This Time, The Apocalypse Is For The Birds

Predictions of apocalypse
Are found in some religions
This week, for something different, it’s
The end of days… of pigeons

In Moscow, birds are dying—
Ah, but that is not the worst—
The pigeons don’t just die; they’ve been
Becoming zombies first!

They fall to earth as if possessed,
Their muscles strangely weak
They’re listless, twisted, twitching,
And they’re foaming at the beak

It’s probably a virus,
Or so the signs portend,
But others see a different sign:
The world’s about to end

So for the birds afflicted
With a tortured torticollis
Consider your predicament
And maybe take some solace:

Rasputin said the world would end
This August twenty-third…
You’ve only missed a little time,
You poor, infected bird

And if it is apocalypse,
And if it is the worst…
We’ll all be dead by Friday, but
The pigeons got there first

The video is in Russian, but the footage is very creepy indeed. Pigeons are falling from the skies in Moscow, twisting their necks around, seizing, foaming at the beak, and dying. It’s probably Newcastle Disease, according to researchers (viral, and contagious to humans), but it also turns out that the Mad Monk, Rasputin, predicted the end of the world… this Friday. So, clearly, it could be that.

Sure, we’ve seen end time predictions before–I think we’ve lived through 3 or 4 since the inception of this blog–but if you can’t believe Rasputin, who can you believe?


  1. rq says

    This Friday??? But that leaves me with no time to prepare!!
    Guess I’ll just be going to work, then.

  2. Pierce R. Butler says

    That last link covers the perishing pigeons piece, but says nothing about the late great Grigori Efimovich.

    What should one wear for the Last Day, anyhow?

  3. Cuttlefish says

    The Rasputin bit I heard on Al Jazeera America, and confirmed the date on a Rasputin site–but the online version of the AJ story doesn’t (or didn’t) have the actual story, just the introduction.

  4. Valhalla says

    Well the good news is that at least the fundamentally demented do not get enough time to sheer their flock to rigorously, before this particular poxylipse’ …there is also little mention or ranting on the theme t’inta’tube wise.

    Although maybe because getting excited about a commie poxylipse’ has stumped them and caught ’em b’twixt ‘n’ b’tween and basically confused the bejabbers out of them, left them not sure whether to cheer or jeer poor bunnies!

    The bad news is the Olympics are going ahead despite this prediction!

  5. Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach says

    Hahaha! The timing on this is a delicious coincidence. I’m reading this Friday afternoon, just moments after agreeing to go see “The World’s End” at the theatre tonight. The movie will be over by 10, was Rasputin clear on the hour, do I get to see the end of the movie?

  6. Cuttlefish says

    Dave, I can find no source with a specific hour! But–it is already tomorrow across all of Russia, so I suspect you are safe.

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