Nerd music

The Scienceblogs Nerdoff contest should have this for a new theme song: Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy”.

First in my class here at MIT
Drop skills, I’m a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that’s my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking’s in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people bangin’ for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a whiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin’ so fast they’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run
At Pasqual, well, I’m number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gun
“Happy Days” is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping-pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent in Javascript as well as Klingon

(Here are the complete lyrics—it’ll make you weep, dawg.)


  1. says

    Ouch. But unless I’m missing a critical nerd reference, somebody better tell the guy who transcribed this that’s ‘Pascal’.

    And hey, does pointing this out earn me another 1% on the nerd test? I wanna tie PZ, at least.

  2. Nathan Williams says

    I dunno, I think Weird Al bay have lost a bit of nerd cred when he got LASIK and ditched the glasses.

  3. says

    Along the same lines, there’s Monzy’s song So Much Drama In the Ph.D.:

    My flow is so intense that I will overflow your buffer,
    Corrupt your stack pointer makin’ all your data suffer.
    I’ve got saturated edges but your flow is sparser,
    Real gangstas sip on Yacc; instead you generate a parser.
    While you’re busy poppin’ stacks I’ll pop a cap in your skull,
    While you smoke your crack pipe I’m gonna pipe you to /dev/null.
    I may not have a label but I rap like a star;
    I’m an unsigned long int and you’re an 8-bit char.
    Your mom circulates like a public key,
    Servicing more requests than HTTP.
    She keeps all her ports open like Windows ME,
    Oh, there’s so much drama in the PhD.

    But if your thing is liberal arts rather than science, you might like MC Paul Barman:

    Whoever thought Paul Barman would change the game?
    I started rhyming when the radio was unbearably lame
    Rappaz R. N. Dainja
    “Depression is closely followed
    By delusions of grandeur.” (–Karen Horney)
    I think about all the pube I got
    While reading the Rubaiyat
    And make babies in bunny slippers
    With the JBs rockin’ the Honey Drippers

    (from Cock Mobster)

  4. says

    “I dunno, I think Weird Al bay have lost a bit of nerd cred when he got LASIK and ditched the glasses.”

    What? You’d rather he pretended *not* to be into better living through body modification?

    It’s time we recognized Weird Al for the national treasure he has been all along.

  5. says

    Actually the clear winner in the theme song category has to be MC Hawking’s killer hitz “What we need more of is science”.

    Verse 1
    I’m a disciple of science
    I know the universe is compliance with natural laws,
    but many place reliance on the psuedo-science of quacks and
    morons and fools because,
    their educations deficient,
    they put faith in omniscient,
    make believe beings who control their fate,
    but the Hawk aint with it, dig it,
    their Holy writ aint the least bit legit,
    its a bunch of bullshit.

    They need to read a book that ain’t so damn old old,
    let reason take hold,
    though truth to be told,
    they’re probably already too far gone,
    withdrawn, the conclusion foregone.
    But maybe there is still hope for the young,
    if they reject the dung being slung from the tongues,
    of the ignorant fools who call themselves preachers,
    and listen instead to their science teachers.

    Upon blind faith they place reliance,
    what we need more of is science!

    The mad skillz are just too great to be ignored. Check out the video for the song where MC Hawking defeats the evil Fundamentalist in a turntable duel for the ages.

  6. Boosterz says

    I think I just found the theme song for my department at work. Now I just have to get that on the phones…

  7. Carlie says

    Love it. He’s always been one of my favorites – do I get extra nerd points because my dad was the one who got me hooked on Weird Al? And extra because I tried (although failed) to cut short my honeymoon in order to get back in time to see Weird Al at the local state fair? I got into a car accident this summer while the original of this song was playing, and have cringed every time it came on the radio since then. Glad that I now have an emotional buffer of substituting the new lyrics.
    Have to admit he did lose some attractiveness for me after the Lasik, though.