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Darwin and I have something in common!

Apparently, Turkey is publishing “A series of books for primary schoolchildren, describing Charles Darwin as a Jew with a big nose who kept the company of monkeys and other historical figures in anti-Semitic terms.” Darwin was Jewish? Well, checking my email rather than my pedigree, I have a long list of people who’ve tried to insult me by calling me a “dirty Jew”, too.

Maybe ol’ Chuck and I can share the honor of being titular Jews. I’ll have to introduce myself when we meet in Sheol..

Comments

  1. imthegenieicandoanything says

    “When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose!”

    And no one likely has more nothing and wants to lose it more than a Islamic creationist, except any other religious bigot creationists, maybe.

    I guess it’s time we start playing nice with the religious, eh Dr. Higgs?

  2. says

    I would’ve liked some more details about the books and who’s publishing them, but that was a funny piece.

    The original writing, scratched out on sheets listing the ship’s leisure activities, reads: “I listened to Lawson’s whole spiel, and he says if you show him a turtle, abracadabra, he’ll tell you its shtetl. I buy it.”

  3. morejello says

    Sweet! now not only can you both be jewish, you can both be baptized into mormonism long after you’re dead!

  4. unclefrogy says

    well not that stupid idea matches their ideas about biology perfectly. Just make up what ever you want the only thing that seems to matter is the name of your imaginary god.

    uncle frogy

  5. evilDoug says

    I’m suspicious it is a diversionary tactic by Turks afraid of involuntary aschnozzia – the recipe clearly calls for “nose of Turk“. His is bigger than mi-ine!

  6. drigeolf says

    Here is the deal: In a region of Turkey, they’ve distributed a biography series to middle school children. To make the series more attractive they’ve decided to add some unknown weird “facts” about important historical figures, to make children understand they don’t have to be perfect to become a “big man”(that’s the word they used, apparently woman can’t be important).

    Here are the passages from the book and my (probably bad) translations:

    Charles Robert Darwin: Küçük Charles’in iki derdi vardır. Birincisi Yahudi’dir ve kendini gizlemek zorundadır. İkincisi çıkık alnından, iri burnundan ve şekilsiz dişlerinden nefret eder. Okuldan ziyade hayvanat bahçesine takılır, maymunlara fıstık atar. Pasifik’te üç beş tane renkli kertenkele görünce nesli kesilmiş canlılarla yaşayanlar arasında münasebet kurmaya çalışır. Tam 20 yıl boyunca tezine uyacak malzemeler araştırır. Evet, şüphe içindedir ve kendini kandırdığının farkındadır…

    Charles Robert Darwin:
    Little Charles had two problems.One, He is Jewish and have to hide it. Two, he hates his protruding forehead, big nose and shapeless teeth. He prefers to hang out at the zoo instead of his school where he throws peanuts at monkeys[I'm not kidding]. After he saw several colored reptiles at Pacific he tried to make a connection between extinct and alive animals. He tries to find material to support his thesis for 20 years. Yes, he is full of doubt and knew he is only fooling himself.

    Albert Einstein: Albert evde muhatap bulamadığından olacak ancak dört yaşında konuşmaya başlar. Okulu tırnağı kadar sevmez. Çekilir köşesine, bol bol hayal kurar. Tabiri caizse fazla uçar, ışık demetlerine filan binmeye kalkar. Albert iletişim özürlüdür. Çorapsız dolanır, ayda bir yıkanır ve sabun yemekten çok hoşlanır. (İşin acı yanı o yıllarda Gestapolar Yahudileri fırınlayıp sabun yapmaktadırlar) Dâhimiz pistir, pasaklıdır.

    Albert Einstein:
    Since Albert couldn’t find anyone in his house[Bad translation, sorry], he started to talk at four years old. He hated school. He always went to his corner and daydreamed. So to speak, he flies a lot[with a connotation of being an eccentric in Turkish] and tries to ride beams of light. He is disabled when it comes to communication. He wanders around in his socks, only bathes once a month and loves to ear soap(Ironically, during those years the Gestapo was making soap out of Jews). Our genius is dirty.

    Thomas Edison: “Yapacak çok iş var ve hayat öyle kısa ki” sözüyle tanınan Edison, akarken küpünü doldurmaya bakar.”

    Thomas Edison:
    Being known as the one who said: “There are a lot to do but life is so short”, Edison tried to be as rich as possible, when he can.

    Sir Isaac Newton: İşte ağaç altında pinekleyip sineklendiği günlerden birinde kafasına bir elma düşer. Newton “peki ay niye düşmüyor” dan hareketle yer çekimi ve merkezkaç kuvvet arasındaki hassas dengeyi yakalar. Bütün bunlar asırlar önce, Kindi, Razi, Biruni, Hazini ve İbn-i Heysem’in eserlerinde detaylarıyla anlatılmıştır.

    Sir Isaac Newton:
    While he was being lazy under a tree, an apple falls on his head. Newton thinks: “Why wouldn’t the Moon fall?” and finds the balance between centrifugal force[not centripetal] and gravity. Although these were all told by Kindi, Razi, Biruni, Hazini and Ibn-i Heysem[Turkish pronunciations of big Arabic scholars] many centuries ago in great detail.

    Charlie Chaplin: Londra ’da doğar. Babası sirklerden sebeplenmeye çalışan çulsuzun tekidir. Anası deseniz ona keza. Bilirsiniz Amerika ’da parayı bulanlar ya karılarını değiştiriler ya da yeni bir araba alırlar. Şarlo ikisini de yapar, güzel arabalar alır ve alımlı kadınlarla takılmaya başlar.

    Charlie Chaplin:
    He was born in London. His father is penniless and tries to make money from Circuses. If you ask me about his mother, the same. You know when you become rich in America, you either change your wife or buy a new car. Charles does them both, he buys beautiful cars and starts to hangs out with pretty woman.[This is actually written in this weird tone]

    Sigmund Freud: Sapıkların babası. Özellikle siyonistler ve Marksistler Freud’a sahip çıkar. Freud teorisi ise, Allahü tealanın kainatın şereflisi olarak yarattığı insanı, bir takım adi içgüdülerin esiri gibi gösteren bir teori.

    Sigmund Freud:
    Father of perverts. He is loved by Zionists and Marxists. His theory is a theory that portrays human beings, which are created by Allah as the most honorable, as being slaves to some lowly desires[instincts actually but I think he means this].

  7. drigeolf says

    Sorry about the mistakes in the translation. English is not my native language.

    Albert Einstein (apparently) eats soap he doesn’t ear(?) it. Just to clarify the Gestapo comment belongs to the authors not myself.

  8. Tyrant al-Kalām says

    I distinctly remember the footnote in the voyage of the beagle –
    Oy gevald, why do those ferkackte fojgel look all differently? Es iz a shandeh far di kinder!

  9. drigeolf says

    @culch

    It is a book that the Ministry distributed to some students for free in a small region, probably as a part of a reading program. This is not a part of the curriculum. In high school I’ve studied the basics of evolution, but from what I’ve heard some teachers didn’t cover it.

    These kinds of people are the equivalent of your “tea party” nutters. Unfortunately a variety of them(right wing, conservative, essentially a Turkish Republican Party) has been ruling my country for more than a decade now. So people who distributed this book can find places in high governmental positions.

    I’ve seen in my lifetime Turkey becoming less secular and more religious(and I’m relatively young). It is unbelievable how fast things can change for a country. Just as a side note this is a country where the second article of its constitution clearly and unambiguously states it is a secular nation.

  10. Erp says

    I wonder if they thought that since Charles Darwin had a lot of Unitarian relatives he must be Jewish (neither group thinks Jesus is God). However the rest makes no sense so they are probably pulling it out of thin air and know nothing about his family’s religious heritage.