the White Worm” being good anything….
Is this your shorthand way of saying that you have no brain cells left?
…Of course, having said that, I really wouldn’t mind having a village corner store which stocks hand grenades and mongooses.
Darby says
Although I’d agree that it’s probably from an old game, based upon the image style and quality, the subject matter is much like the old card series that included “Mars Attacks!” If it was a cheesy acrylic painting style, it would look exactly like those types of cards.
lockean says
Reminds me of Skull Island from the Bananna Splits.
Hank Fox says
I think it’s from the all-singing, all-dancing Krull, the Musical. This is a scene from the song “Firemares Can Travel A Thousand Leagues,” sung by Ergo the Magnificent and the Widow of the Web.
reboho says
Me thinks this is a Xenu remembrance from the Ken Burns PBS documentary “The Life and Times of L. Ron Hubbard” (“Ashokan Farewell” begins to play softly in the background)
reboho says
Maybe it’s Squidbert as Mary Magdalasquid in the classic “The Passion of the SpongeBob”
Runolfr says
I don’t recognize it, but I’ll bet that you can find someone who will if you post it over in the forum at http://badmovies.org.
Zbu says
The person who claimed Power Rangers is correct, kinda. This has to be from the myriad Power Rangers type shows that were made in Japan in the ’80s and then recut/re-edited/reduced to crappy American kids fare as ‘Power Rangers’ in the early 1990s. The genre that this comes from is known as ‘Sentai,’ which is basically a Japanese action show genre that features five heroes distinguishable by a color (red, green, etc) that fight with both martial arts and mechas. Said mechas also join up to form a neat robot. Click this for more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Sentai
Zbu says
Actually, I think I recognize someone in the back, so this may very well be Kagaku Sentai Dynaman, the forebearer to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Given the sexual content in Dynaman that was edited out of Power Rangers, the crosses aren’t that out of place.
And if it’s not that, then it must be Space Sheriff Gavan, which is a ‘metal heroes’ show. Still, I’m betting a tentacle that it’s from Dynaman…especially since Dynaman made it big over in the states in the ’80s via Night Flight.
DustPuppyOI says
Are you sure it’s not from a Fark photoshopping competition?
AbsolutelyNoFaith says
[blockquote]Not these days. They just put a helium-filled toy balloon in the hands of a 1913 child.[/blockquote]
Actually, the latest Scientific American in their 50, 100 & 150 Years Ago feature has a small bit from 1857 that talks about “The miniature toy balloons introduced with such success into Paris during the holiday season last winter [made from ox intenstine membranes] we suggested as pleasing and beautiful toys to delight Young America.” They were filled with hydrogen. So, a 1913 child with a balloon is not out of the question at all.
laserboy says
I think it is a doctored image from the life of brian
solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short says
Whatever it is, it’s a blatant rip-off of ’70s Spanish-language camp classic “Octaman.” I think it might even be the same bodysuit, but the mask is different–the original didn’t have a big, toothy maw.
I’d bet that, like Octaman, this creature’s preferred method of destruction is flailing.
BJN says
Has a resemblance to “Octaman”, but he apparently worked solo:
http://www.stomptokyo.com/badmoviereport/reviews/O/octaman.html
http://lordcarry3.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/octaman1s.jpg
SEF says
This was a poor village child in the UK, not a pioneering scientist-inventor or a rich city dweller pre mass-production. It would have been an item of great note not casual scenery dressing.
Anyhow the picture in question is still not Doctor Who or Star Trek or Blake’s Seven or Life of Brian or Clash Of The Titans (or apparently any of the various other suggestions made). It’s interesting that, so far, people don’t seem to have been able to agree on something which it definitively is.
Are there some really bad B-movies out there which no Pharyngula reader at all has seen? Or is this persistent lack of recognition now more likely to mean that it’s a doctored image? NB The critters in the background don’t even look to be of the same species as the foreground one (from the number of appendages).
Ichthyic says
Is this your shorthand way of saying that you have no brain cells left?
yeah, what of it?
I suppose you think zombie movies not worthy of sacrificing brain cells to either.
;)
Dave Munger says
Has to be Japanese or Turkish.
j2dk says
Celebrity Deathmatch: Cthulhu v Christ.
I Think we all know whose gonna win that particular smackdown.
ia! ia! Cthulhu fhtagn