Music for evilutionists

We have some musical talent among our readers. I was sent lyrics and a link to …

BRAINY PRIMATE BLUES words and music by Bruce Woollatt

Sometimes I wonder why
we ever left Olduvai.
It’s a mystery to me
why we didn’t stay in the trees.
Well a million years ago we should have thought the whole thing through
’cause a million years have gone and we’ve got those Brainy Primate Blues.

Listen to Brainy Primate Blues here.


  1. says

    Hi PZ,

    I sent you an e-mail last night about some more music for evolutionists, but I imagine you get a ton of mail, so I thought I’d repost it here.
    I somehow expected to see you make some mention of the song I’m about to tip you off to already, but then I realized that very few people have actually heard of MC Frontalot, the nerdcore rapper, and you probably haven’t seen this song from his new album, Secrets from the Future. Frontalot raps about things like Star Wars and Goth Girls and old text adventure games and all kinds of funny, geeky stuff. He’s got a whole song on his first album about Nigerian e-mail scams even. But the song that I think you’ll really appreciate is called Origin of Species. In it he takes on the role of a fundie preacher type and points out all the idiocy and hypocrisy of your typical creationist loon, including busting on Dawkins.

    For example:

    This is still the curse of Copernicus that we suffer.
    Secular thought ought not to overflow its buffer
    and run roughshod through the minds of you, the population.
    Heretics such as Dawkins and Sagan overstep their station
    to say that what we see and what we believe should be confluent.

    and my other favorite but mentioning the Dover case and the Discovery institute:

    So I lay down my scheme: we’ll make it seem as though creation
    isn’t anything we’d like to interject to education.
    We’ll wrangle up the language: science, data, theorem,
    the irreducible complexity of the ears we use to hear ’em
    gnashing teeth and wailing from Kansas to PA.
    Yes, my flock, I talk of futures not imminent but underway.
    Already established an Institute for Discovery.

    Here’s a link to all the lyrics:

    I’m not the kind of guy who gives away music, and I can’t find a link to the actual song, but it’s quite good and very funny. The whole album’s good.


  2. andyo says

    This is one of my favorite songs, it’s like Javier Krahe pulled it out of my life. (Krahe is a Spanish musical poet – “singer” is so disrespectable nowadays).

    It’s a long time since I don’t care a thing
    that the last pull of my path
    falls far from Rome
    It’s a long time since I don’t play the riddle
    so proparoxytonic of a father and a son
    and a white dove

    And what’s certain is that I don’t despair
    since the day the famous log
    was eaten away by rot
    But if they ask me and I say it
    apart from one or another intimate friend
    everyone thinks I’m joking

    And as with that it shouldn’t be joked
    they expect God to strike me with the torch
    that burned Sodom
    or, at least for me to say, comforting
    that I’ve become Mohammedan or protestant
    we speak different languages

    So that’s just what I was missing!
    that I had to cling on to the robes
    of the prophet Muhammed…
    Neither on the guts of Luther nor of Buddha
    I’d rather walk with a doubt
    than with a bad axiom

    Because I doubt that at the end of this matter
    the thing doesn’t end with a period
    but with a semi-colon
    and I don’t expect a heaven or a hell
    the most, I trust I will be something eternal
    thanks to the chromosome

    Calm, I can live my story
    knowing that through the doors of glory
    my nose doesn’t peek
    Death doesn’t fill me with sadness
    the flowers that will grow out of my head
    will give out some of aroma

    Just a couple of pointers. (The original Spanish language song is linked above and here.)

    In Spanish this song rhymes beautifully, but even in English it preserves some poetic irony.

    In Spanish, due to our grammar requirements, the word for “proparoxytone” is quite common.

  3. andyo says

    It seems the blockquote thing screws some spaces, the first paragraph should be like this.

    It’s a long time since I don’t care a thing
    that the last pull of my path
    falls far from Rome
    It’s a long time since I don’t play the riddle
    so proparoxytonic of a father and a son
    and a white dove

  4. KevPod says

    Well, while we’re at it, here’s Frank Zappa:

    The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing

    Some take the bible
    For what it’s worth
    When it says that the meek
    Shall inherit the Earth
    Well, I heard that some sheik
    Has bought New Jersey last week
    ‘N you suckers ain’t gettin’ nothin’

    Is Hare Rama really wrong
    If you wander around
    With a napkin on?
    With a bell on a stick
    An’ your hair is all gone…
    (The geek shall inherit nothin’)

    You say yer life’s a bum deal
    ‘N yer up against the wall…
    Well, people, you ain’t even got no
    Deal at all
    ‘Cause what they do
    In Washington
    They just takes care
    An’ NUMBER ONE ain’t YOU
    You ain’t even NUMBER TWO

    Those Jesus Freaks
    Well, they’re friendly but
    The shit they believe
    Has got their minds all shut
    An’ they don’t even care
    When the church takes a cut
    Ain’t it bleak when you got so much nothin’
    (So whaddya do?)

    Eat that pork
    Eat that ham
    Laugh till ya choke
    On Billy Graham
    Moses, Aaron ‘n Abraham…
    They’re all a waste of time
    ‘N it’s yer ass that’s on the line

    Do what you wanna
    Do what you will
    Just don’t mess up
    Your neighbor’s thrill
    ‘N when you pay the bill
    Kindly leave a little tip
    And help the next poor sucker
    On his one way trip. . .

    (Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)

  5. The Dude says

    I am going to have to go with “We Are Monkeys” by Travis…

    People think they’re funny when they haven’t the wit
    Others think they’re gorgeous but inside they feel shit
    Many think they’re brainy but they haven’t a clue
    And I think I’m clever cos I’m singing this to you

    We are wrong, we are wrong
    We are all so, so wrong
    We are monkeys
    We are false, we’re untrue
    We should be in the zoo with our uncles
    And if you don’t believe
    Go and climb up a tree and you’ll love it
    You’re a fool to believe anymore
    So believe you’re a monkey

    All the clever monkeys telling us what to do
    Telling us to stay in line and join the monkey queue
    Thinking that they’re special cos they went to private zoo
    One day soon they’re gonna end up in a monkey stew

    They are wrong, they are wrong
    They are all so, so wrong
    They are monkeys
    They are false, they’re untrue
    They should be in the zoo with their uncles
    And if you don’t believe
    Go and climb up a tree and you’ll love it
    You’re a fool to believe anymore
    So believe you’re a monkey

    Honorable Mention: “Minority” by Green Day for this…
    “I pledge allegiance to the underworld
    One nation under dog
    There of which I stand alone
    A face in the crowd
    Unsung, against the mold
    Without a doubt
    Singled out
    The only way I know”

    And runner up: “Armageddon Days Are Here” by The The…
    “If the real jesus christ were to stand up today
    He’d be gunned down by the c.i.a.
    Oh, the lights that now burn brightest behind stained glass
    Will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart
    But god didn’t build himself that throne
    God doesn’t live in israel or rome
    God belong to the yankee dollar
    God doesn’t plant the bombs for hezbollah
    God doesn’t even go to church
    And god won’t send us down to allah to burn
    No, god will remind us what we already know
    That the human race is about to reap what it’s sown”
    (better with the music)

  6. mothra says

    But anyone can create alternative lyrics:
    (sing to the tune ‘Hark the herald angel sings’

    Batter coated angels’ wings
    served with egg nog, feast of kings.
    Cayanne peppered, buttered mild,
    to hungry lips will bring a smile.

    Joyful all who do partake,
    fewer carbs than angels cake.
    Repast from above the sky,
    buffalo could never fly.

    Please, another platter bring,
    batter coated angels’ wings!

    [Now everyone knows why my career is entomology and not music.]

  7. Kseniya says

    Travis are cool, but you might say XTC beat them to the punch by a wide margin with “The Smartest Monkeys”

  8. KevPod says

    Speaking of XTC…

    Dear God

    Dear god,
    Hope you got the letter,
    And I pray you can make it better down here.
    I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
    But all the people that you made in your image,
    See them starving on their feet,
    cause they dont get enough to eat

    From god,
    I cant believe in you.

    Dear god,
    Sorry to disturb you,
    But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
    We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
    And all the people that you made in your image,
    See them fighting in the street,
    cause they cant make opinions meet,
    About god,
    I cant believe in you.

    Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
    Did you make mankind after we made you?
    And the devil too!

    Dear god,
    Dont know if you noticed,
    But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
    Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
    And all the people that you made in your image,
    Still believing that junk is true.
    Well I know it aint and so do you,
    Dear god,
    I cant believe in,
    I dont believe in,

    I wont believe in heaven and hell.
    No saints, no sinners,
    No devil as well.
    No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
    Youre always letting us humans down.
    The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
    Those lost at sea and never found,
    And its the same the whole world round.
    The hurt I see helps to compound,
    That the father, son and holy ghost,
    Is just somebodys unholy hoax,
    And if youre up there youll perceive,
    That my hearts here upon my sleeve.
    If theres one thing I dont believe in…

    Its you,
    Dear god.

  9. kurage says

    Oh, wow. I was expecting something lyrically witty and melodically forgettable, but that is a darn catchy song.

    And while we’re sharing great atheist/secularist songs, I present . . . the BEATLES!

    Imagine there’s no heaven
    It’s easy if you try
    No hell below us
    Above us only sky . . .

  10. kevPod says

    Yes, that’s an oft-overlooked snip from Imagine (by John Lennon as a solo artist, not the Beatles).

    When the MSM uses Imagine for gloppy-sentimental purposes, they usually excise the inconvenient dismissal of religion bit.

  11. says

    For any Red Stater:

    Oh give me a home,
    where the skinheads can roam,
    with the Nazis and our own KKK,
    where seldom is heard
    and intelligent word,
    and white is right unless you are gay

  12. Richard says

    Shameless repeat post from the ‘New planet discovered’ thread … not for evilutionists, but for general relativists, and a great song to boot. Included on the Night at the Opera album by Queen:

    39 by Brian May

    In the year of ’39 assembled here the Volunteers
    In the days when lands were few
    Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn
    The sweetest sight ever seen.

    And the night followed day
    And the story tellers say
    That the score brave souls inside
    For many a lonely day sailed across the milky seas
    Ne’er looked back, never feared, never cried.

    Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away
    Don’t you hear me calling you
    Write your letters in the sand
    For the day I take your hand
    In the land that our grandchildren knew.

    In the year of ’39 came a ship in from the blue
    The volunteers came home that day
    And they bring good news of a world so newly born
    Though their hearts so heavily weigh
    For the earth is old and grey, to a new home we’ll away
    But my love this cannot be
    For so many years have gone though I’m older but a year
    Your mother’s eyes in your eyes cry to me.

    Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away
    Don’t you hear me calling you
    All the letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand

    For my life
    Still ahead
    Pity Me.

  13. gonzoknife says

    What about a song by an evolutionary paleontologist PhD? None other than Greg Graffin, lead singer of Bad Religion.


    You’re obsesssed and distressed
    Cause you can’t make any sense of the ludicrous nonsense
    and incipient senescence
    that will deem your common sense useless
    this aint no recess!

    I want to believe in you, but my plan keeps falling through
    I know I have to face the harshnes, grin and bear the truth
    And I have to walk this mile in my own shoes
    (and I’m no fool!)

    I’m materialist
    a full-blown realist
    (physical theorist)
    and I guess I’m full of doubt
    so I’m prone to hear you out and refuse
    I’m materialist
    There ain’t no fear in this
    it’s for all to see, so don’t talk of hidden mysteries with me…

    Mind over matter, it really don’t matter
    If the street’s idle chatter turns your heart strings to tatters
    Flatter hopes don’t flatter and soul batter won’t congeal to mend
    a life that is shattered into shards
    Was it in the cards?

    The process of belief is an elixir when you’re weak
    I must confess, at times I indulge it on the sneak
    but generally my outlook’s not so bleak
    (and I’m not meek!)

    I’m materialist
    Call me a humanist
    (physical theorist)
    and I guess I’m full of doubt,
    but I’ll gladly have it out with you
    I’m materialist
    I ain’t no deist
    it’s there for all to see, so don’t of hidden mysteries with me

    Like Rome under Nero, our future’s one big zero
    Recycling the past to meet the immediate needs
    And through it all we ramble forth with perservere and climb
    Our mountains of regret to sow our seeds

    I’m materialist
    I’m materiliast
    I’m materialist
    I’m materialist

  14. beth says

    I love this one by the Toadies. I don’t know if it’s meant to be an evolution song, but that’s how I read it. :)

    “I Come From The Water”

    I come from the water
    I crawled upon the shore
    I left my brothers there
    I got what I came for

    I sucked that hot air in
    And rolled upon the sand
    Emerged beneath the sun
    To be a man.

    I come from the water
    I come from the water
    That weren’t no easy thing
    It’s more than nature
    It’s like my destiny

    I stood upon these legs
    And held my head up high
    Emerged beneath the sun
    To start a new life

    I Come From the water

    Life in the desert
    Just to be together
    The sand forever
    The same forever
    It moves beneath me
    It pulls my body
    My pulse beats hotter
    So far from the water

    I love to see the sun
    In spite of all it’s done
    I pray for shade and rain
    I pray to live again
    I come from the water

  15. The Dude says

    How could I have forgotten Bad Religion? So many of their songs fit the mold but I will go with ‘Sorrow‘ and ‘American Jesus‘…

    I dont need to be a global citizen
    Because Im blessed by nationality
    Im member of a growing populace
    We enforce our popularity
    There are things that
    Seem to pull us under
    And there are things
    That drag us down
    But theres a power
    And a vital presence
    Thats lurking all around
    Weve got the american jesus
    See him on the interstate
    Weve got the american jesus
    He helped build the
    Presidents estate
    I feel sorry
    For the earths population
    cuz so few
    Live in the u.s.a.
    At least the foreigners
    Can copy our morality
    They can visit but they cannot stay
    Only precious few
    Can garner the prosperity
    It makes us walk
    With renewed confidence
    Weve got a place to go when we die
    And the architect resides right here
    Weve got the american jesus
    Overwhelming millions every day
    (exercising his authority)

  16. quork says

    Best-selling Author Will ‘Prove’ God’s Existence

    ABC to Air LIVE Atheist Debate with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort
    MEDIA ADVISORY, April 26 /Christian Newswire/ — After ABC ran a story in January about hundreds of atheists videotaping themselves blaspheming the Holy Spirit, best-selling author Ray Comfort contacted the network and offered to prove God’s existence, absolutely, scientifically, without mentioning the Bible or faith. He and Kirk Cameron (co-hosts of an award-winning Christian TV program) challenged the two originators of the “Blasphemy Challenge” to a debate on the existence of God. According to Comfort, he and Cameron (an ex-atheist) are qualified to debate on the subject. Comfort had not only written a book titled “God Doesn’t Believe in Atheists”, but had spoken at Yale on the subject of atheism, and been flown by American Atheists, Inc., to their 2001 annual convention to be a platform speaker.
    ABC loved the idea, and will host a debate in New York City on May 5, 2007. Moderated by Martin Bashir, the debate will be streamed LIVE on their website and will also be filmed for “Nightline.”
    Cameron (“Growing Pains” sitcom and Left Behind movies) will speak on what he believes is a major catalyst for atheism: Darwinian evolution. The popular actor stated, “Evolution is unscientific. In reality, it is a blind faith that’s preached with religious zeal as the gospel truth. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was once a naïve believer in the theory. The issue of intelligent design is extremely relevant at the moment. Atheism has become very popular in universities–where it’s taught that we evolved from animals and that there are no moral absolutes. So we shouldn’t be surprised when there are school shootings. Cameron will also reveal what it was that convinced him that God did exist.

    These are the folks behind the devestating banana and peanut butter videos, so you know they can deliver the intellectual goods.

  17. andyo says

    I am fascinated by atheism made into poetry. The best poets and songwriters I know (though in Spanish) are atheists or highly critical of religion. Some loose verses (sorry, I don’t listen to music in English, just some Beatles and Zeppelin):

    Joaquín Sabina (Spanish):

    “Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando” (may the end of the world catch you dancing).

    “[…]When the cynics got to praying
    he put Satan a candle
    he learned everything that has to be forgotten
    and ran out of school

    And because of too much calling it bread, to bread
    and to wine, wine
    the “good people” thought bad
    and said by the sidewalk of the casino
    that so and so
    but it was all the same for him

    Because he yelled when one had to be quiet
    everybody called him “party wrecker”
    he slept all that was to dream
    without forgiving a nap[…]”


    Silvio Rodríguez (Cuban)

    “[…]On the day of Armageddon (el día del armagedón)
    I don’t want to be behind the door (no quiero estar tras la puerta)
    But dreaming, well alert (sino soñando, bien alerta)
    where I’d be safe from forgiveness (donde esté a salvo de perdón)[…]”

    (The Stubborn one)

    “To not make my icon into pieces
    to save myself among unique ones and odd ones
    to yield a place for me on their Parnassus
    to give me a little corner at their altars

    They come to invite me to repent
    they come to invite me not to lose
    they come to invite me to undefine myself
    they come to invite me to so much shit

    I don’t know what destiny is
    by walking, I was what I was
    over there be God, who may be divine
    I die as I lived

    I want to keep on playing what’s lost
    I want to be left-handed more than right
    I want to make a congress out of the united
    I want to pray deeply an “Our Son”

    They’ll say that madness is out of fashion
    they’ll say that people are bad and don’t deserve
    though I’ll sill be dreaming up mischiefs
    (maybe to multiply bread and fishes)

    They say that they’ll drag me over rocks
    when the revolution falls down
    that they’ll crush my hands and my mouth
    that they’ll tear out my eyes and my “clapper”

    Should it be that stubbornness was born with me
    The stubbornness of what, today, makes stubborn:
    the stubbornness of assuming the enemy
    the stubbornness of living without a price”

    This song has strong anti-religious and political overtones. Those who know Silvio know he’s very controversial among Cubans. I personally don’t think he lives up to the idealistic tone of his songs, but he’s a great poet.

    Sorry for the long posts, this stuff just fascinates me. I can’t share this stuff with anyone where I live (cause either they don’t speak Spanish, or they are only interested in Ricky Martin and Shakira).

  18. Oh.My.God.Please.Make.It.Stop. says

    Atheism has become very popular in universities–where it’s taught that we evolved from animals and that there are no moral absolutes. So we shouldn’t be surprised when there are school shootings.

    OFGS. I swear I get two degrees dumber every time I read something like that.

  19. says

    It isn’t about evolution, and is more fitting to “Bad Astronomy”, but my favorite “nerd song” is “The Sun Is a Mass of Incandescent Gas” by They Might Be Giants.

  20. David Marjanović says

    It’s more than nature
    It’s like my destiny

    It’s not an evolution song.

  21. David Marjanović says

    It’s more than nature
    It’s like my destiny

    It’s not an evolution song.