Arrrrr. Let us begin a rude day with a rude picture.
![i-3923454d942611f0e14274707bb156d6-blackbeard_tampons.jpg](http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/wp-content/blogs.dir/470/files/2012/04/i-3923454d942611f0e14274707bb156d6-blackbeard_tampons.jpg)
I do protest, though, that Cap’n Blackbeard looked nothin’ like that (he had two hands and a snaky tangle of a beard), and there is a great missed opportunity here. Blackbeard knotted lit matchcords in his hair and beard so they’d glow and hiss and smoke in battle—why not render the brute with the product tied into his flowin’ locks?
(Alas, Pharyngula does not yet have a pirate mode restored, so don’t be expectin’ an excess of piratical nonsense today.)
(Some of you will be greatly relieved.)
Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking. According to the documentary shown on the BBC recently, anyway. I wonder if they timed the showing of it specifically for Talk Like A Pirate day? If you haven’t seen it yet, and you’re waiting with bated breath for it to be shown over there… it’s OK, but some of the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Lots of fake Cornish/Bristol/vaguely rustic accents.
Man, I missed it! I can’t keep my days straight for this kind of thing, especially being 13 hours ahead of the Midwest. I wonder if my students in the Japanese middle school I work in would be interested in that video you had below. I smell a supplemental lesson coming up!
I got yer missed opportunity, ya scurvy dog. There’s plenty o’female pirates churning the waters, as would require a staunch fer the bloody tide.
Here’s my Tough Tampon advert.
Sorry, I pooched that link above. Even a ‘preview’ function cannot prevent my evil screwups! Mwa-ha-ha-haaaa.
Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking.
Yes, and his bodyless head saw the light and was born again, just like Steve Irwin did. But you won’t find that in the history books, will you???
ARRRRR! Even the Weather Channel be talkin like Pirates this day!
That ad, uspecially with the hook, is not suitable for children. In fact it should be
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Arrrrr- rated.
In keeping with pirate themes, must we also drink our rum with gunpowder as did Blackbeard?
ARRRRR! Even the Weather Channel be talkin like Pirates this day!
Surely ye be meanin’ the Weath-ARRRR Channel?!
kaethe beat me too it, but here anyway is another site about women pirates.
http://members.tripod.com/cathreese/DefiantWomen/pirates/
Tim Powers’ delightful _On Stranger Tides_ has it that Blackbeard was a servant of the loa Baron Samedi, who is lord of the slow flame, among other things. Hence Blackbeard could not be killed as long as he had the matchcord burning in his hair.
NPR’s “All Things Considered” is also having a Talk Like a Pirate Day segment.
I was *so* going to ignore the pirate stuff today but…
http://www.piratequiz.com/
You do remember that tampons make the best Molotov cocktail fuses, right?
Right?
Um, well, you ARRRRRR a bit young, maybe. Matey.
What’s a pirate’s favorite book?
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Arrrr Bodies, Arrr Selves.
Where do pirates come from?
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Arrrrrrrkansas.
*GRRRROOOOAAAANNNN*
Or, more properly… ARRRRRRRRgh.