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Jun 24 2012

The Blaze has a poll to show they don’t like atheists – surprise!

There has been a shift in the American public: now over half would be willing to vote for an atheist for president. We’re still at the bottom of their preferences, but it’s nice to know that we have edged up into a majority not hating us reflexively.

But not at the Blaze! Glenn Beck’s site is still full of people who hate atheists, and I feel bad for them. Maybe we should go balance out their poll.

Would you vote for an atheist presidential candidate?

Absolutely. 19.72%

No way. 74.35%

I’m in the middle on this one. 5.93%

73 comments

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  1. 1
    jeffran

    The comment section is awesome. From Disenlightened – “Atheists are the homosexuals of the religious world.”

    Precious.

  2. 2
    montanto

    We’re up to the 30s now… weird I thought Homosexuals were the homosexuals of the religious world.

  3. 3
    pipenta

    The comments are indeed interesting. There seems to be an overlap between Glenn Beck’s fans and Penn Jillette’s fans, which doesn’t entirely surprise me.

  4. 4
    larrylyons

    just over an hour after PZ posts this, the poll is split at 48% for either side.

  5. 5
    lilandra

    We’re at 49 percent now!

  6. 6
    Banned Atheist

    Love it! Just joined FTB just to tell you I echoed this post on DemocraticUnderground … and to update: “Absolutely” vote for an atheist just beat 50%. Hee hee!

  7. 7
    Matt Penfold

    Here in the UK, two out of the three main party leaders are openly atheists, and the other one, David Cameron, would not appear to be conventionally religious.

  8. 8
    leonardspencer

    Wait, Glenn Beck’s magazine is called Blaze? Isn’t there a gay men’s magazine called that?
    I imagine someone getting an awful shock when they make an innocent google serch and find ranting about secular humanist oligarhs.

  9. 9
    scorpy1

    All too easy.

    It warms my heart knowing that the Blaze couldn’t attract a significant following to defend its bigoted musings.

  10. 10
    PZ Myers

    Clearly, I’m bigger than Glenn Beck. Where is my TV show?

  11. 11
    MikeMa

    Almost completely reversed from the count at PZ post time. It is now 11:20am eastern time. That is 1 hour to dampen the blaze.

  12. 12
    duvelthehobbit666

    I always hate these polls. They always leave out the “Who the fuck cares” option. I don’t care what a candidate’s religious position is as long as his/her political positions are good enough for me to vote for him/her

  13. 13
    Glen Davidson

    I’d vote for a good Bible-believing atheist, at least.

    Glen Davidson

  14. 14
    Larry

    Poll now at 66% absolutely.

    Prepare for poll to be pulled in 3.. 2.. 1..

  15. 15
    lordshipmayhem

    The ease and speed with which this poll has been pharyngulated tells me how many Glenn Beck followers read his own on-line magazine – not too bloody many at all.

  16. 16
    Ernst Hot

    From the comments:

    Anyone who canNOT admit the existence of a CREATOR is just not smart enough to run this Country. They CAN NEVER prove that we were NOT created by a CREATOR, because we have incredible information proving there is.

    Yes, your information is literally incredible, but it’s rare to see it openly admitted… Clearly this person is in a position to determine who is smart enough to run the USA.

  17. 17
    jaybee

    I can’t vote on this one … I refuse to inflate Blaze’s traffic figures.

  18. 18
    Marc Abian

    I don’t care what a candidate’s religious position is as long as his/her political positions are good enough for me to vote for him/her

    Do you think the absolutely answer doesn’t convey that?

  19. 19
    Geral

    From the polling website,
    “Atheists may certainly continue to make gains when it comes to acceptance and support, but it may come, as we’ve seen thus far, at a slower rate. After all, people are cautious about non-believers and their worldview, as evidenced by a 2011 study that found that atheists are trusted at around the same level as rapists (a surprising revelation, to say the least.”

    Oh boy..

    And why didn’t the poll ask what percentage of Americans would vote for a Christian??

  20. 20
    earlycuyler

    Added to r/atheism. They’re sure to pull the poll now.

  21. 21
    Travis

    That was sort of pathetic. I am surprised their readership levels are so low that they are completely unable to hold off a PZ horde attack. Two hours of us voting completely destroyed that poll.

  22. 22
    hyperdeath

    Where’s the “Sell me gold at a vastly inflated price, so that Glenn Beck can profit from my paranoid belief in an upcoming economic collapse, due there being a black man in the Whitehouse” option?

  23. 23
    lilandra

    They are at church right now. While the cat is away, the mice will play. ;)

  24. 24
    Shplane, Spess Alium

    @duvelthehobbit666

    No they didn’t. The answer there is “Yes”. If you don’t care about someone’s religious affiliation, then you would vote for an atheist if they were the better candidate. “I don’t care”, like the “I’m in the middle” option, is nothing but a blatant subversion of a simple fucking yes or no question.

    If the question is “would you vote for an atheist?” and the answer isn’t “NO I AM BIBLEMAN”, then there is only one other meaningful choice.

  25. 25
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    I’d vote for a good Bible-believing atheist, at least.

    hey! I am one of those bible believing atheists. I believe that the bible exists.

  26. 26
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Jeffran:

    From Disenlightened – “Atheists are the homosexuals of the religious world.”

    Well, at least we’re not the Jews of liberal fascism.

    Duvelthehobbit666:

    I always hate these polls. They always leave out the “Who the fuck cares” option.

    This is a feature and not a bug.

  27. 27
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Shplane:

    NO I AM BIBLEMAN

    Has he lost his mind?
    Can he see or is he blind?
    Can he think at all?
    Or if he tries to, will he fall?

    Is he alive or dead?
    Has he thoughts within his head?
    We’ll just pass him there;
    Why should we even care?

  28. 28
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    I AM BIBLEMAN!

    Has he lost his mind?
    Can he see or is he blind?
    Can he walk at all,
    Or if he moves will he fall?
    Is he alive or dead?
    Has he thoughts within his head?
    We’ll just pass him there.
    Why should we even care?

  29. 29
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Oh shit!

  30. 30
    Shplane, Spess Alium

    I have no idea what just happened.

  31. 31
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Shplane, are you familiar with Black Sabbath?

  32. 32
    Lycanthrope

    …What the fork is “the middle” on this one?

  33. 33
    Shplane, Spess Alium

    Yes, actually, I am. One of my favorite bands.

    I’m just a little slow sometimes, I guess. >.>

  34. 34
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Also, there is this Bibleman.

    Yes, that is Willie Aames, formerly of Eight Is Enough and the teen sex comedy, Zapped. Kurt Cameron is hardly the only former child star to go down the wackaloon route.

  35. 35
    sebloom

    As of 1:25 PM ET the score is…

    Absolutely. 75.34% (3,504 votes)
    No way. 23.09% (1,074 votes)
    I’m in the middle on this one. 1.57% (73 votes)

    …but who’s counting.

  36. 36
    Loqi

    @Janine #34
    We found that show while channel surfing during an intermission at a LAN party. We found it so hilarious that we shut the games down and just watched it for like two hours.

    @Lycanthrope #32
    Beck always puts an “I’m in the middle on this one” option, no matter what. The question could be “Are you a dumptruck?” and he’d still have that option.

  37. 37
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Loqi, I do hope that you all were stoned and/or drunk.

  38. 38
    aarrgghh

    holey moley (pun intended), this poll is totally bogus by design. i just voted like 50 times, then got the message: “we have received too many votes from you. you will be unblocked after a cooling off period.”

    “too many votes”!

    so this is a feature and not a bug: the blaze has actually designed their polls to be “freeped” by their readers. they allow you to vote and vote again.

    so go to it, guys!

  39. 39
    nonny

    Absolutely. 76.47% (4,270 votes) – Two of those votes are mine.

    It’s good to see a majority of Americans would now vote for an atheist. Now you just need an atheist candidate to vote for.

  40. 40
    Loqi

    Loqi, I do hope that you all were stoned and/or drunk.

    Nope. We just all appreciate a truly horribe show that can only be enjoyed in an MST3K way.

  41. 41
    Rob in Memphis

    Jebus, there are some dumbass commenters over there.

    But the truth is if you cannot see the revelation of God in everything around you then you are simply lacking something, especially in the area [sic] of logic and reason…. (emphasis added)

    LOLwhut?

    I am a 67yo. Baptist Christian–That makes me an INFIDEL. I have very close friends that are Catholic, Mormon, Methodist–all are Christians and all are INFIDELs. My Jewish friends are–You Guessed It-INFIDELs.

    Read the KORAN–the BIBLE and the BOOK OF MORMAN [sic]. It doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out that NON INFIDELS should NEVER be allowed in ANY type of Government Position.

    Um…

    infidel [in-fi-dl] n. a person who does not accept a particular faith, especially Christianity. A person who has no religious faith; unbeliever. (emphasis added)

    Sometimes the comedy just writes itself!

  42. 42
    Loqi

    Come on, you wouldn’t be rolling on the floor laughing at a superhero who defeats evil by quoting bible verses at them? We were struggling to breathe.

  43. 43
    Loqi

    Not to mention he’s dressed in a foam costume that even the most amateur cosplayer would be ashamed of.

  44. 44
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Point made, Loqi. I concede the idea that you need to be chemically altered to sit through that.

  45. 45
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    But being drunk and high was the only way I got through On Deadly Ground.

  46. 46
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Loqi:

    “Are you a dumptruck?”

    *Yes
    *No
    *I don’t know– is that what these extra axles are for?

    Sorry everyone, but I refuse to visit Teh Blaze for any reason whatsoever. Would someone throw in an extra couple of “Absolutely” votes for me?

  47. 47
    Loqi

    Would someone throw in an extra couple of “Absolutely” votes for me?

    A few for me too, if someone would be so kind. I visited that site once, and I felt like I needed a shower for giving Glenn Beck a hit and a therapist for reading the comments.

  48. 48
    Loqi

    Now that Janine has kindly reminded me of the hilarity that is Bibleman, I’m tempted to go to CONvergence in that ridiculous outfit. Though I fear it would be in poor taste, because in order to be in character, I’d have to go around accosting teens for holding hands because it’s a pathway to sin.

  49. 49
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    OMFG. I just came back to this thread after a couple of hours.

    /high-fives Janine

  50. 50
    Balstrome

    PZ Myers
    Clearly, I’m bigger than Glenn Beck. Where is my TV show?

    Podcast is a start, tomorrow the rest of it.

  51. 51
    'Tis Himself

    Absolutely 78.8% (5,813 votes)

    No way 19.82% (1,462 votes)

    I’m in the middle on this one 1.38% 102 votes)

    Total Votes: 7,377

  52. 52
    A Hermit

    One of the more entertaining comment sections I’ve seen, complete WITH random cAPITaliZATions and 20% added lunacy…

  53. 53
    allenglendenning

    Hilarious. It is now around 79% in favor and it says it has a +/- of 4% with 95% confidence of accurracy! Think it will change Glenn’s mind?

  54. 54
    JohnnieCanuck

    Okay, I may never get my computer clean again after going to that site, but there was some compensation to make up for it.

    Under the heading of You May Also Like was an article titled:

    Boiled and Baked Baby Back Ribs

    They must have seen the Atheist Horde coming. Very tender, I’m sure but one baby couldn’t have very much meat on its back ribs.

    Heh.

  55. 55
    paleotrent

    I voted three times. Was that wrong?

  56. 56
    karpad

    And why didn’t the poll ask what percentage of Americans would vote for a Christian??

    Because we don’t need polls for that. We have elections. Have you ever voted for President of the United States? If so, you are clearly willing to vote for a Christian, being the only game in town.

    Would you prefer to is an unanswered question, but not the one you asked.

  57. 57
    The very model of a modern armchair general

    79% in favour. Good work, internet!

  58. 58
    Loqi

    I voted three times. Was that wrong?

    Just rationalize it as voting on behalf of Audley Darkheart and me. You just saved us from having to visit Glenn Beckistan.

  59. 59
    feralboy12

    I voted three times. Was that wrong?

    No. The point of this exercise is to demonstrate that internet polls are silly, unscientific and useless. Normally they’re put up so somebody’s self-selected readership can reinforce the website’s opinions.
    Some bubbles cry out to be burst. Bursted. Busted. Whatever.

  60. 60
    paleotrent

    I was channeling my inner George Costanza there. Obscure, and now antiquated, pop culture reference “fail”.

  61. 61
    golkarian

    The poll is pretty much opposite of what it used to be now

  62. 62
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    All Glenn Beck will see from this is the finger of satan.

  63. 63
    Ariaflame, BSc, BF, PhD

    Australia does have an atheist prime minister and we seem to have weathered the GFC better than most developed nations. Though I am disappointed with her stance on gay marriage, (I mean WTF? I don’t want to get married myself either but no interest in stopping others.) but at least the school chaplain funding got ruled unconstitutional .

    Someone can vote for me since I can never vote for a president.

  64. 64
    theophontes (恶六六六缓步动物)

    @ OP

    By your leave my liege.

    Absolutely. 79.99%
    No 18.74 %
    Middle 1,27%

    Still, a long way to go to match the White MenZ ™.

  65. 65
    Christoph Burschka

    The question is asked in a nonsensical and fallacious way. The dichotomy of deciding to “absolutely” or in “no way” vote for a candidate of any creed, orientation or race is patently comical.

    This is obvious for race, gender and sexuality, which most of us would dismiss as irrelevant to politics. But even for religion – where I’m sure most of us would vastly prefer an atheist candidate over a religious one sight unseen, because religious belief actually does impact policy – absolutes are fallacious. I’d vote for the Christian minister Martin Luther King over the atheist Ayn Rand any day.

    The honest answer for anyone except a bigot is “it depends on the candidate’s platform”. But the question is targeted at bigots. It wants to be answered with “no”.

  66. 66
    Christoph Burschka

    I should add that this refers to the Blaze poll; not the Gallup question they quote which specifically speaks of a “generally well-qualified” nominee.

    (Of course, that runs into its own problems: To a person who would vote against a candidate on such a basis, a “well-qualified candidate who happens to be ___” is a contradiction in terms.)

  67. 67
    Christoph Burschka

    (Ouch, triple-posting.)

    The comments by “ignoranceispathetic” on there are an entertaining invokation of Poe’s Law.

    AGREED! Satan might as well ride a Jet Ski all the way up the Mississippi river while swinging two dead possums. When you take God out of country, you get SATAN, JET SKIS, and POSSUMS. Stupid atheists.

    Deport that Muslim Obama back to Israel where he belongs!

    According to a World Health Organization study in 2006, atheists are 20 times more likely to literally EAT BABIES than anyone else. How can we vote for people like this?

  68. 68
    stubby

    It’s over 80% now. The wing nuts over there seem to think this is a sign of the end times.

  69. 69
    speed0spank

    The comments on that thing are enough to make my head explode. It really makes me feel hopeless to see that so many people think we are so terrible.
    It also scares me that grown people are so uneducated on the most basic things, and they vote.

  70. 70
    anubisprime

    speed0spank @ 69

    It really makes me feel hopeless to see that so many people think we are so terrible.

    No they actually don’t think…they are told…

    And we can all thank the priests, pastors, ministers. rabbis, mullah’s, imam’s, and uncle tom cobblers and all of religious flatulence!…for their slander and hysteria.

    It is just manipulation of the ignorant and brain dead…they all need someone to kick…the brain dead leaders just use a handy example of someone they hate and fear as the collective punching bag…they all feel righteous about it after they have exorcised their holy bone!

  71. 71
    Aquaria

    The ease and speed with which this poll has been pharyngulated tells me how many Glenn Beck followers read his own on-line magazine – not too bloody many at all.

    You do realize that a good deal of this douchecanoe’s followers not only are proud that they don’t do any of that sissy reading stuff, but also a shocking number of them can’t.

    One of the more entertaining comment sections I’ve seen, complete WITH random cAPITaliZATions and 20% added lunacy…

    The random capitalization is the internet equivalent of Beck’s tears.

  72. 72
    devnll

    As amusing as bombing their poll sounds, I’m not taking cookies – electronic or otherwise – from Glenn Beck. And after all, I don’t really expect to change his opinion, or particularly care what he thinks.

  73. 73
    mikee

    Speedospank #69

    I know what you mean by “The comments on that thing are enough to make my head explode”

    As a gay man I was doubly insulted that apparently “atheists are like homosexuals in that they both actively recruit people”

    Well I can honestly say I’ve never recruited anyone in either aspect in my life. What I have had is different religious groups come doorknocking, observed the dodgy recruiting practices of scientologists and listened to Muslim and Christian groups shout abuse at an atheist convention.

    The cognitive dissonance (not to mention the outright arrogance and rudeness) of some people knows no bounds.

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