April 01, 2007. Independence, Missouri, U.S.A,

Jesus Christ has returned to Earth!

The Son of God, the Messiah, the Savior of the World, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Great I Am, has returned to our suffering world as He promised to do quickly over 2,000 years ago.

In God’s stunning surprise move, this greatest event in the history of the modern world occurred just after Midnight on Sunday, April 1st, 2007. The Christ returned to a sacred spot in Independence, Missouri, U.S.A., as correctly predicted by the Mormon leader Joseph Smith. Believers expecting His return to occur on Temple Mount in Jerusalem were shocked, but red heifers were much relieved.

Religious leaders worldwide were taken completely by surprise, even though the sacred writings had said no one knew the date or the hour of the divine reappearance. But every knee was bowed and every tongue confessed that the Lord Jesus had come. Those few, in Independence, Missouri and elsewhere, who denied the obvious, the “Second Coming Deniers,” were classed as persons so caught up in sin that they could not see truth made manifest before them.

The timing, while unpredicted, does fit a pattern.

The Rapture occurred just over seven years ago. For a full report, see: .

It is uncertain just what will happen next. God, being God, is fully capable of changing His mind, and then stating that He did not change His mind, and that we, who are but mortals, did not understand Him the first time. And He is of course right. Whatever He says is right. Maybe we are not all condemned as we were told after The Rapture of 2000 C.E. Maybe we just misunderstood.

Those who have long asked, “What Would Jesus Do” are rapidly finding out.

The Messiah has ordered all churches, of whatever persuasion or denomination, to immediately liquidate their assets, ordering them, as he had the first time around, to “sell all that you have and give to the poor.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, both reorganized and un-reorganized, has begun to comply, as have Protestant and other denominations. The Roman Catholic Church has issued directives that all of its worldwide holdings are to be given to the poor, after satisfying judgments for damages rendered against them for their priests abusing children.

The Pope in Rome has abandoned his golden throne and offered it to the Christ, who simply said, “Sell it, and all that you have, and give to the poor.” Worldwide, gold is being removed from tabernacles, temples, and mosques, and bank accounts are being emptied to provide food and housing for the poor, as the divine directive becomes realized.

Church property worldwide is being liquidated. It appears that all poverty will be abolished virtually overnight.

Ministers preparing to preach Palm Sunday sermons, celebrating the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem on his previous visit, quickly changed their messages to proclaim the good news of his entry into Independence.

Everywhere, the strains of “Handel’s Messiah” are heard in the streets.

All war on Earth has ceased.

American Atheists has disbanded and cancelled their Easter Convention.

Thoughtful people are wondering just how it is possible to know the truth.

But the truth will set us free.

Details on the nightly news, immediately following the latest on the Anna Nicole story.

by Edwin Kagin, Special Reporter, April 1, 2007.

All Rights Reserved. Permission to Reproduce is Granted.


  1. monkeysuncle says

    Oh, boy! Red heifer burgers! The Religious Right’s breeding program is about to pay off! Supersize me!

  2. Anonymous says

    hey what drugs are you on? didn’t Joseph Smith the adulterer tell you that drugs are bad, or did he transgress in that sin too? This is some crazy blog you got here, tell me, are all 500 of your wives in agreement with you on this?

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