An insult to jellyfish everywhere

This is supposed to be an artificially synthesized jellyfish. They layered some rat heart muscle cells on a sheet of elastic silicone polymer, and then applied a current to the medium, causing it to contract.

And they call that a jellyfish! I ask you, does it have a syncytial nerve net to regulate muscle contractions? It does not. Does it have the ability to digest particles in the water to produce energy? It does not. Can it respond to tactile contact, to dissolved chemicals, to light? It can not. Can it reproduce itself? No, not even close.

I say to you, ladies and gentlemen, that is no jellyfish. It is a rubbery toy.

They also hope to reverse-engineer other marine life forms, says Parker. “We’ve got a whole tank of stuff in there, and an octopus on order.”

No way, guy. No freakin’ way.