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Jun 24 2012

I’m a total piker when it comes to blasphemy

I have been put in my place. This is a fantastic way to blaspheme. Behold, the Jesus Christ Ice Pop.

At a party this weekend celebrating New York Design Week, which begins today, the Chilean-born artist [Sebastian Errazuriz] plans to hand out 100 “Christian Popsicles” made of “frozen holy wine transformed into the blood of Christ” and featuring a crucifix instead the tongue depressor that typically hosts the frozen treats, he said.

An image of Jesus Christ positioned traditionally on the cross is visible once the ice pop is consumed. As for the frozen wine, Errazuriz said, he concealed it in a cooler and took it into a church, where it was “inadvertently blessed by the priest while turning wine into the blood of Christ during the Eucharist.”

Excellent! I bet they’d go well with crackers.

57 comments

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  1. 1
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    How many licks does it take to get to the center of Their Savior?

  2. 2
    dianne

    How does one “inadvertently” bless something or someone? Isn’t the whole point of a blessing the intent? It’s not like he accidentally poured blood into the wine or something, it’s all about magic transformation and it seems like that should be an effect of will. Or maybe the artists will was enough to cause it to change. So confusing when you don’t follow actual physical laws.

  3. 3
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Oh dear, I love the comments there. People are arguing that the author is ignorant and doesn’t understand religion if he thinks the priest could have accidentally blessed and turned wine into Christ’s blood. He’s got to mean it, don’t you know?

    The artist obviously knows little about Catholicism if he thinks that a priest can “accidentally” transform hidden wine in a cooler into Christ’s Blood. There are five-year-old Catholics that would know better than this. Embarrassing.

    Sorry to disappoint this bozo, but there is no such thing as accidental consecration – only the wine that the priest intends to consecrate as the Blood of Christ is actually transformed as such. All this idiot is peddling is frozen wine.

    There are more. Better put your irony meters in some safe container before reading more, you wouldn’t want to be hurt by all the explosions.

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Glen Davidson

    Lick your way to Jesus!

    Glen Davidson

  6. 6
    PZ Myers

    It was the shame that I was beaten to it.

  7. 7
    Sean Boyd

    It’s like having communion on a stick.

    And it’s chock full of symbolic goodness, too…getting to the center of the popsicle can represent Jeebus breaking the tomb open on the 3rd day. Hmmm…on second thought, maybe this isn’t such a great sacrilege to the Church after all.

  8. 8
    Susannah

    Well, that should finally top the cracker incident, so they’ll stop bringing it up.

    No?

    Or, alternatively, they’ll blame you for influencing the artist. More likely, I think.

  9. 9
    Randomfactor

    I’m sure a simple chemical analysis will TOTALLY prove this guy’s wine wasn’t REALLY consecrated.

    The Catlicks will have the last laugh yet.

  10. 10
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Looking for the Piss Christ Popsicle.

  11. 11
    Zeno

    Last year I posted “Christ on a Stick,” but the context was pogo rather than popsicle. Great innovations in religion tend to be slow to take hold.

  12. 12
    revjimbob

    According to the doctrine of the Trilogy, it should be buy one, get two free.

  13. 13
    ericpaulsen

    Mmmmmmmmm! Blood pops!

  14. 14
    sc_daf555bf3249c23d49bad8f71d730018

    Imagine what he could do with blood sausage.

  15. 15
    cag

    The pops are $2.00 but if you lick “there” it will cost an extra $100.00.

  16. 16
    sc_2f30f4ac0ee604ffcb1bca6ea0ebeea9

    I was thinking Chr-iced Pop would be a better name…

  17. 17
    Rey Fox

    Bleah. It’s just more of the worst part of any popsicle: the stick. My teeth and tongue shudder every time they make contact with that wood.

  18. 18
    Rey Fox

    They should be making popsicles with edible sticks.

  19. 19
    feralboy12

    How does one “inadvertently” bless something or someone? Isn’t the whole point of a blessing the intent?

    We’ll need a ruling from the hierarchy on this one, I think. I’d hate to have my Bit O Honey bar turn into Bit O Christ–shit, I’m a vegetarian.

  20. 20
    duncanbooth

    I’m sure a simple chemical analysis will TOTALLY prove this guy’s wine wasn’t REALLY consecrated.

    How much do you want to bet? I’m sure a simple chemical analysis will TOTALLY prove this guy’s wine is IDENTICAL to the same wine after it’s been consecrated.

  21. 21
    'Tis Himself

    The freezing point of ethyl alcohol is -114°C (-173°F). Those be some chilly pops.

  22. 22
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Beatrice, there’s also a hell of a lot of whining there about how the artist was “disrespectful” toward their imaginary friend. Boo hoo.

    Janine:

    Looking for the Piss Christ Popsicle.

    I don’t know that there’d be a big market for that outside of certain fetish demographics.

  23. 23
    duncanbooth

    The freezing point of ethyl alcohol is -114°C (-173°F). Those be some chilly pops.

    That would be some strange wine if it were pure alcohol. Spirits could be difficult to freeze but wine should freeze quite easily

  24. 24
    Island Adolescent

    Majority of comments in the link are basically “Do this to Islam you coward!” and “Wine to blood doesn’t work like that.”

    It’s VERY sad.

  25. 25
    'Tis Himself

    That would be some strange wine if it were pure alcohol. Spirits could be difficult to freeze but wine should freeze quite easily

    When I was young and dumb* I tried freezing some wine in a glass in a kitchen freezer. It didn’t work. The alcohol turned the wine into a slushy.

    *Not like now when I’m old and dumb.

  26. 26
    ChristineRose

    Freezing wine sort of makes slush and if you let it stand the alcohol will come to the top and you can decant it for brandy. When I was a kid I was taught that if you froze it it was applejack and if you distilled it it was apple brandy.

    The wine pops must have some sort of emulsifier or a very low alcohol content, or maybe they are just a very messy eat. Actually I doubt if anyone eats them at all. They seem to be some sort of art project.

    It’s just as well that the priest has to have intent to bless the wine because the idea of an accidental imaginary blood pop is only a little less ick than an imaginary cup of blood anyhow.

  27. 27
    Rumtopf

    I just so happen to be eating a rocket lolly. Science pop!

  28. 28
    Rob in Memphis

    Reading some of the comments over there makes me think of one of Roger Smith’s lines from the American Dad! episode, “Rapture’s Delight”:

    Ah, I love your religion – for the crazy! Virgin birth, water into wine; it’s like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.

    The whole episode is great, though, especially the puppet show explaining the Rapture.

    And there are lots of posts saying that consecration doesn’t work the way the artist thinks it does, and at least one saying that if that’s what the artist did he’s guilty of stealing the blood of Christ. So either it doesn’t work that way or you bet your ass it works that way? *headdesk*

  29. 29
    RFW

    I’ll betcha the proverbial jelly-filled donut that if these Christo-pops were being peddled to the faithful by one or another of the grifters we all know and love so well, the faithful would be buying them by the carload.

    Once the current furor has died down, stay tuned for Pat Robertson and his ilk to take this idea up as another cool way to separate their followers from their hard-earned dollars.

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Ahhh yes Fatwa Envy on display in the comments.

  32. 32
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    @16:
    That was side splittingly awful.

  33. 33
    madscientist

    Yuck … the thought of licking a zombie’s crotch.

  34. 34
    ritapita

    Ooooh! Wine & crackers. I’ll bring the cheese. Paaaarty!

  35. 35
    Anthony K

    My teeth and tongue shudder every time they make contact with that wood.

    An exerpt from the erotic best seller, Fifty Shades of Rey.

  36. 36
    ritapita

    Another thought, though somewhat unrelated. I’ve always wanted to form a christian safe-sex class for hard core believers called “Condoms for Christ”. Perhaps put biblical verses on the condoms and so on. Darn thing is, my atheism prevents me from going through with the idea.

  37. 37
    Anthony K

    Another thought, though somewhat unrelated. I’ve always wanted to form a christian safe-sex class for hard core believers called “Condoms for Christ”. Perhaps put biblical verses on the condoms and so on. Darn thing is, my atheism prevents me from going through with the idea.

    Why should your atheism stop you?

    There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.—Ezekiel 23:20

  38. 38
    laurentweppe

    That’s more than a blasphemy: that’s an absolute casus belli: by increasing the amount of wood, you diminish the volume of frozen unhealthy sugary grape juice available.
    Bring the Nukes! Someone is trying to diminish our pop doses!

  39. 39
    aspidoscelis

    Hm. I wonder if Sebastian Errazuriz is a member of the same family for which the genus Errazurizia (Fabaceae) is named? Seems likely…

  40. 40
    Skepgineer

    Just what catholic priests need! Another way of getting minors intoxicated!

  41. 41
    nonny

    Freesus Christ?

    Rey Fox- I bet you could make popsicle stick out of cimmamon or liquorice wood, which would be chewable and add flavour.

  42. 42
    anuran

    This guy could Blaspheme for the Olympics

  43. 43
    Brian Murtagh

    The only bit that disappoints is that the traditionally posed Jesus drawing doesn’t have a woody.

  44. 44
    A. R

    Perhaps the popsicle stick could be made out of stiffened consecrated cracker?

  45. 45
    Anthony K

    “which would be chewable and add flavour”
    “stiffened consecrated cracker”

    I don’t know what the big deal is. This book is just weird.

  46. 46
    Loqi

    All the Catholics saying the priest can’t accidentally bless the wine is way off base. Every Warcraft player knows that consecration is AoE.

  47. 47
    stoferb

    Talk about a “personal relationship with Jesus” getting a whole new meaning. Not for catholics though, they regularly eat him.

  48. 48
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    If it’s not consecrated: Imitation Christ. If it is: Sacrilicious.

  49. 49
    Rip Steakface

    Perhaps the popsicle stick could be made out of stiffened consecrated cracker?

    Stiffening is the last word you want to use in relation to Catholic priests.

  50. 50
    Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion

    @15 cag:

    Don’t you mean it’s $2.00, but if you lick ‘there’ they’ll give you a $20,000 payout and help you move house? :P

  51. 51
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Would have been much cooler if he made it with frozen pureed fetuses.

  52. 52
    John Scanlon FCD

    dianne #2, it has been authoritatively established on this blog that intent isn’t magical, so, ipso facto, the incantation by the ordained bloke in the dress must transubstantiate all bread and wine within its zone of influence whether he’s aware of its presence or not.

  53. 53
    petzl20

    What’s funny about it is, from the catholics point of view, they’ll totally buy into the idea that they were “bamboozled” into blessing this illicit wine and they’ll want it back or disposed of properly or something. ie, a theft of services has occurred. well, that plus desecration of the Blood of Christ. be interesting to see how far they might go with this, being that they do get so animated when someone manages to smuggle an unconsumed Host out of communion.

  54. 54
    John Scanlon FCD

    Just realised I should have written ‘hocus pocus’ instead of ‘incantation’. Shall I come in again?

  55. 55
    petzl20

    If you’ll note the relevant cleric spell, liquid within 10 feet are affected. Thus, the artist could easily have secreted a wine carton on or near the altar and had it transformed without the priest’s knowledge. Errazuriz’s story is quite plausible.
    —————————————-
    Spell: Purify Food and Drink
    Purify Food and Drink Transmutation
    Level: Clr 0, Drd 0
    Components: V, S
    Casting time: 1 standard action
    Range: 10 ft.
    Target: 1 cu. ft./level of contaminated food and water
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: Will negates (object)
    Spell Resistance: Yes (object)
    Source: http://www.dandwiki.com

  56. 56
    julietdefarge

    @Beatrice- You’re right. This wine would not be blessed when the priest elevated the chalice. It might get “inadvertently blessed” if the priest was casting holy water about with a sprinkler.
    I hope you will back me up as I explain, once more, that the host is not a cracker. This designation is an insult to all crackers, which have ingredients other than flour and water, and are all intended to have some sort of taste, even it’s just a bit of browning. Only under conditions of very low humidity will a host actually crack. And, crackers cost more. Look how cheap hosts are: http://www.aquinasandmore.com/catholic-gifts/whole-wheat-1-1-8-in.-hosts/sku/11002

  57. 57
    shadow

    @29:

    Sheep are there to be fleeced.

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