Oct 27 2011
Watch the cuttlefish stalking shrimp, cautiously advancing by walking on a couple of arms — it almost looks like a tetrapod for a few moments. And then, finally, the lightning-fast strike. Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face. There are so many occasions when that would come in handy.
(Also on Sb)
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
Chris Clarke is a science and natural history writer, editor, and
environmental protection activist in Joshua Tree, California.
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33 comments
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richardelguru
27 October 2011 at 11:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face”
Might not improve your reputation as a kisser
Jay
27 October 2011 at 12:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Faster than the eye can follow
DLC
27 October 2011 at 12:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
You know, it’s amazing to see the incredibly wide variety of survival schemes the various species evolved over the eons. Feeding in particular can be anything from the mundane to the bizarre.
Thomas Eldon Robbins
27 October 2011 at 1:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face. There are so many occasions when that would come in handy.”
From what i can tell, you do, it’s called your tongue. And yours is so sharp it does not even have to touch the target to wound or kill.
TheDawgLives
27 October 2011 at 1:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It looks like an underwater kitten the way it stalks about… The one thing saving the human race is that cats don’t have retractible spears.
~~Silk
27 October 2011 at 1:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It looks like a cat stalking a bird! Notice even the twitching “tail” on the back end.
PZ Myers
27 October 2011 at 1:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
No, I don’t. Doesn’t matter what I say, they’re still standing afterwards. I want something like this:
Creationist: If evolution is true, why are there still mon…
PZ: <thwibbt>
Onlookers: AAAAAAAIAH! You ripped out his brain!
Rev. BigDumbChimp
27 October 2011 at 1:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Uh oh, the intersucktion fainting couch crowd will be here soon to point fingers and tell us how violent we are.
Bad form PZ, You heartless bastard.
uke
27 October 2011 at 1:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Dang. What an awesome critter.
pensnest
27 October 2011 at 1:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Awesome. It looks like a R.O.U.S.
marko
27 October 2011 at 1:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Or perhaps…
AAAAAAAIAH! You inserted a brain!
ChasCPeterson
27 October 2011 at 2:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ssssssshhhhh!!!!!
be vewy, vewy quiet.
I’m hunting shwimp.
[shrimp: ehhhh, what's up, Doc?]
Lenux
27 October 2011 at 2:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
>Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face.
So that’s why you’re a God-hating atheist isn’t it? You’re just jealous of Jesus, because he has a sword coming out of his mouth with which he can slay unbelievers(Revelation 19:21), and you don’t!
Kristjan Wager
27 October 2011 at 2:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I am sure you’d get a lot more respect from your students – at least after using it the first time.
Greg
27 October 2011 at 2:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“… and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.”
Not only is he crazy late, he’s dawdling at the sushi bar.
lamanga2004
27 October 2011 at 2:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
OMG submarine cat. As above, I also saw it ‘flicks its tail’ a little bit. That is the weirdest thing ever. It really does look like a cat.
barbarienne
27 October 2011 at 3:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wow! Totally like a cat, as others have observed. I wonder if, like cats, cuttlefish sometimes settle back down in a “eh, this is taking too long; I just want a nap, now” kind of way.
Glen Davidson
27 October 2011 at 3:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s not like the creationist actually used it, you know.
Glen Davidson
cicely, Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac
27 October 2011 at 3:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I, too, have often wished for a retractable spear, though not necessarily in my face.
-
1) He wasn’t using it for anything anyway; no harm, no foul.
2) One less dolt to answer, one less zombie to fry.
-
A. R
27 October 2011 at 3:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Spear in face could be quite useful for food preparation as well…
Amphiox, OM
27 October 2011 at 4:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s a pre-adaption for the inevitable cephalopod conquest of the land!
Once they solve the salt balance thing, we’re all doomed.
Swampus and Squibbons, here we come….
Halcyon Dayz, FCD
27 October 2011 at 5:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Doesn’t sound very nourishing.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
27 October 2011 at 7:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
No, I don’t. Doesn’t matter what I say, they’re still standing afterwards. I want something like this:
Creationist: If evolution is true, why are there still mon…
PZ:
Onlookers: AAAAAAAIAH! You ripped out his brain!
Face it, Myers, YOU are that annoying nerd whining “But WHY can’t I play a mind flayer?!?” when rolling up characters for D&D…
cicely, Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac
27 October 2011 at 7:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
But if he DMs his own group, he can play as many mind flayers as he likes!
:)
-
Phoenician in a time of Romans
27 October 2011 at 9:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“You see before you a cuttlefish, coyly displaying a bright mating signal. Roll to see if you resist its sexy allure.”
“Um, Paul, me and the guys have been talking, and we’re really uncomfortable with the direction your campaign has been going in…”
Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan
27 October 2011 at 10:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Unexpected, but seriously cool. I found myself wanting to PET the cuttle while cooing, “Who’s a cute little fishie? You, are! Yes, you are!” Fucking bastard would probably try to spear my face.
mythusmage
27 October 2011 at 10:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
#7, PZ
But then lawyers from Wizards of the Coast would be after you for a trademark violation.
(1,000 nerd points for recognizing that in-joke. :) )
mythusmage
27 October 2011 at 10:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
#5,
Who needs spears when you’ve got daggers? :)
Ichthyic
27 October 2011 at 10:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
ah, this makes me wonder if you have ever read:
Darths and Droids
Noadi
27 October 2011 at 11:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m not sure if I’m hoping cephalopods evolve longer lifespans or not. I’m convinced the only reason they don’t currently have a complex underwater civilization is that it’s pretty hard to do that when you only live a couple years and die after mating. If they have a shift in their life cycle to multiple breeding cycles instead of one, we’re doomed.
evader
28 October 2011 at 3:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I want “I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face” on a T-shirt.
MikeM
28 October 2011 at 7:23 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
#7, PZ: What brain?
theophontes
28 October 2011 at 10:57 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Aaah. At last some evidence that Teh Ebil Oberlawd is actually in awe of teh kittehz. What you see here is (as everyone has noticed) a creature that behaves EXACTLY like an underwater kitteh.
Follow the irrefutable logic:
* TEO loves creature A. But,
* creature A behaves just like creature B,
* therefore TEO loves creature B!
* etc
QED…
(Simply substitute A for “cuttlefish”, B for “kitteh”, C for “sea”, D for “air”, E for “retractable spear built into face” … I leave it as exercise to work out the various permutations,… but the logic is infallible.)