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Dec 11 2012

A pointless poll and a real long shot

Senator Jim DeMint is stepping down from his office in South Carolina. This means that Governor Nikki Haley gets to appoint a replacement. I have no confidence at all in Haley, and I think this is an absurdly unlikely long shot, but some people are pushing to have her nominate Herb Silverman, an intelligent, competent guy with a history in South Carolina politics, but also an out atheist.

Right. Nikki Haley will appoint a liberal atheist to replace conservative Jim DeMint. And I might find God paddling a little rowboat in my toilet.

But we can push. The Charleston newspaper has a poll.

Who should Nikki Haley appoint to replace Jim DeMint?.

Stephen Colbert 31 votes (13.08%)
Herself No votes.
U.S. Rep. Trey Gowdy No votes.
Former state attorney general Henry McMaster No votes.
Ricardo Montalban 1 vote (0.42%)
Former first lady Jenny Sanford 2 votes (0.84%)
U.S. Rep. Tim Scott 18 votes (7.59%)
Herb Silverman 185 votes (78.06%)
DHEC director Catherine Templeton No votes.

Hmm. Ricardo Montalban…an intriguing choice, rich and resonant, supple and smooth, like soft Corinthian leather…but he is not and has not been a South Carolinian, and there’s the little matter of being dead for three years (but then, you know that line about “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee…” … there’s at least some hope of posthumous action.)

Colbert gets nominated for everything. Forget it.

I guess I just had to vote for Silverman. Only 185 votes so far? I bet you can jack that up by quite a bit.

32 comments

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  1. 1
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    He

  2. 2
    robro

    And I might find God paddling a little rowboat in my toilet.

    And if you find him there, I suppose you’ll know what to do.…right?

  3. 3
    madscientist

    If god’s rowing around your toilet, don’t forget to flush. Haley strikes me as being well beyond fringe lunatic; I just can’t see her appointing anyone who’s not a certified Christian Right Libertarian. De Mint is pretty awful – hopefully folks don’t get a worse replacement – but with Haley in charge I wouldn’t bet on it.

  4. 4
    chuckvonderahe

    Anyone who knows Herb knows that even where he may have weaknesses in some areas, you will never find a snazzier dresser!

  5. 5
    Crudely Wrott

    Yeah, I know it’s just an innertubes poll but Silverman now has 411 votes.

    *polishes fingernails and admires the resultant shine and sparkle*

  6. 6
    PZ Myers

    Wait, what? After posting this, the number of votes for Silverman went down. Not the percentage, the actual number of votes. Someone is gaming the poll.

  7. 7
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    Something screwed up my comment @ 1. I had typed out a short message and even previewed it. Weird. He was up to 214 when I voted…

  8. 8
    Gvlgeologist, FCD

    Moments ago, after I voted, it was up well over 500.

  9. 9
    Draken

    Doesn’t she have any more family members to choose from?

  10. 10
    se habla espol

    Silverman had 1078, said the results page when I just voted.

  11. 11
    se habla espol

    Now it’s 1003, with 168 for Colbert.

  12. 12
    mikmik

    More hanging chads? LOL, anyways, is it remotely possible that Herb Silverman might be related to Haley?

  13. 13
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Latest figures :

    Who should Nikki Haley appoint to replace Jim DeMint?

    Your vote (Herb Silverman) has been recorded.
    Stephen Colbert
    211 votes (12.38%)
    Herself
    No votes.
    U.S. Rep. Trey Gowdy
    No votes.
    Former state attorney general Henry McMaster
    1 vote (0.06%)
    Ricardo Montalban
    10 votes (0.59%)
    Former first lady Jenny Sanford
    3 votes (0.18%)
    U.S. Rep. Tim Scott
    20 votes (1.17%)
    Herb Silverman
    1,458 votes (85.51%)
    DHEC director Catherine Templeton
    2 votes (0.12%)

    Hope the right person wins.

  14. 14
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    As a native South Carolinian I can say with all certainty there is more chance Haley will appoint Ex Gov. Sanford’s Argentinian mistress than Silverman.

    I am a big Silverman fan but just read any response in the local rags to Silverman and you’ll see how the average Joe Sixpack here reacts to “those uppity atheists”. My money is on Tim Scott. He’s a darling of the Tea Party and well liked (publically) by most of the GOP here as far as I can tell.

  15. 15
    Sastra

    My daughter is currently attending Charleston Law School. Finals are over — let’s hope she and fellow students can find the time to contribute to Herb’s candidacy with a not-totally-meaningless vote. He may have no realistic chance — but if future lawyers can’t stand on principle, who can? They’ve yet to be corrupted by the system.

  16. 16
    TGAP Dad

    And I might find God paddling a little rowboat in my toilet.

    Wait!
    You mean god is the
    Ty-D-Bol man???

  17. 17
    eleutheria

    Just FYI:

    Stephen Colbert is no atheist. He’s a roman catholic who literally teaches (or taught) Sunday school classes (google it if you are skeptical).

    You can say “Well, he’s just teaching the morality of Jesus.” There are plenty of ways to teach morality to children without having to invoke Jesus. If he actually were a bona fide atheist/secularist/humanist, he wouldn’t be doing his outreach by way of a church.

    He ridicules the church and the pope, but there’s a core to him that believes in the church in spite of its obvious, glaring flaws. There are interviews of him averring his faithfulness to the church on this point.

  18. 18
    Rich Woods

    Ricardo Montalban is dead? Fuck. That’s just spoilt my day.

    Excuse me. I need to go watch a Planet of the Apes film.

  19. 19
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Stephen Colbert is no atheist. He’s a roman catholic who literally teaches (or taught) Sunday school classes (google it if you are skeptical).</blockquote?

    teaches, in fact he did a whole thing with Cardinal Dolan

    Yes that Cardinal Dolan

  20. 20
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    fuck you blockquote

  21. 21
    Rey Fox

    The trouble is that this appears to be one of those independent weekly papers, so it’s not as much of a poll crash. Why, they’re even advertising a “progressive dinner” on the front page! *

    * Yes, I know.

  22. 22
    mikmik

    Rich Woods

    Ricardo Montalban is dead? Fuck. That’s just spoilt my day.

    Excuse me. I need to go watch a Planet of the Apes film.

    Hervé Villechaize is passed, as well. I liked Beneath the Planet of the Apes best, I think.

    Faaaahhhhhkkkkkk! Roddy MacDowell is passed :( Wha? Charlton Heston too?
    How old am I!?

  23. 23
    carbonbasedlifeform

    but then, you know that line about “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee…” … there’s at least some hope of posthumous action

    In the movie, Khan is quoting from Moby-Dick.

  24. 24
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    The trouble is that this appears to be one of those independent weekly papers, so it’s not as much of a poll crash. Why, they’re even advertising a “progressive dinner” on the front page! *

    * Yes, I know.

    Yep it’s our local weekly free rag. Good content but highly liberal leaning despite housing one of Ron Paul’s co-authors and all around smug asshole.

    Unfortunately the daily paper, the Post and Courier, is about a right leaning as you can get. Reading the editoral section and letters to the editorial is like a who’s who of wingnutter conspiracy theorists.

  25. 25
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    the “but” not being a bad thing.

  26. 26
    texasaggie

    You’ll note that in the absence of people from this blog, Stephen Colbert is way ahead of everyone else. To downgrade him is similar to downgrading Al Franken, one of the better senators in the business. Stephen really does have a good idea of what’s going on. He is exposed to it on a daily basis, and as he says, although he’s contractually obligated to not take another full time job, being a senator would fit that definition. But the scuttlebutt says that Jenny Sanford has the thing all but wrapped up. It seems that she and Haley are good buds.

  27. 27
    Matt Penfold

    Something I don’t understand is why there is not an election to decide who replaced DeMint,

  28. 28
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Stephen really does have a good idea of what’s going on. He is exposed to it on a daily basis, and as he says, although he’s contractually obligated to not take another full time job, being a senator would fit that definition.

    Zero chance that is going to happen.

    But the scuttlebutt says that Jenny Sanford has the thing all but wrapped up. It seems that she and Haley are good buds.

    They are but Tim Scott is who I’m hearing everywhere plus he just got an endorsement by the outgoing DeMint.

  29. 29
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Something I don’t understand is why there is not an election to decide who replaced DeMint,

    IIRC

    There is no constitutional path for replacing Senators who leave mid term, they are typically replaced by the State governor though some states require a special election.

    Congressmen have to be replaced by an election in the vacant district.

  30. 30
    eddarrell

    I have a photograph of the machine, not usually a political machine, but it will do in this pinch, which I believe Gov. Haley will use to select South Carolina’s replacement of Jim DeMint in the Senate. Not sure how to code a photograph here, so indulge me with a link to my blog: http://timpanogos.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/selecting-a-replacement-for-south-carolinas-sen-jim-demint/

  31. 31
    zb24601

    Hmm. Ricardo Montalban…an intriguing choice, rich and resonant, supple and smooth, like soft Corinthian leather…but he is not and has not been a South Carolinian, and there’s the little matter of being dead for three years (but then, you know that line about “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee…” … there’s at least some hope of posthumous action.)

    Even dead he could be more useful than a republican senator.

  32. 32
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Tim Scott it is

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